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2009 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 09/23/09) From balancing work and family to changing diapers and attending soccer games, being a mom is a challenging job. Dr. Phil has advice for women who feel overwhelmed. Erica has four kids under age 7 and says she's fed up with being a mother. She says she has no time to herself, she's tired of the tantrums, and some days she just wants to get in her car and drive off! Can the harried mom gain control of her children … and her life? Then, 15-year-old Katie says she wants to have a child by the time she's 20. She even dreams of having 10 to 12 kids one day! What's behind the teen's obsession? Will spending a day with Erica give Katie a wake-up call? Plus, Dr. Phil talks with a woman who went against tradition, gave custody of her three children to their father to pursue a childhood dream of writing a book. Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: ninahofman on Jul 27, 2010, 8:51AM
Today this show was aired in Holland, and I was shocked while watching it. I don’t understand the idea that only woman are unreplaceable as a parent. When people divorce there is always one parent missing out as in giving up physical custody. I know fulltime dads who would hate to lose their children after a divorce and I know women who work a fulltime job and who would really struggle after giving that up. Not all relationships are traditional, so not all solutions about child custody are. The girl that said Maria was irresponsible by giving up child custody because mothers can’t be replaced, was, according to me, completely wrong. Is a father replaceable? Does a parent need to be replaced once they’re not living in the same home anymore?
Isn’t the parent that wánts to be a fulltime parent, in physical custody, the best parent to raise the kids? (dependent on the way the kids were raised by both parents as a couple) Isn’t it best for the kids to be with the parent that does not rather want to be doing something else? Watching the item about Maria gave me the idea that women thinking about themselves besides their kids are committing child abuse! As if we all took comfort in the fact that after a divorce dads can’t be a good enough parent anymore, only mothers are. As if good dads are replaceable?
I guess, thinking like this is a step back and it certainly makes thinking about equal parenting more difficult.
 
Replied By: ninahofman on Jul 27, 2010, 8:49AM
Today this show was aired in Holland, and I was shocked while watching it. I don’t understand the idea that only woman are unreplaceable as a parent. When people divorce there is always one parent missing out as in giving up physical custody. I know fulltime dads who would hate to lose their children after a divorce and I know women who work a fulltime job and who would really struggle after giving that up. Not all relationships are traditional, so not all solutions about child custody are. The girl that said Maria was irresponsible by giving up child custody because mothers can’t be replaced, was, according to me, completely wrong. Is a father replaceable? Does a parent need to be replaced once they’re not living in the same home anymore?
Isn’t the parent that wánts to be a fulltime parent, in physical custody, the best parent to raise the kids? (dependent on the way the kids were raised by both parents as a couple) Isn’t it best for the kids to be with the parent that does not rather want to be doing something else? Watching the item about Maria gave me the idea that women thinking about themselves besides their kids are committing child abuse! As if we all took comfort in the fact that after a divorce dads can’t be a good enough parent anymore, only mothers are. As if good dads are replaceable?
I guess, thinking like this is a step back and it certainly makes thinking about equal parenting more difficult.
 
Replied By: louise_louise on Mar 10, 2010, 6:25PM
I have to agree with those who say Dr Phil was biased against his guest who gave up physical custody of her children to her ex-husband. During shows on custody issues, his message has consistently been that you have to put the interests of the child first and not use them as a weapon to hurt the other spouse. Yet you have here a mother who did put her children first and Dr Phil jumps all over her. Don't get that at all!

Actually, to be honest, I find watching these type of shows very difficult now, because Dr Phil just keeps blaming everyone for creating tension by having arguments etc, when often it is one particular parent - quite often the mother/ex-wife, sometimes the dad - who needs to be raked over the coals for making life difficult for everyone else.
 
Replied By: runuts on Feb 5, 2010, 3:28AM
Dr Phil, I have never seen you this biased against a person on your show.  I think you were rude and unfair in the way you treated her.  Just because a woman does not have the Earthmother attitude that seems to be expected, does not mean that she is evil?  What would you have prefered ; her pretending to want to have full time custody while she can't handle it because of whatever the case may be, or to be honest about it and let the kids be with the other parent who ALSO have their best interest at heart.  We are not living in the dark ages, get real.

As far as undisciplined kids in public (or in my house) goes -

If a parent is unable to see to it that her little monster behave, I will (and have) physically removed their offspring from whatever it is they are busy wrecking in my house and garden.  The moms are normally gobsmacked when you get upset about having your property - that you and your own kids respect - damaged. 

My kids has been taught from very young to keep their hands to themselves and say please and thank you.  They are in their twenties now and are loved by all for being all-round great people with a strong sense of self worth and self control.  They have a great work ethic and are sucsessful and happy people - no damage done by having had discipline in their lifes.



 
Replied By: penebear24 on Jan 11, 2010, 5:27PM
I was surprised by Dr. Phil's response to Maria giving full physical custody of her children to her husband. It was as if Dr. Phil was implying men are not as capable as women when it comes to raising their children. I applaud the father for stepping up when the mother admitted she was not the best person for the job.
I happen to have personal experience with a similar situation. Currently me and my husband have custody of one of my nephews (he is my brother's child). The mother has 7 children under the age of 11 and they have 5 different fathers. Several of the fathers have taken her to court for custody of their children and were denied by the courts. HOWEVER after children's services were contacted several times by neighbors and her LANDLORD, she was investigated and found to be unfit and all of the children were removed from her home. The children have experienced burns, physical abuse, mental abuse and a case of molestation but because the courts tend to rule in favorite of the mother, the fathers never stood a case. It's a shame it took this long for these kids to be removed even after several of their fathers stepped up.....and Dr. Phil's opinion of men raising their children vs the mom seems bias. He says that he is always in favor of what is best for the children but more and more it appears he is in favor of MOMS and not children. Sometimes it's best for children to live with dads, grand parents, aunts or uncles when the mom can't handle the responsibility. I applaud mothers who actually say they can't do it and allow someone else to step up, rather than keeping the children in an unfit enviornment and harming them emotionally or physically due to pride or shame. Dr. Phil please consider wisely next time you bash a guest like Maria...her kids are doing fine with their father and rather than bashing her, applaud the father for being a stand up guy that loves and cares for his kids.
 
Replied By: cadescove99 on Jan 11, 2010, 11:17AM - In reply to maxine63
I agree with you. The segment with  Maria was anything but "fair and balanced" approach. Not only was that other mother judgmental, but so was his line of questioning, especially when he wouldn't let Maria finish answering.
 
Replied By: tiggermom78 on Jan 8, 2010, 5:25PM
Obviously every woman has to make her own decision when it comes to her life, kids, etc. whether anyone else agrees or disagrees with those choices.  However, I'm curious to know why Maria is receiving all the publicity for her choices and actions with her family when it is her ex-husband who raised their children.  I would have liked to have heard his side of the story and seen him interviewed and receiving some publicity.  Just my 2 cents :)  Everyone have a great day!
 
Replied By: maxine63 on Jan 7, 2010, 8:39AM
Maria was judged unfairly. I was quite surprised at Dr. Phil's line of questioning. A couple of times she couldn't finish what she was saying. Perhaps this subject was close to home for him. We all have our issues. Twenty years of personal experience as a single mother I wish I had made the same decision as Maria when my husband and I divorced. I could write a book on the harsh judgements of women and men both. I have seen it from both sides of the coin. We need a better system set up to help guide people through amicable divorces when it comes to children. People experiencing divorce should automatically be in therapy, and assigned a mediator during the six month "cooling off period". Anyone out there thinking they have the right to pass judgment on this women has not walked in her shoes. Dr. Phil I do agree that it takes both parents to be present in a child's life, but this women made the decision to take leave as does any parent has to when divorcing. She did not abandon her children she was present. We just aren't use to seeing it done the opposite way around. Shout out to Robin on her reply to what she would do if any touched her children. I agree!!
 
Replied By: melstutz on Jan 4, 2010, 8:09AM
After having my kids back in school, I'm catching up on shows :)  I just finished watching the one with the mother who gave physical custody to her husband.  I have mixed feelings on it and will share from my own experience.  
First, if there is a reason the father should have custody, I believe that it can be an unselfish act on the part of the mother.  My own mother had me at 16 and after 7 years, she and my father divorced.  My  dad was given full custody.  It was heart breaking for me.  I felt very confused and felt judged.  Rarely do fathers have custody so it was particularly difficult for me to understand.  There were whispers throughout the community, and I heard them.  However, I do believe in hindsight him raising us was the best thing for us.  My mom had many emotional things going on and within a few years became and alcoholic/meth addict  and over the course of time had become married and divorced many more times.
What does bother me is when a mother is absent.  My mom left and moved across the country.  Our every other week visits disappeared and went to every couple of years.  I held it together well until I had my own children.  Then the world came crashing down.  It was through Christ that I was saved from the emotional pain and was able to forgive and to heal.  The wounds are healed, but the scars are still there.
I now have a very good relationship with my mother.  It isn't mother/daughter, more friend.  But she is one of my best friends.  Having walked the road I did, I could never ever give up custody of my children.  It is hard being a mother.  There are days I think I can't do it, but then we get through that day and move on to the next.  I wish all parents knew how important it is for both parents to be a part of a child's life.  If the Dad moves out, stay connected!  If the Mom does, stay connected!  When you decide to have children, you have made a choice to put their needs above your own.
 
Replied By: notwayne on Jan 2, 2010, 5:26PM
I was surprised with the continuous questioning from Dr. Phil.   I didn't understand why he was so against what she did.   I don't think she did anything different than what many men do!   They move out of the house with the divorce and continue with their own career.   She was still very active in the kids lives and they all seem to get along well.   I felt like I was missing something to the program the way Dr. Phil acted as if it was so wrong for her to do that.  Seems like an entirely different attitude when the roles are reversed........... and the men stay with the kids and the woman goes off to pursue her career.   I was disappointed in Dr. Phil's attitude about it.
 
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