You have it better than you know. How you handle the future is up to you. Are you financially ready to be on your own? If not, do what you do and say nothing is my thought. your stuck buck wise and he's given you the green light.
I was involved in a similar relation involving young kids and got out alive. Good to hear you have too!
In summary, the mother of my sons behaivior seems to mirror your stbx's. I refer to her behaivor as a, "Spinning bottle of hate." i finally figured out the obvious and it made sence. Since her and I went to sleep and woke up in the same home I was the natural choice the majority of the time by default.
One example was upon returning by airplane from a business trip on Thanksgiving, she threatened that if I came home for T-day she would "hurt herself and have me arrested." As hurt as I was and missing my newborn son, still I checked into a local hotel. A few hours, in an effort to try to go home for later I called her sister who was in attendence. I shared the story and she assured me to come home was ok (It was my home only I bought prior to our relation and we were not married). Upon arriving, she gave me the look of the Devil. I rkept my cool, made myself a plate, and going to the fridge to get a drink, she sprayed my food with windex. Multiply this kind of treatment by 6 years.
Finally, after having two sons together, and more of the same, I left my home staying at my aunts. She had my home and the kids (hers and ours).
After failed negotion to have her move (pay her way out to the tune of 10k and 30 days as mtg and all bills were in my name only. She countered with 20k and 90 days. The next day, my friend dragged my crying barely alive person to a family attorney. I paid him 5k. She was ordered to leave the home. I finally got to my home safe and have weekends with my then toddler sons (1 and 3yrs.)
Within a couple months, our two kids, her new man, her new pregnancy, her lifestyle were more responsability than she cared to take on. She no-showed 4 months to pick up the kids at the local PD waiting room. I documented it with court order violations signed/stamped at each no show. I went to court and was awarded sole custody.
They are 14 and 16 today. Their mom isnt a part of our lives. Once in a while b-day card or call, thats about it. I have kept the boys safe maintaining a residence that is current on the mortgage to this day through these times.
Cut your losses or she will do worse. Perhaps lock you up. Do not be alone with her under any circumstance. Request that the judge order all child exchanges at local PD waiting room. Its actually real popular and drama free. Its a safe place.
Keep God closest in your heart, and your mouth closed. Be greateful this woman didnt hurt you more and know that any thought of guilt, getting back with her are spiritually wrong for you. To this day, I do not hate that woman as she gave me the two best thing in my life. I am glad to be away and safe. See I had to save myself before I could help the kids.
Mine was the same, she found joy in destroying joy. there was no saving it. It was get out or spiritually die and become non-functional, or worse.
Heed these words my friend, they worked for me and your starting out way ahead of where I did as she has already been arrested for DV. Go for full custody, restraining order, PD drop off's pick ups and specify (if you dont feel she is a legal driver) that she provides that at PD pick ups for your kids safety.
I was involved in a similar relation involving young kids and got out alive. Good to hear you have too!
In summary, the mother of my sons behaivior seems to mirror your stbx's. I refer to her behaivor as a, "Spinning bottle of hate." i finally figured out the obvious and it made sence. Since her and I went to sleep and woke up in the same home I was the natural choice the majority of the time by default.
One example was upon returning by airplane from a business trip on Thanksgiving, she threatened that if I came home for T-day she would "hurt herself and have me arrested." As hurt as I was and missing my newborn son, still I checked into a local hotel. A few hours, in an effort to try to go home for later I called her sister who was in attendence. I shared the story and she assured me to come home was ok (It was my home only I bought prior to our relation and we were not married). Upon arriving, she gave me the look of the Devil. I rkept my cool, made myself a plate, and going to the fridge to get a drink, she sprayed my food with windex. Multiply this kind of treatment by 6 years.
Finally, after having two sons together, and more of the same, I left my home staying at my aunts. She had my home and the kids (hers and ours).
After failed negotion to have her move (pay her way out to the tune of 10k and 30 days as mtg and all bills were in my name only. She countered with 20k and 90 days. The next day, my friend dragged my crying barely alive person to a family attorney. I paid him 5k. She was ordered to leave the home. I finally got to my home safe and have weekends with my then toddler sons (1 and 3yrs.)
Within a couple months, our two kids, her new man, her new pregnancy, her lifestyle were more responsability than she cared to take on. She no-showed 4 months to pick up the kids at the local PD waiting room. I documented it with court order violations signed/stamped at each no show. I went to court and was awarded sole custody.
They are 14 and 16 today. Their mom isnt a part of our lives. Once in a while b-day card or call, thats about it. I have kept the boys safe maintaining a residence that is current on the mortgage to this day through these times.
Cut your losses or she will do worse. Perhaps lock you up. Do not be alone with her under any circumstance. Request that the judge order all child exchanges at local PD waiting room. Its actually real popular and drama free. Its a safe place.
Keep God closest in your heart, and your mouth closed. Be greateful this woman didnt hurt you more and know that any thought of guilt, getting back with her are spiritually wrong for you. To this day, I do not hate that woman as she gave me the two best thing in my life. I am glad to be away and safe. See I had to save myself before I could help the kids.
Mine was the same, she found joy in destroying joy. there was no saving it. It was get out or spiritually die and become non-functional, or worse.
Heed these words my friend, they worked for me and your starting out way ahead of where I did as she has already been arrested for DV. Go for full custody, restraining order, PD drop off's pick ups and specify (if you dont feel she is a legal driver) that she provides that at PD pick ups for your kids safety.
In 2002, I started dating the love of my life. I thought she was everything I had ever wanted in a woman. We were married in 2004. We have three children together. In December, after an ugly fight, she told me she didn’t want to be married any more. I filed in January. She seems fine. I am devastated.
A little history. She was working in a shop and I was professional. It did not bother me. I saw the beauty I thought she had inside. As we dated, cracks appeared. She was unconcerned with things that were important to me. The day of our engagment she missed a morning worship service because she stayed up to late with a friend. She completely missed my 20th birthday two weeks before we were to be married. She started kicking and punching my truck cd player because she was angry with me and on numerous occasions she threatened to jump out of the car because she was angry at me for one thing or another.
After our wedding, I thought things would be idyllic. Our money was always mismanaged though. She received a 2 AM ohone call from a single man. We became pregnant the following year nad things got worse. She hit me with food and a drink in a drive though after I failed to get the proper sauce for her nuggets. She kicked me in my bad knee as I held our son. She punched me in the face on Christmas night as I held our son. In 2008, I took out a 5,000 dollar loan because she developed a hydrocodone addiction. She stole from my mother and others. She came back and I discovered clandestine correspondence between her and a single man. We became pregnant with twins and needed a bigger home and vehicle. She forced me into renting a home that ended up costing us twenty thousand dollars in taxes over the yars wee lived there. I was against it but she refused to come home unless I signed the lease.
Things got better for awhile. This past year it got worse. She ha stopped having an interest in sex with me years before. It intensified and I became more frustrated. I became surly and sad. We fought every weekend and she became for violent. She started clawing me, hitting, me and kicking me in the genitals. She told me she wished they would fall off so that I wouldn’t want to have sex with her. These fights happened once a month and they were brutal for me.
After one such ugly one in December, she told me she didn’t want to be married any more. I fought it . I begged for counseling. I begged for us to go and talk to our pastor. She said she couldn’t stand me, she didn’t have anything because of me, and that she wished I were dead because this would be easier then.
I tried to figure this out until January when I discovered she had been texting two single men hundreds of times a day. She printed up divorce papers and was going to have me served. We fought she threatened me with not seeing my sons if I fought for them and lost. She said she married me because she thought I would have money to take care of her and that she read you should always marry someone that loves you more than you love them.
She also said I was lousy in bed because I couldn’t make her orgasm and we had to do it through other means.
She hit me one final time; I decided enough was enough and called the police. She was arrested, We are still in the process of figring out custody. It could go either way.
Now, I am by no means a saint. I defended myself a couple of times when she came at me. I said some awful things that I never should have said and I behaved in an appalling fashion during arguments; however, I believe we should have fought for ourselves and the boys. The terrible truth that I cannot tell my family is that if she would, I would take her back. We would need extensive counseling, but I would for the boys and us.
The terrible thing is she seems happy with the dissolution of our marriage and I feel crushed.
Odd thing is, my credit score has improved and I’m healthier than I’ve been in ten years. I would love to have my family back and healthy. I don't think it was ever healthy though. I need help.
my exhusband and I broke up 9 months ago, and i've started seeing other people. but because of our weird situation, I still have to live with him. he's in the military so he can't "cheat" cuz if they find out he gets kicked out. but he's ok'd me to see other people cuz he broke it off. but lately I feel super suspicious and jealous when he says he's going out and he takes longer or didn't answer his phone. we are trying for a friendship cuz of our daughter, and while I feel most days i'm over him, I know he is the one I lost that was the love of my life. am I crazy for being jealous when i've seen other people and even though he swears he's not, and knows I wouldn't tell if he did? I just feel like i'm nuts and have had to stop myself multiple times from checking his face book and his phone. I know we're over but its driving me mad. what should I do? I have one more month till I get to move out and Idk if I can stand it much longer
Having gone through this myself, i learnt quickly that the women are only seeking a sperm bank and a bank account to drain. I had 17 court cases and i finally ended up with 1.5 hours visitation on tuesday and thursday evenings and having my kids at a sleepover every other weekend........ Women that have kids these days in general are like the wicked queen from cinderalla...They want to use the guys and that is it. One time due to a couple of red lights, i got the kids home 3.07 minutes after 7.30 to which my visitation ended...My ex stood out at the front door with a camera pointed to the driveway and her wristwatch was in the picture.....When i came in she snapped the picture and accused me of breech of court orders and then had proof i got them home late....I hesitated to see the children as the amount of abuse i may encounter is not worth it. She is on the single mothers pension, she gets all her lawyers fees and court costs for free. Discounted pharmacy goods, bills etc etc etc and I had to pay tens of thousands of dollars in court costs which in the long run could have been used for the children, like buying a car each once they reached 18, schooling or college &r other things. As this was in australia, the government there only sides with the mother and all fathers can rot. This is going by experience. As we separated on 5th June 1999 at 7.31 pm, a lot of time has flown under the bridge.....I wish my ex all the pain and suffering that the world can possibly offer. I suppose the pain could = the japanese bamboo fingernail torture done in WW2 to the prisoners....There is no way i want to see my ex on a slab as i want her to suffer with the severe injury that will make her heart cripple for life. In my eyes suddam hussein ( but not bin laden ) is an angel compared to my ex. My advice to all young guys considering marriage and having children IS DONT!!!! Just screw or root the women ( with protection of course ) and dont worry about the women as they will definately never worry about you. Get onto the next one and so on and so on. Just enjoy yourself first because the womens enjoyment is COURT HEARINGS and stealing YOUR WEALTH. In the long run , if you do marry, you will curse yourself you ever thought of it...These days are not like the pre 1970's....Divorce is too easily come by and as this is so, women in general instead of fingernails, have tallons like an eagle ready to swoop down for the kill......On top of that my advice to men paying child support, try to not have a job and simply collect unemployment as child support cannot be collected from one who does not have a steady job....At least that is how it is in australia. You wont get visitation so why give her any money. If the guys do have a steady job, ask the employer to lower the wages, so she does not get much. Just remember guys, if you dont earn the money, you are then not obliged to pay a thing. Realistically you would not be appreciated by the women with what ever you do. If you have a will you can do the same as i did..I stated in my will that i leave to my ex wife and 2 children the lowest demoniation of currency at tthe time of my death, or just $1.00 each.....( There was a movie in the 1970's called QBV11. It was about castration of jewish folk in WW2...The person was found guilty of that crime and was fined a farthing as that was the lowest denomoination of money for such a low crime. ) That way no court can say they were forgotton about. As the children made no effort to see the fathers place that account in the will but to be split up between all the kids.....No matter what us fathers do, we are always pounded to the floor by the kids mothers and really if the children dont want to have anything to do with us dads due to their mothers blackening our names. Why on earth should we leave much to them..Their mother will still deny you visitation rights with no matter what decent thing you do.....As the saying goes....treat it like " Hoist on your own Pettard " Do unto the mothers as they do unto you..Like in a war you have to stab before getting stabbed or shoot first before being shot. For every ounce of pain those women put us men through, make sure the men do it to them but 100 times fold..This is not physically but mentally or through the heart. Physical wounds will heal but mental ones dont. Every drip of sweat and anguish the women get out of the men, make sure the men get a bucket load out of the women. I never used to be this wicked but laws of today side so much with the women ( especially in Australia ) and the guys are taken to the cleaners so badly both financially and via the children as the kids are used as pawns. The mothers would rather have their new boyfriends ( possibly paedophiles ) stay in the house than the real fathers. As you can see i separated in 1999 but the hatred towards my ex is so strong to this day in 2012 and i will more than likely take it to my grave. One of these days my kids will want me and i simply remind them of what they did to me in their early years by not speaking up to their mother.
So I don't know if this falls under parenting or divorce.
I recently got a divorce and have been seperated for almost a year, and the divorce was final a couple months ago. There is a 4 year old daughter, and we were married becuase we had a child together.
I have been dating one of his old friends and have known the guy for about 5 years now. we have been dating for almost a year.
My question is "is it okay for him to spend the night on nights that i have my daughter." she is used to people sleeping on the couch, (even when we were married are friends would spend the night, including my current boyfriend)
I ask her all the time if it is okay for him to come eat dinner with us, and she says yes and sometimes she says no. if she says no, then he doesn't come over.
My ex is furious about him staying the night. even though he is gone before she is awake. ( he works early) he says im a bad mom, and our daughter is going to end up prego at the age of 18. I got prego when i was 18 by what is now my ex. my ex even called my boyfriend.
My boyfriend and i have been taking it slow, we see no need to rush into anything, but we just enjoy sleeping next to each other. he always comes to my house, he and my daughter get along. I told him just to be her firend, and not try to act like her dad cause she already has one. we are in a happy healthy realationship. We do not kiss infront of her or hug or anything yet.
my daughter was 3 when the seperation took place, and she knows she is loved by both parents. we have tried to keep everything in her life the same, set for two different households. she i have to say has adjusted well. she loves my house, and her "new bed"
please is my ex just still trying to controll me or am I in the wrong?
I am so sorry for all your pain,but had some questions.Who do you spent Christmas,mothersday,thankgiving and other special days with? So what you are saying is even lil girls need their moms and dads in their lifes and they need a loving mom and dad? even if its just a friend acting like a loving mom and loving dad?
I understand what you have been through and are still going through. I lived with a narcisstic man for 40 years. The chaos was unbearable and it never stopped. It was so draining, but I finally figured out that the narcisstic person will never change, you have to make the decision that trying to have any kind of a relationship with a narcisstic person is impossible. The control, the abuse, the accusations, the blame game can eat you alive if you let it.
During our 37 years of marriage I can't tell you how many times I left, how many times I filed for divorce. Every time he would profess he would change and swear how much he loved me and every time I let him convince me that I should stay. I finally stopped catering to his every whim and he finally divorced me. I had to let him think the divorce was his idea and he still had control. That was 10 years ago. It has been lonely, but peaceful.
If you would like to talk to someone that has 'been there' I am available. Kathy
Stay busy not jealous.
You have your cake and are eating it too!
With his atitude, its easy to see why you are no longer a couple.
No one ever signed up to be a single parent.
We all need to love and live and being adults, we sleep together if we are in love.
Paper and minds like his are doing more damage than good.
He should be greatful he knows the guy and its not some wierdo or mutiple men like some stories we hear.
Carry on.
I was involved in a similar relation involving young kids and got out alive. Good to hear you have too!
In summary, the mother of my sons behaivior seems to mirror your stbx's. I refer to her behaivor as a, "Spinning bottle of hate." i finally figured out the obvious and it made sence. Since her and I went to sleep and woke up in the same home I was the natural choice the majority of the time by default.
One example was upon returning by airplane from a business trip on Thanksgiving, she threatened that if I came home for T-day she would "hurt herself and have me arrested." As hurt as I was and missing my newborn son, still I checked into a local hotel. A few hours, in an effort to try to go home for later I called her sister who was in attendence. I shared the story and she assured me to come home was ok (It was my home only I bought prior to our relation and we were not married). Upon arriving, she gave me the look of the Devil. I rkept my cool, made myself a plate, and going to the fridge to get a drink, she sprayed my food with windex. Multiply this kind of treatment by 6 years.
Finally, after having two sons together, and more of the same, I left my home staying at my aunts. She had my home and the kids (hers and ours).
After failed negotion to have her move (pay her way out to the tune of 10k and 30 days as mtg and all bills were in my name only. She countered with 20k and 90 days. The next day, my friend dragged my crying barely alive person to a family attorney. I paid him 5k. She was ordered to leave the home. I finally got to my home safe and have weekends with my then toddler sons (1 and 3yrs.)
Within a couple months, our two kids, her new man, her new pregnancy, her lifestyle were more responsability than she cared to take on. She no-showed 4 months to pick up the kids at the local PD waiting room. I documented it with court order violations signed/stamped at each no show. I went to court and was awarded sole custody.
They are 14 and 16 today. Their mom isnt a part of our lives. Once in a while b-day card or call, thats about it. I have kept the boys safe maintaining a residence that is current on the mortgage to this day through these times.
Cut your losses or she will do worse. Perhaps lock you up. Do not be alone with her under any circumstance. Request that the judge order all child exchanges at local PD waiting room. Its actually real popular and drama free. Its a safe place.
Keep God closest in your heart, and your mouth closed. Be greateful this woman didnt hurt you more and know that any thought of guilt, getting back with her are spiritually wrong for you. To this day, I do not hate that woman as she gave me the two best thing in my life. I am glad to be away and safe. See I had to save myself before I could help the kids.
Mine was the same, she found joy in destroying joy. there was no saving it. It was get out or spiritually die and become non-functional, or worse.
Heed these words my friend, they worked for me and your starting out way ahead of where I did as she has already been arrested for DV. Go for full custody, restraining order, PD drop off's pick ups and specify (if you dont feel she is a legal driver) that she provides that at PD pick ups for your kids safety.
God bless the children
I was involved in a similar relation involving young kids and got out alive. Good to hear you have too!
In summary, the mother of my sons behaivior seems to mirror your stbx's. I refer to her behaivor as a, "Spinning bottle of hate." i finally figured out the obvious and it made sence. Since her and I went to sleep and woke up in the same home I was the natural choice the majority of the time by default.
One example was upon returning by airplane from a business trip on Thanksgiving, she threatened that if I came home for T-day she would "hurt herself and have me arrested." As hurt as I was and missing my newborn son, still I checked into a local hotel. A few hours, in an effort to try to go home for later I called her sister who was in attendence. I shared the story and she assured me to come home was ok (It was my home only I bought prior to our relation and we were not married). Upon arriving, she gave me the look of the Devil. I rkept my cool, made myself a plate, and going to the fridge to get a drink, she sprayed my food with windex. Multiply this kind of treatment by 6 years.
Finally, after having two sons together, and more of the same, I left my home staying at my aunts. She had my home and the kids (hers and ours).
After failed negotion to have her move (pay her way out to the tune of 10k and 30 days as mtg and all bills were in my name only. She countered with 20k and 90 days. The next day, my friend dragged my crying barely alive person to a family attorney. I paid him 5k. She was ordered to leave the home. I finally got to my home safe and have weekends with my then toddler sons (1 and 3yrs.)
Within a couple months, our two kids, her new man, her new pregnancy, her lifestyle were more responsability than she cared to take on. She no-showed 4 months to pick up the kids at the local PD waiting room. I documented it with court order violations signed/stamped at each no show. I went to court and was awarded sole custody.
They are 14 and 16 today. Their mom isnt a part of our lives. Once in a while b-day card or call, thats about it. I have kept the boys safe maintaining a residence that is current on the mortgage to this day through these times.
Cut your losses or she will do worse. Perhaps lock you up. Do not be alone with her under any circumstance. Request that the judge order all child exchanges at local PD waiting room. Its actually real popular and drama free. Its a safe place.
Keep God closest in your heart, and your mouth closed. Be greateful this woman didnt hurt you more and know that any thought of guilt, getting back with her are spiritually wrong for you. To this day, I do not hate that woman as she gave me the two best thing in my life. I am glad to be away and safe. See I had to save myself before I could help the kids.
Mine was the same, she found joy in destroying joy. there was no saving it. It was get out or spiritually die and become non-functional, or worse.
Heed these words my friend, they worked for me and your starting out way ahead of where I did as she has already been arrested for DV. Go for full custody, restraining order, PD drop off's pick ups and specify (if you dont feel she is a legal driver) that she provides that at PD pick ups for your kids safety.
God bless the children
A little history. She was working in a shop and I was professional. It did not bother me. I saw the beauty I thought she had inside. As we dated, cracks appeared. She was unconcerned with things that were important to me. The day of our engagment she missed a morning worship service because she stayed up to late with a friend. She completely missed my 20th birthday two weeks before we were to be married. She started kicking and punching my truck cd player because she was angry with me and on numerous occasions she threatened to jump out of the car because she was angry at me for one thing or another.
After our wedding, I thought things would be idyllic. Our money was always mismanaged though. She received a 2 AM ohone call from a single man. We became pregnant the following year nad things got worse. She hit me with food and a drink in a drive though after I failed to get the proper sauce for her nuggets. She kicked me in my bad knee as I held our son. She punched me in the face on Christmas night as I held our son. In 2008, I took out a 5,000 dollar loan because she developed a hydrocodone addiction. She stole from my mother and others. She came back and I discovered clandestine correspondence between her and a single man. We became pregnant with twins and needed a bigger home and vehicle. She forced me into renting a home that ended up costing us twenty thousand dollars in taxes over the yars wee lived there. I was against it but she refused to come home unless I signed the lease.
Things got better for awhile. This past year it got worse. She ha stopped having an interest in sex with me years before. It intensified and I became more frustrated. I became surly and sad. We fought every weekend and she became for violent. She started clawing me, hitting, me and kicking me in the genitals. She told me she wished they would fall off so that I wouldn’t want to have sex with her. These fights happened once a month and they were brutal for me.
After one such ugly one in December, she told me she didn’t want to be married any more. I fought it . I begged for counseling. I begged for us to go and talk to our pastor. She said she couldn’t stand me, she didn’t have anything because of me, and that she wished I were dead because this would be easier then.
I tried to figure this out until January when I discovered she had been texting two single men hundreds of times a day. She printed up divorce papers and was going to have me served. We fought she threatened me with not seeing my sons if I fought for them and lost. She said she married me because she thought I would have money to take care of her and that she read you should always marry someone that loves you more than you love them.
She also said I was lousy in bed because I couldn’t make her orgasm and we had to do it through other means.
She hit me one final time; I decided enough was enough and called the police. She was arrested, We are still in the process of figring out custody. It could go either way.
Now, I am by no means a saint. I defended myself a couple of times when she came at me. I said some awful things that I never should have said and I behaved in an appalling fashion during arguments; however, I believe we should have fought for ourselves and the boys. The terrible truth that I cannot tell my family is that if she would, I would take her back. We would need extensive counseling, but I would for the boys and us.
The terrible thing is she seems happy with the dissolution of our marriage and I feel crushed.
Odd thing is, my credit score has improved and I’m healthier than I’ve been in ten years. I would love to have my family back and healthy. I don't think it was ever healthy though. I need help.
I recently got a divorce and have been seperated for almost a year, and the divorce was final a couple months ago. There is a 4 year old daughter, and we were married becuase we had a child together.
I have been dating one of his old friends and have known the guy for about 5 years now. we have been dating for almost a year.
My question is "is it okay for him to spend the night on nights that i have my daughter." she is used to people sleeping on the couch, (even when we were married are friends would spend the night, including my current boyfriend)
I ask her all the time if it is okay for him to come eat dinner with us, and she says yes and sometimes she says no. if she says no, then he doesn't come over.
My ex is furious about him staying the night. even though he is gone before she is awake. ( he works early) he says im a bad mom, and our daughter is going to end up prego at the age of 18. I got prego when i was 18 by what is now my ex. my ex even called my boyfriend.
My boyfriend and i have been taking it slow, we see no need to rush into anything, but we just enjoy sleeping next to each other. he always comes to my house, he and my daughter get along. I told him just to be her firend, and not try to act like her dad cause she already has one. we are in a happy healthy realationship. We do not kiss infront of her or hug or anything yet.
my daughter was 3 when the seperation took place, and she knows she is loved by both parents. we have tried to keep everything in her life the same, set for two different households. she i have to say has adjusted well. she loves my house, and her "new bed"
please is my ex just still trying to controll me or am I in the wrong?
I understand what you have been through and are still going through. I lived with a narcisstic man for 40 years. The chaos was unbearable and it never stopped. It was so draining, but I finally figured out that the narcisstic person will never change, you have to make the decision that trying to have any kind of a relationship with a narcisstic person is impossible. The control, the abuse, the accusations, the blame game can eat you alive if you let it.
During our 37 years of marriage I can't tell you how many times I left, how many times I filed for divorce. Every time he would profess he would change and swear how much he loved me and every time I let him convince me that I should stay. I finally stopped catering to his every whim and he finally divorced me. I had to let him think the divorce was his idea and he still had control. That was 10 years ago. It has been lonely, but peaceful.
If you would like to talk to someone that has 'been there' I am available. Kathy