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2009 Shows

 
(Original Air Date: 11/06/02) Could your marriage survive a role reversal? Dr. Phil puts his own relationship to the test by switching household routines with his wife, Robin. Can they handle the daily grind of each other’s lives? It's a "first" when Dr. Phil takes a trip to the grocery store, does the laundry and bakes a cake (or at least tries to)! How did he do? Don't miss the hilarious results. And, while Dr. Phil and Robin have come up with a division of labor that works for them, meet other couples who say they're clueless about their roles. It’s not as easy as it looks to walk in your spouse’s shoes. You may walk away from today’s episode with a better perspective. Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: tkillgore on Aug 30, 2009, 7:48PM
My husband and I really enjoyed watching this show together! I would LOVE to be able to trade places for one day with my husband I think it would give lots of insight to what your spouse really goes through.
 
Replied By: chaillelee on Aug 15, 2009, 11:28AM
Hi, Dr. Phil:

My husband and I have had a few ups and downs in our marriage, but overall we had a great marriage.  He recently passed away (our 45th wedding anniversary would have happened this coming November) and after being his caretaker for nearly 30 years I have been busy doing things that I could not do while caring for him 24/7.  I now live alone and have some time to reminisce and reflect on our time together.

Some of the thoughts that came to me while watching your show about sharing duties are:

Our basic understanding was that my husband would take care of outdoor maintenance/jobs; I would take care of the indoor responsibilities.  This practice had a lot of exceptions because when he needed help outside, I assisted him any way that I could; when I needed help inside the house, he would help wherever he could.  I may not have done the task as he would and he may not have done a task as I would have done it, but we were flexible and helpful.  For example:  My husband tried to maintain our vehicles as much as possible, avoiding the expense for minor needs.  When he needed someone to hold a flashlight so he could use the wrench or tester or remove or affix parts, I was happy to help.  We have four living children (and three other pregnancies) and he knew I needed extra rest or if I was ill and needed attention, he would do what he could to keep things going, such as meals, bathing the children or cleaning toilets and floors.  We supported each other's decisions pertaining to discipline and training our children (they are all blessings in our lives) and when they were able, the children would complete their own chores and homework and pitch in with other responsibilities.  All six of us would look for a way to help others.  One of our children's favorite memory is when we would prepare baskets (one for each child to carry) to take to a other families at Christmas time, especially the elderly.  (Although we tried to do different families each year, one elderly couple always came onto our list.)  We walked to Church most of the time and even when we had gas in our car.  My husband drove a bus to pick up students in our area to take them to early-morning classes every day during the school year until he was diagnosed with Multiple Schlerosis and could no longer drive.  After that our roles and division of labor changed somewhat.  Our children were leaving for college or missions elsewhere, etc., so my husband began doing more at home and I took up a second job.  We managed very well and we did COMMUNICATE A LOT!!!  If I had a problem, I always tried to start my conversation with "I feel..."

I have always appreciated the fact that my husband took care of folding or hanging up his own clothes and shined his own shoes, etc., without being asked...It was just part of his routine.  If there is something that needs doing, cleaning, putting away or preparing, whoever sees the need jumps in to get it taken care of.  (I hope I don't get a citation for disclosing this)...When my husband could no longer drive the school bus, I drove the bus (I knew the route and all the kids) until a new driver was chosen.

I just want to say that I am so grateful to have the husband I do, and for all he did for and with me, and for the blessing he is to me now.  I appreciated him through our marriage, but he is still helping me in my life as his widow.  I thank God he found me!

Chaille
 
Replied By: chaillelee on Aug 15, 2009, 11:24AM
Hi, Dr. Phil:

My husband and I have had a few ups and downs in our marriage, but overall we had a great marriage.  He recently passed away (our 45th wedding anniversary would have happened this coming November) and after being his caretaker for nearly 30 years I have been busy doing things that I could not do while caring for him 24/7.  I now live alone and have some time to reminisce and reflect on our time together.

Some of the thoughts that came to me while watching your show about sharing duties are:

Our basic understanding was that my husband would take care of outdoor maintenance/jobs; I would take care of the indoor responsibilities.  This practice had a lot of exceptions because when he needed help outside, I assisted him any way that I could; when I needed help inside the house, he would help wherever he could.  I may not have done the task as he would and he may not have done a task as I would have done it, but we were flexible and helpful.  For example:  My husband tried to maintain our vehicles as much as possible, avoiding the expense for minor needs.  When he needed someone to hold a flashlight so he could use the wrench or tester or remove or affix parts, I was happy to help.  We have four living children (and three other pregnancies) and he knew I needed extra rest or if I was ill and needed attention, he would do what he could to keep things going, such as meals, bathing the children or cleaning toilets and floors.  We supported each other's decisions pertaining to discipline and training our children (they are all blessings in our lives) and when they were able, the children would complete their own chores and homework and pitch in with other responsibilities.  All six of us would look for a way to help others.  One of our children's favorite memory is when we would prepare baskets (one for each child to carry) to take to a other families at Christmas time, especially the elderly.  (Although we tried to do different families each year, one elderly couple always came onto our list.)  We walked to Church most of the time and even when we had gas in our car.  My husband drove a bus to pick up students in our area to take them to early-morning classes every day during the school year until he was diagnosed with Multiple Schlerosis and could no longer drive.  After that our roles and division of labor changed somewhat.  Our children were leaving for college or missions elsewhere, etc., so my husband began doing more at home and I took up a second job.  We managed very well and we did COMMUNICATE A LOT!!!

I have always appreciated the fact that my husband took care of folding or hanging up his own clothes and shined his own shoes, etc., without being asked...It was just part of his routine.  If there is something that needs doing, cleaning, putting away or preparing, whoever sees the need jumps in to get it taken care of.  (I hope I don't get a citation for disclosing this)...When my husband could no longer drive the school bus, I drove the bus (I knew the route and all the kids) until a new driver was chosen.

I just want to say that I am so grateful to have the husband I do, and for all he did for and with me, and for the blessing he is to me now.  I appreciated him through our marriage, but he is still helping me in my life as his widow.  I thank God he found me!

Chaille
 
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 13, 2009, 3:18PM - In reply to ckrich1
Isn't awfully rude to call another poster wrong? Just because it's 2009 and we're no longer living in biblical times, the Bible's precepts can still be applied even today. Because, while the Bible actually says nothing about who should do what around the house, husbands and wives are instructed to treat each other with dignity and respect.
 
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 13, 2009, 12:59PM
Dr Phil says you teach people how to treat you. Who does what around the house ought to be hashed out before getting married or shacking up.
 
Replied By: ckrich1 on Aug 13, 2009, 5:30AM - In reply to kellyb85
we are not in biblical times.... this is 2009. Men sholuld hep out in the home and wifes should not be mommies to their husbands.
 
Replied By: ckrich1 on Aug 13, 2009, 5:25AM
My husband and I  share alot of things in our home. At times my husband will vacumn and wash dishes. When we go shopping for groceries I make one list set into 2 colums . One side is mine and the other is his. When I had surgery on my hand he helped out doing most of the household chores. When I broke my leg he not only worked 8-9 hrs a day he would come home and cook supper and shores , help me with a bath and ash my hair. I would do the same for him if need be. I also mow the lawn though it is a riding mower, while he weed wacks etc.   There are no set roles in our home.
 
Replied By: webbillness on Aug 13, 2009, 4:53AM
Dr. Phil I 47 year old man who watched your show I been on both sides of the spectrum so I think it takes two people no matter what the situation give and take is only way.  The mans role and the womans role has been gone since the 80's I am alone because I am posessive person when it  comes to woman I have woman friends but don't get close for that reason I already know i am that way and won't change even with your help  I wouldn't change.  I cook and do dishes everyday I am disabled and that is the only thing I can do but, recently I found out yesterday I have a chronic life threatning disease and not sure what to do my stepfather is lost since my mother died and my Grandmother is 85 and I take care of her I am involved in car accident case and this is devastating because it is due to lack of  medical treatment and who do blame for that?
 
Replied By: broker1 on Aug 12, 2009, 2:00PM
Dr.. Phil & Robin: We ave been married 15 yrs this month, never had an argument, I'm retired, she works, I can do every job in the house.  We alternate breakfast in bed almost every weekend, When she comes home from work, supper is ready (who is ever home first cooks) If she needs something done
in the house that she would like me to do, she asks, I do.  We generally grocery shop together.  We let each other know every day we love each other.  I printed  up for my wife a Recipe for Love and is as follows:  Lots: of Attention,Loving,Caring,Affection, Respect, Trust, Sharing,Devotion,Communication,
Patience....Mix them all together with a whole lot of understanding and you........have Love! I We always compliment each other, I never criticize her appearance.In the evening we watch your show and we always allow time for each other.  We do not always agree, but never argue; we discuss the issue.  To coin your Phrase..."How is it working for you?"....Great!....Would I marry her again..  You bet.. ( We have been down that road before and we think we have it right!) Carol  & Ed Porter
 
Replied By: metalman_too on Aug 11, 2009, 10:43PM
As a matter of fact I appreciated this show so much that I got down on my knees and thanked God for being single. I don't have any negotiations to go through or role reversals to help me better understand anything. I'm might just have to buy me a tape of this show to help me keep a proper mindset in life. Good grief, listening to the complaints from mates was some of Dr. Phil's best therapy for a single guy like myself. Thank you Dr. Phil cause this is one show that will stay on my mind for a long time.
 
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