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(Original Air Date: 09/27/05) What if you learned that your child was being choked or suffocated to get high? "Space Monkey" or "the choking game" is a dangerous trend sweeping the nation, and the consequences can be deadly. Robin says she witnessed her 14-year-old daughter and her friends giggling, choking and passing out. But what this mom saw was no laughing matter. Find out why her daughter enjoys the game, despite its dangerous repercussions. Then, Sarah's 13-year-old son made headlines when he died while playing the choking game. How can she move past the guilt? Plus, Dr. Phil addresses a trend that looks innocent on the surface but can affect teens in the worst way. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: wildfarmkids on Nov 21, 2013, 6:34PM
Dr.Phil... Okay, Deep breath, ... ... 
    Today November 21st 2013 is the two year anniversary of the death of my son. I have read through some of the posts regarding this deadly activity. Some of the comments seem to be so off base and judgemental. I will spare you all the details as it is on our educational website / blog.

                    http://wildfarmkids.com/the-nights-story/ 

    I am often asked why the information seems to be so out dated all over the web from the CDC to talk shows.I wonder that myself. I would love for you to do a NEW show on this topic.  I hate that it gets lumped into suicide and bulling in most venues. I was blindsided by the activity. I have six children ages 5 thru 23. We had/have the talks with our kids but I had never heard of TCG till it was too late. Now along with my oldest daughter, we are on a mission to educate the world about this activity. 
   We would just ask you put together another program about it. My son was good. He is missed dearly by his community. His class is holding another "celebration of his life" tommorow night. We make little ripples and soon they become waves of information reaching so many. I am ready to take the next step and become more vocal about this activity. I may be seen as just a grieving mom on a soapbox, and thats okay, God gave me this mission. Will you help put this back into the media and educae a new set of parents and caregivers. Will you be more the a small ripple, be a wave... ... ..

    Blessing to you,

    Wendi Engle, WildFarmKids Mama
 
Replied By: mykidshavepaws on Nov 6, 2013, 6:48AM
I just absolutely am at a loss to understand how ANYONE could be so stupid!!!! The only reason you get the 'high' is because your brain is starved for oxygen and dying!  There are people that are born with brain damage and people that are in accidents which caused brain damage and then you have people who are intentionally killing their brains off a little at a time!  Peer pressure is NO excuse.  The question that parents have asked their children 'if someone told you to jump off a cliff would you?' these kids are pretty much jumping off the cliff.  You kill brain cells EVERY SINGLE TIME you do this and, newsflash....brain cells DO NOT grow back.  You have just so many and when they are gone, they're gone...period!!!


Adults do the same thing only it is known as auto erotic asphyxiation.  That is what killed David Carridine, the actor.  There is NOTHING worth it...no high, no release, no being cool in front of your friends.  How cool are you going to be when you are brain damaged and living in a mental institution (wearing a diaper because you can't control your bodily functions)....for the rest of your life...and that's if you're lucky??? How cool are you going to be DEAD???  If you're the choker in this 'game' how cool are you going to be when you are in prison for manslaughter or second degree murder???  If you don't kill someone you could still go to prison for attempted murder or assault and battery.  Guess what....choking someone is illegal!!!!  Believe me, I know that it sucks not to be in the 'in crowd' but if that is what it takes...SO WHAT!!!  I understand that when you are in high school you feel like it is one of the most important things in the world to be accepted by your peers...it  isn't.  Chances are good that you won't have any interaction with MOST of the people you go to school with after you graduate.  These people who you are so concerned about impressing DO NOT give a tinkers damn about you or themselves!!!  If they did they wouldn't LET you be involved with this.
 
Replied By: rebecca12 on Apr 18, 2013, 11:08AM - In reply to ziggy1962
I totally agree with you Laura. It is imperative that parents are involved with their kids more than ever today in this era.
Dr. Phil;
I caught my 15 yr old stepson holding his breath on purpose thinking it was funny and nothng would happen to him. He did it twice in front of me. He thought it was just a simple game that was "cool" he said he was doing it for the heck of it. To play- just to see how long he could hold his breath. I had a heart to heart talk with him but I was not a happy step-mom when talking to my son. I explained my feelings, and what could happen to him if he continued this stupidity.

I have talked with his father about this as well. I worrry about teens today because I feel their bilogical parents do not spend quality time with their Children like they should today. My youngest stepson who will be 13 in a week is totally addicted to playing viedo games as well. His father lets him play them. I talked with his father about buying him a bike to get outdoors instead of being cooped up in the house 24/7 playing violent games on his WWI, his Xbox, his hand held games, His bilogical family buys him these games everytime he has a birthday, or for christmas, or for every holiday that comes up! (Seriously every holiday) you name it!  I know awhile back you talked about step parents letting the bilogical parent take over in disciplling their child. It saddens me that both of my stepsons parents are not persistant in their discipline. I have even talked about "love and Logic" actions.. and my sons father still thinks I am too strict in taking his sons games away.  I know my step-sons both need counseling. I think my husband thinks both boys will just grow out of their bad behaviours. (It is very frusturating for me as a step-parent) any suggestions for me? My youngest step-son is a complusive lier at well. (something he has learned from his bilgocial mother who is addicted to drugs, and puts her drugs first before her children) When the boys go visit her and their grandmother..(her mom) Their bilogical mother never has set rules for the boys to follow she lets them do whatever they want. and watch any nasty tv show or movie they want. They have seen things they should have not seen at their young ages!  I also have talked to their father about this as well, and he still lets the boys go visit their mother in summertime for two months. When they come back all I hear that they have done was go scavenging around in dumpsters looking for hidden treasures!
What kind of advice can you give to me? So that I can help guide these boys and help them get on the right track? When the boys were young they actually were neglected by their mother from birth until 6 yrs of age until their father took over sole custody of his boys. They have been living with us since they were 6 and 8 yrs old.  I have been trying hard to instill good values in them, but nothing seems to be working for me. any advice would be appreciated!
thank you,
Rebecca
 
Replied By: jeanamonroe on Mar 28, 2013, 11:22AM
I lost my son RJ Monroe to this deadly game 12/4/12. I am trying to bring awarness to the choking game because I knew nothing about it and do not want others to have to endure what I have. I was invited to speak at the National Mayors Convention in June and plan to go if I can make enough money prior. I do have to pay my way or pass the bone to someone who I choose. I want to educate the mayors because we have to do something about this! Please help! Thank you for doing this show <3

  Choke No More



 The choking game is a silent epidemic that is quickly taking the lives of many of this nation’s tweens and teens. My son, RJ Monroe, was a beautiful, loving, energetic and fearless young man who was working his way to a promising education and career when one day…he played the choking game.


RJ was dropped off at home, just like so many other days, while we went to pick up the other siblings. Only twenty five minutes passed since he had been home, but upon arrival…Rj was not breathing. He was found by his five year old sister in his room, practically sitting on the ground- suspended from his loft bed. The chair he had planned to rest in, to get his high, was inches from him. His lifeless body was limp as she tried to wake her brother up with kisses. He wouldn’t wake…so she cried for daddy to help RJ. Daddy tried to help RJ, as I his mother was not home. His little sister and baby brother sat and watched as daddy tried to perform CPR and talk to 911.


Then mommy came home, frantic as she saw the many ambulances and fire trucks. No one would tell her what was going on exactly…just that RJ was in the ambulance being treated the best they could. Time stood still as mommy, daddy, and the children waited frantically to see if RJ was going to be ok.


He has to be ok – Right!? Mommy thought, “This cannot happen to me! He is going to be ok! I cannot lose my child! God would not do this to me. I have been through so much as a child tossed from home to home and my mother was murdered when I was fifteen. I cannot lose my fifteen year old little boy who still has so much to live for! Please God – don’t take my child.”


The ambulance rushed RJ to the hospital with me in the squad car following. My head hung low as I walked into the hospital to hear the verdict of if my child would survive this senseless game. There was minimal time that resided before the doctor came in to tell me that they could do nothing more for my baby. I melted, falling, crying, and screaming in disbelief. My child has died….


RJ Monroe died December 4, 2012 from the choking game. And he is just one of numerous children who have died from this senseless game. Please sign this petition so we can educate kids of the fatalities of playing such a dangerous game. Sign this petition so we can keep track of the deaths of children from this game. There is currently no code for death certificates stating that the children are dying from the choking game. RJ’s death certificate, like so many others, just states death to accident. It should state death do to choking game.


Sign this petition so no one has to endure the pain that I have and so many other parents have. Sign this petition to save a child…to possibly save your child.


Please go to this sight sign and in the comments state your thoughts or if it is that you are signing for RJ Monroe state so. We are not far from congress paying attention to the state of Wisconsin. Please share this story with all staff and family and ask them to sign. We are saving lives one day at a time…


Thank you,


Jeana Sunshine Monroe


 




 
Replied By: drphil100xcx on Jul 29, 2011, 1:05PM
Autoerotic asphyxia has been a dangerous form of masterbation not only teens but for adults.  The lead singer for INXS as well as David Carradine (Kill Bill) both met with their demise from doing the same thing.

I believe a major factor is that adults do not teach pre-teens and teens how to masturbate, the differences between clitoral and vaginal orgasms for women, the sex organs and their functions and what they can do to have safe sex, with the same results.

I am certain that Dr. Laura Berman has more to say on this subject.
 
Replied By: lostwithouthim on Aug 20, 2009, 8:19AM
Hello Dr. Phil I watched your show today as I do every morning....I cried throughout the whole show as I too lost a child, he was17 and I too was a couple of feet away from him when he was killed...Although my tragedy is much different ,the pain of loosing a child is very much similar....It scares me when I hear a child has passed away 2yrs ago and the parent is still in horrific pain...It scares me to know I lost my child one year ago, and everyday I pray tomorrow will be better, and yes some things have changed but my life along with my husband and our four living children reamain destroyed forever...I feel her pain so much...I know the feeling of guilt, why didnt I save him? I am his mother, I am supposed to save and protect him from harms way..I dont have alot of answers for her as I too am still searching for answers....I too dont sleep well, wake up crying in the middle of the night, Instead of loosing weight i have acutally turned to food and gained 25pds within the last year..Three of my children are nine and under, and I know that they need me, and everyday I try to do things different with them, but it is so hard when you are constantly replaying that night in your head...It doesnt take much to trigger the whole scene coming back in your mind..It hurts and you wonder how in the world you can live without him, One day you feel like you are better and then the next day you wake up worst then yesterday..And of course, all your family and freinds assume you are recovering..However what they dont know is that you never recover the death of your child, it is a scar that never heals..I really want to get better, and I am sure in the outside I have, but although this might be selfish, strange, crazy but it hurts to see the world keeps moving and my childs life has ended...He was supposed to graduate from highschool this year, his bestfreind invited me to his graduation, but my heart would not allow me to attend..I couldnt do it, to top it off their were so many graduations in my family and yes I was happy for them, but everytime I see a picture with a cap and gown, I wonder how he would have looked with a cap and gown....Dr. Phil, i try to remember him for his vibrant personality, gorgeous smile, and his silly yet heroic ways, but that just makes me sadder to know such a great kid was taken from me, his brothers and sisters, father, freinds and family..I have so much I can write....I can write forever just talking about my amazing kid....I just want to note....Loosing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, recovery is a long journey which you have to take baby steps, I commend his mother for trying really hard to move forward, i will learn from her as she has lived the pain much longer then me....Thank you Dr. Phil for your wonderful shows, I wish I had the time to expereince watching them much sooner, I learn so much, you are a therpy for me, unfortunately I started watching your show a year ago when this tragedy happened as after that day I have been unable to work and have the time to watch your show in the morning when the kids are in school, thank you, and "May God Bless All The Parents " that are going through the pain of loosing their child....
 
Replied By: lostwithouthim on Aug 20, 2009, 8:19AM
Hello Dr. Phil I watched your show today as I do every morning....I cried throughout the whole show as I too lost a child, he was17 and I too was a couple of feet away from him when he was killed...Although my tragedy is much different ,the pain of loosing a child is very much similar....It scares me when I hear a child has passed away 2yrs ago and the parent is still in horrific pain...It scares me to know I lost my child one year ago, and everyday I pray tomorrow will be better, and yes some things have changed but my life along with my husband and our four living children reamain destroyed forever...I feel her pain so much...I know the feeling of guilt, why didnt I save him? I am his mother, I am supposed to save and protect him from harms way..I dont have alot of answers for her as I too am still searching for answers....I too dont sleep well, wake up crying in the middle of the night, Instead of loosing weight i have acutally turned to food and gained 25pds within the last year..Three of my children are nine and under, and I know that they need me, and everyday I try to do things different with them, but it is so hard when you are constantly replaying that night in your head...It doesnt take much to trigger the whole scene coming back in your mind..It hurts and you wonder how in the world you can live without him, One day you feel like you are better and then the next day you wake up worst then yesterday..And of course, all your family and freinds assume you are recovering..However what they dont know is that you never recover the death of your child, it is a scar that never heals..I really want to get better, and I am sure in the outside I have, but although this might be selfish, strange, crazy but it hurts to see the world keeps moving and my childs life has ended...He was supposed to graduate from highschool this year, his bestfreind invited me to his graduation, but my heart would not allow me to attend..I couldnt do it, to top it off their were so many graduations in my family and yes I was happy for them, but everytime I see a picture with a cap and gown, I wonder how he would have looked with a cap and gown....Dr. Phil, i try to remember him for his vibrant personality, gorgeous smile, and his silly yet heroic ways, but that just makes me sadder to know such a great kid was taken from me, his brothers and sisters, father, freinds and family..I have so much I can write....I can write forever just talking about my amazing kid....I just want to note....Loosing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, recovery is a long journey which you have to take baby steps, I commend his mother for trying really hard to move forward, i will learn from her as she has lived the pain much longer then me....Thank you Dr. Phil for your wonderful shows, I wish I had the time to expereince watching them much sooner, I learn so much, you are a therpy for me, unfortunately I started watching your show a year ago when this tragedy happened as after that day I have been unable to work and have the time to watch your show in the morning when the kids are in school, thank you, and "May God Bless All The Parents " that are going through the pain of loosing their child....
 
Replied By: gardener311 on Aug 18, 2009, 8:18AM
Please know that I fully share in your grief and your frustration. I DID know about the 'game' but like so many other parents I never thought one of my children would try it, let alone die from it.  As I stated in my original post (mistakingly posted under the 'Deadly Teen Trends' message board) I too was told it was suicide (from the 36" height of a doorknob????!!!) Every aspect of my daughter's death was consistant with the 'game'.  It was STILL ruled as a suicide. Why? several reasons: 1) Many medical examiners/coroners are not educated on it. Nor are EMT's, Dr's, police, or firefighters. THIS is a problem! They are the first on the scene when these kids are discovered. The ONE thing that seperates a death by intentional hanging (suicide) and a choking game victim on the morgue tables is WHAT WAS AT THE SCENE!!!! Now, how many deaths is the ME/coroner going to have to go back and re-investigate if the choking game comes into play?  2) The schools are very loath to talk about this. The rumours are STILL swirling regarding my daughters death because the school refused to disclose it as a result of the game. They cited 'we don't want to give them any ideas' as the reason. These kids already KNOW!! She was in 7th grade which is the prime age! Furthermore, many schools (such as the one in our county) no longer have DARE programs. One crash course of 'Just Say NO' in 5th grade before they get to middle school and that's it. No mention of the game. 3) When these deaths are listed as 'suicide' they go to the CDC and are listed as such thus putting them on the list of 'Adolescent/Teen Suicides'.  This pretty much skews those numbers now doesn't it? 4) Dr. Phil  ran this show orginally  in '05. How many now saw it in 'rerun' 4 yrs. later, shaking their heads in disbelief saying "I had NO idea'? 5) The recent death of David Carridine from AEA would have been a PRIME springboard to alert parents/schools/medical professionals to it's precursor 'the game'. But No, under the rug it went. He had issues, problems, it was murder, it was this, that....  Kids of this age group think they are invincible. Alyssa summed it up. She said  EXACTLY what I'm sure the kid(s) who showed my daughter how to do it were saying after they found out about her death. She said "the kids who die from this just weren't doing it right". In the meantime I live with wondering while I was stupidly taking a shower and she was in her bedroom CHOKING TO DEATH did she try to call out?? Did  she have a stroke or heart attack first? did she just pass out then die?  did she suffer? I can talk to therapists from now till the cows come home and it will NEVER erase those questions or ease the guilt. Scott Metheny is an police officer with the Upper Marlboro Township in PA has created a video presentation specifically for the DARE programs on the Choking Game.  The trick is getting it/him into the schools to present it! It has been 2 1/2 yrs. since her death and the rebuild has been slow.  Her death set off a  chain reaction that sent my world to ground zero that has just recently started to rebuild. My now 18 yr. old older daughter and I are estranged as well as my father. My daughters and I had been living with my then fiancee of several years when she died. There was a bitter separation one year later.  We went our separate ways but there was a happy ending: We went to dinner on Jan. 6 of this year, 2 days before the second anniversary of her death and were married on Feb. 20. Baby steps on the long road back.
t
 
Replied By: wulfspirit22 on Aug 15, 2009, 4:37PM
I lost my only 12 year old son, November 14th 2008 to this horrible activity. I found him November 10th, hanging, I was able to do CPR and got him back, the hospital had to keep him intubated and sedated because of the tube. So he never woke up.
 I had Never heard of this "game", they tried to tell me it was suicide, and I knew better. my son had so much love inside him, that day was the begining of my hell I now call my life.
 WE NEED TO GET THIS IN ALL   D.A.R.E. PROGRAMS!!!!!!!!!  We need to educate the kids and parents as to what they are doing to their precious bodies!
 Dr. Phil P L E A S E, I beg you, please help my fight to get this into all the DARE programs.
 Loosing my son is the worse thing that could ever happen to me!!  I caould have discussed this with him, had I known.
 And ALOT of the schools are trying to avoid getting the word out, they say they don't want to "put it in their heads", but it is already there!!!
I have tried to get Uriah's school to let me set up an assembly, and have a speaker come and talk to the kids about this. They will not return my calls, and I know the kids are still messing with this right in the hallways. PLEASE HELP!!!
Thanks for your time,
Toni Martin
Uriah's Mom 4ever
www.chokinggame.net
http://obits.mlive.com/gb2/default.aspx?bookid=3783986511140 Uriah's guest book
 
Replied By: ashdow on Aug 14, 2009, 10:11PM
This show really hits home for me. I was 16 years old in grade 11 when i got a phone calling saying my best friend had passed away. My mind was screaming trying to figure out, why he would do this why did he kill himself. We had talked about everything. That night had changed my life forever. It wasn't until almost a year later that we found out Leo died of trying to get high, off a stupid game called "the choking game". He was the first person in my province to have on his death certificate that he died from this game. Each day i think about him and still miss him terribly. It makes me really happy to see Dr.Phil raising awareness about this terrible game. Is it really worth it to try and get a high when it can kill you. And if you don't think it can happen, then research this game, it is deadly. Help yourself and parents and the people that you out by stop playing it because they don't want to have to bury a son a brother a nephew grandson or friend. Trust me it is hard.
 
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