Since talking to my sister on the show, we have sent only a few messages between us. I recently changed my phone number and have been hesitant to text her. I am afraid I will say the wrong thing and hinder her recovery. I asked my Dad to give her my number and we should be texting again soon.

The text messages that were exchanged were very positive. We talked about the show and how well it went. I am so proud of her for choosing to go to rehab at Origins Recovery Center. I cannot imagine how scared she must have been. I just still feel so betrayed by her. All the lies she told, and all the people she has walked on. I want to forgive her and let her into my life again, but only when I am ready. I know I am not ready to talk to her on the phone or in person as of right now. If I did talk to her in person I think I would become angry and say things I don't mean.   

I love my sister. She is so smart, brave and once again, caring. We will, one day, have a relationship again. I look forward to the future and getting my healthy, wonderful, smart sister back into my life.
The intervention in May 2011 was the last "conversation" I had with my sister. I do not even consider the words exchanged between us a conversation because she was so influenced by the drugs she was using. Since the failed intervention attempt in May 2011, a lot has changed in both of our lives. I started school again, had my son, Paul, and now live in my own house. Alex stopped using drugs, finally committed to rehab and is now a recovering addict. I am so proud of her for making the right choice for her life.

I have avoided talking to my sister for a long time, almost an entire year. I neglected talking to her because of the way I feel toward her. I am angry she just abandoned her kids and family, and made such irresponsible choices. Now that I am a mother I could never imagine leaving my son like she left her children. I feel very upset that she could do that to her family. I am trying to learn how to cope with my anger and control my emotions toward my sister.

I knew I would have to talk to Alex eventually, she is family. I just did not want the conversation between us to go sour and get out of hand. I agreed to talk to her on the show because I knew Dr. Phil would guide the conversation and give me advice on how to talk to my sister now that she is sober. The conversation between my sister and I went smoothly. I felt extremely relived after talking to my sister. I am looking forward to slowly building the trust between us.
Well my sister Alex has been in rehab for two months and is doing great. I still have not spoken to her but I ask my Mom daily how Alex is doing. I did receive a short letter from her apologizing for being so distant and angry towards me.

Recently, my Mom went to Family Week at Origins in Texas where Alex is staying. I was happy that my Mom and sister would get a chance to work on their relationship and just be around one another in a positive atmosphere. I know that my Dad would of loved to go and be with my sister as well and see her sober and healthy. But my Dad is the provider for her children and couldn't afford to take off work. Paying for three kids, two dogs, two cats, 3 horses, and chickens is expensive. I just hope my sister can realize how much my parents sacrifice for her.

As for my sister seeing her children again, I think she has a long way to go. To me, she needs to prove her sobriety in the toughest of situations before she deserves to see her three children, two of whom she hasn't seen in a year. I am angry at her for how easily she chooses boys and such a toxic lifestyle over her own children. Alex should come home after rehab, get a job, a place of her own without a boyfriend and live a sober life for at least 6 months before she visits with the children. What if she slips and starts using again? Do her kids really deserve to go through this situation again? As for my son, I know Alex won't be meeting him until I feel she has proven herself to be a self-sufficient sober young woman.

I only wish the best for my sister. I hope she chooses to stay sober so, one day, she can have a relationship with her kids and my family again.
The day my Mom told me that Alex was considering rehab was a blessing. It was something I had been hoping would happen for a long time. I was sick of not knowing where she was or how she was doing. I was over feeling that one day I might get a phone call saying she was dead or in the hospital.
Mom had called me early afternoon and told me that she was trying to get Alex on a plane to Texas so she could check into Origins Rehab Facility. I was on edge the entire day praying she would agree to treatment. Around late afternoon I called my Dad to see if there was any progress and he told me Alex had agreed to check it out and my Mom and sister were on a plane headed to Texas already. I was weary of my sister's motives as to why she agreed though. Was it because she was sick of being homeless, hungry, and alone? Or was it because she was actually ready to get better and have a relationship with her family again? I still have not talked to my sister. From what I hear though her first few days were very hard due to withdraw but as of now she is doing well and is healthy, happy and continuing her recovery.
Baby Paul is now almost three months old and in size two diapers already! He is 24 inches long and 12 pounds. I look over at him sleeping in his swing next to me and think where did the last three months go? Everyone told me after he was born time would from then on just fly by. I feel like just yesterday we were in the hospital waiting for his arrival.

Being a Mom is not an easy job. But to me, being a Mom is the most rewarding job I could ever ask for. Instead of being paid money I get paid in poopy diapers, smiles, spit up, and cuddles. I wouldn't have it any other way. I remember holding my son for the first time our eyes met and how complete my heart felt is something I will never forget. The first few days home with Little Paul, were a little rough. His Daddy and I had to get used to no sleep, changing diapers, doctor appointments and so much more. After we set up a daily routine things got much easier. Being away from Paul is probably the toughest thing for me. I started school again recently and being away from him is not fun. I do love the fact that when I get home I am always welcomed by a set of beautiful blue eyes and a huge smile that makes my heart melt.

Paul's personality is starting to show and he is such a little ham! He loves to listen to music while he plays on the floor, and is already becoming a Momma's boy.
With the arrival of Paul just around the corner, I begin to visualize all my hopes and dreams for him. I imagine him learning to crawl, then walk, beginning to read, starting school and learning how to drive. I picture him doing all of these things perfectly without any hardships. The thought of my son having to struggle terrifies me. Reality is that there will be many difficult moments throughout his life that I simply cannot protect him from.

I do know that through encouragement and proper parenting, he will learn how to overcome obstacles that life will throw at him along his journey. I know that I can't prepare him for everything, or just hand him some instruction manual for life. I can, however, continue to pray and hope he will learn to make the right choices.

I see my son doing wonderful things with his life. God has a plan for Paul, and his father and I are excited to see what that plan holds. Whatever Paul chooses in life, his father and I will always be his number one supporters and cheerleaders.

I didn't think it was possible to have such an astronomical amount of love for someone I haven't even had the pleasure of meeting yet. This is what the beginning of motherhood must feel like. I can't wait to see what is next.
When I first told people that I was pregnant, I heard a lot about what a beautiful experience it would be. No one mentioned the constant heartburn and the constipation, or the sore breasts and wacky dreams. I guess that's because they knew those fleeting discomforts are worth it to support a little being inside me who will forever call me mom.

Still, it hasn't been easy, and I'm not sure I could have done it without my family. My mother, Erin, is like my own personal superhero. Whenever I call - and I call often - she's there to assure me that I can do this - I can be a mother to this child, and a good one at that. She is teaching me by example - she and my dad are raising my sister's three children, and I watch in amazement as she patiently helps mold their young minds with the right amounts of love, affection and discipline. 

My father continues to be like my shadow - sometimes I think he senses how I'm feeling. Just when I think I'm going to crack, he calls to help piece my life back together. He always has time to help me align my priorities and to voice his love for me.

Finally, my fiance Paul is my rock, and I'm so proud that we will name our son after his father. He's my partner, the father of my child, and my best friend, a man so dedicated to me that he has driven to get convenience store slushies in the middle of the night. 

I have images of these people - my mom, dad and sister - ingrained in my head, and will be examining their faces as I drive to the hospital one day soon, my already-packed bag in the back seat. I'll steel myself against the pain of contractions with the knowledge that the discomfort is part of the journey, and that the journey is certainly worth the effort. Thanks, Mom, Dad and Paul, for everything. I can't wait to introduce you to our son.
1. Are there certain behaviors or bad habits I need to stop? If so, what are they?
I would say that there are certain habits I need to stop. The thing I need to stop doing the most would be depending on others for happiness. I tend to expect too much from people. I think that is the biggest issue I have right now. I need to listen to my own heart.

2. Do I spend more money than I can afford, possibly jeopardizing the financial condition of myself or my family?
I do not spend more money than I need to. I am very efficient in money managing. I try to buy generic things and not eat out. I do not have to support anyone but myself. So I really don't spend extravagant amounts of money on things.

3. Do I choose to live recklessly and without regard for my personal safety?
I do not live recklessly. Whenever I am making a decision I think about how it could affect me in the future. I also think about if I have done something before and if the outcome was good.

4. Have I taken unnecessary risks?
I have taken many unnecessary risks. I have done many things that damaged my mind and heart. I think for a long time I wanted to be accepted by everyone and I just put myself aside. I am starting to learn that I need to make decisions for myself.

5. Am I failing to take care of my health by simply not requiring enough of myself?
I am now going to school and working. I spend a lot of time trying to keep my mind aligned. I know if I stay focused it will distract me from others issues in my life. I am taking care of my health by seeing my pain doctor regularly.

6. Have I failed to take my marriage vows seriously, being emotionally unavailable or even unfaithful? Have I considered how this behavior may affect my family?
In many relationships with my past boyfriends I had major trust issues. It is hard for me to trust a guy because I think in the back of my mind they will hurt me. I also become bored in many relationships. I just can't help but think if there is something better out there. I detach myself from men in my life and become bored quickly. I try to be there for the person I am dating but I know I may not always be emotionally available.

7. What are my current priorities and how do they affect my relationships with my family?
My current priorities are school, and work. I spend a lot of time away from my family. I know my parents want me to do well for myself. My parents want me to be self sufficient. I realized I need to do things for my own happiness and no one else's. If I am not doing something for me, then I will fail.
The last time my sister, mother and I were with Dr. Phil, he was very hard on us. I was not angry with the way Dr. Phil spoke to me that day. I was definitely surprised when he started to reprimand my sister, Alexandra, and me. And I feel like I did the right thing by sitting there and listening to what he had to say.

He told me not to take advantage of people, and I do agree that I sometimes do that. I also get very angry with people sometimes, and I have word vomit. People say things they don't mean all the time, but mine are just on television.

I know people think that I was out of line when I spoke to my mother so harshly and rudely, and they are right. I was out of line with my mother, and I do need to respect her more. I am glad Dr. Phil had that chat with my sister, Alexandra, and me. I think we both needed to hear him loud and clear about respecting each other and not lashing out against one another.

Dr. Phil was right when he said that my family needs to come together and work as a unit or our relationships with each other will not grow for the better. When Dr. Phil played those videos of me getting angry, I just felt very ashamed. I was in a bad mood at the time and had a lot of tough things to deal with. I know I should never yell or talk to anyone like that. Seeing myself on that tape made me change my ways. I am starting to listen to people more. When I get angry now, I walk away. I just say, "Give me a few minutes to collect my thoughts, and I will come back and talk to you." I must say, it is working very well.

It meant a lot to me when Dr. Phil gave me the Shell gas cards. I was so surprised and shocked when he told us we had free gas. I think I got so emotional because I felt so blessed to be able to keep appointments and have enough gas to get back and forth to school without worry.

I have certainly been through a lot with Dr. Phil. I know he cares about me and my family. I know he also wants the best for us. He only talked to me the way he did so that I could truly see how my actions were affecting others. I thank Dr. Phil for all he has done, even if it was a little tough love sometimes.


My sister's pregnancy did not shock me or suprise me believe it or not. I don't think she got pregant on purpose though. But, I don't think I will ever really find out if she intended to get pregnant or not. I think my sister wants what every woman wants, a family.
      I remember when I found out she was pregnant with Nathan. I was in 6th grade and I was deciding on my outfit for a Midieval fair at school. My mom sat me down and told me my sister was going to have a baby. It didn't set in at first but a few hours later alone in my room I began to cry. I was only 12 years old, I really didn't understand how it could of happened. I live in a small town where teen pregancy was unheard of then. When the word started to spread every kid and their parents would ask me if my sister was really pregant and ask me 1000 questions I couldn't answer. Like, when she got pregnant, how far along she was, what my parents were going to do and what I thought about the situation. To be honest I didn't know what to think about my sister being pregnant at 15 years old. I just knew I was going to have a nephew and I was going to be an auntie.
     I was 17 years old when my sister was pregnant with her second child, Leilah. Her now ex-husband Chris told me when we were walking down the street I lived on and I just about fell to my knees. I couldn't believe I thought he was joking. He was not joking. I was so angry at first because I felt like she didn't learn a thing from getting pregnant at 15 years old with Nathan. But, I accepted it.
     I  accepted it just like I did this time, the third time. When I found out she was pregnant for the third time I had just walked in the door and my mom just blurted it out and said my sister was pregnant again. I was not shocked and I didn't cry. I just said, "Wow, are you serious?" I was so mad at first I couldn't even look at my sister. I felt like she didn't care about my family and the consequences that entailed having a third child.
     Now, I am ok with my sister being pregnant for the third time, I have grown to accept it. I know my sister doesn't want it to hurt or tear apart our family. She just made an oops and as her family it is our job to support her. My sister is brave for facing this head on and being woman enough to accept the challenge. She did not take the easy way out and just get an abortion. I know it is a lot of stress on my family and it will continue to be.
     I think that this pregnancy will be a lot easier than the others because I know how to handle the situation now. I know yelling at my sister and calling her mean names will not help, but only make things worse. As her only sister I know it is my duty is to stand beside her and support her fully. Whatever my sister chooses in life I have to be there for her because I know she will be there for me no matter what I do or chose in life. I love my sister with all my heart and I am so proud of her and everything she has done. I know she is going through a lot and is very stressed about this new baby that is on the way. That is exactly it, this baby is coming whether we are ready or not.
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