Since being on the show, I've lost 50 pounds, and since starting Structure House, I've lost 42 pounds. I'm losing about two pounds a week. It's a slow process. I have had some struggles. My dog was put to sleep, and my friend passed away in the same week. Thankfully, I had the right tools from Structure House so I didn't take my emotions out on eating. I have had my slip-ups, nothing huge, but it's something to pay attention to. I usually want to eat when my sleep schedule gets messed up and I'm bored. 

For Valentine's Day, my mom sent my brother and sisters candies and cookies, but for me, she bought a new pair of shoes!

I can see myself with the same eating patterns for the rest of my life. It's so much easier than people think. Since I've lost the weight, I've felt amazing, like I could take on the world. I have so much more confidence and a much better outlook on life.  I can't wait to see how I feel when I lose an additional 100 pounds. I can't imagine the excitement.

Since the show, I've lost 50 pounds, and since starting Structure House, I've lost 42 pounds! I'm losing about 2 pounds a week. It's a slow process. I have had some struggles. My dog was put to sleep, and my friend passed away in the same week, but thankfully I had the right tools from Structure House so I didn't take my emotions out on eating. I have had my slip ups, nothing huge, but it's something to pay attention to. Usually I want to eat when my sleep schedule gets messed up and I have nothing else to do.

For Valentine's Day, my mom sent my brother and sisters candies and cookies, but for me, she bought a new pair of shoes!

I can see myself with the same eating patterns for the rest of my life. It's so much easier than people think. Since I've lost the weight, I've felt amazing - like I could take on the world! I have so much more confidence, and a much better outlook on life. I can't wait to see how much of a difference I'll feel when I lose the next 100 pounds. I can't stand the excitement.

I was recently trying on clothes at Old Navy and I finally fit in the clothes now! When I started at The Structure House I wore a size 24 pants (almost 26). Now, I'm at a size 22. I used to wear a 3x in shirts, and now I'm down to an XL. I've lost four inches in my chest, eight inches in my waist and four inches in my hips. In total, I've lost 16 inches. When I started the program at The Structure House I weighed 286 pounds, but as of today, I weigh 257.8. I've lost 28.2 pounds!

Your diary is supposed to be your best friend. Not a diary that you write your feelings in, but your food diary. Every week you are to write out your food plans and keep track of all of your calories. If you happen to go off your planned meals, there's a section for the antecedent called "unstructured."  Your antecedent is the trigger, just in case you were unaware.  So in my case, I'm on a 1600 calorie intake per day. You write down your days worth of food, which I do after I eat, so I'm completely aware of what I'm eating and not eating. 

When I first started at The Structure House I was eating well below 1600 calories. I was eating more toward 1200. As I began to open my eyes and try new things, this wasn't a big concern anymore. I'll admit I'm a very picky eater, but I'm beginning to overcome this. Your diary from The Structure House has a space at the top to write your weight as well as weight charts in the back. This really gives you an excellent idea of what you can change or even what you should keep the same. 

Everything at The Structure House is an amazing experience, anyone that's fortunate enough to go, really should.

I'm back home... back from a bubble and place of comfort.  I have to say, The Structure House is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. The first week I was there I thought it was never going to end, being in an unfamiliar place, without anyone I knew. When I first heard of the Structure House, I heard there was no one my age. It turns out that wasn't the case. There were people in their 20's to 30's which isn't bad to me because almost all my friends are older than I am. Most adults in their 20's and 30's all came a week before me and left a week before me, but I still made amazing friends in the short weeks that I knew them.

The first week, as anyone would tell you, is the worst, not being used to eating the food, and not knowing anyone.  The remaining weeks you're there, you begin to feel at home since everyone is welcoming and very nice. Once you get to your third and last week, sometimes you'll second guess yourself. Can I do this at home? Am I going to fail? Then you have to reassure yourself that it's all going to be okay. There's so many helpful classes that keep you on track once you get home. They won't let you leave clueless. Some classes you get more information then you want pertaining to what you used to eat, but its a good realization on how you were before and after you leave. So you might be thinking to yourself how much have you lost? I've now lost 24.8 pounds in a month and two weeks and I'm still sticking to the program. Once you get the hang of the program, it turns into a routine and it feels normal to grab whole wheat bread instead of white.

For me, my outlook on life changed.  Food is nothing but fuel, it's never going to be my friend and it will never cure emotional feelings I have. There's so much that goes into the program such as your calorie intake, exercise and physiological classes. It seems like a lot when you think about it, but it's not at all. Now that I'm finally feeling accomplished, I can't wait for what's next and to be back to a normal weight.  If you're trying to lose weight, just remember your weight IS going to go up and down. Don't give up. When you continue to workout through the plateaus, it will all be worth it when you're on the scale and see it drop after a hard week of your weight either rising or staying the same.

One last note, weigh yourself every day and record it.  Keeping a food and weight diary is one of the most important tools for weight loss. We'll save that for next time.

Since I was on the show, I've started making small changes.  I've started eating smaller portions, more vegetables with my dinner, and eating less frequently throughout the day. Also, I've been going on short walks and trying to be more active. It's definitely showing. I was 294 when I was on the show, now I'm down to 281!  It really helps making small changes, and gradually doing more.  I leave for The Structure House in 19 days and I'm very excited.

My dad's 55th birthday was the other day. There was pizza and cake, which instead of grabbing two, three or even four slices like I used to, I just stuck with one slice of pizza and one slice of cake. The funniest part is I was still criticized for it. My grandpa said, "You're eating both pizza and cake? No wonder you're still big."  This is typical for my family. They all have a very different sense of humor.

Other than my mom, dad, sister and brother, no one in my family saw my true eating habits. At one point, they were absolutely horrible. I was looking back at those days, and I have no idea how I was capable of eating that much. Sometimes I could eat as much as six slices of pizza, two large bags of chips, eight slices of toast, or two very large bowls of sugary cereal. Some of those things would be all I would eat for a day, or stuff I would eat for a meal. I didn't eat all of that in the same day, but it's still amazing to me that I could even manage to do that. I'm happy I didn't continue those trends because who knows how much more I would have weighed by now.

I have my mind set - while I'm at The Structure House, I'm only going to focus on eating right, and working out. This is finally my opportunity to prove to myself and everyone else, that I can lose the weight and I will. I feel like I'll be much more of an outgoing and adventurous person because there are so many activities that I can't or have a fear of participating in because of my weight. As of now, I'm making goals and creating little rewards for myself as I continue to drop pounds.

Since this whole experience has happened, I've been noticing more and more issues with being overweight. My whole body has been aching lately, and my knees crack if I keep them still for more than 5 minutes. Besides the noticeable issues on the outside, there's many more on the inside. I've kind of felt like I'm the black sheep of my family. My family doesn't treat me any different because I'm "fat", but in my mind my insecurities take a big toll on me. I don't ever even want to be in a picture next to my sister or brother because of the size difference. I'm twice the size of my sister. If you read my prior blogs, you'd know my sister is the "perfect" student, and an amazing ballet dancer. My brother is a incredible skateboarder and has a talent for graphic design. I always think, where does that leave me? My brother and sister graduated high school, are in college and are at an ideal weight. On the other hand, I'm very obese and a high school drop out, who is not yet in college.  Yes, I do have a goal to go to college, but I still feel like when my parents talk about our family, I should just be left out.

I know I have good quailites, but I feel like since I'm overweight, I'm not pretty one bit no matter how many people tell me so. I always give advice to others, but I'm not quite sure why I don't take my own. I love myself and my family, but I really am praying that once I lose weight, most of these insecurities will disappear. I've always felt like the only person who felt this way. Throughout middle school and high school, I've always been the largest one, with no one to relate to. The friends that I have may be a little overweight but no where near as large as I am, causing me to feel very uncomfortable discussing my feelings with being overweight.

On a not so negative note, 23 days to go until Structure House and I'm very excited and ready for the challenges that will be ahead.

I finally have a confirmation date for my arrival at the Structure House.  I'm driving down to Durham, North Carolina which is about nine and a half hours from where I live. I'm set to leave the 23rd so I can be there for check-in on the 24th. There's so many emotions I'm feeling right now. I'm so scared and nervous, but at the same time, I'm completely excited. Finally I can start the change of my new life.

A little more than a month ago, I had no idea how much my life would change. The whole Dr. Phil experience never even occurred to me until about four days before I left to California. I was in Ocean City, Maryland when I got a call from my dad about the possibility of me going on the show, but he kept telling me not to get my hopes up because there was such a slight chance it would even happen to me.  When I was leaving Ocean City, I got a call from my mom telling me that I was leaving the next day. I was speechless and had no idea what to expect.

Looking back on the show, I'm amazed that I actually got up on stage. I've never been a particularly loud person, and I usually kept to myself around new people. In this case, I only knew one person, which was my dad, who I haven't been with for over an hour at a time in about five years. Another good thing that came from this experience is that my dad and I definitely bonded and had a chance to talk. We were both very nervous about the show so that brought up an easy topic for us both to discuss, leading in to conversations.

Anyway, as Dr. Phil started asking questions, I felt more comfortable, and I just kept thinking, this is my only chance to help so many overweight teens, so I just spoke from my heart. My biggest challenge that day, was when Dr. Phil asked what it was like to be an overweight teen. That's when I just wanted to shut down completely. So many things came to mind, but for some reason I just couldn't say everything and there wouldn't possibly be enough time for me to list all of them. People that make fun of overweight people, really have no idea whatsoever of the different struggles. Every day since I've been on the show, I keep thinking about all the things I could have said. So here's my chance to say them.  My mom and I were painting my room about two months ago. I really wanted to do the ceiling and the parts of my walls I couldn't reach. So I asked my mom if I could use the three step ladder we have. I expected her to say sure and hand it right over. She just kind of paused and didn't say anything. I gave her a weird look and she said "Jenn.. the weight limit is 250."  My thoughts were, I'm only 17 and I'm too fat to use a ladder? My mom's words just played over and over in my head. Just the tiniest things can affect you so much. I have to buy special plastic chairs, or else the legs start to bend and wobble. And yes, I have had a chair break on me. A lot of people see that stuff in movies and in comedies. Those things happened to me in real life. It's the worst feeling in the world. Also, I can't even take a bath without feeling completely uncomfortable and being squished.

That's not even skimming the top of some of the struggles of being overweight. It's just so horrible to have society take those things as a joke, when really that can really scar someone's emotions, especially a teenager's. On another note, I'm leaving for The Structure House in about a month, and that's when my new life begins. I can't wait for it, and I still can't believe that this whole experience is happening to me. Its definitely something I never in my life, expected to happen.

If you read my prior blog, you might be curious what different events occurred that primarily led to 100 pounds of my weight gain. This only happened over five years from when I was 12 to now. When I was in 8th grade, I was 12 years old just turning 13 in October. My grades had slipped a lot and I was hanging out with a much different crowd than before.


I met my first boyfriend in 8th grade. He didn't go to my school but he was dating one of my  friends. Once they broke up, him and I started talking on the computer. We decided to hang out one day, and we became best-friends. He was like the world to me.  He was 16, three years older than I was. My mom stayed out of my business a lot more than my dad did and he absolutely hated me hanging out with an older crowd. Everyday he would say that they have more experience in things that I shouldn't know anything about. Now that I look back, I realized I should of listened to him, but what teenager wants to listen to their parents? That's when I discovered cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Before then, besides my grandma being a smoker, I didn't even associate with anyone that smoked. I can't put all of the blame on this one person for me giving in to peer pressure, but he definitely also had this stuff around. Eventually, I put my  guard  down, and began trying all this stuff. I didn't see it all as a big deal, but when my dad found out, he flipped. He printed out every conversation I had on my computer and thousands of pages of my personal life were exposed.


After that, my dad read them all to my mom and called the cops.  When this all happened, I wanted nothing to do with my dad after that. I just started disobeying what he told me to do, and I rarely ever wanted to come home. I would come home, but while I was there, I didn't want to talk to anyone. Since I was always out and about, I usually only ate fast food and sat around with my new group of friends.


My relationship with this person was not healthy one bit, but I just thought I was in love with him. What I thought was love was really abuse. He told me who he wanted me talk to him, and be around. I listened to him. I left all of my friends that I had before, and just focused on him. Over time, we hung out everyday. We would bring me to Florida, Bermuda, and all these different places, and whenever I would tell him I wanted to break out with him, he would just throw that back in my face. The relationship just got worse over the years. It started off with him yelling at me over the smallest things, then it led to him pushing me, and eventually him slapping me and hitting me. It took until about 6 month ago, for me to learn to stay away from him. We tried to be friends after that, but I just couldn't trust him, in fear that some of his old actions would come out again. I always noticed a trend, whenever I was sad, I would eat more.  Which was most of the time. I was too scared to leave the relationship and when I tried, I would just get threatened every time.


I'm so happy that I'm now out of that position, and that everything is starting to look up for me.  Now, I don't drink or do drugs. One habit I still have is smoking cigarettes, which I'll work myself off of in time.  Right now, I primary want to focus on losing weight and I do not feel I'll be able to quit eating what I love and stop smoking at the same time.


Last night, I heard from the Structure House. It was mainly a contract of what their expectations of me are, and how long I'm going to be staying there. I'm going to be there for a month, then I'll come home so I can adapt to what my new life will be like at home. If I want to go back to further instruct myself on proper eating and exercise, then I'll have to be home for a month before I can do so. There is still no set date of when I'm going to leave, but they have assured me it'll be shortly after my 18th birthday which is in late October. I'm so excited and anxious to begin this long journey, I know it's not going to be easy, but I'm up for the challenge!