"Taking my midterms! Studying & helping out Mom!"

My mother has always raised my nephew, Nathan. Not to sound selfish but when Nathan was born I had to grow up and there my childhood ended. My sister Alexandra was just care free. She loved her son of course but she was more interested in so many other things. It hurt me deeply when my mom was Nathan's mom. I still needed her and still do. My mom wasn't really there when I was younger to hold my hand when I was scared or rub my tummy when I was sick. I am thankful for everything my mom has done. It has made me so strong and who am I today. It brings tears of sadness to my eyes when people ask me about my sister. My sister has hurt more than just her family but her friends as well. I love my sister don't get me wrong but she is irresponsible. I think she chose her boyfriend over her kids. I am angry with my sister. I know she needs me though. Alexandra is lonely and I am her sister it is my duty to be there for her. Alex and my mom do not speak; that hurts me a lot. My mom does a great job raising Nathan & Leilah but my sister thinks she is trying to steal them away. My mom just wants what is best for the kids. Everyone knows my sister is not fit to raise her kids right now. Neither are the fathers. I do wish my mom would stop and be the grandmother sometimes. I missed her growing up. It is always about Leilah and Nathan she worries herself crazy. My mom needs time to herself. My sister and both the dads need to pull their heads out of their butts and realize what they are doing to our family!!

Dr. Phil's Parental Legacy Exercise

Our parents have a powerful hold on us throughout our lives. Recognize how your parents and your childhood may be impacting you. Find out how your past could contaminate your future, and then you can make conscious decisions to behave differently. Envision your mother, then father, good or bad, happy or sad.
In the presence of your Mother:



Complete the sentence, "What I got from my mother I did not want ..."
Out of all the things I received from my mom, I wish I didn't receive her judgmental trait, as I call it. When my mother meets a person, she judges them. For example, if they dress a certain way she places them in a certain category in her mind. If someone dresses in all black for example she says they are "Goth" and "depressed." I used to put people in these categories as well. I had to train myself out of it. That is partially why I never brought any of my friends around.


Complete the sentence, "What I resent about my mother ..."
I resent my mother for babying my sister all those years that she did. As we all know, my sister had Nathan when she was fifteen. My mother would always run to her side and rescue her if Nathan would cry or couldn't fall asleep. My mom would say, "No no, just let me do it." In the real world my sister would have to figure it out by herself.


Complete the sentence, "What I love about my mother ..."
There are so many things that I love about my mother! She is the strongest person I know! My mom is not afraid of anything. She takes on the world with her chin high and never lets anything stop her. My mother always taught me to never let anyone knock me down and to always follow my heart no matter where it took me.


If your mother had one minute left in this life, what would you tell her?
If I had one minute left in this life I would tell my mom, "Thank you for being the best! You taught me so many things that I would have never wanted to learn from anyone else! You were there when I fell down. You pushed me when I needed to be pushed. You listened to me when I need to talk you held my hand when I was scared. Most of all you loved me no matter what I did. I love you."


In the presence of your Father:


Complete the sentence, "What I got from my father I did not want ..."
One of the things I received from my father that I wish I didn't would definitely be his temper. My father is a hot-head. As a child I had a hard time controlling my temper. The little things would just tick me off and I would explode. Sometimes it still happens. I have learned how to control it a lot better. Especially seeing myself on TV made me realize it is not important to freak out.


Complete the sentence, "What I resent about my father ..."
I resent my father for favoring my sister over me. When I was younger my father would always run to my sister and try to rescue her from everything and everyone. Anytime I needed my father I felt like he wasn't there. I wish we could have been closer when I was younger.


Complete the sentence, "What I love about my father ..."
I love my father's strength! My dad is one of the strongest men I know. My dad works everyday of his life and never takes a day off. He always is building something new and working on something for my mom. He tries so hard to please our family. My dad loves his girls, me, mom, and my sister more than anything! Every time I fell my dad was right behind me to scoop me up and wipe away my tears. Now that I am older I can tell my dad anything and he always listens to what I have to say.


If your father had one minute left in this life, what would you tell him?
If I had one minute left in this life I would tell my dad he is great. We had a rocky start growing up but I love him with all my heart. I would never ask for a different dad. He is always there to guide me and to hold my hand. He also is my protector from anything bad or evil. My dad would do anything for me just so I wouldn't be sad for an instant. To me there is nothing more anyone could ask for. This even brings tears to my eyes sitting here writing this. I love you Poppy! I love you so much!

"A little nervous."

Learning to stand on my own two feet.