Sign up for the Dr. Phil Newsletter
Twitter Facebook YouTube

Archives

 
Is your teen headed down a path of self destruction with drugs, alcohol, eating disorders, self injury, depression, or problems with the law? Share advice and support with other parents of troubled teens.
__________________________________________________

This board is now "Read only." Visit the DrPhil.com community to continue the conversation on our new message boards!
Comments
Replied By: clemyromfruff on Sep 8, 2012, 3:55AM
I am a teenager currently trying to overcome an eating disorder. My advice for parents with children in the same situation, or if you suspect that they have an eating disorder, is: do not be intrusive or controling. They have certain characteristics that come with eating disorders and by being understanding they will probably get over these with time. If you know they have relapsed please don't ask questions because if they want to they will come to you or someone else. Only become alarmed if it continues longer than a month or so. Also, always consider their wishes because they may not gain anything from professional help (this is possible), but it often helps and they will appreciate it in the long term. The main thing to remember is that every eating disorder is different and they all need to be treated differently. Changing your eating habits are the easy part, but changing your mind set is much more difficult. Therefore, patience is also key, as it is not something that can be overcome overnight. Many people take years, so don't worry too much because the human body can deal with a lot perticularly in a young person. Trust me because I've had mine for over two years and am still stuggling to maintain a steady diet.
 
Replied By: dee2012 on Sep 6, 2012, 12:50PM - In reply to momssix
42,000.00 for 100 days
 
Replied By: riajean on Sep 3, 2012, 9:08AM - In reply to livingwbpd
I was that child once. I am now 33 years old. I ended up in prison for 12 years at the age of 17. There is something going on in your daughter's life that you are not aware of. Twelve year olds do not act like that unless there is a problem. You stated that she said she did not want to continue to see the therapist, so you let her stop.

You should take her to another one, if you want to find out what has happened to your daughter that is making her act this way.

For me, I was abused and sexually molested as a child. No one ever asked.
 
Replied By: livingwbpd on Aug 27, 2012, 11:15AM
I have a 12 year old daughter who just started 7th grade.  She is in all honors classes and gets straight A's.  if you talk to her teachers she is a wonderful student, helpful, doe not get in trouble, and caring.  However we know a diffrent child at home.  She does not respect her father or me and only does what she wants to.  If we tell her no to something she throws a tantrum and will then fight with her older sister who is 14.  She gets very physical with her sister is she will not do what she tells her too.  We have tried diffrent discipline methods from talking it out, taking away things that she likes to do ...ie computeres radio....last April she started cutting herself, I was called to the school to talk with her about it and her father and I talked with her and tried to work through the things that were bothering her...she refused at that time to talk to anyone outsie of the family...In July she took a handfull of pills and wound up in the hospital...at that time I also found out she had been purging everytime that she ate.....She begged me not to have her addmitted to the hospital but I felt that it was the best place for her to be...She was very angry with me but started to open up after a couple of days...the hospital diagnosed her with deppresion and started her on prozac....A week later they sent her home and our family has tried very hard to make this a very open family we would play board games and talk have family dinners as often as possible....and I cont taking her to a therapist.....A few weeks into therapy she came home very upset and stated that she did not want to go back because she did not like her....My daughter had a whole list of things that the therapist said to her that I was bothered by as well.....So I let her stop and it seemed things were going good.  She was getting along with her sister , had friends over.  Started back to school last Wednesday....On Friday I was called to the school because she had passed out....She was still pale when I got there and Her blood pressure was very low so despite her wanting me to take her home we called an ambulance...She wound up telling the paramedic that she had taken a handful of diffrent pills that she had taken from diffrent members of the family....Thank God she survived however the hospital sent her home the next day.  I have no idea where to turn or what to do....She acts like this is no big deal and is a big joke.  She was actually smiling about what she had done when the therapist came to talk to her at the hospital....We brought her home and dont let her out of our sight, she has to be in the same room with her father or I and she is sleeping with me so that I know what she is doing at all times...but I am not sleeping listening for her and at some point or life has to keep going...Any ideas out there....our insurance has been maxed for her to get therapy and I do not know where else to turn. 
 
Replied By: jennifer197734 on Aug 6, 2012, 4:22AM - In reply to gingerwine99
My son is the same way,the only difference he is 11years old.  He has been arrested numerouse times and tired druges. Set my house on fire. run away and fights. He gets angery easliy. I tired to get mine help but they dont understand him.My son can,t read yet or count pass 30. But i love my son and will do anything for him. Its just the older he gets,his behavior gets wrost.
 
Replied By: michelles75 on Jul 20, 2012, 1:40PM
shes is now 19, but starting in 2nd grade she talked about killing herself. i tried for years to get her into a wildressnss program, i did finally got her there, she was there for a year, she came out worse than she went it, so as my very very last resort was to tell the court i could no longer control her so DCS took her into their custody and since she was not able to be placed into a fostor family they HAD to put her in treatment (i knew this because I was told what to do to make sure she would get help) for 2 years she was in a level 3 lock down, 2 years later, she was fine for about well a few weeks and then she was worse again..... she broke my nose, hit me, hit my husband, bites, runs away,all 2 weeks after she was released back to me, 2 weeks before her 18th birthday, she seemed to try but now looking back she just became a better lyer,,,,, she now lives in "holloywood california) hangs out in bars, drinks, does drugs.... 3 years of hard core treatment, and now shes a "go-go" dancer for free, yup for free, just so she can "party"  all i can do is pray for you andif you have a child like this please feel free to message me back.... Sincerely and God Bless


a mom that has been there, done that and still she needs help
 
Replied By: nanjean33 on Jun 1, 2012, 8:27AM
Im a mother of 2. A 9 year old girl and a 15 year old boy. For the past year and a half my son has been completley out of control. He was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age.  It started with skipping school, drugs, disobediance. It escelated to him being physically abusive towards me. I tried everything, being leinient, being strict. I tried social workers, and online courses. I finally decided to send him to live with my sister for a while. He was there for six months and had gotten better. I deided to move there and things were good for a while but then they went downhill again. He had a girlfriend that played with his head by telling him she was pregnant, then she miscarried (which landed him in the psych ward for a week) and later he took a cocktail of pills and ended up in the hospital. It turned out she was never pregnant. All this time my husband was @ home maintaing the house and his work. He visited every other week. It was stressfull, but we'd donr the long distance thing before, so we were ok. We came home for March break and my son met a new girl here. when we returned to my sisters he said he wanted to go home. Scince we've returned he has been a nightmare, he hasn't got physical with me, but he has disreguarded the rules, not going to school, he was arrested for theft and now has a warrent out for him because he skipped out on getting his finger prints and picture taken. He has scince disappeared. He hasn't been home in over a week and the police wont do anything because i was still in contact with him via texting and facebook, except for the past day i havent heard from him. Some peole have told me to kick him out, call CAS (Childrens Aid Society) and have him put in a group home.  I dont know what to do right now. I have to think of my daughter as well as she has/is/will be affected by his behaviour. Please any advice is greatly appreciated.
 
Replied By: momssix on Apr 17, 2012, 3:04PM
Hi...I have gone over the website of Turn About Ranch and the tuition cost is nowhere to be found. I realize everyone is an individual case BUT  how about a 'ball park' figure?  Are we talking $5,000.00 for 100 days or $25,000.00 for 100 days? I just wish the site would afford us some idea of tuition parameters, as before I go any further and offer my contact information, would like to know more. THOUGHTS???
 
Replied By: gingerwine99 on Apr 12, 2012, 8:42AM
Our 17 year old son with Asperger's is self-destructing before our eyes. We have tried loving him more, discipline, tough love, everything we know to try, but he is still on a dangerous path. I am at the end of my rope and have started fasting as a way to get clarity and help for my son. Today is Day 3 with no food. My plan is to go without food until we receive help for our son, hopefully from Dr Phil and his team.
Colt, our son, has been sexually active since the age of 13. Due to the Asperger's, he does not make a lot of friends. The ones he does make ususally take advantage of him and the fact that he makes money and is easy to manipulate. Colt has used drugs since age 13. He has sold drugs, stolen prescription drugs, alcohol and tobacco from family members. He set a car on fire and was charged with felony arson. To avoid a felony conviction, he spent five months in the National Guard Youth ChalleNGe program. He got out last December and immediately returned to his old ways. He sneaks out constantly and is currently involved with a 20-year old girl with a history of meth use. He is currently facing three charges in court for possession and use of drugs, alcohol and tobacco. One hope we have been clinging to is that he's a good student. Unfortunately, last week I discovered he has been paying for his grades. He pays others to do his homework and classwork and cheats off their tests. He says he doesn't need school because he's going to be a famous rap star.  The only reason he is staying in school is because probation states he must stay in school or he could face jail time. 
We are looking for help in how to better parent our son. If we don't figure this out and get his attention, he will end up dead or in jail. We have tried tough love, even turning an incriminating Facebook photo of him engaging in illegal activity into the police.  We need help to reach our son.
 
Replied By: vivien_230 on Mar 7, 2012, 3:36PM - In reply to bonzoo
Maybe its time to something different and a little bit drastic. I suggest a boot camp, it can help discipline him since he clearly needs it. He will be looked after and hopefully the place can help him change. You should think about since other alternatives are not working to him.
 
Showing 1-10 of total 81 Comments