I guess I'll have about less than a month in the house, sure hope someone calls with an apartment that I can afford!  The bank has accepted a deed-in-lieu , not totally sure what that is but I give the house back to the bank. Each person I talk to at the housing court has a different timeline so I'll go by mine and just get out as soon as I can. 

I saw something on the show the other day and it took me back to one of the abusive situations I was in. I lived with this guy for 3 months and it felt like 20 years. I had known him for a few years and I needed a place to stay, my 2 youngest were in grade school and he lived near the school so I figured it would be okay. Among my many bad decisions, this is up there. I wasn't allowed to go to the store, I couldn't get phone calls, he didn't want me to see my mom, I couldn't go volunteer at my kids school and he used to meet me at the door with a gun pointed at me if I was late. My poor boys were not allowed to talk, sit on the couch or watch tv. Finally one day I knew he had a doctors appointment, I packed up whatever I could carry and left. I was so scared, I thought he was always behind me. I was going to school at the time and I thought he was outside the apartment I found ,one day he was , he had the hood of my car open and I hid in the house til he left. He always played mind games and I was so scared I believed everything he said. One night he called , about 3 am, he was visiting  in Arkansas, I'm in Ohio , he said he would be at my place in an hour and I totally believed he would be there. I woke up my sons , got in the car and went to my moms. I still look around thinking he will be somewhere close by.

My life has been like that until I was in my 50's which I am very ashamed to admit but I can't change it . I think that is why I allow no one into my life except for my sons because I know they won't hurt me.