2010 Shows

(Original Air Date: 11/19/09) Are your extravagant ways about to send you to the poorhouse? Dr. Phil explains the five biggest financial mistakes you could be making. Brad and Yvonne had a 3,200 square foot house, went on expensive vacations and hosted lavish parties for their friends. Now, they say they live in a trailer in Yvonne’s parents’ backyard. In spite of their dire financial straits, Yvonne says her husband still wants to purchase a $1,800 watch! What’s behind Brad’s urge to splurge? Can the couple ever get out from under their mound of debt? And, the economic downturn is even forcing the wealthy to downsize. Dr. Phil talks to Vicki, Jeana and Lynne of The Real Housewives of Orange County about how the cash crunch is affecting them. Find out what happened when Jeana asked Vicki to borrow money. Plus, a top Hollywood divorce attorney shares some of the top mistakes women make when it comes to money and marriage.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: lapodo on Jun 8, 2010, 4:59PM - In reply to growingup40
If your husband should leave you, you're screwed.  Grow up and be aware of your families' finances for your own and your children's protection.  You would also be setting a good example for your kids.
Replied By: noname30 on Jun 5, 2010, 3:50PM - In reply to biigg53566
You say that your wife works 3 part-time jobs, so why aren't you working any? It sounds like you don't have a paying job at all. Do you do anything around the home to contribute, or do you spend all day "networking" and sleeping in while she busts her butt to make ends meet?
Replied By: hancheyr on Jun 4, 2010, 10:41PM
My husband and I have 3 biological children (girls) that were far from "perfect."  Once our girls were pretty much grown we decided that we still had a lot to offer and we wanted to make a difference in some kids lives, so we began to foster to adopt.  We got our first placement on July 2, 2008, a wonderful, beautiful little boy.  Our guy was 15 months when he came to us and was home the very moment he entered out home.  We could not love this guy more if he were our biological son.  He was with us for a full year when we adopted him.  He is truly a miracle and blessing to our entire family.  About a month after our baby came to live with us we took in an older guy.  We never wanted to take older children knowing that they would have more problems that maybe we were not ready to deal with, but we were (I feel anyway) wrongly contacted and asked to take in this older child.  When they are telling you this guys sad story how could anyone with a heart say NO??  They know what they are doing!!  This guy was 11 when he came into our home.  Of course, we experienced the "honey moon" time with this child.  He has Reactive Attachment Disorder and who knows what else.  The county he came from was not interested in doing any evaluations of any sort until I told them that I would not go forward with an adoption until they did what they needed to do.  After the evaluation I let his CASA and Case worker know that the evaluation was not correct.  They were not interested in doing anything about it!!  We did go ahead with the adoption on the advice from all the case workers, etc.... involved telling us that this child's bad behavior is to be expected and will settle down after the adoption.  Well, it has only gotten worse! I would like to think that I could NEVER send a kid packing on an airplane alone, but I know all to well how these kids can just push buttons you didn't even know that you had.  It is a very sad situation.  I don't think ANYONE can judge until they have lived what the TN family had lived. I read a post from a lady who said she didn't want to "save" a child she just wanted to be a mother.  Well, I think we should send that little boy to her!  Let's see how she can do!!  I would love to speak with her in 6 months to a year.  She is clueless and judgmental....shame on her!   I myself have called DHS and said that I needed help and they said too bad.  I signed on the dotted line and he is mine.  I said I would call the police because he was out of control and aggressive with me and they said they would tell the police not to help us.  The very sad thing is that you know that these kids have potential, but they would rather create any problem that they can.  In the last month he was mad at me because he didn't get his way and jumped out of the 2nd story bedroom window and ran away.  We called the police on him.  Today he got mad at our 3 years old guy because he accidentally messed up part of his puzzle and hit the child on his bare back and then lied about hitting him.  My little guy told me exactly what happened and I KNEW he was telling me what really happened.  There is 10 years difference in these two children and I have to protect my baby.  The very sad thing is that IF we can get John out of our home this will too have a negative affect on the younger child.  I would just love for people not to judge others until they have walked in that persons shoes.  We cannot know what they are dealing with.  These kids are GREAT at what they do!!  I KNOW that her decision was a very difficult one and her guilt must be so great and then to have people saying such ugly things is unforgivable as well.  Does anybody care about her well being.  These kids can break up a marriage like I have never seen.  They work on dividing families.
I just hope that people will think before they judge!!
Replied By: teachertina on Jun 4, 2010, 9:10PM
Brad needs to leave his adolescence behind and become the grown up that a husband and father is expected - and required - to be. There is nothing charming about his little boy desire to own a multitude of toys and silly watches instead of providing for the primary needs of his wife and children. While times are certainly tough, it is clear that he did little to prepare for a rainy day.
The husband who is admired and respected by his spouse and children is the "man" - not boy - who accepts responsibility for and puts the needs of his family first. Time to grow up and man up, Brad. Be the leader of and example for your family that they want you to be...and that you probably want to be, too.
Replied By: growingup40 on Jun 4, 2010, 8:45PM
Really people, is this normal for the majority of the population??? "Common, sensible, usable and informative." I believe that is what Dr. Phil said.... I don't find any of these people any of these things....  Dr. Phil, I am living what you and Robin lived probably 20 or 30 years ago.... My husband of 10 months makes me the most beautiful flower arrangements from what is growing in our yard in "ARIZONA"  including anything he can find that is "Pretty", including weeds with blooms....  I am so grateful for everything we have today, especially after loosing our 60k car, 280k home and pretty much everything thing else that we worked 80hours a week for...  We went from making 130k per year to 55K between the two of us and it is the best thing that ever happened from the stand point of I am know FINALLY doing what I was affraid to do years ago and applying for nursing school.... this being said.... am I the only female who was offendended when it was brought up that we should know everything about our husbands finances??? I dont want to know... I think 100 woman should be brought in and hooked up to a lie detector and asked the question " Do you think your husband should be the provider and you should care for you husband, kids, home, etc...."  I think we as wives and mothers have been ripped off!!! We want to be Wives and Mothers.... Not financial advisors and PROVIDERS! I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR.... I WANT TO BE A WIFE AND MOTHER... nothing more... Sorry  Dr. Phil. but I think you are headed in the wrong direction....
Replied By: heartofgrace on Jun 4, 2010, 4:30PM
Great Show today. Two and a half years ago I was injured when a young man ran a stop sign and hit my car. This caused brain damage and I was no longer able to work as a Real Estate Broker. My $50,000 investment into my business was just one aspect of my loss. My point is, never take it for granted that things are going to continue to go great. Sometimes bad things just happen beyond your control. For your guests who find their self worth in the things they own, I would like to make a couple of suggestions. First, each person is valuable just as they are. If you would like to feel better about yourself, look for someone who is in worse shape than you are and help them somehow. Do you have something you could give away that would be a big blessing to someone else? Give it away, it will make you feel good. Also, living with peace of mind is worth so much more than any posession. I am speaking from experience. Even now as we are facing the possibility of being a one vehicle family because my car was never repaired correctly after the auto accident and my husband and I have spent $9,000 trying to get it back to being reliable,(and it is in the shop again, but we have decided that if the repairs will be more than a couple of hundred dollars we just wont repair it) we would rather be inconvenienced by having only one vehicle rather than being stressed over bills. My husband and I sat down with our children after we realized I was not going to be able to go back to work and we told them exactly how things were. We told them we would have liked to be able to buy them vehicles and do fun things but that we were going to have to pull together as a family and instead appreciate each others company instead of just buying affection. Our kids have had to make the best of a challenging situation, but they have handled it with grace. They know they are loved and we have all appreciated the fact that I was able to invest more time in their lives. Be honest with your kids, let them know that you love them and would love to be able to spoil them, but that they will gain so much insight and preparation for adulthood that it will actually benefit them in the long run. As we are now 2 1/2 years down the road, we have made tough decisions and really lived carefully with our finances. We may be squeezing into our little tiny pick up for awhile, but we are stable financially and we will be able to pay for college when our daughter graduates next year from high school. It will be worth all of the sacrifices. It is worth it to be able to sleep peacefully at night. If you are struggling with finances decide now to make the changes necessary, the sooner you get started, the sooner things will get better for you.
Replied By: misha1 on Jun 4, 2010, 3:47PM
please pay off your debts before buying anything else.  every debt you leave unpaid means that those of us who pay all of our bills are paying more.   In essence, you are not only stealing from the credit card companies, you are stealing from others who use credit cards appropriately, as well as the businesses which have to pay higher fees due to your negligent spending.

Replied By: marnie100 on Jun 4, 2010, 2:49PM - In reply to ggtate
I leave my designer purses at home when I go shopping.  I like to shop without a phony retail person following me around with their toungue hanging out.  When I'm ready to check out I find the least aggressive person to get my commission.  Or I check out at socks to give them the commision.  People are funny.  I sure the woman with the 40 purses did her share of sneering at the people without one.
Replied By: conflictedsoul on Jun 4, 2010, 2:18PM
I am a financial mess at the age of 41. I lost my job and had the opportunity to return to school. I will complete my degree next year. i once had good credit, but have borrowed from Peter to pay Paul for many years now and it has just gone down to being ridiculous. It's been about three years since I have been able to afford to pay my old debt. I don't buy anything now that I don't have cash for---I cannot because I couldn't get credit now anyway. I have many judgments against me for not being able to pay. I spoke with an attorney who told me that I would be a good candidate for bankruptcy after completing school. My husband was hurt many years ago and now gets disability. Our family of four lives on about $900/month. I have looked for a job that is close to my home because I don't own a car and couldn't afford one anyway. I have applied for many jobs, but am told usually that I am overeducated or overqualified. I don't feel that I am too good to work at a fast-food restaurant. I have applied there too, but wasn't hired! I don't know what to do. It is just beyond ridiculous. I have gone into therapy from clinical depression because I got to a point of wanting to be dead (not suicide, just gone). Who is going to hire someone in financial ruin? That attorney told me that I am not alone, but I sure feel like I am. I cannot afford to live where I do and cannot afford to move.
Replied By: lubodt on Jun 4, 2010, 1:55PM
I find it hard to believe women don't know the financial health of their own home.  To me, it is irresponsible NOT to be aware of your financial status.  Hiding behind a husband and a marriage is no excuse.  Did they ever live independently?  I was taught at a very young age to save for a rainy day and never live beyond your means.  My parents lived through the depression and we lived accordingly.  I never wanted as a child and knew the value of a dollar.  My Dad always told us that education was key and don't expect to start at the top.  Work hard and you will be rewarded.  He was exactly correct.  My parents were school teachers and in retirement earn more than most people do as a yearly salary.  This comes from wise decisions made with saving and investing money.  My Mom ALWAYS knew the cash flow of our household and she did the budget.  My Dad was her partner and financial decisions were made by mutual agreement  They own 2 homes (paid for of course) and have plenty of rainy day money.  The second home was purchased in the early 70's in a beach community so we always had a place to vacation.  My Dad was a "jack of all trades" and did his own property maintenance, etc. No one was 'given" a car, we all had to share the family cars.  We all learned how to manage our money and be financially responsible. These women need to wake up and take responsibility for themselves.  They need a financial makeover done by their financial planner friend!
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