#Neversaynever #depressionsupport #seekhelp

2 suicides in 12 days here. Reeling. towns too small for that.  
"Sad Glad"
let it be forever so I may be separated from the harshenss of such a cruel life
Well, it's been MONTHS since I've cut myself, thought my therapy was going well - and I guess some days are just too bad.  This was,  however, the deepest I've cut but the problem with this is that: I'm scheduled for an AICD REMOVAL the first week of March :-

This week I found out that the "contracted phychiatrist" that Alaskans have to use (in Southeast at least), I lost.  Our Native Health Center had disagreement of terms so his services are discontnued.  That pissed me off, I'd been seeing him for a year and a half and we were getting places and I was able to understand more and get that external view I needed, and now he's gone.  $%$$

So I"m nervous about my surgery and what to to next - If I had the $$$$ I'd use Dr on Demand, right!  LOL My cut is healing but itching like crazy. I could manage it better if it were a NEW TATTOO!!!
Not when it comes to play time. This was around the 4th of July a couple years ago, when the youngest was maybe 4 years old. We ALL love spray string! So my daughter and Iearned to buy them by the case! =D We had a spray string war and when we had used all our "ammo", my youngest granddaughter was picking up, well, we all were but she got particularly quiet so I asked if she was okay.
"Look what I made you Gram!" She proudly announced handing this to me. 'I made it into a heart because I love you!" Now WHO can resist that??!!
Believe it or not, I was a youth leader in our Church when I was in my 20's and my daughter was little, I would invite the teens to my home during the summer especially when I knew they just needed a place to chill. Well, ONE particular day it was pretty hot out and my daughter wanted to play with the squirt gun, she must have been 6 or 7 at the time, so I got her a squirt gun (mind you there were about 10 teens there also); added water to said gun and off she ran to attack! Well, mahem (sp?) ensued as teens ran to the toy box looking and finding more squirt guns!!! And plastic cups and whatever held water.......I let them go on....defended myself a couple times (probably more than a couple) until we started slipping on the very wet floor! Needless to say, all I had to do was toss a little more soap on the floor and MOP - never had a cleaner floor!
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