2009 Shows

(Original Air Date: 05/11/06) Dr. Phil’s guests say they're fed up with loved ones who can't seem to stay out of their business. Carla, 31, says she's tired of her mother, Pamela, tracking her every move, day and night. Pamela says having a house right behind her daughter makes keeping an eye on her easy. She even cut down Carla's hedges so she could see better! Does this backyard buttinsky know best, or does she need to stay on her side of the fence? Then, Christie is so obsessed with snooping on her husband, Shannon, that she reads his e-mails, checks his phone messages and even smells his clothes just to make sure he's not cheating on her. Shannon says he has no privacy and is contemplating leaving his wife. What's behind Christie's constant snooping and interrogations? Plus, a mom who says as long as her children live under her roof, she has the right to eavesdrop on their phone calls, read their diaries, and even search through their clothes while they're sleeping! Is she crossing the line? Tell us what you think!

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 21, 2009, 10:57AM - In reply to dauphinemaja
I only smell my husband's shirts to see if they need washing. If they smell sweaty, I wash them.
Replied By: ihatecomputers on Aug 20, 2009, 4:05PM
Dr. Phil:
Years ago I had a similar situation.  When we couldn't take the torment any longer we realized we were the ones with the power!  First, regarding the mail.  Mail tampering is a federal offense.  I put a tiny security camera focused on the post box in front of the house and later hid one in the back of the box we taped the intrusions for about a month. Second, when the landscaping in the yard was getting destroyed, again I had it on tape.  I knew it wasn't the grounds keepers because at the time we were between gardeners. Our previous people had retired and we hadn't hired any one new.  Third, All of the exterior doors on the house were replaced with very heavy oak ones with no windows, and again a tiny cameras focused on the door area so we could monitor from inside.  We also installed an intercom so when the doorbell rang, we could speak to them from inside and not have to open the door.  All of the cameras devices had sound and all was being recorded.  We also put a special locking feature on our automatic garage door that sounded an extremely loud alarm when tampered with this also had a direct link to the local police.  We made our neighbors and Neighborhood Watch people aware of the situation and let them know to call the authorities ASAP if they suspected anything.  And to call us second.  We became prisoners in our own home!
For holidays we arranged to be out of town with family we could trust not to say anything or dear friends.
We were later forced to get a P.O. Box at the local Post Office, yes this was bothersome but once we showed them the tapes, we were told to take them immediately to the Police, what was being done was a major crime.  Locally and Federally.
Our telephone numbers were changed and unlisted.  We needed to have a land line for the kids computers necessary for school and us for work.  We did not give them out to any one including doctors, schools or offices.  We only kept the cell phones on file.  We also blocked all numbers and emails from this person and other possible numbers and email addresses they could use to get in touch.  Every call was scanned via voice mail if we were not able to get a number read out.  The children's schools were notified if they showed up for any reason to call the police.  Every one was very willing to cooperate with us and the various authorities throughout this whole ordeal.
When we did move it was "under the radar"  every day we would put a box or two in the trunk of our car and drop them off at a storage facility outside of our town.  When it came to the furniture, we have several friends with vans and trucks; on weekends we'd have them arrive late in the evening, they would take a load to the storage.  This took forever, but when the big day came we were 98% out.  Our friends came in the wee hours of the morning to help with what was left.  A moving company was arranged to get us out of the storage facility and to out new home 800 miles away.
It wasn't until we were out of the house completely was the home put up for sale.
All of the tapes with and without audio were given to the Police and charges were pressed.  The authorities and the post office worked together to assure our new location remained secret.
My husband's mother did a few years in a federal prison for mail tampering, mail theft, mail fraud (for putting in a change of address for mail not hers amongst many other fraud charges), and numerous other violations of federal postal laws.  Once out, she went  straight to local lock-up for trespassing, destroying property, several attempts of robbery and extreme harassment.  The damage created was 1000's of dollars.  The expenses to do this were also in the $1000's, she was made to pay the amounts in full plus pain and suffering for each of us, including the children.  All in all, it cost her tens of thousands of dollars.
That was years ago.  We have not seen her and don't even know if she's alive.  She scared the hell out of our children to the place where they didn't even want to see her.  They still don't, the kids were between 10 and 16 when all this took place.
We've since moved out of the country and the kids have families of their own or are finishing up Grad School.  None of them live within five or six states where all this took place and never go back, even to see old friends.  They arrange for them to come to them or plan vacations together.
Don't think you can handle "whacko's" on your own, even if it is family, you need help from the authorities.  That's what you tax dollars pay for, and did our tax money ever pay off!
Replied By: scooobie on Aug 20, 2009, 1:26PM
If I had a mother or mother-in-law like that, I would be gone so fast.  Dr. Phil presented this like a big joke but to me it wasn't.  What is wrong with a 31 year old that puts up with the likes of that and she along with her mother laugh about it................I'm sorry but the advice given by Dr. Phil was good but it was given in a joking way..............
Replied By: caroleo on Aug 20, 2009, 1:10PM
You really missed it with the overbearing mother.  As mothers we are supposed to raise our children to go out into the world.....ON THEIR ONE..... and be responsible citizens and adults.  If she can't leave here daughter alone to take care of herself and her family, then she obviously doesn't trust her own parenting skills.
Replied By: cathycooney on Aug 20, 2009, 12:40PM
PLEASE REPLAY for mothers day (about first guest ) so we may truly appreatiate the mother we have!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  :)
Replied By: garrygatuso on Aug 20, 2009, 7:58AM
I had a friend who did this, and it just pushed me away.  It just pushes people away.
Replied By: dauphinemaja on Aug 16, 2009, 11:10AM
in this time and age i just cannot believe there are people left who are that immature.  when you check on your hushand, wait till you know for sure he is cheating and dump him.  not these endless discussions about how can we fix this.
i was married 30 years, we never fought, we never discussed or had to talk things out.  my husband was 24 years older than i (he had no money) and we had a great marriage.
when you have to struggle for it,  leave.
all the other things mentioned are things for little kids.  a mother who peeks through a hedge, please...
family who puts up with other family members trying to run their lives deserve it. jezus, can nobody solve their own problems anymore.
i would like to see you help people with real problems.  do something to get rid of tent cities and explain to a few hardcore u.s. lovers,  no you do not live in the land of plenty anymore. you are much better off in some other countries and to stupid to know it.
dr. phil,  it is about time  you tell some of these people where to go.  good luck.

Replied By: sassy54w on Aug 15, 2009, 4:17PM
Dear Dr  Phil,

     Don't these people have better things to do with their own lives than to waste time on worrying about what their daughter or husband is doing constantly?

     About the mother of the 31 year old whose mother even cut down the hedge to see...........OMG,
She has already been raised by the mother it is definitely time to let go and get on with her own life.
Life is way too short to try and live someone else's life and not live your own.

     As for the wife that snoops, well,  if you can't trust him then why are you with him.   I was in a similar situation (not now) where I felt that I needed to constantly be checking on him and had never done that in any of my previous relationships.  I didn't trust him because of situations that made me suspicious, I was always checking up on him after the situation and couldn't stop .   I decided that living my life like that was not worth all the worry and wondering so I ended the 6 year live in situation.   That wife needs to know that life is too short to have all that stress and worry all the time.

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