What do I really want from a man and relationship? I have asked myself these questions so many times during my lifetime. The three years that I was off and on the Dr. Phil Show, I remember the most important thing that Dr. Phil said to me; he told me to "never settle". That has really stuck with me during my career in relationships. I admit I made so many mistakes, like settling and marrying a man that I had a baby with, big mistake! Just because you have a baby with someone does not mean you have to say, "I do". After finally seeing through the haze and realizing, I deserved the moon and the stars I got smart and decided that my happiness is important too. So after all my failed relationships and one failed marriage you could say I was a little bit love bruised. After some time by myself without a man, I wrote a notebook full of things that I wanted and that were important to me in a relationship. A few of them were I wanted my man to have a valid driver's license, a job, I wanted a man that thought I was a princess and treated me like one, I wanted honesty, I wanted compassion and humbleness, I wanted a man to love my children and treat them the way they deserve, with love and affection. Most importantly, I wanted a man that really wanted a family and was willing to try to work hard at making a family work. I was not willing to settle on any of these qualities. If I am going to be happy and my children happy then we all deserve a "good man". Being alone really helped me to be able to be with someone. I hate being alone and I think that, that is the main reason for so many unsuccessful relationship, by learning not to settle. I hope I have saved myself from more heartbreak. My closing thought, what do you really want in a man? Be realistic, but do not settle. Remember you are beautiful and you deserve to be loved the way you want to, so do not make excuses why you cannot have what you want.

One of the things I am mad at Dr. Phil about is that I wish he was a little more compassionate toward me personally. You all can call it whining or complaining, but when you've gotten to know Dr. Phil on the level I have it makes the whole "star- struck" thing kind of disappear. I mean I have known DP for a little over six years and we have formed a relationship not just for television but off screen as well. I just feel like he is "picking on me." I guess you could say I am a little jealous because he has not been very "soft" and I do not care what anyone says I need a "soft" place right now. In addition, he tends to be lenient on my sister; I guess she knows how to work him.

When it comes to the bloggers, they are entitled to their opinions so I cannot really say a whole lot. I have noticed, however, that there are some very bitter people in this world. I guess people feel like they can hide behind the keyboard and screen while judging others and making harsh comments. Yes, I have made mistakes and yes, I did put myself out there. Remember I put myself out there to make a difference and how can I make a difference if I'm fake and not the real me; a lot of you say I should lead by example well I am, you all get to see firsthand what my mistakes have cost me and the extremes I have to go to rectify my choices and the outcomes. If my children were not important to me, I would just be sitting on my butt doing nothing. Instead, I am doing everything possible to prove my parenting ability. So please remember to be considerate when writing your "comments" because I need help, that's been established, and right now I need support and prayer.

My mother is one of a kind. My mother has done a lot for me and I will never be able to thank her enough. She held my hand through two pregnancies; she has been there for me when everyone else walked away. Even though my mother always told me she loved me, I have always felt like a second-class citizen to her. Through those hard times for me and my mother, I felt that she felt that she had to do these things and that they were a huge pain in her butt, which I'm sure they were, but regardless I am her daughter, her family, her flesh and blood. I am sorry if I am not perfect, but please show me one person who is. My mother has demons of her own. Everyone does, mine just happen to be ones that I cannot hide, and wouldn't want to. My problems and poor judgments have made me who I am, and I am damn proud of the person I am today. I am honest, caring, loving and trustworthy. I have wanted so badly for her approval, for her affection. I have spent the last ten years trying to be "good enough" for my mother, to be what she wants. My mother is a completely different person than the woman the world see's on television. My mother can act very cold and harsh and constantly rubs the things she has done for me in my face. She is constantly making fun of me to her sister and friends telling them I am fake and such, acting like high school girls with nothing better to do than to put someone down in order to feel better about themselves. I feel like such a black sheep when it comes to my family. I admit I am no peach and I argue with my mom and have said mean things to her as well. I just want her to notice me, to love me, and have a relationship with me. I have to say I am jealous of what my sister and my mom have, they go to lunch and talk like girlfriends. My mom has always accepted my sister with open arms. My mom and sister are exactly alike which I am sure is a factor in why they get along so well. I am like my dad in so many ways and I can't help but feel like that factors into my mom resenting me as I feel she does. People can say what they want and they are entitled to their opinion whether they are right or wrong, but this is how I feel and I felt compelled to share my thoughts and feelings with you all.

I have been a guest on the "Dr. Phil Show" for a little over six years. My mother contacted Dr. Phil when I was fifteen and pregnant, the show continued to follow us off and on ever since then. Recently I contacted the "Dr. Phil Show" again because I needed help getting a divorce from my daughter Leilah's, father. Asking for help has never been my forte'. I consider myself very prideful and it has proven to be damning at some points in my life, but I managed to swallow my pride and ask for help.

Many people think that television is glamorous and exciting. It's not; it's hard and stressful. I do not want to be a movie star or be rich; I just want to be normal, really I do. I guess I felt like if I reached out and used the resources that have been so graciously provided to me then maybe I could help and make a difference in someone else's life; someone who may not have the courage or ability to ask for help. I mean truly I don't like going out in public and sharing my deepest, darkest, secrets with a nation that I don't know. I needed help and I did what I could to help my family and myself. In my opinion it takes a lot to do what my family does, we put ourselves out there for you people to judge and let's face it ya'll aren't always supportive, which is your right don't get me wrong.

Dr. Phil has helped my family tremendously, we haven't always followed his advice, but we have definitely learned valuable tools to promote healthy behavior. What really bothers me is when people think that they know everything about my family when they don't; they only see what we choose to share with America, and then judge us and make rude comments because they think they are better than we are. We share our lives because we want help and want to help other people. We are not perfect but at least we can feel good about asking for help and attempting to make a difference in someone else's life.

Dr. Phil's Parental Legacy Exercise

Our parents have a powerful hold on us throughout our lives. Recognize how your parents and your childhood may be impacting you. Find out how your past could contaminate your future, and then you can make conscious decisions to behave differently. Envision your mother, then father, good or bad, happy or sad.

In the presence of your Mother:
Complete the sentence, "What I got from my mother I did not want..."
What I got from my mother I did not want was the sense of wanting to fix everyone. All my life I've been around people I feel like I have to fix, like I can change them into what I want them to be, and I know my mom is the very same way.

Complete the sentence, "What I resent about my mother..."
What I resent about my mother is I truly feel like she loved me second best to my sister. I've always felt like she favored my sister, I feel like no matter what my mom will always have my sister's back.

Complete the sentence, "What I love about my mother..."
What I love about my mother is that she has helped me take care of my children. The fact that my children matter to her makes me love my mother.

Complete the sentence, "How my relationship with my mother contaminated my marriage..."
How my relationship with my mother contaminated my marriage was because I felt like I had to be with Leilah's father because of Leilah, like my mother choosing to stay with my dad because of my sister and I, I felt like I had to do the same thing.

If your mother had one minute left in this life, what would you tell her?
If my mother had one minute left in this life, I would tell her "I love you mom, I tried to be everything you wanted me to be. I wish I could have made you proud of me, I wish that I could done things to make you say "that's my daughter." I wanted your love and approval so badly. I wish I was what you wanted.

In the presence of your Father:
Complete the sentence, "What I got from my father I did not want..."
What got from my father that I did not want was pride. I am very prideful and I suffer greatly from that, I would rather fail then ask for help.

Complete the sentence, "What I resent about my father..."
What I resent about my father was the way he said hurtful things when he got mad. He used his words like weapons and I think I suffered greatly from their blows as a child and as an adult.

Complete the sentence, "What I love about my father..."
What I love about my father is that no matter what I do, he still tells me he loves me. He and I may fight and say mean things to one another but at the end of the day, we can't stay mad at each other, it's like he understands me more than anybody, and I love him dearly for that.

Complete the sentence, "How my relationship with my father contaminated my marriage..."
How my relationship with my father contaminated my marriage was because I felt like my dad always hated Chris, like I never got his approval to grow up and be a "big girl" I always felt like daddy's little girl and no one would ever be able to take care of me like my daddy.

If your father had one minute left in this life what would you tell him?
If my father had one minute left in this life I would tell him, Daddy I love you, you have always been there for me, no matter what we argued about, I was still your little girl. You loved me when I was un-lovable and you helped me when I was un-helpable. I will always be your little girl and you will always be my protector and encourager, thank you so much for believing in me.