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on Jun 18, 2013, 2:05PM
i was in a relationship with the father of my son for 4yrs. him and i have had many issues, hes always gotten physical with me till one night it got really bad we was taken into custody and did as lil as a month in prison there was a criminal protective order placed by the court for 4 yrs. 2 years have passed we came back into contact and again found myself back in the cycle i believe he loves me and i love him but he tends to intimidate me and stalk me as soon as i just try to break things because im more afraid to have my child taken away than anything but the cycle doesnt seem to end, hes now willing to go to therapy and so am i to try to save our relationship do you think we could ever be happy? this has taken a toll in my life
Having a hard time
on Jun 10, 2013, 2:51PM
I feel bad for what this girl is going through but the poor pity me act I'm not buying. I don't think she wants things to change possibly because she is so used to being abused. Typical battered wife. Run as fast as you can girl and get some serious help.
on Jun 2, 2013, 3:37AM
OK first of all where are the tears from the mother she acts as tho she is crying put no tears. She is a liar and self absorb. Why do women stay with molesters I don't get it. She needs an Oscar because she is a great actress. She is only the show so she can clear her name.
My taken innocence
on Jun 1, 2013, 10:17PM
My stepfather sexually abided me for 8 years till he dead of cancer . How do you forgive someone who has died ?but I'm trying to forgive. I make it thorough knowing God makes all things work together for the good for those who love the Lord Romans 8:28 . So the abuse I went through makes me a better stronger person today . It makes me more compassionate toward others and appreciate things .also it made me a better mom and more protective over my children . I learned to look at the good in all things . I had little counseling but would like more but can't afford it So I turn to God to hemoremore
I was abused..
on Jun 1, 2013, 4:53AM
For 11 years I was abused by my step father. He also abused some of my friends when I was younger. I remember not wanting my friends to ever spend the night at our house because I knew he'd come walking into my room after my mom went to sleep.
At the age of 13 I went to my mom and told her he was touching me and she grounded me for a month to my room for lying.
At 16 I tried to kill myself because he always said if I told anyone he'd kill my family so I felt I was better off dead than my family... well as it turns out that was utterly stupid because most of my family turned their backs on me when they found out he was going to prison for child sexual abuse.
I'm 39 now.. I've had lots of support, great therepists.. I still deal with clinical depression and I have MS but I'm not a victim. I honestly hate that word. None of us are victims because one way or another we learn to survive. I'm so thankful for the CPS worker who stepped in on my behave, the detectives, and my Aunt, Uncle and Cousin who all accepted me immediatly into their home .. they loved me, supported me and helped me see what a real family is like. In just 3 short years of living with them I know life was nothing like what I lived with before.
My step dad would beat my brother and my mom but buy me anything I wanted.. it was crazy. Yeah I hate him but I'm not afraid of him. I'm more afraid of what my reaction would be if I were to see him again.
To all of the others
out there.. stay strong!
Self absorbed mother....
on May 31, 2013, 8:01PM
A real mother puts her children safety, happiness and security first in her life AND will do what needs to be done to achieve that.
I'm sure we're all pretty appalled at the rediculous behavior of this mother. Her daughter is more mature and aware than she is.
This woman is no better than her husband. Her daughter needs to realize that you can't choose your family.
Honey...if your mother and father were horrible parents....just make sure you do better with your children. Surround yourself with wonderful people and forget your parents.
on May 31, 2013, 6:20PM
I was abused while growing up. I didn't get help and my daughter suffered the same fate. when she told me, i acted immediately, and turned in the abuser. when she was older, it happened again. i was the one who told police where to find the abuser, same person - my oldest son. I've been told that it can be a never ending cycle if there isn't intervention. Get the help, get the counseling. Get better. End the cycle. May God bless the survivors, us people who will never forget the smells, the touches, the shame (unwarranted), the fear, the pain.
Unending sexual abuse
on May 31, 2013, 4:21PM
My step-father just passed away 6 days ago. I stayed for the closing of the casket. I said my own silent prayer that he rot in hell! I was sexually abused from the time I was 5 until I ran away at 16. My mother knew. He actually went to jail for abusung another child, and she stuck by him. To this day...including the day of the funeral, she does not acknowledge it.
This show is important for me...to see how other survivors di ti. How they dealt with it.
This mother should rot in hell as well!!! SHE CAN'T EVEN SHED A DAMN TEAR!!!!!
ERIN...YOUR MOTHER ISN'T CCEPTING ANY RESPONSIBLILITY!!!! YOU DO NOT NEED THAT!!!
Erin, may God bless you and help you over come the crimes commited against you. I myself am still struggling with the abuse, and I am 48 years old. I truly hope you find closure, as I am still wrestling with that very thing. May God bring your peace and comfort to move on with your life, your mother isn't going to give it to you!
YOU CAN FORGIVE
on May 31, 2013, 4:09PM
I was abused from 8 to almost 17, when I finally ran away from home. I was not raped, physically, during those years but touched very inappropriately, and beaten so badly that sometimes I could not go to school until some of the bruises went away. The abuser was my biological father. I would spend weekends and most of my summer vacations with him, his second wife, their 5 children and his mother and father. At other times, I was at my biological mother's home with her second husband and their 3 children. I also discovered the miracle of beer. I drank more and more as I got older. I never told my mother what was going on. I just thought she would know since she left him when he tried to kill her when she was 8 months pregnant with me. No one ever looked for me. I suppose each thought I was at the others. I worked days at a little restaurant so I always had food. Anyhow, when I was 18, I went on a date with a co-worker. I remember the first two drinks, then I woke up on a couch in a liitle backroom at his grandmother's house. That's where he lived. There was blood on a blanket he had thrown on the couch. I was no longer a virgin. He convinced me we were in love. We had sex on a pretty regular basis until I got pregnant. Then I convinced him to get married because my dad would kill him otherwise. I told him about the beatings. We had a little boy. Do you understand how far some people will go to know a parent loves them? I do. After our baby was about 5 months old, I went to the farm on a weekend because I thought everyone would be home and I could show them my son and my father would finally love me. Instead, he was the only one home and he was drunk. I put my son down on a little blanket and sat down at the kitchen table. My dad came up behind me and grabbed my breasts, dragging me off the chair and telling me he would show me how REAL man 'did it'. I was whimpering, crying please daddy, please no daddy until he dropped me on the floor. When my head hit I was knocked out. When I came to, my pants were half off and I was wet around my vagina. I pulled up my pants, grabbed my son and ran to the car and got out of there. The next day, was a Monday and I knew he would be at work. I went back to the farm to warn his wife and mother because I had a sister who was 5 years younger than I was. I wanted them to know what he did and watch out for her. Instead, they screamed at me that I was a liar, a whore, a bitch and I was no longer a part of the family. They told me to get off the property and never come back. I went back home and had a couple beers to 'feel better'. A year later I had my second son. My 'husband' wasn't at the hospital and I didn't know why until the next morning. Two policemen came to the hospital to let me know he was in jail for having sex with a teenage in a farmer's field. He ended up in prison and I got a divorce. I drank more to feel better. And more. When I was 22, I was in a terrible head-on car crash. I was a passenger and went through the windshield, my knees got caught in the dashboard and I was jerked back into the car. My throat was cut ear to ear and all the was down to the juglar. While I was there, my ex got out of prison and took me to court to get full custody of our two boys. He modeled himself as a reformed man who had paid his dues and was now married to an RN who had two boys the same ages as mine. They could give the kids a good home, while I was still in the hospital and would have to go on welfare when I got out. On and on. Finally the judge granted him full custody. Also while I was in the hospital, my father came up to my room and asked for my forgiveness while I was screaming for the nurses to get him out, get him out or I would call the police. my parting shot as he left the room was, "Why don't you just DIE, I hate you that much!" I got a call the next morning, telling me he had gone home and layed down on his mother's bed and put a shotgun in his mouth, using his toe to pull the trigger. He was dead. And I blamed myself for that too. When I got out of the hospital, a friend took me down to the town where the kids were. As I walked into the house, my ex's new wife was hitting my oldest son. I remember that and the next thing I remember is having her under me on the floor while I pounded her head on the floor, screaming that I would kill her if she ever hit either of my boys again. My ex pulled me off her and told me to get out or he would just call the police and press charges for battery. I left. The next weekend, I got a ride down and found they were gone. The whole family just disappeared. There was no forwarding address or anything to let me know where they went to. I went back home and called the police, social workers, anyone I could think of that might be able to find them. But without an address for them, they said there was nothing they could do. I married the man who was my friend and we moved to another town where he went to work on the police department. I got a job with a CPA. A few months later, I got a call from my ex. He said if I hung up the phone before he said I could, I would never see my kids alive again. He beat them while I listened, crying and screaming at him to stop. He finally got back on the phone and said I could hang up because he was going to. And he hang up. This went on for almost 3 years and during that time, my drinking went from social to alcoholic. Then one day my husband got a call from my ex's wife, saying he was gone and if I wanted my 'brats', I better get to Detroit because she was moving away and was not taking them along. My husband left within an hour. He would not let me go with him. He called that night and said they would be home in a couple days. He wanted the time for them to get to know him. He didn't tell me when he picked up the boys, he had to throw out the 'stinking bag' that held the few clothes they had. He didn't tell me they had been beaten, tortured, starved and were living in Detroit in January without shoes. And more. I bless the man I had married to at that time. He was the greatest guy I have ever know. But finally my drinking got so bad that I was messing around sexually with others in the department. Someone sat him down and told him. He couldn't handle it. We divorced and I moved to another town. Within a year, I lost the job I had gotten when we, my children and I, got into a little house. Eventually, I got fired. I went to work in a bar and even got fired from there. On March 3, 1973, I went into treatment for chronic alcoholism. I had no choice. I didn't want to believe I was an alcoholic, I could NOT admit I was an alcoholic. After treament, I went to a 12 step program and stayed sober for 5 months. Then started drinking again. I took my last drink in May of 1974. When I first started going to meetings, I used my dad as my excuse for my drinking. I blamed him for everything. I used to blame him and my life for everything I did wrong. It took me a few years to understand that he had had the same disease I did, that his lack of control was because of his drinking. He was a marine and while serving in the south Pacific during WWII, saw things no one should ever see. Drinking was his answer, just as it was mine. After I figured that out, I was able to finally forgive him. He had no more control than I had had. Forgiving him was the most incredibly healing experience I've ever had. I cried. I realized how much I wish I could have known him sober. Maybe when I move on to the next experience, after death, I will get that chance. I can only pray that it will be. I also pray that no one feels they can
Shocked Part 2
on May 31, 2013, 3:43PM
After reading many posts from you all, I am shocked at how many people have been abused, that it'd be physically, sexually or mentally-I don't call it verbally even though part of it can be verbal but not all the time. I am a victim too of the actually non verbal abuse. It was more psychological through body language more than words but when the words hit, they were on target. Abuse is about power and control whatever the reason for it is from the abuser's perspective. It does damage that is beyond description and trying to move on and fighting to reclaim yourself is truly-OK, I have no word for it. What helped me was to have my sons, my future as I call them, to nurture. I wanted them from conception to present time when I had to reclaim my inner power to get them in a positive direction regardless of how traumatized I was and still am- I don't trust any man anymore. We went through hell my boys and I and still are at some level. There is unfinished business that I can't solve for them (they are 27 and 25). But I can always be there for them. We are all damaged from it all considering the abuser, control freak is their dad but I think we work hard to get to a place where abuse is not tolerated and happiness is allowed. We ALL as victims MUST always remember that WE ARE NOT ALONE and break the cycle of isolation that gives the abuser CONTROL OVER YOU. it's a TEAM EFFORT. Love to You All
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