2009 Shows

Dr. Phil peels back the curtain on cheating spouses when he talks to five women from the online group “Mistresses Anonymous.” One member, Judy, has been having an affair with a married man for 15 years. Why does she stay in the relationship? Plus, Sarah, the group moderator, believes wives should behave more like mistresses. Learn why she adopted this philosophy. Next, Brett, an actor, conducts an experiment at an L.A. club to see how many women will approach a man with a wedding ring. The results may surprise you! Then, meet a guest who has been unfaithful to his wife for years and says he wants to come clean.

Check out Dr. Phil's blog about this show.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: itsoverthxgod on May 5, 2011, 5:00PM - In reply to trish5959
I don't know if you still check this message board. I haven't been on it since I posted the last message. My answer is that I would like to apologize, i just think I would bring about more harm in trying to do so. Maybe now that all this time has passed, my presence would be less painful. But I know that I/we caused her so much pain that she wanted nothing to do with me. Understandable.
What happened to your is horrifying. I'm sorry.
Replied By: nadia27 on Feb 27, 2010, 6:48AM - In reply to takenwoman43
Why should the "other woman" be concerned how or what his wife did or did not do? That is not the "other woman's business."  That matter is between the man and his wife.  Every entry on this page is concerned about how the other person "feels." 

The "other woman" is taking care of her business, and the wife is taking care of her business, whatever that may be.  I don't mean to sound harsh or cruel.  But just because you are labeled "the other woman" does not mean you are a terrible person.  Women outnumber men 10-1 or more.  Why shouldn't she have the comfort of a man? What shouldn't she have someone to talk and care about? She should deny herself simply because someone else happen to come into his life before she did? 

Women need to stop worrying about the physical aspect of their marriage. That is there main concern.  I am quite sure that they are not crying and fretting because their husband is "talking" to another woman.  If he is still providing for his family, taking care of her physically, what is the problem? Sex.  Get over it.

She should focus on being the best wife that she can be. Just because he has someone else in his life does not mean that he does not love and care about her.  A MAN CAN LOVE AND CARE FOR TWO WOMEN.
Replied By: nadia27 on Feb 27, 2010, 6:34AM
Several months ago I met a fabulous man.  I will not lie and say that I did not know he was married.  We started talking and he was saying everything right.  I was divorced for many,many years, and although many men have tried to talk to me, I never had the desire to give them the time of day.

However, this  one was different. It all started to innocently, first nice conversation, then eventually we went to dinner, and before you knew it we were in a relationship.  He told me that he was in the process of getting a divorce, even told me the date it would be completed.  Yeah, right.  Well that date came and went. 

For all the people who are judging women in a "so-called relationship" with a married man, it is not so easy letting go.  Women outnumber men by a large number.  Why shouldn't the "other woman" have a man in her life? Stop judging. If she is willing to accept this relationship then let it be. 

What they need to  do is change the laws of this country so that a man can have more than one wife.    Why are women so bent out of shape because a man desires and possibly loves another woman? If he is taking care of his responsibilities in the home, why is she so bent-out-of-shape because he wants to do the same for another woman.  Some women need to grow up! and get away from the "its my toy" attitude and I don't want to share. 

If it were legal would she feel any better now that she knew was not just an affair? grow up

Women make men lie with this attitude.  It is possible that a man can love two women at the same time. 
Replied By: nadia27 on Feb 27, 2010, 5:54AM - In reply to akanksha
How do you handle the loneliness when he is not with you? Will he ever commit to you?
Replied By: missfaithful on Feb 10, 2010, 3:57AM
could not believe some of the comments made on the show!!!if you love oyur partner/husband/wife no matter if they have a bad day,not looking their best then that is all you need.yes its important to look your brst for your other half but if they dont love you or fancy you with no makeup.then they dont really love u do they???i am crazy in love with my husband and he is the same with me.whether im in sweats cleaning the hose or all dressed up
Replied By: akanksha on Jan 13, 2010, 9:07PM
I didnt really identify with any of the women on your show. I have my reasons and so does he.   Good luck to those who believe in the  whole walt disney notion of marriage, I dont.   Any questions, Im happy to answer  provided they are not obscene...
Replied By: childofcheater on Jan 13, 2010, 7:12PM
Just viewed this episode and it made me so anrgy.  I've never been one to write my story on things like this, but I had this overwhelming feeling to share what it's like to be a child of a cheater.

When I was 17 my dad cheated on my mum.  At the time we were like overseas in Austria and my mum had just had my little brother whom was 1 at the time.  Dad meet the mistress at work, and became friends.  She also befriended my mum, as mum was lonely living in a country where is didn;t know many people or the langauge.  The affair went on for a year before the guilt got to my dad and to relieve this told my mum.  My older sister and I were living back in Australia at the time, when we got the phone call.  Mum had a nervous breakdown, so my sister and I dropped everything and when to her aid.

It been a long road since that day.  Almost 10 years later and it is now affecting my marriage.  I'm happily married with two beautiful children, but I am paranoid that my husband is going to cheat on me.  The mistresses don't seem to see what happens to the family. 

I had to drop out of university to look after my mum, and I have a very limited relationship with my dad because of this.  The mistress also has two children from previous affairs with 2 different married men.  I am not forgetting that the men also make the choice to cheat but the mistresses also need to take ownership of the part they taken in affecting the lives of the children.  I don't like using words like hate, but i HATE the mistress who hurt my family so badly.  I now find it hard to trust women and men alike,

Mistresses if their married leave them alone, if they want to be with you wait until they finish what they started with their wife.  And please just be aware of how much it hurts more than just the wife.
Replied By: bridynasia on Nov 19, 2009, 4:28PM
No one on the show (11-18) said anything about how it hurts to be cheated on. How many people it hurts n how it effects the kids.
That idiot man who thought he sounded so right so so wrong. I have heard men are created that way like it gives them an excuse. There is NO excuse! Why get married if you want to cheat? It hurts. Do you get married to have someone to hurt and abuse?
No one asked if the man ever treats his wife with respect and makes her feel special. Does he ever make her want to do as he wants by being kind n helpful. Flatter her make her feel sexy and pretty the way he did before marriage.
No one asked how the man would feel if it was done to him.
The misstresses make excuses and think it sounds right. Like we help them by listening. Honey, if it wasnt for the sex, he wouldnt say a word.
Why not stay single and "date" anyone you want without hurting anyone?
Women do this too and it is the same. I dont excuse anybody.
Replied By: commoncents2u on Nov 19, 2009, 11:38AM
Just Google Sue Simmon's(?) name and Gordon Ramsay's name and you will find that she is the one who had this very long affair with G.R.! Someone probably mentioned it before but I have not read all the messages. If she thinks it is helping people's marriages, then I believe Dr. Phil should have G.R.'s wife on the show with Sue to see how it "helped" her marriage!!!!
Replied By: schultz on Nov 19, 2009, 10:37AM
I am a 45 year old, married for 20 yrs to the same man, woman.

The women on the show yesterday were mad at the other "woman" but what about
the husband??? He's the one who married you and said those vows not HER???
Let me tell you, if I ever thought or found out MY husband cheated he's the one I'm going after not her.
I'd be furious w/ him because HE'S the one in the relationship w/ me and my children. HE'S the one cheating on me, NOT her. You can bet I'd be finding her too though because she's not blameless but don't put ALL the blame on her. If you decide to stay w/ him and make it work...why should you hate her and still forgive and love him?? And it goes for any cheating spouse but I am saying her because of yesterday's show.
Also, in defense of DR PHIL, men are visual creatures. Are you doing your best w/ the time you have to fix your face or get out of the sweats and oversize T'shirt? I know, I am a mother, I am tired too and feel unappreciated at times but if you were single right now...with the same obligations...kids, job, chores etc...and divorced going out on a date...would you let your date see you like that or would you look your best? Your spouse deserves the same. Would he have married you 20 lbs heavier? I know but kids make you put on weight...but do you really need to eat that fast food or drink that coke? You say you don't have time but you have time to sit here reading my post...or did you watch The Dr Phil episode I am talking about? Then you
had time to put on something cute or put on some lipgloss and mascara.
Men you are not off the hook here either...it goes both ways....we don't like to see you w/ the remote plopped down on the coach while we are cleaning the kitchen, or helping the kids do homework...get up and put on a clean shirt and help out so we are a little more motivated to do things for ourselves. Offer to pick up the few things I need from the market and also try to stay in shape for me too and get rid of that gut and get a good haircut or shave if you want me to try to be the woman you first married.

It takes two to make the marriage work and the person who is to blame is YOUR CHEATING SPOUSE.
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