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2010 Shows

(Original Air Date: 12/08/09) Are you in over your head with parenting? Do you need help with an out-of-control child? What do you do when your child’s demands exceed your resources? Jennifer and Brad are struggling to parent two of their three daughters. The oldest, who is 13 and has bipolar disorder, has been in therapy since age 6, spent time in two treatment centers, is taking multiple medications and still throws several tantrums each day. Despite treatment centers and medications, the couple’s 12-year-old daughter struggles with behavioral disorders as well. They worry that the pre-teen’s violent tendencies toward them and her 9-year-old sister will continue to escalate. What are the alternatives for this family, so the girls don’t have to be sent away … again? Plus, how old is too old to have a child? Join the debate!

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: brownie927 on Jul 20, 2010, 7:28PM
My son has thrown tantrums like this; however, he was much younger when he did. He is 10 now and the tantrums still happen, but ... The way we nipped it was to send him to his room and then LEAVE HIM ALONE until he worked his anger out. What I noticed was these parents continued to engage with this child!! IMHO, this girl was doing it for the attention. Negative attention is better than no attention. I wonder what would happen if they just left her alone in her room instead of continue to talk to her and engage her in conversation and her yelling about whatever she is upset about. She yelled that she is never alone. Well, let her have some space!!! Leave her alone! OMG! My psychologist helped ME learn to disengage from my son during his tantrums. Kids don't come with a manual. I once thought my son might be sick, but through therapy for myself and learning to control MY reactions and disengaging I figured out that I was encouraing her behavior.
Next part of the video shows the parents BERATING the child. BACK OFF!! I sure don't think you should stand there and shame her or throw guilt at her. Dr. Phil did point out that the mom shouldn't be doing this, but he excused her because her coping skills are taxed to the very end. MOM AND DAD NEED THE THERAPY  TO LEARN HOW TO COPE.
I could go on about this, but I am so upset that these kids have been shown to be the sick ones when I think mom and dad would have benefitted from parenting classes early on in the life of their children.
Very disturbing was watching the take where mom talks to the middle daughter about being mentally ill. She is labeling this child and now the child thinks she is mentally ill. Wow! Mom tries to defend herself about this and says she has tried to give them tools.
I feel bad these kids are on medications. In my opinion if mom and dad had better skills initially, maybe the kids would never have been on medications. There was a very interesting book put out by a psychologist who talks about what effect all of the mental illness medications have on kids and adults alike. It is a good read. I think it was called Medication Madness, but I am not sure about the title.
I had to turn this show off 1/2 way through as I was so disturbed by how these children were labeled and medicated. Someone should take a second look at mom and dad. I mean, who stands over their child throwing a temper tantrum? Walk away and take the audience away. No attention often corrects the behavior! She would see no one is watching her and she would settle down sooner. This is all my opinion and I obviously don't know the full story, but I really, really, really think there is a problem with the parenting style.
Replied By: janeeh on Jul 20, 2010, 2:23PM
I just saw the show which I believe was a re-run regarding whether or not to committ your kids.  The family had the diagnosis of Bi-polar for two of their daughters.  I am extremely concerned about the many medicines their daughters have been on since they were small.  Dr. Lawless showed how they can relax and suggests metal toxicity tests.  Think that's great.  But my heart breaks every time I see these kids which I believe are for the most part born "normal" and devleop behavior problems and start on a roller coaster of drugs which never get to the root of the problem.  These girls could be allergic to food, cleaning products, had a bad reaction to vaccines, metal toxicity, the list goes on.  Have you ever seen the work by Doris Rap?  Her work was done many years ago and I wish someone else would expose what she tried to.  I have a friend whose daughter was a normal little girl, started developing some problems and attempted suicide.  She was comitted, is now back home, but on tons of meds and doesn't act at all normal.  She seems stoned the majority of the time.  I would love to get the girl some real help and am friends with her mother, but her excuse for not trying some natural help is money.  The drugs and doctors are covered by insurance.  The other methosds are not.  Whether it's ADD or Bi-polar, our children are being drugged way to often.  Can you do a show on this please???  If I gave you my friend's contact info, she would be a great one to have on the show with her daughter.  let me know, thank you, Jane Hobaica.
Replied By: dtbrock2 on Jul 20, 2010, 1:33PM
I have long respected Dr. Phil for his ability to speak to topics on his show as well as offer helpful advice--however! this show really upset me as to how Dr. Phil handled this.  Dr. Lauer did not fix these children in that green room and the label comments are not helping our society who are dealing with this issue in our homes.
I was introduced to Bi-Polar in 1999 when a child of mine first attemped sucided with a knife at the age of 6. Later to have another child at the age of 12 diagnosed with the disorder.  I have spent years studying, finding resources, and proactively parenting my two children who have been diagnosed as bi-polar. The frustration of weekly visit to therapist and psycharist and daily regiment of drugs and foods require much energy and devotion from all in the home. I have also constantly reviewed behaviors exhibited in four areas -is this normal for the age development, is this due to my parenting style, is this disorder related(cycling up/down) or related to the timing or dosage of medicines. Based on that we react and deal with behaviors.
There comes a time where the child even with all the elements of a perfect world or storm the child's behavior are out of our control and the safety of the child, others in the home, or our home is at risk. The resources are not avaliable for Mental health children/young adults as it is for cancer, heart, diabetic, retardation, autism, or other health conditions.
 We are not neglecting our parenting roles but there is a point as to which we have reached were no matter what we do we cannot repair, fix, or even duct tape a childs behaviors.

Dr. Phil-- I feel you did not give justice to these parents whom I saw myself in on that show. I have committed my children and are currently dealing with one child having to leave our home and state for our safety. Revisit this show.
Replied By: trakay83 on Jul 16, 2010, 10:16PM - In reply to eggurl
Let's see, I was spanked and beat as a child....didn't work for me.  I don't even speak to my father, all I do is resent him.   A parent knows when a kid is just acting out and when a child has other issues going on.  Sometimes if you educate yourself on these disorders it might help you understand it better.
Replied By: edshawn on Jul 16, 2010, 7:09AM - In reply to sweetleaf1234
Munchausen Syndrome By Proxy.....
Replied By: edshawn on Jul 16, 2010, 6:58AM
Munchausen syndrome by proxy .... ..... Classic example .... no REAL tears from parents, children dressed to look "sickly", all sympathy going to parents, parents seeking attention by going on TV as "victims" ... can't believe no one has diagnosed this .... Child Protective Services need to remove the children, put them in a "normal" home, explain to then that they have been "labeled" incorrectly, and give these young girls a change to live a normal life.  This was the SADDEST Dr. Phil Show I've ever watched ..... I'm a nurse and we are trained to spot this in the hospitals ..... this is a NEW different twist on Munchausen's by Proxy however, using mental illness labels versus making your child physically ill on purpose ........ Someone PLEASE step in and help these girls ...........
Replied By: traumatic on Jul 15, 2010, 11:36PM
Again you folks need to do your others have stated...these conditions were non-existance 30 yrs ago...and they also didn't know then what they know in a way science has been great to advance knowledge in mental-illness and the real cause...but it's a double-edge sword because now science DEPENDS on pharmacudical companies to foot their the more clients/patients they send the more money the doctor gets or not pays in has come to money now folks...and again we have technologies and sciences to may be GO BACK and look at what old-school did for these problems...

And don't let the kids intelligence intimidate you...they really do love you and want you to RECOGNIZE their talents...and then DISCIPLINE it with HARSH but LOVING words...ask old school...doesn't someone remember Great Grandma being a great cook and loving but God help you if you messed up?

That kind of environment is PERFECT for children...HIRE old-school...they might want to assist you? They have a global network of folks who have experienced this and what they did and what you are doing is two different things...obviously what they did worked because they are fine and the kids are now retired as well from the work world and raising children...


ASK THEM !!!!!
Replied By: eggurl on Jul 15, 2010, 8:56PM
My original post is sitting in cyberspace somewhere so I will just make a quick general comment.
As another person stated, THERE WAS NO SUCH THING AS THIS KIND OF BS WHEN I WAS A KID.  It's a NEW AGE thing so that everyone can relieve themselves of true parenting and let the medications do what they won't do.  SPANK THE KIDS - the kids on this show were nothing but a couple of SPOILED BRATS THAT NEED THEIR BUTTS SPANKED AND NEEDED IT FOR MANY YEARS.  Obviously, parents in these days and times for the most part think that time-outs and medicating kids are the answers to true parenting.  I'm glad I fought the schools and refused to drug my child up or down just so the teachers didn't have to do their job - TEACH.  Return to the ways of the 50s and 60s education and parenting and there'd be a whole lot less of these BS diagnoses and not much in the way of toxic chemical drugs being pumped into children.  No wonder society has gone to Hell In A Hand Basket!
Replied By: litebulbmoment on Jul 15, 2010, 4:16PM
they labeled their kids mentally ill like it was candy.
Replied By: painthorses1 on Jul 15, 2010, 3:18PM
I am manic/bi-polar and believe you me, it is not easy for some of family.  My husband stands behind me no matter what I going through at the time.

I have been on all kinds of medication.  My doctor and I spent a lot of time in figuring out what medicines worked and what did not. 

Depacoat is a seizure medication and certain foods and other things do not need to be mixed with them.  Also, when I was on Tegratol, which is a seizure medication, my doctor checked my blood work every six months to make sure I was not receiving enough or too much.

I was put on Seroquel for a month.  I went to the doctor because I was having such vivid dreams that seemed real.  Maybe they need to talk to the girls and see if this is happening with  them.

If they are interrupting your family as much as it seems, you should put them in a home that deals with this problem.  You have other family members that need attention. 
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