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I am sure many parents have heard their children complain one of their siblings is your favorite child because you do this and don't do that.  I love and treat both my daughters for who they are, as individuals, not as the same person.  What I do for one daughter may not be right for the other. My daughters, Alexandra and Katherine are certainly no different.  Alexandra and Katherine have rarely ever been in need of anything.  I find it most interesting whenever I am engaged with one daughter; the other becomes desperate for my attention. I must stop, drop and roll to her immediate need, if not, then, obviously, I love the other daughter more than her.   I hope they can see this when they are older. I certainly hope Alexandra can see this now, as she is supposed to be raising two children herself.


I love Alexandra very much. I am disheartened to hear she thinks I do not love her. Perhaps this is her way of trying to get my attention. Occasionally, I find this thought of hers very interesting. Alexandra must have no idea that so much of my time, energy and money (two pregnancies, one pre-term labor, boyfriends, cars, and a wedding, etc.) are given to her was because I love her. Nathan has lived with Marty and I most of his six-year-old life. Leilah also lives with us now. I suppose, caring for Alexandra's children does not count as my loving her...


This brings me to my real concerns. Alexandra is quite focused on negative comments and the irrelevant: what I think about Tony, I do not like where she lives, or that I love Katherine more than her. Better yet, I am more concerned about her children, Nathan and Leilah, than I am about her. I feel frustrated when Alexandra throws out all these ridiculous accusations.  She is trying to divert attention from the true problems by focusing on petty, unimportant issues.


Let me be very clear about Alexandra's boyfriend, Tony: NO, I do not like him. I think he is uneducated, and unemployed. I think he is insolent, self-centered and lacks ambition, at almost 24 years old; he owns absolutely nothing - not a phone, or even a vehicle.


I made so many mistakes raising Alexandra and Katherine. I feel very guilty about their issues as adults that are a direct result of my poor parenting.


Dr. Phil helped me realize how important it is to articulate my feelings, rather than lash out in anger, making character assassinations, so I can feel better for 30 seconds.


I want Alexandra to learn these things now. The expense of waiting is too high for her children.
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