2009 Shows

(Original Air Date: 10/07/09) Do you think you know what your teens are doing at a school dance or even during the day when you're not around? Think again. A new documentary, Oral Sex is the New Goodnight Kiss, gives you an eye-opening and shocking glimpse into the world of teens and sex -- a world your daughter, neighbor or babysitter may be participating in. Middle class girls are trading sex for money, drugs, luxury goods and popularity. It's not only boys you need to warn your child about. Hear a firsthand account and learn why other girls may be the biggest threat to your child. And, you'll be shocked to learn what kids are doing at prom right in front of their teachers. If you're a parent, tune in to learn how to talk to your child about sex and protect her from falling into this trap. Share your thoughts here.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: cymbeline on Oct 31, 2014, 10:40PM
I believe most kids who judge promiscuous teen and pre-teen girls don't understand an important psychological connection between abused children and sex. Many of the girls who are involved in this behavior are confusing sex and love. Many of them never had a grasp on personal boundaries due to their mistreatment by their parents. If a girl is not receiving the right messages regarding her fragile self esteem she may be willing to do just about anything to feel accepted by her peers. So if they are sending messages like, "Virgins are losers," or "Everybody is doing it," they may consent to humiliating, degrading sexual behavior with the expectation that they will be loved. An abused child often craves love, affection and acceptance because they don't get it from their own family. So, when the act is over and their sexual partner moves on the girl is left feeling empty, ashamed and used. This adds to her emotional trauma and if she also carries the burden of being labeled a slut this can cause tremendous emotional turmoil that can lead to drug use, self mutilation and even suicide. Also, you CAN get an STD from oral sex. Herpes and HPV are both communicable through oral sex. HPV is very difficult to diagnose in males and they can spread it without knowing it. HPV is genital warts. Sometimes they are big enough to be seen with the naked eye but microscopic HPV is asymptomatic to both genders and can even sxist dormantly for up to ten years. There are many forms of this insidious virus and it has a high risk of spreading cervical cancer so oral sex may not cause pregnancy but you are rolling the dice with your health every time you engage in this!
Replied By: courtneykady on May 19, 2014, 7:38PM
I just watched this episode & throughout the entire show kept asking myself why this was just now being made public. As unfortunate as the situation may be this has been going on for more than 20 years. I'm sure I don't need to explain that I used to be one of "those girls."

"Parents" - where are you??? This is not some new generational issue that has recently manifestied itself from social media. I am 35 years old. I first had sex when I was 12. All of my friends were older than me, but not by enough years that is should have mattered. Our common thread were parents who were detached, uninvolved & too busy with their own lives/issues/problems/attachments/detachments/expectations/involvements/uninvolvements/expectations/disasters/misunderstandings/hurts/pain/history...

You are not paying attention. Your children are speaking to you, you are not hearing them. The issue at hand is not what they are doing, the issue is what you are NOT doing. 

Wake up!  You either want to examine yourself and reflect on your best creation what is amazing... Or you want to contine doing what you always do. 
Replied By: miekemaaike on May 13, 2010, 7:28AM - In reply to brpmir
Here here!
Replied By: romancecantdie on Mar 24, 2010, 7:03PM - In reply to ziggy2009
note to ziggy
 as a teacher you work short hours at least some of the time.  mothers are all working secularly.  people only have so much energy and so much time.  I agree with what you say - but we have to be reasonable. if mothers are expected to be away earning the bacon - and coming home 'late' to cook it and doing the laundry while daddy works a nice office job and then does nothing at home - there really is a problem. Children take time and energy.  we need to have permission to give our children those things rather than being bullied out of our own homes adn away from the children we love.  we need to take a very step back - in a better direction.  what happened to choices for mums and their kids?
Replied By: romancecantdie on Mar 24, 2010, 6:52PM - In reply to cera6977
If you go to the social science section of yahoo answers you will see there as well that men are more disrespectful of women than ever, yet expect much more.  There is certainly a double standard, but with another twist.  She even pays for her own dinner - sometimes his too as a thank you for all this abuse.
Replied By: b246810 on Feb 28, 2010, 4:58AM - In reply to futurehopenow
Well I am surprised you admitted to that, wow - thats awful. Why do they do it? Do they have something missing in their heads? It cant just be immaturity? I am saying this of all the girls who act out so unbelievably. Its hard to imagine anyone actually doing that.
Replied By: b246810 on Feb 28, 2010, 4:53AM - In reply to kathyscheck
My dad plays golf on Saturdays i think ill go be with 5 guys at once and have oral sex for some Doritos. (vomit) it doesn't wash does it? People just don't care its the world we are living in now.
Replied By: b246810 on Jan 31, 2010, 11:49PM
I don't know what parents are meant to do .... Dr Phil says you cannot build a fence high enough around the kids to stop them making mistakes... but then you have to have an ongoing dialog.
That didn't work for the mum who had the 14 year old "Ally." From what I could guess she was some kind of nurse or medical professional and had ongoing talks with her daughter as mentioned in the interview. So what to do? Kids having sex at the dance, oral sex parties, having to be reminded to wear underwear.... The worst thing was the girls recruiting girls as hookers then being proud of it. How can they be proud of it? Surely they must have some sort of internal voice. Even at that stage of their lives. Is something really missing in their brains or makeup? Is it a personality disorder? I know teenagers take risks and things but this seems a whole new level ....
When Dr Phil  said having sex at dances (teens) I thought, thats been happening since before your time. But for them to do it in front of teachers is another level of behaviour isn't it? They have no shame, no respect for themselves, I wonder if they have any intuition or morals.... I am not just saying that in an angry manner, in all seriousness something must be missing for them when alarm bells or conscience does not go off in their head? You would know or sense 'this is not right' Maybe they just ignore it. Either way there is no simple solution.  They want attention but thats ridiculous. No one is that attention starved.
Replied By: mamakaz on Jan 31, 2010, 7:51PM
I'm a mother of 3 daughters, one who is now 21 years of age and 2 who are teenagers in high school. I'm an American married to an Australian and I've been in Australia for 20 years. This program has just aired today in Australia, to my knowledge, and it makes me hope that Australian teens are not as far along as Americans in sexual "sophistication" (if that's what this may be called - I call it corruption).

It was painful to see how deluded teenage girls have become, to equate the exploitation of their youth and sexuality as "empowerment". And this is 40 years after the womens' movement fought for equal rights with men.

The time will come in these girls' lives when they will look back on this with regret.

Interestingly, I read a newspaper article over 10 years ago that revealed a trend for teenage girls in Tokyo, Japan, to prostitute themselves in order to buy Chanel bags and other luxury items. Their view was that this behavior was "no big deal", just as the American girls expressed to Dr Phil. This looks like materialism taken to an extreme. Materialism has become an international sickness, infecting almost every nation, and it appears that girls are very much at risk.

Thank you, Dr Phil, for this wake up call for parents. it is important to speak with our kids about this BEFORE they reach their teenage years. Also a VERY BIG thanks to Sharlene Azam for her book and film. Truth is the REAL empowerment!
Replied By: meagankivig on Jan 26, 2010, 4:13AM
Hi,I'm an American living in Denmark,so I don't get to see the new Dr Phil,so I'm a little behind on the episodes. I am married and we do not yet have children. Still,when I saw this episode about teenage girls selling themselves for drugs,money,gifts,popularity,etc,I began to cry and even shake a little.
I didn't have sex as a teenager,I can't tell you why. I did grow up in an abusive home where I never had love from either parent. My parents are still together and happily married,so at least I had that to look up to. I did,though,have a very promiscuous sex life in my 20's. I had been so afraid for so long about being used and disrespected by men,but as soon as I got into having sex,I went wild. Drugs helped this along,too. I ended up with a drug and alcohol addiction and even pregnant. Thankfully,after having an abortion,I did wake up and start cleaning up my life.
The reason why this show was so upsetting to me is becuase I know how it feels to do such degrading things with your body with men who don't know you or care for you in any way. THe feelings really hit home for me.
Teenagers have always been curious about sex,but once upon a time,you just had to worn your daughter about how boys will try anything to get in your pants. Now,it's so acceptable,"everyone is doing it". When I was growing up,only a "certain type" of girl went around having sex,oral or other. Everyone knew who they were and you could decide to stay away from them. Now,it's everywhere. Before these children even uderstand fully what sex is about,they're peer pressured into having sex with multiple boys and even men.

As much as I want to have children one day very soon,I am completely terrified at the same time. There is so much more peer pressure to have the designer named items,new technology and sex is no longer,as you said in the show,between two people who care for eachother.
I want to thank you,a million times over,Dr Phil,for giving parents and future parents the tools we will need to help our precious children to get through their lives with as little negativity as possible. While I still feel scared about having a teenager (silly,I know,as I don't even have a child yet),you have helped me to feel a little more prepared on how to arm them with the knowledge they need. I just hope that you're still around when I do finally have a teenager,seeing that there will probably be new "trends" with the children.
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