Michelle Langley's "Women's Infidelity Complete" books 1 & 2. They are available as pdf's and explain everything about this type of situation.

Carole's affair seems special to her, but it always does to the person who is having the affair. Women who have affairs think it is their marriage that is the problem as they have been brought up to think they are inately "good" and that they wouldn't fall into an affair unless their was something wrong with their marriage. There is a big double standard when it come's to women and men and men who have affairs. Men are much more likely to recognise they are doing the wrong thing, whereas a woman will wonder what is wrong with her marriage to make her desire the affair.

And don't kid yourself. She is having a very sexual affair. Or at least she was to begin with.

Not sure what you mean by address.  My ex-husband and I have been divorced now for over 6 years.  I have not seen him since the day I left him.  I have no regrets.  It is what it is. 
I was fortunate enough to find a wonderful man who fills every possible need I have - and then some.  I love him more than life itself - and I am much happier than I ever was in my 14 year marriage.
I was just trying to make a point.  I seen right through that woman...and maybe - just maybe - she won't be as fortunate as I was.

This woman acts like a teenager with a big smirk on her face.  I honestly think she is prould of this affair.  My heart aches for her children especially the younger ones. 

Almost exactly 20 years ago my family went through this same situation.  I can tell you that no one wins in this situation.... and as the 12 year old girl... believe me she is not oblivious!  I would love to give that mom a tour of my family, showing her what her family could look like in 20 years if she chooses the wrong path.  Besides that, how selfish!  Yes, she has the right to be happy but at what expense?  Does she have the right to take everyone elses happiness away?

Lori, thank you for your honesty, and it is sad that you lost 14 years of a good marriage. Looking back  I would guess that you sometimes regret not being open and honest with your former husband. Can you address any of the pain and suffering that took place at that time? What could you have done differently and how do you handle these situations in your current marriage? Thanks from fishgolfer.

I can tell you right now that the mother was lying about the affair being physical.  She just doesn't want to be the "bad guy".

How do I know this.  I went through a very similar situation...it's called mid-life crisis.

I was 39 and lost a lot of weight.  My 27 year old married boss and I started a "friendship" that very quickly turned into "something more".  I knew it was wrong, but the fact that a 27 year old man found me attractive at 39 was so appealing to my ego that there was no reasoning with me.

At the time - I was married to my husband for 14 years.  He was a good man and treating my children from a previous marriage like his own.  But I found every reason in the world to pick apart our marriage because now that I found this "new and improved guy" I wanted out.  I told EVERYBODY that our marriage was on the rocks for more than 2 years - it wasn't - but what was I going to say???  That I left my husband for the young married guy?  That would make me look really bad.

I also said I didn't get physical in my affair until after I left my husband.  Lie.

And it didn't last.  I basically threw away 14 years of a good marriage for an 11 month fling with a younger guy.

STUPID!!!

I have since remarried and I am very happy - but I seen right through this woman's lies.
She is making a HUGE mistake - but she won't stay with her husband - she'll leave for this fling.
And it won't last.

Mark my words.

You are right about the Covenant you made to your fisrt husband if he is still alive you do need to look him up and Pray that God will restore you back to him. Even though you divorced you can still stand in the Gap for your marriage. I pray for you that he is alive. I am a Covenant keeper right now standing in the Gap for my husband Praying that he will come back to me and his kids we did not get a divorce he just walked out on us over two weeks ago and moved back in with his parents in Puerto Rico, He walked out on me and two kids but I am still married to him and I made that Covenant Commitment to him in our vows so now I am praying Daily for me and my husband that God will make us who he wants us to be in his image and that he will restore us when the time is right if it is his will which I beleive it is. I just had to reply. We all need to pray for each other.

Do you know what a Covenant is? You should not of made a commitment to a woman you knew  YOU ARE GOING TO DUMP right after your kids hit the age of eighteen. You know kids are still a huge part of your life even after the age of eighteen and they deserve to have there mother and father together until death due them part so who gave you the right to go and have these kids with this woman and then just up and dump her once your kids are grown? What are you teaching your kids by doing this. You should have never got married in the first place to this woman if you knew this was going to be your end result and you need to know that your kids would not exists for you to love if it where not for the woman you have now loving you and being your wife if you wanted an egg donor you should have went to a clinic and talked to someone about them finding a lady to have a kid for you if you did not want to have to love this woman who loved you enough to make these kids with you. You will Pay the price from God for every wrong decision you make here on earth while you are here on eath so don't think your life is going to end up being peaces and creams if you go through with this once your kids are grown I pray that you don't due this to them or the wife you are with. No one deserves that.

It may have looked like this woman was ok, but I could tell she was not.  I don't think till anyone has been in a bad marriage, that they actually know how they will act or behave.  Her husband did not say very much and did not seem like he had a lot of backbone.  He might be the kindest person in the world, but women want to know that someone is in charge and will be the leader.  She may have been very lonely for years, who knows.  It never gives anyone permission to seek someone else out, but like I said, when you get to that point, you are not fuctioning properly or thinking very straight.  I was in a similar situation and now looking back, I understand what Dr. Phil means when he says to do it right, but at the time, you cannot even think of trying to fix something, let alone letting go of the person who you have developed affection for.  It needs to be a joint effort and neither one of the parties can be lax during a marriage.  There has to be communication, caring, a feeling that you are important and cared about.  On both sides!  I had tried to change things in my marriage for many years and I still believe to this day that my former husband still thinks he loves me; however, like I said, it needs to be reciprocated to each other.  After 27 years of marriage, I was tired of nothing changing and handling everything by myself. 
My former husband told me to watch this show, thinking I am sure, that something will hit me and make me try again.  He will get nothing out of this at all for himself.

I never said you had to stay living in the same house with an abuser God Does Say to Remove yourself from that to protect yourself and your family, And turn the whole thing over to Christ and Start to Pray for your husband or the Abuser Daily that God will turn them around and you have to only by being in the Word bring yourself to seeing your husband or the abuser in the eye's of God the Same way as God see's this person and the same way as God see's Us in his eye's So like I said just because this other person maybe doing wrong unto ou and God right Now in their lives which is what the Devil wants is our relationships to be destroyed by NO Means does this give you the right to end your commitment that you made in your vows and unto God So you really don't have the right to go out and get remarried while your first husband is still alive. Please get into the Word of God More for yourself and see what God's Word says about the Covenant Commitment You made in your marriage, And if God gives you until your Death Bed to choose Him in your life Don't you think you should give the person who maybe doing wrong unto your marriage until their death bed to due right by God and you to stand in the Gap for your marriage until Death Due you Part like you said in your vows. I never said stay in the same household and let this person Kill you or your children leave but Don't Divorce and put the situation into God's Hands and Pray for  God to become your new husband and the father of the kids until God is ready to Restore your Marriage if it's Gods Will. That is what you have to Pray Daily in all of this is God's Will For your Life and Your Husbands. He Has great Plans for All of us. Thank You for your reply I hope I cleared things up some here.