2009 Shows

(Original Air Date: 05/15/09) Nutmeg, candy, cough medicine, air freshener -- these may seem like common household products, but your teen may actually abuse these items. Maureen and Tim found out the hard way. The couple admits that they initially looked the other way when their 14-year-old son, Sam, started "smoking" crushed candy and then snorting powdered drink mix. Now they believe Sam's experimentation led him to buy marijuana. Dr. Phil has a heart-to-heart with Sam to get to the bottom of why he uses drugs. What does the eighth grader admit that brings his father to tears? Dr. Jim Sears, co-host of the hit show The Doctors, (link to: http://www.thedoctorstv.com) weighs in on these risky trends. Then, Adela worries for her 17-year-old son, Alex's, safety after discovering that he's participating in an underground extreme sport -- teen fight clubs. Alex and his 20-year-old friend, Casanova, say that these amateur boxing matches are training them to reach their goals of becoming mixed martial arts fighters. How do the teens respond when they come face-to-face with real Ultimate Fighting Champions? And, Teresa and John say they had no idea their 12-year-old daughter was leading an alternate life online ... and you won't believe how she accessed the Net! Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: kennys on Aug 28, 2009, 9:25PM
i was watching your show on Teen Trends and i was so touched my family and i are going thru some rough times with our teen daughter. She has done drugs ran away from home , had sex and seems to just be going down like a roller coaster and i dont know what else to do we love her and we just want our daughter back before its to late. Your only akid once in your life and she is missing out in so much.
Replied By: oldnwise on Aug 22, 2009, 8:19AM - In reply to lonnieg79

My heart goes out to you because I know you are sincerely suffering.  Suffering comes, not from what happens to us, but in a large part, from how we perceive what happens to us and how we react to it.  Life is a series of challenges, many of which are outright daunting, for everyone.  Life is bumpy and painful.  Our success as a real man or real woman, our very self-respect, comes from doing our best to meet the challenges of life head-on, without excuses, without blaming, and without medication.  I am in my seventh decade of life, and I have weathered a lot of really bad stuff.  Sounds to me like you are reacting to your life's bumps by feeling massively sorry for yourself, by blaming other people and situations, and by trying to hide from it by medicating yourself with substances.  At the end of all that, you feel worse and worse about yourself.  Here's the good news: where there is life, there is hope.  As long as you are alive, you have the key to let yourself out of your self-imposed prison of suffering.  You just have to choose to do it.  I have grown children, and I would never let them slip into the vat of self-pity you seem to be drowning in.  I would slap them upside the head and say "man-up" or "woman-up" start dealing with it the best you can. The best medicine is not pot or pain pills or booze.  The best medicine is getting outside yourself and start living, doing the right thing, and doing for others.  You have a child who needs a real man of a father.  You have a 73-year old mother who needs help and support.  You don't have to look very far to find someone who has it worse than you who could use a hand from you.  I'll bet I'm at least twice your age, and I also have had bone spurs in my neck since I was in my 30's, and a lot of other pain, too.  But I have dragged my butt out to work, rain or shine or monsoon or blizzard, sick or well, every day,every week, every year, since I was 14 years old.  I give my employer my very best, and my co-workers a pleasant helpful attitude.  I do everything in my power to help my family, friends, and community, financially, lending a shoulder, or with elbow grease, gladly and with love.  You do that, and over time (people aren't going to trust you right away, trust has to be earned by repeated delivering on your promises over time) but I guarantee the love will come back to you, BIG TIME.  The best gift will be living in the glow of your own self-respect after a hard day's work and doing the right thing, tired and very sore, but it will be a good tired.  You have my prayers and best wishes.
Replied By: teencritic on Aug 21, 2009, 11:06PM
The replies on this page are getting a little stupid. As if pot is this frowned apon. "An illegal purchase of marijuanna" oh no. This kid is for sure going to get into harder drugs. Is pot really that bad in the states? All it really does is make you hungry and tired. It's not like that kid tried snorting candy and was like, "hey i think it is time to try coke or ecstacy." And actually it was good of him to try the nutmeg because at least he can put that experience behind him. And as if someone would bring their kid to doctor phil for trying marijuanna. My dad has tried pot and he's a palative care doctor. I have tried pot and it really isnt as bad as everyone says it is. People who havent smoked pot are just bringing down the society of teenagers with their ignorance.
Replied By: united4family on Aug 21, 2009, 4:37PM
I have 4 grandchildren in the system. CPS got involved because the mom was on meth while pregnant, she had the baby (who had problems because of it). CPS visited the home for 6 months, monitoring the mom thru drug tests and yes she did test positive during that 6 months, nothing was done. They closed the case, just to reopen it a month later due to the mom being on meth again. This time they took the children away from her and they were placed with us for 6 months, and yes the mom had positive tests during that time and was pregnant again. She was more upset about loosing her cash aid then her children. She continued to collect foodstamps while we had the children, sold them for durgs and alcohol money.  At that time there were only 3 children and CPS did not pay us a penny for 5 of the 6 months we had them. It was not about the money, the children deserved the love and attention they had never really had and who better to give it than family. 

The children were returned home, a month later the new baby was born, 3.5 months premature. The children were again taken from the mom for breaking court orders and not following corrective action plans. Yes the mom tested postive for durgs again! This time they were placed in foster care, with the "hopes the mom would get it together" while they were in foster care. We asked that the children be placed back in our home, the mom contested it, so they remained in foster care. Here it is 3 months later and they have already been moved to another foster home.

What is wrong with the system that they are not willing to stand up and really look out for the children. Here they have family who has already passed all the requirement to have the children and they leave them in some strangers home because the meth addicted mom said so. How sad that the CPS workers and the courts are not really looking out  for the innocent children and their best interests. How sad that they let the parents who have the problems control decisions with the system.  These children have been in the CPS system for 18 months (all time combined) and there is no one allowed to really stand up for them. The courts do not let the family speak other than our names and relationship to the children. 

We have to sit and watch the injustice of the system, the pain on our grandchildren's faces and in the little time we do get we try to comfort and still help them deal with issues they now face, creating some behavior issues for them because they feel they are all alone. Does the CPS and courts not really care about the trauma these little ones face. Little ones includes anyone up to 18 years of age. This is a disgrace to the human race. Animals get better treatment and have more rights than the children of our country, then we wonder what is wrong with society.......look in the mirror at our "system" Change is definitely needed.
Replied By: hulagirl1 on Aug 21, 2009, 2:43PM
The 12-year-old girl's story was scary! Her parents are absolutely right- so many parents could learn from this-When a child can't handle their freedoms, they should all be taken away. The child should be under adult supervision at all times, until there's reason to believe she'll be able to handle herself appropriately again. How refreshing, after all the parents you see whining and allowing their children to run their home.

One thing though,  it just sounds like an extreme thing for a 12-year-old to do, I wondered if the girl may have been acting out from sexual abuse in the past.

The boy with the smartees- yeah, there are teens with much bigger problems. However, what's he's doing is drug ideation- he's very interested and headed that way. This is the perfect time to intervene, before the damage is done. Since it's clear that he can't be trusted to handle himself appropriately, why not put him under 100% adult supervision just like the parents of the 12 year old did. Don't let him back in charge of himself until it's clear that he's got a new set of positive friends, activities and attitudes that are on the right track.

Replied By: quasi6 on Aug 21, 2009, 1:05PM

I give Sam kudos for admitting that he may not have the courage to say "no" if asked to participate in alcohol or drugs by his friends....

Both my Mother and Father were alcoholics. I would go out and party hardy with my friends in my early 20's.

When I got home, it didn't matter what time it was, my Mom would be standing at the top of the stairs, and give me a lecture about how easy it would be for me to become an alcoholic.....

I didn't worry about it....then. When I left home, and I was on my own, I realized that it would be really easy to get into trouble with alcohol...my chances of becoming an alcoholic are waaaayyy higher than the average person.

So, I made some rules for myself....2 drinks max....no drinking when I'm alone....no drinking when I'm upset......no exceptions!

If I'm going out with friends, I offer to be the designated driver. I have loads of anxiety from my childhood, and knowing that I'm in control of the car is worth not drinking. Arrive alive!

I have some issues with my Mom, and her drinking....the lectures, which I hated at the time, turned out to be a gift.
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 21, 2009, 12:02PM
Sam, you've got a lot going for you. A clear complexion when so many your age are ravaged by acne. And, none of this sense of invincibility so many teens have. You're honest enough, not only with Dr Phil and his parents, but yourself, that you can't stand up to peer pressure without help. Sam, you've got a good head on your shoulders. Don't mess it up with drugs.
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 21, 2009, 11:57AM - In reply to firehouseoic
Pot is no more natural than tobacco. Of course, I don't believe in either for recreational use. Pot intoxicates you. And, tobacco causes cancer.
Replied By: cadescove99 on Aug 21, 2009, 9:53AM - In reply to jntmay
I'm so glad you don't believe in giving cell phones to children who are too young and immature to be trusted with them. This "I've-got-to-get-my-child-a-cell-phone-because-she-says-everyone-else-has-one-and-she'll-hate-me-if-I don't-get-her-one" parental mindset is ridiculous.
Girls your daughter's age are sending sexually explicit pictures and text messages on their cell phones. I see no reason for any child to have a cell phone until she starts driving. And, it should be a simple device with no texting capability.
Too many wrecks are caused by idiots texting while driving. A fatal train crash was caused out in California a few months ago because the engineer was texting at the time. I just don't get this texting craze that's taken over our society.
Don't let the "nuts" on this board tell you how to raise your daughter. You seem to be doing all right by me.
Replied By: firehouseoic on Aug 16, 2009, 5:51PM - In reply to lonnieg79
Even if it is all that you have, make the decision today to be hopefull.  When everything else in your life is gone, if you have faith, hope, and happiness, you will be better off than without.  You'd be amazed what can happen in your life if you just have a good attitude.  Life can be extremely hard, but don't make it worse by having the wrong mindset.

Don't listen to the nay-sayers, or those that don't believe in you.  If you are turned down twenty times from treatment, a place to live, or a job, I challenge you to try again the 21st time.  Do what you can.  If you can't write, then speak.  Have you thought of being a minister?  If you can't build, then sell.  How about a telemarketer?  Stop focusing on what you don't have or can't do and figure out what you can do.

Finally, do not give up.  The biggest, most powerfull enemy you will ever face in life is fear and worry.  Don't you dare give in to fear and worry.  Believe that things will improve.  More often than not, the future of person who chooses to keep pressing forward, believing for favor and increase, will in fact reach a higher level, passing the test, and live a better life.  You have to put on your armor and fight the battle and in good faith God will fight off what you can't.  You have a purpose here and you have the power to get past any obstacle.

*This is in response to the very long account of one's life written here.
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