4 days in and so far, it's been terrible!  Well, it's been a rough start this year.  We've had so many deaths in our little 1,400 populated comunity and it is just too much in one month!  2 suicides, 2 natural causes, 2 lost at sea within the past 10 days.  I'm not kidding :(  

I've been so stressed, strained, sad, mad, confused all at once and in multiple intervals.  Yes, I've seen my psychiatrist and she's increased my valium out of necessssit.  Increased mood swings, increased intrusive thoughts, increased suicidal ideation.  It's taken a few days of adusting the meds but within the past 15 hours I've felt a marked difference in my mood. stopped threatening divorce and "up and leaving" ..... unless of course we win a gazillion dollars, this will be home base :)

Though the Coast guard has susspended it's search for the two men, though they found the turned over skiff and a life jacket (at a different loction) - at least that gives our locals an area to seach.  Being an island, this is not the first time that we've lost people to the sea.  We have a Memorial downtown with names, *including my grandmother* .....these past several days have just been painfully sad.  that doesn't even completely convey how intense my feelings are, but that's the best I can describe - intensely sad.