To Understand
 
"Lost with no map"
 
I know its an old subject.

Families with drug problems. But here I am wondering what exactly I did wrong. My son for the first time in 37 years hit me. It wasnt a tap, as his fist landed against my temple, I looked in his eyes and thought he is trying to kill me. Saying that he wanted to do this since he was 8, wishing that he had for it might not have dropped me like he did. Wondering how anger could have escalated to that degree in such a short time. Laughing and joking around a short week before. I was always there when he needed me, and this time not. Because he threatened to kill me and tried to with that one punch. Then the story comes around the block that I pulled a gun and that is why he hit me. My one and only child, now severed from my life like an amputee looses a limb. I have been removed as his mother, and now my grandchildren are not to be a part of my life. I cry , I yell and there is nothing I feel I can do.

Any words of insight would be appreciated. 
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