2009 Shows

When Dr. Phil last tackled the topic of the other woman, the debate got so intense, he kept the conversation going! Sarah Symonds, leader of the online group Mistresses Anonymous, and Steve Santagati, author of The Manual, return to share their secrets of why some men are unfaithful. Then, Melvine, a former guest who says she was cheated on, challenges Steve’s views. Find out why she thinks he should stay single. Plus, a woman with 11 brothers gives insight into why some men stray, the audience takes Steve and Sarah to task, and a woman dating a married man wonders if she should wait it out or hit the road! Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: jenevieve3 on Jan 22, 2016, 4:13PM
I'm 70 now, so it ain't no thing to me.  In my younger days, however, I had several relationships with married men, with no guilt.  I don't think my rationale was illogical.  In my mid-20's, I faced that fact that I was not going to marry a sexy and successful man.  The women these men married were pretty, defined as having good skin and regular features, traits with which these pretty women were born, and for which they could take no credit.  I, on the other hand, had bad skin and irregular features, for which I could take no blame.  I did act on the one thing I could control - my weight.  I starved to stay thin.  I wanted the handsomest, smartest, nicest  men, the same kind of men the pretty women desired.  Through no fault of my own, I reasoned, I could not have these desirable men as husbands.  But through my own efforts to maintain a desirable body, a pleasing personality, a sense of humor, and an ability to listen, I could have these men as lovers.  And I did. I loved a few of these men, and they loved me.  I broke no vows.  I didn't do the pursuing.  I enjoyed with all my heart the men I loved in the role of "the other woman."
Replied By: enigma123 on Mar 10, 2010, 8:52PM - In reply to justsomechick
I totally agree that this woman was flirting with the bad boy the entire time that she was on stage! I dont think that she can help herself! He is attached .....so she was after him!! Grow up Sarah and grow some integrity because your pathetic! I bet that when a married man tells you the popular line that "my wife is very sick" you cant help but offer a service to him there and then!! It is really obvious that you have a very low opinion of yourself but stop justifying your behaviour as a learning tool for other women and stop advising people about serioius matters while you are the most insecure pathetic unstable person who has no boundaries or common sense when it applies to moral virtue or even the insight to see that you cross the line even when you are infront of millions of people!!
Replied By: milly86 on Feb 5, 2010, 3:14AM
How can the fact that a man is missing a spine and is so morally corrupt that he thinks having affairs is ok be the womans fault? The mistresses are just as bad! If you think its okay to sleep with a man who has a wife or is in a relationship you are worth less than the filth on the bottom of my shoe! The "people" who support such lies and backstabbing have in my mind no morals. If you are not happy in the relationship you are in then get out don`t go behind your partners back. Be man/woman enough to stand up and take the consequences of your choices! To the cheaters out there: if your partner fails to make you happy, can the reason be you and not your partner and will betraying your partner make you feel better or will it just strip you of any morals you think you might have had, any respect you deserve and the sense of pride you had of yourself.
Replied By: justsomechick on Jan 5, 2010, 12:46PM
Sarah is obviously attracted to steve and she makes it clear to him that she is availabe to him with her flirtatous comments, even though she knows he's in a relationship. She proclaims to advise women(mistresses) how to get out of and avoid the dead end relationships of married men yet she is persuing this man.
Then she has the nerve to blame the wives for not pleasing their man the way she could, she feels that she would make them happier than they would be with their wives, she is so arrogant to think that she is somehow better than the wifes they already have.
I've been the other woman before but when I found out they were with someone else I ended it because I wont be the other woman, I want to be the only woman.
I feel sorry for the woman that steve is involved with because he would cheat the second she cut her hair or gained weight.
Maybe all women should go for the "chubby chasers" so wives dont feel threatened but skinny b****es...lol
Replied By: unbiasmind on Dec 30, 2009, 3:55PM
Not all men cheat. Some of them know right from wrong. When you stood in front of God and family and said you will "Cleave only unto him/her for as long as you both shall live." it wasn't because it was a crazy day, or you just felt like it. CHEATING is WRONG by any standard. The men who DON'T cheat are those who seperate the MEN from the BOYS. Grow up first, then get married.
Replied By: aprilnwa on Dec 16, 2009, 12:29PM
We may not want to believe it , but most of what Dr. Phil guest was saying is very much true. As  a woman our first instinct is to blame the other woman who is involved with our spouse without realizing our mate is really the one we should be upset with, not her. I'm not saying I agree with everything they were saying,but much of it was worth listening too.

Also, I feel Dr. Phil was being ridiculously rude to his guest especially the woman. He kept cutting her off mid sentence, at one point stated she was being stupid by making such remarks. Even if it's true don't have her on your show if that's how you feel.
Replied By: jameys on Dec 15, 2009, 12:38PM
I love watching these infidelity shows. (Not in all situations), but I love it when the fat chick gets up and yells and screams at the beautiful women on the stage. "You stole my man!!!" Come on, in most cases, if he gets what he needs at home, he doesn't need to go somewhere else. I have short hair, I don't want a woman who has short hair. Manly instinct, long hair means fertility. Don't believe me, go look it up. It is a fact. Now follow me here. Women, you know I am right on this next fact. Does the pot bellied man catch your eye, or the sleek, toned up man? Ok, well if I am going to look, it is also going to be at a thin hot woman rather than the tub o lard. Also, human instinct. I believe in marriage being between two people forever.  Women want ambitious men with some get up and go. Well, we men also want a little effort from you as well. Go out on a limb and spice things up a bit. Take care of yourself, and show us a little respect. Trust me, you will be glad that you did.
Replied By: babigerl on Dec 14, 2009, 5:49PM
Ladies, I didn't really hear Sarah Symonds or Steve Santagati saying they think men's behavior is acceptable when they cheat.  What I heard was them saying, "this is why men cheat, this is what you can do about it."

I hate that men cheat, but getting angry at the mistresses for doing with our men is useless.  The mistresses are not cheating on us, our men are. The second we blame another woman for what our man does, we're screwed.  There will always be a prettier, thinner, smarter etc woman out there who might go after our man. 

The truth is that if we've let ourselves go, or we're a constant nag, it makes it easier for men to cheat.  I AM NOT SAYING IT'S OKAY FOR MEN TO CHEAT!  Don't crucify me like you did Sarah.  I'm just saying that those are the facts. I can't be angry with Sarah Symonds, she's obviously unhappy with her past choices and is trying to do what's right for her.  You can get mad at her all you want, but are you going to spend all your time being mad a woman who your man may cheat with, or are you going to shut up and listen to what we can do to perhaps stop it in the first place? Stop whining and listen!
Replied By: dagrad on Dec 14, 2009, 4:08PM - In reply to lauren1998
what you are saying is true.  However, what you are having a tough time understanding is:  that guy...is helping out those same ladies that you think don't find him attractive.

He was saying what most guys say when they are with their male buddies.  And trust me, I know he wasn't planning to hook up with one of those ladies, because the truth HURTS...and that's why guys never say those things he said. 

He is 98% right that is nasty when a lady cuts her hair short.  Its is also nasty when a woman puts on weights.  these are facts that men don't say it ......but its there.  trust us!
Replied By: dagrad on Dec 14, 2009, 3:51PM - In reply to jessicarenee
You are a good lookin young lady with beautiful long hair....pulease do your best to stay this way.  I mean...guys are pretty reasonable when it comes to loving the girl they met.  But someone themselves go...and put on more than 40lbs and cut their hair short......as a guy...it really does suck!  But of course, I am speaking about both sexes.
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