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Whether it's physical, sexual or verbal, abuse is unacceptable. Are you a survivor? How did you cope? Share your story.

If you believe you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

You can also find additional resources by clicking here.

Help end the silence on domestic violence.
Comments
Replied By: ravenlost1 on Jun 29, 2015, 6:41PM
 
ex.tenants joined.in on friendly bantering, of abuse.the tenant,.then act.as.if its.their fault,.all vouching.for one another...as some.you wont see.interact with each other....
 
Replied By: ravenlost1 on Jun 29, 2015, 6:35PM
 
Abuse is abuse,.each person has their own zero tolerance of it, no.charts or.graphs on how.people feel or.think.

ex.boss.at.ssb, was a.bully who harassed woman and a.few men, i.was his.7th victim,.made.sure he was being.taken out lightly, forced.out.of.his job t be made uncomfortable of no.severance package, around15-20 year career.

He had people get sick,.leave.for another job within or.outside
laid off, or walk out the door.,.unemployment etc.

wrongful termination and have.docs to prove...unemployment agreed in boston,

mental/abusive.bosses need red.carpet treatment.of there is.the door..how.he treated me and past her got back told.he walked out years later after me.

plus.they didnt like him, upper management called him.the red head step.child..
 
Replied By: dawnsunshinein on Jun 19, 2015, 7:35PM
My abuse started in 5th grade, so I was 10 years old.  The principle of the elementary school molested several of the young girls, one of them being me.  He called me into his office and would french kiss me.  I had no idea what he was doing, grossed me out.  I can still remember how gross he was.  This would be in the mid 1960's.  One of the girls told their mom and she called the other moms.  Long story short, no one believed us but our families.  We were allowed to change schools.  He transferred to another elementary school where the same thing happened again there.  Somewhere around age 12 a friends dad stuck his hand inside my robe, at the top, when passing in the hallway.  Age 14, a friend's dad did a gross gesture across the room from me with his tongue.  I hurried and left the room.  Needless to say, I have a very difficult time trusting ANY man.  How have I dealt with it?  As an older adult now I tell my story anytime I see a chance like this.  I will shout it from the roof tops for the world to hear and KNOW this happens.  I will tell everything except who the dad's were.  I would not want their families to be hurt with the dads being passed on now.  God bless you for the work you do Dr. Phil.
 
Replied By: tubamum on Jun 19, 2015, 11:31AM
Dr. Phil,

Is it possible that I was abused as a very young child and don't remember it?  I have had more than one councelor tell me they thought I had been sexually abused as a child.  I've been through your checklist and almost all apply, plus I become very upset when certain things happen to me.

Thanks
 
Replied By: larared31 on May 14, 2015, 3:34AM
I need help asap. I have a spouse thats a cop that they are protecting my childcren have been subjected and they are protecting him and its over for me
 
Replied By: gbeab711 on May 10, 2015, 8:41PM
About three years ago I was tested and came out PTSD. I am graduate-educated, articulate, employed, and yet I remain exceptionally alone. I do not act a victim so much as I have seen and experienced enough of a society in all areas of this country and in other countries that behave according to a heirarchy. If you have no family because of abuse and because of mental illness, and point blank if you have no family and you are a woman you are on the bottom and no one will show you more than that of yourself. Let me put it another way: I realize I had a trusting role, but why else would a professor confuse me fore a two-bit? Was it that I worked full time and attended graduate school full time? THat I had earned a BA at age 30? That I was not able to anwer the grooming questions early-on? The, what does your father/ mother do for a living? Where did you grow up? Any sibings?

 That was the last time, the fling after grraduation, and it was a complete violation of me without any regard I was anyone. I was an adult survivor of sexual abuse in fact and it is somewhat written all down the front of me. Not quite the way that when I was younger I did believe there was a marquee across my forehead. I suppose the nerves have deadened.

My challenge now, I am so very isolated, that any conversation I may have with someone at the community garden, or on an excursion (because I am trying somewhat to socialize yet deeply cringe over any question at all to do with me personally) ... I end up divulging too much.

I consider my lap swimming a kind of therapy. It's a meditation. It does clear my mind. I am in a terrible mood, awful, terrible, when an event closes the pool that I access and this will happen for over a week at a time two times a year. This is how entrenched I am to dive in as it were.

I have refused medications over the years after seeing what medication can do or did to my mentally ill mother (I don't need to pull out the laundry list). I saw medications as the wrong approach. I was sexually abused by my father. My sister was sexually abused by our father. There's estrangement I think because I am more a reminder for her of experiences neither of us quite know why (I do mean this) we were not killed by him. I do mean this.

Sure, I had my brush with addictions. I cleaned up, I traveled, I half starved for many years, I became educated. I saw how other people live. I saw other families. I have experienced a gulf wider than the gulf of Mexico in having any real idea what it means to have any kind of a parent or sibling. I did have an experience teaching a group of former foster youth who had made it into college and having been a former ward of the state (as one was called bacj when) I could entirely relate and I could engage them in learning. And I could do this without divulging anything. Mainly, after my parent's divorced because of he abuse and my mother lost custody of me to the state because her mental illness made her unable to care for me, I had been sent to live with a half sister and I had moved out by age 15 and have been on my own since then.  

I understand somewhat why the ribbon of pain comes out to be pulled in any conversation that edges on personal. I believe it's fear that drums it up. I believe the experiences I state tell the poor listener to leave me alone, to please be real careful. please.

How many times have I thought of killing myself? I was 10 the first time. My last truly long, long spell ended about four years ago. I made a move. It's sunnier here. It was flight. I was completely trapped, so I flew in place of taking my life. I suppose that's it.

I guess that's all. I would like to get past things I would like to end the trust issues that have never been resolved. Having no one is a grief that does not end and yet when can I grieve? as I am driving? in the truly demanding job I have? when I sleep? I don't have the answer. 

hmm.
 
Replied By: hreimer76 on Apr 25, 2015, 1:38PM
I have been watching Dr. Phil's shows of victim's stories about going through abuse, trauma etc and all the emotions that go with it. I was abused sexually as an infant (abuser told me) and lasted until I was 11-12. My mother and father knew about it...what did they do? Punish me for being an accomplice to this horrible, horrible evil sin...and then they left us kids alone at home every week or more than once a week and I knew what was going to happen, I think they did too...To this day, my family, including siblings, believe I should forgive and forget and be best buddies with abuser. I refuse to do so. Have I forgiven? Yes, in a way. I don't wish evil on anyone, but I do not have any contact with abuser and minimal with my family. To this day, some family members, including my parents will stick up for the perpetrator and cuss at the victims for not 'forgiving and forgetting the abuse' the way they think they should.                                                                                      

I have been hospitalized several times for suicidal reasons and have been diagnosed with PTSD, Major depression, pmdd, etc. I take different medications to help me through one day and to help me get some sleep..even though it is an evil nightmarish dreams every single night. Now I feel I am a little lost as to what to do and I will be very honest here, so excuse me if I am too explicit: I still deal with emotions as an adult, I am learning how to stand up for myself  and that has been difficult, I get almost in a rage when I hear of injustice, unfairness, abuse of any sort etc etc. I am not married, no kids and no significant other. I so badly would love to meet the love of my life, a gentle caring man. I have a sex addiction to wanting sex all the time with different men and I sometimes don't care if they are married or not.

I have a good paying job and am a university student at the same time. I live on my own, am responsible and take care of myself. However, not only sex addiction am I dealing with, but also I feel like I have a lot of child and teenager emotions and I am trapped in those emotions. I feel like I can't snap out of these emotions and live as an adult would and this has affected my life. I feel like I can't snap out of being a 'victim' instead of being a 'survivor'.       

Dr. Phil, Would you please, please be able to help me by sorting out my life with this sex addiction thing, child, preadolescent, adolescent and young adult's emotions, this 'victim' feeling I have? I have no idea how to 'get over this' and I feel frusterated. I am begging you, please someone help me before it is too late? I am afraid of growing any older and becoming this harsh, bitter, angry woman who will die a very lonely life with no friends and ever feeling what 'true' love really is. Please, Dr. Phil, would you be able to help me with suggestions, advice, anything? I would be so grateful to have someone's help. Thank-You!
 
Replied By: lssanders on Apr 23, 2015, 11:24PM - In reply to Pleasance
Checking in Pleasance. I have been ok. It is up and down. Usually up. But when things strikes and husband gets frustrated, I am the one he lashes out at. Why does he do this? How do I stop this. He lost his phone charger and her makes it seem as if it is "my fault". He was so mad that he hung up on me while I was home here looking for it. Good Grief.  I quit looking. I don't deserve that treatment.
Anyway, I was just checking in. I miss this group and I don't like this new set up.  Hope you are out there somewher Pleasance.
Take Care.
 
Replied By: swedewh on Mar 17, 2015, 12:27PM
I am 52 years old and my mother passed away in August 2010.  She had COPD and Asthma.  I stayed home and took care of her for 10 years and I had vertigo for 5 years prior to that and I had to quit my job.  My father was verbally and emotionally abusive to both my mother and me.  I have been called everything from being stupid to a moron and other names I cannot say here.  My mother and I was always told when anything went wrong it was our fault and was threatened until the problem was fixed.  When my mother passed away I wanted to get a job and be self-reliant and the only thing he kept saying was that I was too old and nobody would hire me and the only thing that will happen to me is that I will end up in a bad area of where we live because that is what I deserve.  I did finish my certificate program in Medical coding and now I am scared no one will want to hire me.  Do you think it is foolish of me to want to work at my age.

swedewh@yahoo.com

 
Replied By: hope11620 on Mar 3, 2015, 6:27PM
I am just trying to figure out a plan to get out of this mess. Verbal abuse is the main issue for 20yrs and my husband likes to Play hit twap pinch as he calls it. Lately he has been scaring me and threatening to punch me in the teeth.  I told him that he I don't feel safe in my own home and he told me he would leave but never does. He has come to my work place and told some of my co workers that he is going to punch me in the teeth. He has stated "If it were summer, you would already be dead" I can't take this anymore... I am tired.  My body, my mind, my soul is just tired!!!  My body tells me when there is danger... My body has triggered or develoedp anxiety and panic when I know there is trouble just by his words and actions.  I just need peace in my life now.. I am done!
 
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