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2009 Shows

 
Dr. Phil speaks with mothers in desperate need of parenting help. Tammie still struggles to change her relationship with her 11-year-old daughter, whom she finds frustrating and annoying. Could her feelings toward her ex-husband be to blame, or are there other factors? And, Tami says she’s being abused by her 17-year-old daughter, Katie, and no longer feels safe in her own home. What is at the root of Katie’s rage? Dr. Phil digs down to discover what hinders healthy and loving mother/daughter relationships. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: jennsaxena on Oct 4, 2012, 7:04PM
Dr Phil,

I live in Australia, so I'm just seeing this episode air for the first time in October 2012.  Please get us an update on Davia.  I feel so outraged at Tammie's immature and heartless behaviours towards her daughter.  There is NOTHING a child can do that warrants that type of behaviour from a parent, nothing.  I hope this lady has womaned-up in the past 3 years or Davia has found a better care taker.
 
Replied By: afatefulglance on May 19, 2011, 5:49PM
Dr. Phil-

My mother and I would love an update on how Davia and her mother are doing. We felt so badly for Davia, and how her mother was treating her at the time. I really hope that for Davia's sake her mother turned it around, and was able to find some love in her heart for that child.
Please update us on Davia next season!
Thanks!
 
Replied By: katieh2010 on Feb 2, 2010, 7:38PM
Hi all,
Thanks for replying and giving me advice and sharing your opinions on my situation! I would like you all to know that as of right now the only follow up will be on my blog-page...i know it's sad, but i'll do my best to keep a daily blog going for you all to know what is exactly going on. One amazing thing has happened since the show...i have not hit, bit, kicked, or anything physical since april of '09 which is a huge accomplishment for me! But please feel free to email me and i will personally write you back :) thanks for the support
Katie Hames
 
Replied By: katieh2010 on Feb 2, 2010, 7:23PM - In reply to reginamaria
This is katie hames from the show...i want to let you know that i appreciate your comments on the show. It helps me to this day put things into perspective. if you want to know more about me and what has been going on you can go to my page and/or personally email me, i'm open to chat about it!
Thanks, Katie
 
Replied By: raragigi on Dec 5, 2009, 1:11AM
I think tammy is a narcissist! I think "mom" thinks everybody else are jelous of her and that other people dont understand what its like and i think "mom" thinks her daughter is being mean to her or rather "getting an attitude" whenever Davia doesnt react to her or cater to her unrealistic ideas and unreasonable expectations. She wanted to show dr phil "how Davia really acts"; she recognized the video wasnt enough to convince (or rather fool) anybody so she found it necassarily to suppplement whit that. She longs for a a previous relashionship whit her daughter and still feels she needs her around because she longs for a time when she could control her daughter where as now she is loosing that; this is why she is so "desperate" and davia supposedly "stubborn" and "looking for attention", to Tammy Davia is an extension of Tammys self. 
Narcassist project their shameful feelings so yes they do have chaos and inner turmoil inside but thats only because she doesnt want to face reality and loose her perception of herself. To indulge that and basically give every child out there looking for a final voice of reason in Dr Phil to know there not insane, is just really disappointing to me. He is talking to this mother and treating her like she has anger managment issues but thats not what i see. My mom is a narcissist and i can see in Tammy all the patterns of my own mother. To tammy this is just the attention she so desperatly seeks and wether or not Dr phil thinks he i doing Davia or Tammy a favour or not, he is just conferming Tammys belief that she is not the problem and ultimatly that Davia is. This is exactly what Tammy wants, to her it from a proffesional, an authority that she can use against Davia, and Dr phil is just playing right in to Tammys hand leaving Davia completly defenseless. As i hear she went home to not talk to her daughter for three days, the sad part is that i think that was a reaction to an action Davia was strong enough to speak her mind about.
Davia need to be taken out of that home, surely she doesnt need to stay there.  
 
Replied By: franknjenj3326 on Sep 28, 2009, 12:47PM
i have a 12 year old step son who was very violenet and even hurt my 4 year old  daughter in the worst way possible but because she was so little  and i blew it by i was so emotionally hurt by it all that everyone (CPS too) was trying to push him back in the home  so i ended up taking only a few meds just to calm down i wasnt able to be a elgible witness for her and he got away with it.  they are still trying to put him back in our home...my hubby wants him back of course he is his son but i'm worried big time about allowing him back til i know he has totally changed we have alarms up and everything but i'm still worried...  mine and my hubby's daughter comes first from now on..i have even changed i was taking norcotics for my cronic pain but have been norcotic free for 6 months now and going great...i'm still hurting but i'm using other non norcotic that seems to help and hopefully i'll get her back by halloween.. wish me luck...but he was very abusive from the first time we got him at age 5 we tried everything councelors, therepist, pschiatrist everything even meds and he still was the same way and a pathalogical  liar... he has adhd/odd and bi polar ... i was just at my roots end with it all i love him i have been more of a mother to him then his real mother...his real mother wasnt even around and when she was she was hurt him..she would punish him physically for no reason and when he was not good she would let him off..so he got confused then when i got in the picture with his dad  and we got married i started being a full time mother to him and i place in rules and consequences and that was when he started throwing things at me like his dresser etc.   i wish i could of found something that worked before he had hurt her... she has so much emotional pain from what he did and then feeling like we didnt do anything...i beat myself up over everyday but all i can do is learn from it and do better and be a better mom and thats what i intend to do!
                             Thanks for listening,
                               Jen From TX    God  Bless ya'll
 
Replied By: timoteo on Sep 24, 2009, 8:45PM
When I saw the episodes of the Dr. Phil house, I was shocked to see the behavior of Tammie towards her daughter Davia.  Tammie reminded me of a roommate I lived with for 3 years.  The roommate had recently come off drugs about a month before moving in with me.  He was very bossy, demanding and uttered threats of violence if I challenged him on anything (ie: objecting to his actions, not wanting to loan him money, etc.)  It did not seem to take much to spark his temper.  I already was having mood swings as a result of a separation a few months before he moved in, as well as grieving the deaths of both my parents 1.5 years apart and the death of a close friend around the time he first moved in.  He wanted everything his way and became aggressive if I was not willing to give him his way.
We attended the same church.  The church services were Sunday afternoons, but quite often first thing in the morning, he would knock on my door and give an order "Get up and make breakfast".  If I refused, or if I was not up and in the kitchen within 10 or 15 minutes, he would start to get agitated, sometimes losing his temper.  He would then go back to bed and lay down, taunting me every 1-2 minutes "Is it ready yet? Is it ready yet?"  If I tried to ignore the taunting, he became agressive - yelling "You f---ing answer me or I'll ....."  There was an outburst or threat of violence on average of every 7-10 days during the whole 3 years we lived together.  I was expected to put on a good face at church.  When the depression was starting to show and members of the church, knowing we were roommates, but not knowing what went on behind closed doors would comment that I looked kind of down.  WHen someone commented to him, after that particular service, the roommate blasted me "You better change your attitude.  People have commented to me that you looked kind of down." 

Even though he was quite abusive mentally and financially, he was not this way 100% of the time, but still often enough to affect me seriously.  It has been two years since we moved our separate ways and I still am battling the depression and difficulty in making my own decisions.  However, he, being a mechanic has provided his services there and has given the shirt off his back at times.  He is actually a decent person when he is not angry, he just has a short fuse.  However, he is working on some of his issues and it has been over a year since he has uttered a threat to me.

I mentioned this story, because the clip of Tammie losing her temper with Davia in the video reminded me of my former roommate's displays of temper.  It is good that Tammie is getting the help she is getting to resolve issues of her own and to try to heal the relationship.  I was glad to read some of the progress reports on there.  I realize that Tammie, like my former roommate has issues that needed to be addressed and it is good that they are being addressed.  There is a lot of healing that needs to take place and it appears as though there will be a long road to recovery, but I don't believe the relationship between Tammie and Davia is beyond repair, as long as it stays on track.  All the best to both Tammie and Davia.
 
Replied By: gvsumom on Sep 23, 2009, 10:37AM
I have been looking for a follow up show to "How to be a better Parent Part 5" for the past 2 weeks. Then I turned to Dr. Phil's website for more info. I have read most of the blogs that were written about this show and then I was compelled to write a blog for the first time in my life. I argree that viewers were left hanging from the Katie story. I do hope bloggers take a step back and realize we don't know the whole story. I feel bad for the whole family not just the mother or just the daughter. I have a daughter who throws tantrums that I believe will some day be as bad as katie's if I don't figure out what we need to do. My daughter has been angry and unconsolable since the day she was born. She has an older brother that I have managed to raise without to much trouble. I have not neglected my dauthger and I don't believe I play favorites. However she accuses me of playing favorites all the time, even now that he is out of the house. I give them both encouragement and love, but my daughter only hears it when I give it to my son. She totally misses the fact that I encourage  and praise her all the time. I know that parents are suppose to be consistent and use fair disciple that is relavent to each situation, but some children can be so stubborn they can outlast even the strongest parent. They can make your life a living hell if thay want to. I understand the parent is suppose to be stronger than their children. I have desperately  looked for solutions to her tantrums. I have turned to my mother, her pediatrician, books,  and, social workers. I have even gotten advise from strangers to, "Shut my brat up!" Be careful who you judge.
 
Replied By: h20man1965 on Sep 19, 2009, 6:00PM
Dr. Phil,

I couldn't believe your tact with that abusive young woman. My wife and I were shocked. If the roles were switched, your staff would be on the phone with CPS faster than I could draw a breath. That young adult should be held accountable for her actions.

If that was a young man and not an attractive young woman, he would be in juvenile incarceration.

She owned nothing and your coddling was pathetic.

You wiffed on this one Phil.
 
Replied By: shelly_80 on Sep 19, 2009, 4:51PM - In reply to mlsmith87
I will bet anything Davia's father eventually files for full custody.  Since Davia's now having a relationship with him, I bet she chooses him over Tammie.  I know, I would.
 
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