2009 Shows

(Original Air Date: 11/25/02) Dr. Phil takes on incurable flirts! Meet two flirtatious women who admit that they enjoy enticing men, and another woman who’ll give you the lowdown on her “Kissing Bandit Game,” in which she and her friends score points based on how many and what types of men they kiss during a night out. Be there when Dr. Phil’s audience — both wives and girlfriends — express their anger with flirts. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 21, 2009, 11:47AM
As Dr Phil said, flirting is often a sexual message. Sometimes, it is an intentional sexual message. But, even when it isn't, flirting can be construed as a sexual message. With consequences.
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 21, 2009, 11:38AM
On this, and the traditional board, a number of women justified their flirting by saying they would never flirt with any "taken" man. But, how would these women distinguish between "taken" and "available" men? The presence, or absence, of a wedding band? My husband doesn't wear his, at my request, because rings are dangerous in his line of work. And, what about men who are engaged to be married? None of them wear engagement rings. A man can be "taken" even if he isn't married or engaged. Many of them already have steady relationships. And, even a wedding band doesn't stop some of these women. Some women seem to "target" obviously married men. 35 years ago, I had a classmate who wore a wide gold wedding band and had women coming on to him all the time. He would ignore these women. If they persisted, he'd start playing with his wedding band. And, if that didn't work, he'd tell them to get lost.
Replied By: stayintouch247 on Aug 13, 2009, 8:06PM
If they take a few minutes to think if a man wanted to they could report sexual harassment and if the bar or club or street corner where their are cameras they are screwed theirs the proof now you have new jewelry hand cuffs and register as a sex offender so Lady's think about what you do.   

Replied By: panzas1010 on Aug 13, 2009, 1:27PM
What still baffles me about this issue is that it's only a problem of the women who feel jealous, threatened, or intimidated by it.  If they are insecure, that's nobody's problem but their own.  If they are scared that these women who, unfortunately, feel they need to resort to these tactics for attention, are actually going to take their men away from them, well, then, maybe he's not exactly "relationship material".  Whaddaya think?!! 

Grow up and get over it.  Move past it because there will always be women like this in the world.  They're not going away.  And men will always be sensory creatures.  The quality of your relationship is based on a lot more than a man paying temporary attention to something that is right in front of his face!!!  Jeez, catch a clue women and deal with your own insecurity issues.  If you had a good, healthy, strong relationship with your man and were confident in yourself, it would be a moot point, wouldln't it? 
Replied By: addyanne on Aug 13, 2009, 12:20PM
I just saw your repeat from 2002 Is flirting good clean fun show where Heather came back to ask why women act catty to her. Please let her know I don't think it's her with the problem, I think it's the rest of the women in the world. She is pretty and seems to be a genuinely nice person. There are a lot of women who are threatened by that and jealous of her.
As for anything she can do, I just think it will take more of an effort on her part to make female friends. I don't know what she can do specifically though, just to keep being true to herself!
Replied By: hulagirl1 on Aug 7, 2009, 8:39PM - In reply to cxb602
I have friends who never would have gone after someone else's husband or even boyfriend when they were young and cute and had plenty of men after them. Now that they're older and fatter, their behavior shocks me. It's shown me a different side to women like this-- I wasn't surprised when you said the woman wasn't attractive--- they are desperate and pathetic. She deserved to get used and discarded like the sociopathic ho she presented herself as. As for the husband, I would tell him you consider yourself to have two "passes" to flings. Let him carry some of the same uncertainty he's given you. He doesn't deserve to enjoy feelings of security. I believe that although he is sorry in a way, he also gets a big ego boost from thinking he's such hot stuff that you're worried. They get what they've done to you when it's done back to them. Just my opinion, and I know plenty of people would disagree with me. Good luck.
Replied By: cxb602 on Aug 7, 2009, 6:42PM - In reply to sockhock
My heart goes out to you. I've been there. Actually, I'm there now. My husband of 18 years recently admitted to me that throughout our marriage he has had 2 affairs. Not emotional,  'just' sex...as if you can put 'just' behind that word when you are married. I listened to his stories, did NOT take his word for any of it (even though he confessed). I contacted both of these women and listened to their stories. They each knew he was married with 2 children. That was all they knew of our life together.

Surprisingly, the first one admitted to "relentlessly persuing" my husband. She said he always felt so guilty, and made it very clear that he loved me, had no reason to cheat, and he would never leave me. She went on to tell me that she would say things in front of others (while he was in the area) that if someone decides to have sex, and if they keep their mouths shut, no one has to know. She continued with the innuendos, and when her desperate behaviour didn't lure him in, she called him and said (very crudely) that if he would show up at her house for lunch, she would give him oral sex. After months of being preened by her, he made his mistake. They had sex about 8 times(during his 1/2 hr lunch break), and he remembers it all (this was 9 years ago) because he hated it, he hated his behaviour. She was not attractive. He is the first to admit it. He objectified while in the act. So, she was treated how she presented herself. He used her,but was also afraid of her actions.  She turned obsessive very quickly. He actually had to use an exit strategy, to make it easier for himself, of course, but also so that she would back off.

All of this because of flirting! This is simplified of course, but really, without the flirting, this would not have happened. As for the second involvement, different details, same stupid story. Although this all happened years ago, I am grieving NOW. I am struggling to heal, and it's not easy. People are falliible, that's for certain. But, to go out and not have any concern about hurting innocent people, innocent families, that is completely unforgiveable.

This is my first message or response ever on a site. Before I'm torn apart for anything, I want to make it very clear that I do NOT excuse my husband for his actions. He was an adult and he made his choices. The interesting thing is that there was nothing amiss in our marriage through any of this. He had issues that he is now dealing with. I have to wonder what women like this hope to gain from their desperate power searches?! Pathetic at best.
Replied By: kellyg424 on Aug 7, 2009, 2:20PM
It was very amazing to me that each of the "flirting bandits" said..."I dont get along well with other women". Well I wonder why. What woman with a natural shred of self respect would want me be friends with someone that prides their self on male attention. There is more to life then gaining acceptaince from men. I myself would not keep company with someone that plays a "game" where you go around kissing random men.  That alone would make you look horrible in the public eye. I enjoy going out with my girlfriends myself. I do not have to dress trashy, kiss random men, or flip my hair to get attention from a man.  That might explain why I actually get attention of men that want more then just sex from me because I put out the image that I am worth much more then that. Maybe if they would try to get some place with more then there sexual and flirting assets, the only friends they had wouldnt just be men.
Replied By: karmachameleon on Aug 7, 2009, 1:29PM
It seems everyone engaged in flirting is missing the primary point: it is a narcissistic, selfish act. Once we mature to the point that we begin to take responsibility for the effect of our actions on others, then most of us cease engaging in silly, juvenile behavior such as pranks and flirting.

It's a simple matter of respect for others, and a fundamental tenet of a well-functioning society.
Replied By: casey91 on Aug 7, 2009, 11:29AM

   Flirting can be fine in the right way.  But these woman are saying they do not care about hurting another woman.
   I agree the Husband  is the one who made the vow. 

   But why do woman have to hurt another to feel good?  To me that is very Low-self Esteem.

   When they get someone they really care about or marry, I would love to see them when a Woman like them make absolute fool's  of themselve's.

   It sound's like they think it is a game , even w/Married men. Of course the Man or Woman who cheat's and are in a Relationship, Married or just Dating.

   But why hurt another woman?  To they think they are so irrestible that they can bet any guy.

   Please , I don't want to sound mean, but I would admit if someone ; male or female is attractive.

    Do they really think that ; ' THEY ARE ALL THAT ' PLEASE!!

    Sound's like they are still stuck in the Highschoold mode.

    One last thing , so they get a married man, what happen's when they get married, they know how they are know, but when the shoe is on the other foot - I think they will have a huge problem.

    And a Woman like them may be making a play on someone very important to them, and they know what they have done in the past , as my Nana use to say ; " What Goes Around , Come's Around"!

    I think they are going to have a huge eye-opening experience.

   Just one woman to another, Grow up - HighSchool  is over and they are truly  in for a wide awakeing.


    I am all for a Woman feeling good about herself, but not at the cost of another
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