2009 Shows

Telling you how to dress, when to take a shower and what to watch on TV sounds like normal behavior from a mother, but what about a wife? Yadia is a self-proclaimed control freak who says she cannot stop controlling everything and everyone in her life, and her family is saying, “Enough is enough!” Yadia says she even has her 18-year-old son, Michael, trained so well that he actually tells her when he goes to the bathroom. Her husband, David, says her behavior is so out of control, if she doesn’t change soon, a third separation is a definite possibility. How will Yadia do when Dr. Phil insists that David and Michael dress themselves and ride to the show in a separate vehicle from her? And the experiment doesn’t end there. Don’t miss what Yadia has to do before speaking with Dr. Phil. And, see what a typical day is like for this controller, and learn what is at the root of her anxious behavior. Do you like to control all the decisions, or do you know someone who does?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: submissiveman on May 11, 2012, 8:24AM - In reply to yadiamichael
Yadia, I have a somewhat different perspective on where You and David are.  I really think that relationships like this are completely acceptable so long as the husband surrenders to it and abides by the rules!  For what it's worth, I TOTALLY think the way You arranged the bed was 180 degrees better than the way David did it the first time.  While I respect Your desire to change and support it, David does not know how good he has it--many men like myself are attractive and successful and crave to be under the thumb of a confident, Alpha Dog Woman.  My hat is off to You and I respect so MUCH what You have had to go through to get to the place where You are.
Replied By: karla1196 on May 6, 2009, 7:31PM
Not to the extent of telling my husband and children what to wear but when I was watching the show  I totally related to her. I started laughing about the traffic isssue, when the husband  takes the longer lane instead of a lane that has less cars on it...LOL...I do this with my husband!! Also the bed issue..it's never good enough when my husband makes it. I always end up remaking it...LOL

I believe that because of the fact that my husband is very laid back and I always "have" to take care of  everything, I'm just like my mother..LOL, I believe in doing things when they have to be done and not procrastinate. That's just the way I am....I cannot wait and always think that people are extremelly slow in doing whatever they gotta do so I step in and do it but it got to the point that I am sooo BURNED OUT!!!! I really battled with myself, for the past year, if this is all worth it, if I should even be here on this planet because there is a lot more to life than just that. But I have a lot to deal with.  My children often say that I am  "the man of the house". Unfortunately because I think that the couple should take action, and make decisions together.

I believe I am paying a very high price for being the way I am because I have almost given up on a long time dream, to be in Law Enforcemnet. Due to the economy my husband had to get a second job and I had no help with the children so I had to drop out of the police academy....I rarely cry but I haven gotten over the fact that I needed to drop out of the academy. It's tough but I can only take one day at a time.
Replied By: itsjustme0420 on May 5, 2009, 8:25AM
Watching Yadia and listening to Dr. Phil...I saw and heard alot of my own life. I too need to deal with unresolved emotional issues. Something I thought I had done. Obviously though my need to control shows me that perhaps I have truly not dealt with these issues. Maybe I am trying to hold the beach ball under water.
Replied By: shortysec on May 3, 2009, 5:20PM - In reply to cassiebelle
Don't ever give up cassiebelle.  I am so sorry to hear about what you have endured at the hands of your mother.  They always say that parents do the best they can with the information they have, I don't always agree with that.  You were given the wrong message since birth.  I don't even know you and from the tone and tenor of your letter, I can tell that you are an amazing person with a will that is too strong to be distinguished by anyone.  You may feel like you have given up, but I don't think you have.  You are just tired of fighting everyone who does not recognize the beauty and intelligence you possess.  That does get tiring, but don't you ever give up! 

You are not what your mother or anyone else tries to define you as being.  You are a perfect reflection of GOD and exactly what he made you to be.  You have just not had the sun, air, water, and nourishment to grow into the beautiful being he created you to be.  You are smart, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are worthy, and you are above all things a survivor.  Do not allow anyone to try to make you be a victim all your precious life.  YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!!!!  It's not how many times you get knocked down, because I have been knocked down plenty of times, it's how many times you get up.  Don't stay down, get up and show yourself that you can do it and that you are worth every good thing life has to offer.

Always remember that people who love you and are capable of love try to uplift you and support you whenever you set out to do anything positive.  People who do not love you and are bitter and miserable people support you whenever you are doing anything destructive to yourself and anyone else around.  Surround yourself with people who have love in their hearts, minds, and spirits.  You deserve that!  You deserve the best!
Replied By: bgon07 on May 3, 2009, 10:08AM
I learned so much from this show. Dr. Phil got to the root of the problem, and I wouldn't have guessed that Yadia had a fear of losing control. I thought it was a personality trait.  It made me think about the possessive people in my life, and how easily I let them control me at one point in time. It's interesting 'cause now I want to be in control, and if someone wants to tell me otherwise, I pick a fight. What happened to her was terrible, and that touched me emotionally. I've been through situations, in which I put so much time and trust in others, only to have them destroy the belief that there are good people out there. I'm impressed by Yadia. She's such a strong woman. She did not want to let out her vulnerable side, but by her facial expressions you could tell that she was hurting. She's lucky she has a caring husband, too, that is willing to fight for her. Now that's what you call love. I wish her the best.
Replied By: kmagorine on May 1, 2009, 2:57PM
I agree with this user. It was very touching to see Yadia come to terms with her painful past, and it was evident to me that this is not an evil woman, but someone who truly wants to change for herself and her family. It was apparent that she had a deep amount of love for her son and her husband, and I truly believe that yadia will make the changes necessary in order for her to move past her controlling ways. Usually when I watch the show, I have little sympathy for controlling people, but for some reason, I felt that yadia was a genuine, honest, and good person. I wish her and her family nothing but the best. 
Replied By: mildmannered on Apr 30, 2009, 10:04PM
My mom raised 3 girls and she was SOOOOOOOO over controlling. I am the youngest, so when it came time for me to go out in the world, I was so naive. I got used, bask-stabbed...you name it, I sought counseling after a death in my family and found out that my Moms constant control of me..and me never doing it "perfect"...well...there is  NO PERFECT!  was a major issue I had to deal with.

Parents who raise there kids this way are really doing an injustice to their kids. Their kids will not be ready when they go out into the big bad world...because their mom has controlled EVERYTHING
all their life. Parents should be giving their kids the tools it takes to make it in this big world.
Replied By: shayrob2000 on Apr 30, 2009, 6:55PM - In reply to cassiebelle
I know just how you feel. I too have been controlled not only pysically but mentally as well. Dont give up fighting for yourself. I am currently in this same kind of fight. I was ready to give up on life, then I saw the show. When you have been beat down and told you are nothing you will either learn to fight it by controlling everything like Yadia did, or you will do what you and I have done---Give in to it. If I listen to my mother, father and many others, I am nothing, I will never be anything and no one will ever love me. I am learning that this is simply put crap! You need to find yourself and then keep a hold of that. I am starting at the very basic...Who am I and what do I like?? So far this is what I have come up with. I am very sensative to the needs of others, I like the color pink and I love chocolate. I realize this is not much, but it is a start and I WILL find out more and keep going because I DESERVE A BETTER LIFE AND SO DO YOU. Like Dr. Phiil said it is how we react to situations that will make or break us. What ever you do, find people who like who you are and surround yourself with them. All the rest can take a hike. MAKE A BETTER LIFE FOR YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT! just like I do.
Replied By: jrmass on Apr 30, 2009, 5:08PM
It  seems like this Yadia person has a criminal mind. I wonder which country she comes from. That's the first thing to look at. Surely she's not American. I think her whole family should walk out on her, she should be sent to a psychiatrist and given medication to de-criminalize her brain. She is controlling everyone because she knows full well that she has no power in this world except the artificial power she exerts on her family and husband. Maybe she is a victim of physical abuse from her childhood. This needs to be investigated, or maybe she comes from a war zone where she grew up as a kid and is used to exerting abuse and violence on others. I wonder if she physically abuses her kids and husband.
Replied By: cassiebelle on Apr 30, 2009, 5:07PM - In reply to shortysec
II have been controlled all of my life...since I was born.  I don't know any other way of life.  I can't drive because my mot her discouraged it because she worried about me,  I was not allowed to take a  bath without asking her permission because she was afraid I would fall.  I could never do anything that teenagers do because she worried about me. such as learning to swim, etc.  My first husband controlled me through intimidation and he taught my son to do the same..  I  was never allowed to express an opinion.  Why?  Because men are superior to women and I was stupid.   When you are told this for as long as I have been told....it finally sinks in.  There is no one on earth that has as low self-esteem as I do.  When I try to have self-esteem there is someone lurking around the corner ready to slap me down.  I have finally given up.
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