I am very horrible about putting myself down. I do it everyday and I cannot control it. I have bad anxiety and my past literally haunts me. I was bullied & cyberbullied to the point I almost ended it. I have a hard time coping because I grew up in a home where everything was drunken hell. We were verbally abused and my dad doesn't remember being that way. Years later, my mom was starting to mess around on my dad and I was dragged into it-again. I was always dragged into my parents problems I never got to be a kid, because of them (not,using as excuse because your parents are suppose to pay for your homeschool if they CHOSE to pull you out) I lost all my homeschooling and they were both to selfish to help their only girl. Not only that, I left with my mom when she filed for divorce because I was so scared of my dad and past experiences with trying to leave (he chained up our cars and block us in). My mom met with her side lover the same day we left!!! She didn't care of my hurt and fear! We drove three hours from home to her sisters, I wasn't allowed to talk to my dad and she put a restraining order on my dad and sais those things. Then the next day,  she dropped my cousins and I off at the mall so I could relax and not have so much hurt (16 at the time) and she told us to call her when we're ready. We sat there calling/texting her for hours and finally my aunt picked us up. When we were leaving the mall I saw my mom's car sitting in the parking lot with all my belongings and medication THAT IS MY LIFE SUPPORT because I have autoimmune diseases. My mom finally snuck in my aunt's house at 3am like she was a teenager again and she was mad at me for being upset with her. Long story short I moved in with my dad and then he turned me into his maid(cooked, cleaned, paid bills, etc), verbally abused me, called me unforgettable names, and then kicked me out at 17 for a woman. My self worth is gone. I ask myself why everyday. Why couldn't I be better? Why couldn't I have not been born? Why don't they think of me? Why am I so worthless? Why don't my parents love me like I love them, even after all this, I still love them? Why is my heart so big it just gets me into hurtful situations and I'm just sensitive. I have no friends or family anymore now. My life has fallen apart and I have no guidance or role models. I need help. I have no friends or blood family who care because of them.I have a lot of hurt still that you can't get over
Dr. Phil: "She's going to open up a can of whoop-ass on you."
To conquer my horrible anxiety and get my life back order after being abandoned without worries!
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