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Wow! We have a lot going on today as Dr. Phil catches up with Marty. Bridget, who recently appeared on Dr. Phil, is a young woman whose mother chose a detrimental lifestyle over her own children. Bridget makes a very emotional plea to Alexandra. Her candid message speaks truth from her heart. I hope Alexandra can hear what Bridget is saying.

I am thankful Dr. Phil is able to meet with Marty face to face and talk with him about our daughters and grandchildren.

Marty is the kind of man who likes to get things fixed - quickly - and move on. He has been working very hard to listen, understand and influence Alexandra and Katherine. I think Marty finds both of our daughters very frustrating. Occasionally, we experience a small flicker of hope with Alexandra. She appears to truly understand what Dr. Phil is saying; when our hopes are dashed as she makes excuses for her poor decisions or denies her poor choices ever happened.

Dr. Phil's comment regarding Alexandra: "I think she has an involvement with these guys who feel safe to her, because they don't require anything from her." Dr. Phil's observation makes perfect sense. I was never able to understand why she chose the particular caliber of men in her life. It is obvious now: Marty and I did not require enough from our daughters when they were young. Now, they do not require enough from themselves.

Marty and I realize the mistakes we made with Alexandra and Katherine. Dr. Phil helps us by giving us better parenting and relationship tools.

Every day, Marty and I work on making our home a peaceful, safe, sanctuary. We are not  "The Cleavers"; we get it wrong more than we get it right. However, at the end of the day, we review what we did well and what we can do better. We recognize our own errors and we take responsibility for our actions.

Marty and I grateful to Dr. Phil and his staff for all the help he has provided for our family.

We take one day at a time.

Talk with you soon,

Erin
Comments
Replied By: proudmomof1 on Sep 20, 2010, 4:42PM
Erin,
I applaud you and Marty for everything that you continue to do , but how do you stop Alexandria from just having more kids? You are taking care of 3 of her babis already. When do you and Marty say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! and for what it is worth, I'm GLAD you changed the babys name. Another Tony--you did not need.
 
Replied By: suem1205 on Jun 3, 2010, 11:33AM
I don't know if this is the right place to post, but all I can say is hopefully this Dr. Phil Family is done, but, with your history, I doubt it.  I can't believe that amount of time and resourses that must have been GIVEN to you and your family - and look at you - no better, still the same.  Oh, no - now Erin is pretty and just happened to mention that she would like to look fresher.  Isn't that how you got everything from Dr. Phil, you and your family - just mentioning it?  I can't believe that you were rewarded with trainers and plastic surgeons - daughter pregnant at 14 - great and now you're raising her children.  Just like Dr. Phil says - past behavior is the best indicator of future behavior.  But then again, you've gotten everything you wanted - poor Erin.  Where were you when your girls were growing up?  You know there are how many thousands of people who REALLY needed Dr. Phil's help and your children used and abused everything that that man and his staff tried to do for them, and you allowed and enabled them to do it.  Do you really think that Alexandria and Katherine - especially Katherine are done staying out of trouble.  Given them 6 months.  Hopefully, Dr. Phil will realize that he has wasted his time with all of you.
 
Replied By: whitedog on Jun 2, 2010, 1:09PM - In reply to emptygirl2
I couldn't help but want to speak with you. I had a difficult childhood also. I grew up in an alcolhoic family and we put the d in disfunction. However, what I would like to share with you is that I believe we chart our lives. I have always gone out of my way to be nice to people hoping they would be nice to me. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. It took me 40 years to realize that each and everyone of us came here to learn with God for God. I am not going to start preaching but instead I am going to share my beliefs and see if they make any since to you. If you take a different approach instead of seeing yourself as a victum allow yourself to think for a minute that you actually choose your mom just the way she is or was because you wanted to use the experience to learn more about human relationships. Think of all that you have in fact learned that you may not have learned had you lived a different kind of life. Then think about how you could share your knowledge just as you have with Alex and maybe prevent another person from living as you did. If you have negative thoughs you invite negative energy. I want you to try for one week to only see the positive. Catch yourself and turn your thoughts around to something positive.

Lets say you work with someone who you just can't stand. Whatever they have done lets take another look. You say that people don't like you. Could it be that you present yourself with an I'm going to get them before they get me attitiude? In other words if you expect someone to not like you then you close the door to any other options. Because of the terrible things that were done in your past you could be putting up a wall keeping good people and bad people out. I get the most joy out of giving-whether it be time, money, knowledge or something I notice someone needs. I never give with the idea that I will get any more in return than knowing I did a good thing.

When we chart our lives we are on the other side surrounded by love with no negativity. We come here to these cumbersome bodies with all kinds of options good and bad. We also chart themes for our lives to help us learn. What do you think your theme is? Some kinds of themes include Hunmanitartian, Winner, Loner, Activist, Perfectionist and many more-16 altogether. Always remember if there was no bad times we wouldn't know there were good times. its easier to let anger consume you but anger is one of the worst emotions as it goes no where good. Be glad that you saw what your mom was doing and stopped the trend. Think of how much better your siblings were because they had you-even if they don't recognize what you did. You know in your heart you tried to help and that's all you can do.

Father God and Mother God love each and everyone of us. If you ever feel like you are all alone its because here on earth you aren't surrounded by everyone the same as when you are in heaven-our true home. There there is only love with no negativity. Mother God is the miracle worker so when you pray ask for her along with your angels. Ask them not to give you more than you can handle.

I would love to be your friend. I am here if you want. Pick a topic and I will help you find the good. Evil is always followed by good. Sometimes you have to look a little harder. Take Care-Cheryl
 
Replied By: yleniatolstoy on Jun 2, 2010, 8:09AM
I hope it all works out for you and Erin.  I see two caring parents.  I don't really see how you two have much to blame for how Alex is behaving.  I see a father and mother who are shouldering too much of the burden and blame which is really not yours.  Compared to all the weird people out there in the world,  I see you two parents as really good people who had a stroke of bad luck.  Don't take what Alex is doing too hard on yourselves and try to enjoy life a little. 
 
Replied By: hopeful01 on Jun 2, 2010, 1:55AM
what exactly was it that you were warning Marty about in your blog entry. It seems that he is doing the best he can especially seen as his life is for public viewing. Most men I know like there home life to be private and I would just like to congratulate Marty for hanging in there when most men would have given up by now and left. I have 3 daughters and it is hard and I know you are doing the best you can cause it can't be easy for you either, I just seems that your husband tends to get a raw deal from people for staying out of the public eye as much as he can. Our children will and do make lots of mistakes in their lives and it is our job as parents to be there for them when they fall not to demand they live their lives as we think they should. Nobody's perfect and we all make mistakes we just need to learn from them unfortunately it takes some people longer to do this than others. Hang in there the both of you all you can do now is be good for each other and your grandchildren cause they are the real victoms here not the adults.
 
Replied By: justme95632 on May 29, 2010, 7:16AM - In reply to canadianwoman
I don't like the thought that Alex's kids will be raised by you.  Since you did such a wonderful job with yours.  How can they turn out any better.  God bless those kids and what is in for them in the future.
 
Replied By: mott101 on May 28, 2010, 4:33PM
I saw Marty talking to Dr. Phil and was taken back when he said if Tony harmed Alex or the grandchildren, he couldn't hide from Marty.

Where was Marty when the grand daughter got the bruises on her neck?

He said he has never met Tony.  I think he should have been a father, met him and explained what kind of behavior was expected for his daughter and grandchildren.

Marty talks a good talk but doesn't show any action.
 
Replied By: emptygirl2 on May 27, 2010, 7:02AM
 Please read my story, and ask Alexandra to read my story, maybe I can help with another point of view from a neglected child grown up. 

My mother had 3 of us too, with 3 men, and I was the oldest, with a younger brother and sister.  None of her men stuck around very long.  We had the druggies, the losers, the deadbeats, the anger issue men, you name, my mom chased it.    I was left often to care for the children alone, from the time I was 8 or 9.  We were left at an abusive babysitter all the time, overnight, so mom could be with her men.  The babysitter beat us, I begged my mother not to send us there, I couldnt bear seeing my little sibling beat, but the baby sitter was cheap, and mom wanted to be with her man, so i lost.  If i saw the babysitter hurting my brother and sister, I would provoke her, so that she would hit me instead.  My sibling were MY babies, and there was nothing I could do to protect them.  We had no grandma to protect us.  My mothers whole family abandoned her (and us) because of her choices.

We lost everything due to these men, We went to school dirty, in smlly clothes, dirty socks, because the money was better spent on what the deadbeat men wanted.  I was never interacted with, or engaged in activites. the TV was,(and STILL IS) my best friend, my babysiter, my entertainment, my escape.  I was touched and kissed by one of the boyfriend.  i was terrified, and told mom.  Mom said "oh stop it, he is just being nice."...I lost any feeling of love, or connection for my mother that day.   I have seen my mother perfoming oral sex on men, buying gifts for men while we had nothing, and chosing to spend her free time with THEM,, instead of us. AND, she moved us all over the country all the time, so I never made any real connections with family, friends, anyone.  I could  go on and on about the choices my mother made, but the point is the I have no relationship with my mother now.  I hate her.  She is dead to me, and I dont want that for Alex and her kids.

I am an empty person.  I have been diagnosed with Borderline personality disorder.  I have no friends, and no family.  No one really likes me, because I cant get along with people, I hate people, and they hate me.  I trust no one.  I judge people harshly.  And I will never forgive my mother, because she never was a mother. She chose to bring us into this world, and then didnt care about anyone but her own stupid needs. 

Alexandra, please dont let that happen to you and the kids, they dont deserve it, and men come and go, family should be forever.  I wish I had one.
 
Replied By: srnty42day on May 27, 2010, 5:42AM
I am so happy for you. I see alot of myself in you. I have 2 daughters and the oldest 20 has had some problems while I with wrong men, pregnancy,drugs. My youngest is 12 , but while I was focusing on saving my oldest daughter from an abusive man, I forgot that the yougest one needed me too. The yougest started acting out a little, but we are all in counceling now, including me. I am a doer and I usually get done w and have back problemshat I set my mind to. I have neglected myself. I am overweight and have back problems. I am trying to get my back issues taken care of, but it's hard because I am always in pain. I hope I can find my way to better health. I am only 46 but I feel much older at times. Bih Hugs! I hope you get this. I would like to talk to you more. I live in arizona and work the PD. I see you want to visit the Grand Canyon. Stope in and say Hi if you ever get this way. 
 
Replied By: mmileto on May 26, 2010, 9:39PM
Hi Erin,

l am from Australia, a place on the map that you guys over there, call,The Place from Down Under.

l have been following your story and your family on the Dr. Phil show since it began 6 years ago, and l think you and your husband Marty are amazing couple putting up with such disruptions in your family. 

l know you can get through all this, please don't give up.  Life can be very tough sometimes, l should know that.  l have been divorced for 25 years now, and it hasn't been all easy for me either.  l have two grown up adult kids, a boy 33yrs and a girl 31 who l adore.  They both have great jobs and my boy has two great kids of his own now too, who l also adore.   lt hasn't been easy raising my two on my own, however, they have turned out great adults.  l'm sure your two girls will realise what great parents they have too one day. Hopefully sooner than later. 

Hang in there!!!

Maria

 
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