"It's a new year..."
"It's a new year..."
Through this journey, through the ups and downs leading to this very present day, I am left with one simple yet complex question: Is there really a soulmate for everyone? And if it does exist for how long? And how do you know for certain seeing that most of us change in our lives into different people each and every day as we move along with life circumstances. Most people that I talk with or have witnessed in my life growing up seemed to have lost their "connection" with their mate and seemingly are moving through life with a best friend, at best, without the love part. Does it seemingly transform and evaporate, evolving into friends on a schedule with kids, tight schedules, and struggling to make ends meet? I don't mean to be cynical and definitely not in my nature to be so, but with love...love is something I just do NOT understand. I have had it all at such a young age: money, success, designer clothes, nice cars, several empty rooms in my home with enough space to actually have a family and now I'm thinking what's the good side to all this? The marriage that evolves to partnership and less "in love" or the freedom that I so openly have, and so openly would wish away if i had the choice. Do soulmates truly and ultimately exist, and in a world full of millions of people searching for love, why does it seem most of us are still searching and searching? I hear the cliche term in response to finding the right person probably every day of my life..." you just know when it's the right person". Do these people know the dating scene in 2011, how hard it is to get a guy to even open my car door...let alone pick up the phone to call over text messaging... or am i just completely off target here?
My latest video blog.
When I watched Jennifer sitting there, i could feel her pain. I felt like I couldn't breathe in that room with Peter there. It brought me back to those feelings again with my own past with my fiancee...the last man I was so close to before he abruptly cheated on me and i spiraled into a lonely state where i have kept myself far, far away from love...I knew every word that escaped Jennifer's mouth and worse, I knew her pain in her heart. Even though we have had many differences on the show, and Jennnifer has expressed on numerous occassions her anger and dislike for me...and somedays I get luck and she likes me too!! I get it. 16 years of not feeling good enough for her husband. I haven't felt good enough for a very long time in my life. Then time escapes you, and you can't erase time, and you find yourself seeing yourself for the first time wondering "what do i do with this". My hope is Jennifer sees her potential as a woman, a wife, a friend, a funny, beautiful person whether she stays with Peter or not...realizes how WORTHY she really is as I am trying too in this process as well.. Love to Jennifer tonight.
Believe, know, trust that the TRUTH in life will always set you free