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Are you or is someone you love addicted to something unhealthy? Whether it's food, alcohol, drugs, painkillers, sex, pornography, or something else, find support here.

If you believe you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

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Replied By: soft_engineer on May 17, 2015, 11:09PM
Good evening, web miners.  Perhaps this is not the optimal place to post commentary on human desperation, but I welcome any feedback that this may elicit. To follow in the tradition of Narcotics Anonymous, the cliche: My name is Dan and I am a drug addict.  I will not belabor the valuable time of the readers of this blog with pointless detail.  Chances are that if you are reading this post, you are quite familiar with tales of addiction. My hell begins about 8 years ago, shortly after I commenced married life here in Georgia.  It ends right here, befuddled and scared, a skeleton huddled on a motel room bed. I grew up in suburban Philadelphia as an immensely talented engineer, pursuing what would surely be a bright career.  As a young man, I paid scant attention to the warnings of my "health class" instructors.  As a high school student, matters outside of science and mathematics completely fell outside of the sphere of my attention span.  I was preparing for a career in technology and "the "rest," in my imagination, would simply fall into place.  For the first 24 years of my life, this philosophy sustained me, powered by a gargantuan ego. I graduated as university valedictorian with a degree in chemical engineering, already with an established publication record in material science.  Mating theory with patterns of data was my specialty and I parlayed that into a coveted Ivy League fellowship.  At this juncture, I didn't even smoke cigarettes despite growing up in a household that boasted 2 pack-a-day smoker parents.  Alcohol, similarly, held little appeal as even a "small" quantity proved nauseating. Graduate school was my first foray into self-sufficiency.  I failed miserably and, further, I was no longer the big fish in a small pond.  The rigors of academic life went well beyond the tight boundaries of undergraduate study: research, advanced coursework, qualifiers and lecturing.  Specifically, the research was the primary sticking point.  I allowed my arrogance to convince me that working on someone else's project (an advisor) was a waste of time.  I did not believe that I had to pay the dues required (never mind the fact that it was that very professor who paid for my tuition, room, board, salary and benefits).   Ignoring the academic aspects, as daunting as they were for me, I possessed absolutely zero common sense when it came to survival.  Don't get me wrong here, I had plenty of instruction.  Blaming my family for my failure to thrive is completely unfair.  I simply chose not to apply the skills that they taught me. In the end, I abandoned my first graduate program with an offer to continue studies at another.  The haze of delusion convinced me that the "new" project would be more worthy of my skill set, closer to the heart of what I really wanted to research.  This required a substantial geographic relocation.  I was, for the first time, going to be completely outside of the reach of my "life lines."  I was about to be cast out on my own, sink or swim.  As long as I could solve differential equations I could eat, right?! My twisted perception of myself as some kind of minor deity created a twenty-something who was looking for ANY port in a storm.  The insular comfort of the "old neighborhood," my family and friends, was NOT there to sooth me.  Continuing to work under the delusion that I was not being respected for my talent, I turned to chemical sustenance. All at once, I found that the euphoria of a "job well done" could be found with no effort at all.  No longer did I have to invest countless hours of physical and mental acrobatics to arrive at the desired denouement.  Oh no, I just had to pop a pill. Coincidental with the rise of my addiction(s), I started a family, marriage and a daughter.  My wife, in fact, is the very reason that I am breathing (filthy) air as I write this.  My compulsions forced my wife to sacrifice nearly everything to ensure that I remained upright.  I've the course of a few years, I went from a bright, motivated young man with infinite prospects to a fool, a charlatan who would stop at nothing to feed the monkey on my back.  Never mind the substance, I am an equal-opportunity addict.   The past 2 years had seen some promise.  I completed an excellent rehab program, became highly involved in Church, got a job, finished a research paper.  In general, I began to feel alive again.  But, the addict's national anthem is "F**k it and Run" and so I slipped easily back into the abyss.   The true final straw came purely through bad luck.  I have been serving probation to shuck off a criminal charge that I caught several years ago.  Last summer, during the course of casual conversation with a fellow probationer, I uncovered the world of street drugs.  He was, on the surface, a polished, well-spoken college student.  I took his number and I reciprocated.  The prescription pill mill ran out soon after this... "Oh, I'll take just a little hit to assuage the withdrawal..." ...the shaking, the mania, the need, the despair...all until the numbness hits the back of the throat...
Replied By: vrhurst86 on May 17, 2015, 4:12PM
so My name is Veronica, I'm 29 and I'm a drug addict in recovery currently for almost - 6 months this time!! O wanted to stop in and give all the current addicts still struggling in the hell of addiction, a little hope! BC I'm  a walking miracle if you have never really heard of one in real life, now you have!! I've actually died legally and my heart stopped pumping blood, but By the Grace of God, it wasn't time for me to go yet, I still had work to do helping to tell people like you, its possible to survive this disease if you set your mind to it and accept it is an illness you will have the rest of your life. I am here if any of you fellow addicts need a friend to listen or to advise, hit me up anytime!
Replied By: eddiego on May 16, 2015, 4:13PM - In reply to undonenohope
Dear Help,

I can relate to feeling helpless and not understanding what is going on.  I see you mention Spice and Molly not your "average pot".  We had a similar issue with family member and it got very scary.  We let our fingers do the walking (so to speak) and used the internet to find information and help.  What was so surprising is that Spice or Molly or Scooby snacks (it has many names) appears harmless but is actually addictive.  All it takes is once for some folks.  Scary my opinion worse that real marjuana. What do others think about this artificial fake stuff?   The more I research and learned the more I learned we were dealing with a serious issue and we needed medical attention.  I am not a fan of the ACA or Obamacare overall, but the one thing Congress did get right was to include in every policy mental health and substance abuse coverage in the health insurance policies.  I found this one place with tons of great helpful information, and tons of real people sharing their stories.  Then I started to see what we were up against and dealing with.  May you find help too by reading info. on this site :

I wish you and your family all the best of luck, and it will take a joint effort to pull through this but it CAN BE DONE!  I have faith and I believe in our family, we can overcome this.  I am so happy we have the interenet to find forums and support groups that can help.  Thinking we were the only ones, feeling alone, was how we started out, now we have a doctor that is helping and we are informed.  Makes such a difference.  Again good luck!
Replied By: proofofthecon on May 9, 2015, 11:35PM - In reply to motherincrisis
I think any mother would be concerned like you. Especially when everything we hear or learn in the past 20 years says what you are thinking. But, just like with alcohol, food, prescription medications etc., there is a line that needs to be monitored to ensure balance.

Mentioning how your son is passionate about the subject and can spend hours justifying his side, is somewhat of a good sign. Pushing psychiatric medications and drug centers right away can make him even more adamant about using pot. I think many parents, with good reason, jump to the worst but fail to acknowledge any possible underlying causes or reasons. Of course, any substance can lead to bad grades, bad behavior or a bad life in general. He sounds mature enough to at least sit down with you in a calm way and have an open, non-judgemental conversation about his life, school, his future plans and yes his pot use. 

You may even want to have him ahead of time even research Marijuana use and the pros and cons and then even provide to you what he found based on scientific and medical data that either backs up his views or discredits them. And you can even do the same prior to the conversation. Also, let him explain why he uses it, how he plans to maintain balance and why he thinks he might be making other bad choices in regards to grades, friends etc. You may find he's using pot to self-medicate a psychiatric condition. I do know that many people think it will help with ADD symptoms and anxiety but for many it can exacerbate their symptoms. Or you may find its a stress relief mechanism. Either way both of you can work together to think up solutions, compromises, and ways for him to deal with what is an absolutely difficult time in life, especially for teens today.

Dealing with teenagers is sometimes best handled like you would if you were about to be in a political debate. Unfortunately, our failed war on drugs has caused even more confusion and issues but so has the Cheech & Chong side. Either way he will be an adult who will be making decisions that do not need your approval and alienating him now will lead to a closed-mouth when he's older.

Also, try to remember that pot was just as big and just as majorly used before the war on drugs and many of those people did manage to do what teens do which is "grow out of it" or even learn how to lead productive lives while partaking. 
Replied By: motherincrisis on Apr 29, 2015, 8:07PM - In reply to motherincrisis
Today we admitted our son to a teen rehab center.  It was the best decision we could have ever made.  It was something we contemplated for 1.5 years.  No one knows what it is like to experience this unless they have gone through it themselves.  If anyone out there is contemplating this for their child, have faith that if you think it is the right thing for your child it probably is. Have the courage to do it for them and for yourself.
Replied By: cgabriela1209 on Apr 21, 2015, 7:07PM
Hi everyone one, my boyfriend is 28 years old and has an addiction to herion. Iv known him for about ten years but been together for almost two years I didn't know about his addiction until 5 months into our relationship. He's tried to get help twice now, first time he was in the hospital for a day and he discharge himself out that was back in January then again in June but that time he stayed there for a week he was so positive and really wanted to stay clean told me he would go to group meetings but nothing he stayed cleans for a few months I was really happy to have the old him back he was more involved with the kids ( not his but treats them like his own) and wanted to do more things as a family I was happy he was doing good. About a two months ago I notice he was acting weird being distance falling asleep all the time he didn't want to do things with the family anymore always just wanted to sleep. We were arguing more,I knew something was up I would go threw his phone his clothes his car while he was sleeping and never found anything I thought maybe I was over thinking things then when I would do laundry I would find rolled up dollars with powder and I knew I would ask a him and he would just deny it and I told him I'm not stupid I know your using again when your ready I'm here to help. But the other day just threw me over the edge my daughter who is a year and a half was in the laundry room and came out with bags of herion and I lost it I couldn't believe it and he just denied it that there werent his and he grabbed the bags and went into the laundry room with them and I followed him and I told him to flush them down the toilet well he "lost" them he said he was in shock and didn't know where he put them I knew that was a lie. I am so lost and been really emotional the past few days I haven't spoken to him since it happened and its awkward because we live together I always think the worst and when that happen I thought what if my daughter put a bag in her mouth and something happened to her. Besides the drugs he is a good guy he has a job and works really hard he has a family that loves him but he's just spends all his money on drugs and is always complaining how he's always broken I hide my money because I know he would steel money from my purse. I'm just so lost idk what to do.
Replied By: emmaface on Apr 20, 2015, 11:37AM
My son is 26 and has been using drugs for several years. I do enable him and I know it. He lies so well I either  believe him or I want to believe him. He tells me money is for something that makes sense or he needs and it turns out he uses it for drugs. If I don't give him the money he steals it from me or pawns my things to get the money for drugs. This is something you read about but never think it could happen to you. He is the youngest of 5 children and nothing like this  ever happened to the other 4. I am behind on all of my bills, the car he was driving when arrested for drugs was impounded and about to be repossessed. I still owe $20,000 on the car. I am about to be sued for the impound fees. He knows all of this yet constantly hounds me for money. He says he can't work because he will fail the drug test, so he has lots of time on his hands and no money coming in.  I feel like my life will never get any better. He has been to rehab 5 times. He always is better the first week he comes home, but then he relapses. His Dad was MIA for years and died recently, so I have been handling this on my own. His siblings are done with all of this they say. They want me to kick him out. I told him after his courts dates are over next week that he needs to move out. I have told him to go  before, but he won't leave. I am so depressed and feel trapped. What can we do?
Replied By: motherincrisis on Apr 18, 2015, 1:27PM - In reply to undonenohope
I am going through the same thing with my son.  Marijuana is ruining the lives of many adults but the new victims are the kids.  I cannot find the right help for my son and us parents are left to deal with this very difficult situation.  People do not take you seriously until they are addicted to heavier drugs.  Pot is cheap and most kids can get it for free at school.  It is a huge problem.  The schools, police, etc. look the otherway. I was told by the school that school fights were a bigger priorty for them.  I question myself as a mother and feel guilty that I should have prevented my son from going down this path.  Even though no one in our family smokes.  I find it is an issue too big and no one wants to do anything about it.  Legalizing it has just made everything worse.
Replied By: motherincrisis on Apr 18, 2015, 1:10PM
I sit here with tears running down my face, listening to my 10 year old and friends playing in the pool while wondering where my 16 year old slept last night. How is it that my life has spun out of control and all my hopes and dreams feel so far out of reach. This is not the life I imagined.

I am the mother of 2 beautiful boys. Unfortunately one is addicted to smoking pot.  We have been struggling with this issue with our son for almost 2 years. I have him seeing a family therapist and a drug addiction counselor. Recently he saw a psychiatrist who prescribed him with Prozac. I have contacted a few drug addiction clinics for teenagers and their first question is "what kind of insurance" I have and then the follow up response is "all 16 year old kids smoke pot". The majority think I'm exaggerating and expecting too much from my son. Why is it that no one cares enough to help?  Why am I being told to let my son grow out of this?  Smoking pot has become normal in today's society and I cannot accept that I am the only mother that thinks this is wrong.

My son is throwing away all potential in his life. He has started stealing to get money. He smokes on a daily basis. He obtains it at school which is where it all started and he currently has Cs, Ds and Fs with his last 2 year average 2.0 (as required for football).

I feel like I have lost my son. We were so close. Through family sessions I came to understand that I was codependent on him. As crazy as that sounds to me, I will admit I had/have the classic signs. I just thought I was loving my son and wanting the best for him.

My husband and I have become closer through this crisis that is affecting our family. We also came to realize that not everyone thinks this is a big deal. We are trying to keep this issue as private as possible.

Our 16 year old is now using our 10 year old as an excuse to leave the house. He invites him to play at the park with him. We now fear that our 10 year old is at risk by the hands of his own brother.

If you were to look at our family from the outside, you would think it is perfect. However it is so far from the truth.

There is obviously a lot more that is happening but this is a quick summary. There is the process of how I reached this point of not knowing where my own son is even though he still lives at home.

I believe that my only option now is to find the right clinic that will take my son. But....will it help?  He is convinced that his life is not being altered by his decisions. He will debate with you for hours as he feels very passionate about this subject. If the clinics don't think smoking pot is a big deal, how will they actually help?

Am I an overbearing mother or do I have reason to be concerned for both of my boys? 

Replied By: tylerusmp on Apr 6, 2015, 1:42PM - In reply to redrum844
hi well im sorry to hear about your son with herion addiction. i currently live in texas due to the military but i lived on long island my whole life. if you are aware of the addiction to herion on long island it is no joke. i have lost more friends over the past few years then i can even imagen. i personally was addicted to roxys blues whatever you want to call it and in new york at least, thats what you start with before herion. i was in alot of trouble abck home and got into it with some bad bad people and when court came around so did the drugs. i used and spent money did stuff for money that i would never talk about not even to my wife. then one day i was beyond high i had a friend who asked if i can take her to the army recruiting office...well after that my life changed i have become a military police officer, ben clean 2 years and im telling you i was bad it was beyond bad but im ok now. i would have him talk to recruter personally.
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