To Whom It May Concern,
       I'm not even sure how to write this.  It just really got to me recently.  I've been putting up with this for 12-13 years now.I am talking for (I'm sure ALL the handicapped or disabled).I am now a 33 yr old single mother of two children,,14 and 3.    It all started in Feb.1997. I was a happy 22yr old ,soon to be married mother of a boy who was
 1yr. I had such big hopes,then All the sudden my whole body went numb.   I had a bloodclot on my brainstem. So I got rushed by helicopter to The University of Pennsylvania.Doctor Zegar was my doctor.I had the bloodclot removed and I'm really not sure how but got Bacterial Spinal Meningitis.The Doctor saved my life I was nearly dead.My family recieved a call as they were sitting down to Easter dinner  And were told to come to the hospital and say their goodbyes.
   As you see I am writeing this.I'm ok now.  So after all that I spent 4 months in the hospital.  And after that 6 years in a wheelchair,oh and I forgot to tell you my happy family never happened..I guess he thought I was too much WORK.Now I feel so unattractive to any guy and if anyone tries to be nice I just think they feel sorry for me.So I kinda shun them away.
Well anyway back to the wheelchair     I was in that for 6 yrs. My mother and Step father helped me alot,,My uncle,brother,sister.Theres more that I cant think of right at this moment.
 I use a walker to walk. Its been 7 or 8 years now. I 2005 I guess I was feeling desperate.I met this guy online.He was great    made me feel so good about myself.I ended up pregnant with my 2nd child,I was so scared cause I'm already haveing a hard time with just one   yet alone two kids now.Now its three mouths to feed my son is now 14 and my daughter 4 in March of 2010 And myself.
My daughters father left cause his mom said to. He was 34 at the time. He only seen my daughter once,in her almost 4 yrs. I dont recieve support from her father cause I dont want him to have any rights to her. I dont want to make him be a father.He dose'nt even know her birthday even though I called to let him know the day I had her.He wont sign the birth certificate cause he says its only a piece of paper.

As for my son ,, his father is around and now would do anything for me.I'm not really sure why,,,maybe cause when I needed him the most he took off and maybe feels bad?. I have no idea.

Well the reason I am writeing this is to see if I'm the only disabled/handicapped person going through what I'm going through........Theres alot to say Well I'LL start with the bulb that went off just yesterday.

I recieved a letter from my Doctors office.Everytime you have a doctors appointment and I dont show up even if i call n say im not comming Its 25 dollars.I have to give them 24 hr notice.OK Thats fair but not for us that cannot drive and depend on other people,and they just dont show up to get you for your doctors.  Example.....A while ago I had a dentist app. And was waiting for my friend to pick me up I was waiting at my door so I can go out when I seen her.....Well my friend has LUPUS She called at the last second and got really sick in her car on the way to pick me up.So she wasnt comming,,I called my dentist and They told me that now I'll have to pay 25 dollars. Its all my doctors.And the city transportation,,will take me and one of my kids.I HAVE two under age children.I cant leave any of them home. And I do not have the money for a babysitter.Or a cab I might add.

My daughter is in school this year and I(the mother)have to cross my busy street with my walker and my 3 yr old , to put her on the bus.and I being her mother have to go back in 5 hrs. and get her off the bus....Now I was at my doctors in July.Asked about a motorized wheelchair. cause that way I can cross the street faster and go around snow piles.   They had the nerve to question whether I really was handicapped! I could'nt believe it after 12-13 years  they had the nerve......They dont sit here and cry cause they can't take their kids to the doctors,or sign up for any sports cause they dont have the money for all the taxi rides I'd need for practices.I cant afford a newer car for OVR to help me with.  My 14 yr old understands but Then blames me and Its not my fault.I just know when my daughter grows up shes gonna hate me too but I'm doing my best.

For those who ask Why dont you better yourself? Well let me tell you.....1st of all,, I dont drive or have the money for a cab or babysitter.2nd  I have to be here in case one of my kids schools call that something is happening with my child.Then if I have to get them I call around to every one I know til Someone can do it for me.3rd I cannot write good or as fast as others  my hands are very slow now. My speech is messed up sometimes.I start sluring my words I guess if I get nervous.I cant stand too long to be a cashier.Then I thought of a job at Walmart being a door greeter. Well then that thought went downhill cause If you see something out of the ordinary I think you have to go check it out.I cant just say hey you the one stealing that gum.....Come here and let me see your reciept.lolWell if theres anything anyone can think of then please let me know.I am afraid to do work on the computer cause what if I get a bug or virus?  I don't have the money to get a new computer.

I would love some help cause I think I'm at my wits end.