Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

2009 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 04/29/03) Are you one of those people who can't resist turning an ordinary life event into a huge drama? Do your conversations always start with "You won't believe what happened"? Drama queens can drain the life out of others and strain relationships. Dr. Phil gets to the bottom of his guests' need for embellishment and attention. Why do they live in a fantasyland instead of in the real world? Learn how one woman's penchant for exaggeration got her in trouble in a real-life medical emergency. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: loyalalways on Jan 5, 2014, 9:27PM
Does anyone know where I can find he full video of this show. I didn't see it. Thanks,
 
Replied By: housewife52 on Aug 22, 2009, 6:11AM
I think I have a different take on the husband who doesn't "listen " than most here. I have been married for 35 years. I have a good husband who works, supports me in anything I have ever wanted or would want to do. He has been and is a good father to our two grown kids. He , as do I , loves our sweet baby granddaughter. He doesn't drink to excess, he is not abusive, we don't argue, he has never, nor have I ,in 35 years called me names or put me down.

For the first 20 years, I would ask him nicely to do upkeep around the house, to mow the yard, to take the trash down to the road, etc... I am a very laid back person, so I never freaked out and got loud, etc. I have always felt that I can get the same message across in a calm, collected manner as well as, or better than screaming and cussing. Also I think that when we get into a yelling frenzy we are very apt to say ugly things that we don't mean and cannot take back.  We never argued, my husband does not argue. I can assure you that it takes 2 to have an argument. When I would talk to him about these things he would say nothing. After 20 years, I realized that he is the way he is and is not going to ever change. I began to look at things differently and think about things differently.I accept that if the yard gets mowed I will mow it, if the trash gets taken down I will take it. My husband will put the tiles down in the kitchen when he gets around to it. For the last 15 years I have gone about things differently. I am happy in my marriage. As in the Serenity Prayer, I have prayed for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, have had  the courage to change the things I can, and am wise enough to know the difference.

Some might say I have "settled". No, it's not like that. I have, many times talked to my husband about things that bother me. In 35 years, my husband has never, ever, told me of anything about me that he does not like about me or would change. He listens and many times has made an effort to do things more to my liking. He does want me to be happy. There are things I would never have accepted, for example, alchohol abuse, physical abuse, extra marital affairs, him not working, etc...There are no perfect human beings therefore no perfect husbands or wives. If I had not changed my expectations years ago, and had kept on expecting my husband to be something that he is not, it would have eventually worn me down to a frazzle, and I would have overlooked all the good things he is and concentrated only on his flaws. It takes compromise to have a good marriage.

Let's keep in mind also, that I am not a perfect person therefore I am not a perfect wife. The one person in the world who thinks that I am perfect, is my husband.
 
Replied By: lovehatelife on Aug 19, 2009, 3:38PM
Chris and Kim's everyday issues seemed to hit home. I agree with Kim's statement," you dont have to agree with me, just hear what I have to say, acknowledge that I exist."  No matter how you say it, if they don't want to do it, you're not going to succeed no matter what.  So you either give up trying and live your life as the parent taking care of the child (which they hate in some ways as well) or you're the bad guy for making such a fuss over 'everything'.  I really dont care to pick up the pieces of an irresponsible husband that sees nothing wrong with his lack of care to make things go smoothly.  He deals with the situations when he has to, until then he'd rather ignore like they are going to go away.  It gets really old on our end as well.  Dr Phil seemed to threaten her, that if SHE didn't change he had every right to leave her.  I never really understood the soloution from Dr Phil to the problem.  I agree that in the back of my head I always wonder if I'm the bad guy always being the one that cares about problems and not being able to be like him and just sit back and wait to see what happens.  I DONT KNOW HOW???  Does this mean "I'm not interesting enough, or not important enough or not acknowledged enough" because I CARE??? 
 
Replied By: cinderella3 on Aug 19, 2009, 1:19PM - In reply to tizianaj
Passive-agressive checked out husband = yelling wife
I used to have one and I used to yell. You can deal with it for a while, but after a few years it becomes so annoying you can't stand it.  When you try to call them on their behavior thay act like you are crazy.
The guy on the show had a face on like no matter what she says he isn't going to communicate, participate or help. I've seen that face many times before. 
It doesn't matter how you say it--nice, yelling, sexy, happy, or in a note, they will alway conveniently "forget" to do it. 
 
 
Replied By: tizianaj on Aug 19, 2009, 11:22AM - In reply to letstalkabouti
Okay, so they called Dr. Phil initially because she has a temper. You agree that she displays her temper because her husband is being passive-aggressive, and yet she's the one with the problem??

Of course she's insecure! Wouldn't you be? Her husband barely talks to her, won't do simple tasks even when reminded repeatedly, and pushes her away constantly. He considers her his mommy, not his wife!  As for a "typical man", why do we women make that excuse for them? We have to grow up - why can't they?
 
Replied By: tizianaj on Aug 19, 2009, 11:14AM - In reply to csmit257
Methinks you doth protest too much. Perhaps having a mother who nags all the time will do that to a person, I wouldn't know.

I agree that their problem is a lack of communication - she's communicating, and he's refusing to listen or even acknowledge that he's part of the problem. Not only that, but he has no intention of doing anything that she wants because it would mean that he's "lost" the battle. Writing down what she wants to say is not a bad idea - except he'll ignore her notes, just like he ignores her reasonable requests. Apparently screaming and slamming doors is the only way to get this man-child's attention.

And yes, he is a child, or at least behaving like one in this situation. Look at the behaviour of any sulky five year old and you'll see a mirror image of this guy. Time to grow up, dude!
 
Replied By: krader5291 on Aug 19, 2009, 10:05AM - In reply to tizianaj
I agree! I have a husband of 31 years and for about the last five years I have had to tell him everyday about going to bed with tobacco in his mouth. I have moved out of our bed because he has ruined our mattress. I tell him to turn the tv off before he falls a sleep, but I have to get up every night to turn off the tv. I'm tired of him not listening. I have told him that i'm about to leave him because he is wearing me out. This lady shouldn't have to tell him over and over. She has enough to do with two children, a house to clean , and meals to prepare. If this guy loves his wife why not pick up after his self?   If he's not careful he just might loose her.
 
Replied By: csmit257 on Aug 19, 2009, 9:03AM - In reply to tizianaj
The husband does not act like a child.  He is screaming out for help!  Nobody wants to listen to someone who nags all the time!!  So eventually he just blocks her out.  She makes a huge ordeal about something so simple..  I know this because my mother is the same way!!  Drama, Drama, Drama!!!  It gets old fast.  He admitted he could do better, that is all he can do!  A marriage is a two-way street, of nothing but compromise, trust, communication, honesty, and love...If one or more element is left out it simply isn't going to work.  Their problem is clearly lack of communication.  If she would write down what she wanted to say rather than nagging at him, then go back another day and read what she would have said, she would realize how insignificant and rediculous it really is...better yet, use a tape recorder!
 
Replied By: letstalkabouti on Aug 18, 2009, 9:54PM - In reply to tizianaj
The husband was being passive/agressive; however, Dr. Phil was right on.  They were on the show dealing with her, not her husband.  So, the problem was her display of insecurity.  Always wanting her husband to reassure her that he did love her and she was good enough.  Because she was doing that all the time, the other issues could never be dealt with.  (And, good luck with that one because I think he's being a typical man!!!   :)   )
 
Replied By: letstalkabouti on Aug 18, 2009, 9:48PM
This show was great.  While watching the second guest, I felt like I was listening to myself.  OMG!  What an ego and she didn't even know it.  I remember those days.  She didn't hear a word Dr. Phil said because she was too interested in letting the audience know just how cool she was.  She really wasn't on the show for help with a problem, she was on the show to let us know you can be a "cool" drama queen.  I just pray that she doesn't have to run from her life as many years as I did before I finally realized that's what I was doing?!! 

It's amazing the things we do when we feel we're not in "control".  Drink, drugs, smoke, spend, shop, fall in love, snap, drama queen!  Anything to avoid our own life.  She said if she didn't have all that chaos in her life it was kind of boring.  And she believed that.  So did I.  I have just learned that you don't have to be "doing" for life to be good.  Learning to simply "be" is the most important.  To be happy just being you.  And, to do that you have to learn who "you" are. 

And the woman that was on with her husband.  My heart goes out to her.  What a terrible existence to be so afraid that you lash out at your husband all the time in hopes he will confirm for you that you are alright.  Dr. Phil was right on to recommend that she learn to give herself those affirmations.  Until she can do that for herself, that fear of not being good enough will always be there.

The woman that did all the embellishing....I wonder what her childhood was like.  How sad that she didn't feel worthy of her children's concern unless things were HUGELY drastic!!  I wonder if her children simply said, "Mom, we love you just the way you are" enough times she might be happier? 

But, all in all, I learned how important it is to know and love oneself.  If I'm feeling troubled, I turn it over to God and ask Him to help me do His will....not mine!
 
Showing 1-10 of total 20 Comments