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2009 Shows

 
Times are tough, families are cracking under the pressure, and many spouses are turning on each other when the stress becomes too much. Jennifer and her husband, Ben, fight nonstop and are on the verge of divorce. She says losing her job and Ben's mom moving in are adding to the pressure. Cameras installed in their home capture the daily reality, including the ugly fighting. Once a home is shattered, is there any hope for putting the pieces back together? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: champs94 on Sep 10, 2009, 3:35PM
Okay, I've read an lot of these reponses and I just believe that people sometime need to step back and think, how would they feel if their "perfect" life was turned upside down? I've been there. I had it all and then I NOTHING! I had the in-laws that were loving and always doing things for my husband and children, but as soon as there is a situation, the in-laws will always stuck with their own. My husband went 3 years without paying a bill, then 1 year of being unemployed and not telling anyone. And his mother just blew it off. We lost our mom, filed bankruptcy and are being sued by the rental homeowners and his family still places him on a high horse. I have 4 children and am currently living on the floor of my friends apartment. Was it right for me to leave??? At the time, yes because the verbal and physical abuse was getting out of control. However, the situation how, it's any better. My children are more depressed now that the family has separted then they were when we were all together.

When people are unemployed they, become very depressed and from the other end, the person that is trying to hold the family together is also stressed. It just a difficult situation. A lot of companies don't want to help you so then you have to deal with that, the states don't have resources available because their is no money (and I know this becuase I'm a state employee) so what do you do? You can only try and maintain for a short time, but then again, everyone gets tired of being the "bad" guy? I know why i was done, i had a lot of displacement issues and would take it out on my husband. And what did he do, he cheated on my when I was pregnant with our 4th child. And yet, I'm still to blame for that.

Life is hard for everyone, but someone people truely have to go through things before they can even begin to understand a person actions.

Hang in their family... it will get better.
 
Replied By: beachgirl40 on Sep 8, 2009, 11:16AM - In reply to kellye66
NO man should have to choose between his wife and his mother. Point being....HE SHOULDN'T BE IN THE MIDDLE. When he decided to get married, it is not about his mother but his WIFE. I agree people should do what they can to help out.....key word CAN. My opinion is there is an expectation and an ENTITLEMENT issue going on with the mother-in-law. My question is....what is she doing for HERSELF to help this situation?? I hear a lot of talk from her (mother-in-law), but her actions say something QUITE different.
 
Replied By: kellye66 on Sep 8, 2009, 7:11AM
Everyone needs to take a step back and look at the whole picture.
Jennifer is out of a job, under pressure and peed off at everyone in her life, including her husband Ben.
Ben is stuck between a rock and a hard place, to say the least. He doesn't know what to do or say and is hoping it all works out in the wash!! Those poor children in that house. That is ABUSE.
Mother-in-law is hoping her sons comes to her rescue and is willing to do what all good sons should and stand up for his mother.
Everyone in this house is angry, peed off and just plain miserable. I believe even if/when mother-in-law leaves this house will still be in the same mess it is now. There is more going on here other than Jennifer losing her job and mother-in-law moving in. 
I can NOT believe the names going back and forth and the hurtful words and yelling. Also, HOW DARE Jennifer treat her mother-in-law the way she does. That relationship should be one of the strongest ones out there. Shame on Jennifer. Also the mother-in-law is NOT innocent in this either. She should respect Ben/Jennifer's home and help where she can. If she doesn't like th food that's cooked, maybe she could offer to make dinner for everyone.
I would NEVER expect my mother-in-law to pay me or give money towards the house, while staying in our home. If she wanted special bread or fruits, etc, then she could get that with her own money.
My husband would do anything for my mom and dad(died 20 & 17 years ago) and I would do anything for his mom and dad (in a old age home - 2 year now & died 19 years ago).
I was willing to re-do our home to accomidate my mother-in-laws needs and stay home to care for her and get a part time nurse to help out. My husband and his 5 siblings decided together that she was better off in a home. I respect their choice. We are not rich, we are not poor. We are working class folks, doing our best to survive the recession. Both my kids lost their jobs and I know how hard it can be. This is a time that they should be pulling together as a FAMILY and doing what they have to do to get through this. They all seem to have angre issues and other deep seeded things going on. I think Dr.Phil only scratched the surface with this family. On a final NOTE - a man should NEVER have to choose between his mom and his wife...HOW DARE ANY WOMAN DO THAT TO A MAN.
 
Replied By: amandaissharp on Sep 8, 2009, 6:57AM
I wouldn't talk to my dog the way these people talk to each other!  I would survive not more than 5 seconds in that household!  GROW UP and BE NICE!  Pretty simple stuff.  As for the mother in law, I believe she needs some sort of depression medicine and fast.  The mother in law seemed to me to be dying for everyone to feel sorry for her and I have a feeling that is why the daughter in law seem unable to stand her.  That "woe is me" gets old very very fast.
 
Replied By: mkraack on Sep 7, 2009, 11:55PM
I am so confused!! My dad died 3 months ago and left my mom alone after 62 years of marriage. My mom has dementia and can't remember that her husband has died. She has come to live with my husband and me because we can't aford assisted living any more and I promised my dad I would take care of her. My husband hates having her here with us and yells at her to work harder at trying to remember things. I have a strong faith that got me through breast cancer all last year but this situation is wearing me down. I love my husband but I have to honor the promise I made to my dad. Life just keeps getting more difficult!
 
Replied By: katsul995 on Sep 7, 2009, 5:50PM
Do not blame mothers or fathers for the ills of a marriage. It is the partners in the marriage that are at fault and the children that pay the price Coffee Machine Review Bananagrams
 
Replied By: wicci1 on Sep 7, 2009, 5:13PM
Usually I totally agree with Dr. Phil, but on this show, I had a major problem on this and maybe it is because I am considered elderly and have mobility and medical problems.  This family's problems did not start when his mother moved in.  Families used to take care of each other and several generations lived in the same house and not one turned family away.  Yes, they did not have all the conveniences and technology we have now. Remember reading about the Depression in the '30's--people actually stood by one another and made sure neighbors as well as family were considered.  In this case obviously the problems were long standing and would have eventually led to the place where it is now.  Sometimes people have to take a look at the basis for the problems and not play the blame game.  This I agree with Dr. Phil; however my disagreement is with the tone of having a parent living with the family.  I was in that position, but not with children or a husband involved.  My mother was ill, I brought her to live with me, and that was my  joy.  She saw me through unbelieveable hardships from Polio to cancer to an abusive marriage and never once closed her door to me.  She helped me care for my babies and took me in when I was in trouble.  How can you, Dr. Phil, say that you would not live with your mother.  She lived with you and you stated that she never said a harsh word to you.  She saw you through your life.    Do not blame mothers or fathers for the ills of a marriage.  It is the partners in the marriage that are at fault and the children that pay the price--mine are right now.  And when my Mom died, I wanted to go with her.  She was me and I was her because I took her into my heart the day I was born and she took me as well.  Could I live with my children, probably not because most middle aged adults now a days are egocentric, do not live within their means, and do not like to have their life changed in any way.  In my humble opinion, God would frown on those who do not honor their mother and father and put them away in a nursing home just because.  Forgetting Mom or Dad does not cut it in my heart and soul.  If one does not take care of a parent understanding that age changes them and medical issues definitely make things harder, that to me is a sin.  I have great respect for people who consider others just as worthy, who consider their children first, who do not abuse others, and who will stand and care for their parents.
 
Replied By: scmackley on Sep 7, 2009, 1:51PM - In reply to twal1981
I know that Faith has really helped me through hard times. You just have to take one day at a time and know that God has a plan. thumb joint pain long term effects of divorce on children foot tattoos
 
Replied By: sbonzheim on Sep 7, 2009, 11:19AM
I think that the mother-in-law moving in with the couple who is going to be on air on Monday is a bad idea.  We have my husbands' son move in with us and it has been a disaster.  He is a very self-centered person and we cannot get him to move out and it has caused a problem in our marriage.  We never had any disagreements before he moved in so I cannot imagine having someone moving in where there are problems already.  Bad idea!

Sharon
 
Replied By: iammichelle on Sep 7, 2009, 7:37AM - In reply to grandma2b2009
God has nothing to do with your issues.  For it is done to you as you Believe.  Some people don't realize that they are there own worst enemy.
 
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