The time draws near; Alexandra's baby will be here soon. She is still somewhat conflicted about this new little life. Alexandra understands she has two small children who desperately need their mommy and perhaps the idea of caring for a third child completely overwhelms her. I see how much Alexandra loves her children. She has worked very hard to comply with and compete the many tasks she must finish to regain custody of Nathan and Leilah. She loves her children very much; she loves Nathan and Leilah with all of her being.

Alexandra puts on a very brave and stoic face, but I worry. I think she is anxious about HOW she is going to provide for three small children. Like most parents, Alexandra loves being able to give her children special toys and gifts. I want her to realize, before it is too late, her children really want her - not stuff. It is wonderful to be able to give children stuff. I think the reality is that any child would take his or her parents physical presence, time and love over a toy any day.

Financial security and/or lack of money are huge issues for my daughter. Not having enough money puts stress on any one. I worry Alexandra does not truly understand the future means longer than next month's rent.

Alexandra is so young; her own needs often preempt the needs of her children. She knows this and she also knows she is to put the needs of the baby she carries and her small children before her own. She knows she is supposed to look out for her children's well being. Yet her own survival skills overtake her and she finds herself trying to cope without a good support system.  (Please note: Alexandra has a great support system available to her, should she want it.  Dr. Phil has provided nearly unlimited resources for Alexandra. One of them is counseling for Alexandra and me together.)

I do not think Tony is a good support system. He is an emotional child himself. How is Tony going to deal with the sudden influx of three busy, needy children? What are Tony's coping skills? My limited conversations with Tony were disconcerting.  I am not sure Alexandra would even be with Tony today if she were not pregnant with his child.

As I write this blog, I sound like I know what I am talking about; as though my profound insight will cause Alexandra to suddenly say to herself: "Wow! Mom really knows what is best for me and my family! I better stop everything and follow her orders!" The reality: Alexandra has to figure all this out for herself. We all know I should butt out! Butt - I won't...

I see Alexandra as my ten year old little girl, facing the world with enthusiasm and optimism. I am heartbroken to see her so distressed and unsure.  I want to swoop her up, give her a million kisses and hug and make everything all better!
Showing 1-1 of total 1 Entries