2010 Shows

(Original Air Date: 11/04/09) Whether it’s in school, sports or hobbies, all parents want their children to succeed. But can a competitive spirit go too far? Ronda says she wants her 10-year-old daughter, Brianna, to become a baton twirling champion. She says she makes Brianna practice two hours a day, gets into arguments with other baton moms and has spent  more than $15,000 on costumes! Her husband, Thomas, says his wife’s obsession is causing major problems in their marriage. Can Olympic gymnast Dominique Moceanu give the controlling mom a wake-up call? Then, Corey says his dreams of becoming a champion speed skater came to a halt when he tested positive for steroids at age 13.  His father, who says he injected Corey with the drugs to give him a competitive edge, is now serving six years in federal prison for the act. Now 20, Corey says he hasn’t spoken to his dad since his arrest two years ago. Can the young man forgive his father and learn to trust him again? And, is Corey’s career over for good?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: housewife52 on Apr 3, 2010, 3:16AM
When my kids were young, they chose the activities they wanted to be involved in, when they were old enough to indicate what they were interested in. When they were in elementary school, there was information sent home about available activities through the rec department. My daughter never indicated any interest until middle school, in sports, then played softball for a couple of years. She wanted to take dance class in the first grade. We did that for several years. Toward the end of elementary school, she decided she wanted to be in band. She did that through senior year in high school and one year in college. My son played t-ball, baseball, wrestling and  football through the rec department, football and wrestling through ninth grade in high school. They chose these activities. We payed the necessary fees, ferrried them to and fro, and cheered them on. They did well in these activities, but when they no longer wanted to participate, that was that. The biggest rule we had was, if you start out the season, you gotta finish up the season. One reason for that was that it's better in the end to finish what you start. Another reason was, all of these activities required fees, money for costumes, money for instruments, money for this or that. If a fee was paid by us for the season for whatever...and since they had chosen these things then we didn't want to fork out money for nothing. This was my experience with my kids. It's hard for me to understand that a parent would pick out something for thier child at a young age, when the child is too young to even know what they're interested in doing, and then force them to do it. And even if the child is interested initially, and even if they show promise in the activity, but then decide it's something that they no longer want to do, why in the world would a parent continue to force them to do it? At that point, it sounds like the child is involved in the activity FOR the parent alone.It would make more sense to me, for a parent to find something that THEY themselves enjoyed doing and do it THEMSELVES. It's fulfilling as an adult to sometimes get involved in something outside the home like a quilting class or an excercise class, or cooking class, there are any number of things available through the Y or the local community college. For me, I have always enjoyed having flowers and shrubs. That was an outlet for me and I enjoyed doing it ,still do. Also back then, I sewed a lot more than I do now and that was another outlet for me.
Replied By: housewife52 on Apr 2, 2010, 8:39PM
Corey's pupils appeared dilated in his close up shots.
Replied By: dislikerofbs on Apr 2, 2010, 5:50PM
todays show 4/2/10 you spoke of your own experiece at football practice when younger..you stated  how you collapsed from heat exhustion, and was  "packed in dry ice". (dry ice temp -100 to -77 below zero)my question is simple.. is your baldness a result of the frostbite you would had recieved in less than 5 mins? ? or was that  part just hype to dramaitize your tale?
Replied By: panache98 on Apr 2, 2010, 4:55PM
 Having gone through 12-13 years of very highly competitive baton twirling, I get it. I am so glad that my parents, my coaches and my teammates pushed me to be better. I had a very strong coach who was very strict and very precise and knew exactly what she wanted. Fast forward 15 years and now as a musician, I work with some conductors who are just as strict and precise and very picky and I know exactly how to process their remarks and execute what they want without freaking out about it.

I didn't always want to practice, I still don't, but I understand the rewards when you do and how you can lose what you've worked hard to gain when you stop practicing or stop practicing correctly. If you catch a 10 year old child in the midst of practicing and having to work really hard to get a particular move and ask them if they are having fun, of course they're not!  Does anybody like to repeat something that is rather difficult over and over and over and over? No, but once they get past that move or section of music, they're glad they put forth the effort and feel a sense of accomplishment.

I can still remember the happiness I felt the first time I caught a "high cartwheel"(where you throw the baton and do a cartwheel then catch it). I felt so proud of myself. Even after dropping numerous attempts, getting hit with the baton, not moving in a straight line, I pushed through the frustration for days with the encouragement of my coach and family, and I got it. Then I did it again, and again, and again, and could finally catch them 98% of the time. At the time, I was only about 8 or 9 years old but I understood that it was the work that I put into the practicing that made it possible for me to now catch these tricks just about every time I did it. And I realized that that was what it took to get better and achieve harder, more technical tricks.

This feeling of a sense of accomplishment carried through in all aspects of my young life. I had perfect attendance at baton and at school. I was on honor roll all the time and doing extra work just to get better and push myself to be the best at what I was doing. I practiced every day and always pushed myself to learn harder and harder tricks. I would learn the routines of the older groups so that if someone quit or got injured, I could step up and fill in for them. I learned really early on to strive for greater and not be satisfied with just enough, but to always want more and work to get it. I started playing violin at age 7 and approached my instrument the same as I did with baton. I took my lessons seriously, practiced every day, and mastered the music for my orchestra class and then some. I learned to not give up when I made mistakes and to keep my eye on my goals and not stop until I reach them. I haven't stopped yet. Goals are ever-changing. Once you reach a certain level or learn a certain concerto, your standards get raised and you keep striving. I wouldn't be the person I am, let alone the musician I am today had it not been for my years spent with baton.

I competed in countless competitions, won numerous titles at state, regional, national and world levels. I know how it feels to work really hard and win titles and be recognized for my hard work, and at the same time I know how it feels to lose. I consider myself very fortunate to have had these experiences and I was lucky enough to have a family who was responsible about their spending and time away from home, being able to not only support me in baton and music, but my sister in her softball and basketball. We have incredible parents. I actually believe it does come down to them. When parents are smart enough to praise their children and recognize their hard work and effort they put into things, it makes the criticism and practicing worthwhile and more beneficial, making them more successful adults.

I'm sorry Dr. Phil, but this time, I disagree with you.
Replied By: sligocait on Apr 2, 2010, 3:22PM
I just re-watched this show; I had seen it when it first aired. I am so glad that the mother was confronted not only by Dr Phil but by two young adults who had been pushed beyond their limits by their parents and had it cost them dearly.
I was raised by a total control-freak mother and all it did was to make me want to get as far away from her as I could as soon as I was old enough. It wasn't a question of pushing me in sports, as this show highlighted, but obessive attempts to control your children is always going to result in disaster eventually for the parent/s and for the children.
We have to let our children be who they are, not who we THINK they should be or lasting damage will be caused to their senses of self-esteem that can last a lifetime. Constant criticism and pushiness only breeds resentment, insecurity and even hatred if it goes on long enough.
If you're trying to control your child, for God's sake trust a middle-aged woman who still has emotional scars from such a mother..let your child be who he or she truly is. Guide your child but do not attempt to control and dictate or, eventually, you and your child will pay a huge price.
It isn't worth it for either of you, and you cannot live through your kids no matter how hard you try.
Replied By: justgetoverit on Apr 2, 2010, 3:04PM
My heart goes out to this little girl for having this woman as her mother. She's using her daughter to to feed her own lack of self esteem.  Obviously no one had any impact  on this woman's selfish thinking.  Sad, very sad, because she will end up losing her daughter.
Replied By: hannahroxx on Apr 2, 2010, 2:24PM - In reply to dadaniels
You took the words right out of my mouth!  What is the point of achieving athletic trophy's if you're killing your children and setting them up for a lifetime of health problems and obesity?
Replied By: cpmom1 on Apr 2, 2010, 12:50PM
My daughter  was born with an exceptional music talent-both in dance and vocally.  I  love to sing, but with Cerebral Palsy, my nerves prevented me from doing very much with it.  When my husband and I discovered my daughter's voice at age 5, I was so excited. I did , however, keep it to myself and let her tell me when she was ready to do something. It was definitely worth the wait!  She got into musical theater and it has been a true joy watching her over the years. She has done everything I have ever wanted to do-cheerleading, theater, dance(showchoir) without me saying a word. She has a tremendous sense of self-"It's not who I am, it's just what I do." She told me that at age 16. She is now 25, working full-time,  doing community theater and has just purchased her first home!


Cindy Snowball
Replied By: nettervo on Apr 2, 2010, 12:45PM
      I believe pushing your child a little is a great thing. I am 23 years old. I have been singing since the age of 10. My mother worked very hard to get me big gigs. I have openned big shows for many country stars. I thank her for that. At times I didn't feel like doing it and wanted to hang out with my friends instead. Now I wish I would have done more. I don't even talk to any of the friends I had growing up anymore. We all went different ways. The best memorys I have are all the shows I have done and I am still singing to this day. I almost wish my mom would have helped me to do more. People always said she was "making" me do it and she slowly stopped doing it because of the criticism. I regret not doing more than I have done because I know I had the opportunity to. Although I do not believe in MAKING a kid do something they do not love and want to do. If it is their passion and their dream pushing them a little is something you can do to help them and motivate them. I would have never been able to make the things I have done in the past happen without my mother. At that age you do not know how to go about it and you do need help. I couldn't have done it on my own. There are people on here that I am watching who I do not agree with and are doing wrong. I believe it is for themselves. It seems like they are making their kids do things they are not passionate about. They are doing it for themselves and not for the kids and taking it way too far.
Replied By: shadychandi on Apr 2, 2010, 12:37PM
come on this is ridiculous none of us would be where we are today without some parent, coach, teacher, friend, grandparent etc... pushing us to try harder! competition is healthy and prepares us for the real world, you will not always be the best, but you should always be striving to be the best you can possibly be, and there is nothing wrong with someone giving you a push in the right direction!
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