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2009 Shows

 
Imagine answering your phone and hearing, "You don't know me, but I am your brother or sister." How would you react? Many reunions with long-lost loved ones turn out joyous, but sometimes, the results can be difficult to accept. Troy Dunn, a professional people finder and host of WE TV's The Locator joins Dr. Phil to share a mixed bag of reunion stories. First up, four of five sisters torn apart during childhood reunite after over 20 years. Then, with the help of Troy, they locate their youngest sister and gather for an emotional reconciliation. Even with the best reunions, problems can crop up, and as time has passed, two of the women, Desiree and Stephanie, have stopped speaking to each other. What's causing these sisters to drift apart? Can they come to an understanding before Desiree is shipped out with the Army? Then, all five women visit their mother together for the first time since they were taken from her. She joins the show to share her experience. Next, Wendy contacted Troy to locate her mother, who sent her and her brother to live with their paternal aunt and uncle when she was 10.  Wendy thought she was going on a vacation, but never returned home and wants to know why her mother left her. After a frustrating search, Troy locates her mom, but the news is anything but joyous. Could Wendy’s worst fears about her mother be true? If there is someone in your life you're longing to get back in touch with, don't miss this show to learn the realities of reunions. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: mloveless12 on Apr 13, 2009, 10:03AM
 
I was on the show on April 3rd with the sister's and Wendy. I wanted to take a moment to say that their stories deeply saddened me. I however really do not have a sad story. My life was and still is fabulous. I wasn't abused or neglected. My search for my birth relatives is out of curiosity first of all, but secondly for a genetic history. I do not feel as though my birth mother has the right to withhold that information from me. I wish all my show sisters the best in their journey's, and I hope they all find what they are looking for. Melanie
 
Replied By: mantecabn on Apr 10, 2009, 5:35PM - In reply to joseph1094
You will find out, as you enter middle age, that your medical history will become crucial to your doctor and any of your offspring.  There is something more important that who raises a child and that's a persons right to know about their medical history and background.  No matter how uncomfortable that makes a pretend family.  You sound much too hostile to really be allright with your adoption.  You are angry for a reason.  Remember that your weren't rejected,  you can't reject someone you don't really know.  Perhaps some therapy would be helpful for you.
 
Replied By: mantecabn on Apr 10, 2009, 5:23PM - In reply to wheat100
I cannot believe that anyone would feel for the mothers of adult adopted children!  These adults have a right to know their medical history in the very least.  You obviously have had the luxury of knowing both of your bio parents to have such a self serving attitude about a subject you know nothing about.
 
Replied By: fourteensouls on Apr 8, 2009, 7:14PM - In reply to dizipea
It is all very painful I was really surprised the daughter wasn't more angry and bitter , it shows she was raised in a good loving home. I hold both the daughters and the mothers in prayer
 
Replied By: corri33 on Apr 8, 2009, 5:16PM - In reply to missyvr
I wish you could talk with my mother in law !  She refuses to meet with her daughter that she gave up for adoption some 37yrs ago.  The family cannot understand and is very confused. Her adopted daughter is longing for her biological mother and everytime we mention it, fights and arguments begin and we end up not talking for weeks or months at a time. I think it's wonderful that you have come to peace with this and yes I am sure it was painful but absolutely worth every moment to have what you have today. I hope your relationship continues to grow and blossom into something awesome.  Any thoughts for a mother in law who is rejecting her child??
 
Replied By: corri33 on Apr 8, 2009, 5:09PM
My husband recently found out thru a mailed letter that he had a younger sister who was adopted at 2 months of age. Needless to say, we were both shocked and excited all at once, after numerous telephone conversations we finally set up a face to face reunion which went wonderfully. My mother in law on the other hand was not nearly as excited as we were, in fact she totally rejected her long lost adopted daughter and did not speak to my husband nor myself for about 5 months after hearing that we had started a relationship with her. My husband also has 3 brothers and 1 sister who also had mixed emotions about their new found sibling. His brothers have all met with her but have very limited contact with her and his sister refuses to speak or meet with her as she feels she is disrespecting her mother wishes. As for my husband and I, we of course feel trapped in the middle of a now a broken family seeing both sides of a painfully hurt child who only wants to meet her birth mother and have a relationship with her biological siblings and trying to understand what we feel is selfish and cruel behavior of his mother and sister.  In all fairness, I must say that according to his mothers story, she claims she was raped and states that reuniting would bring all of those memories back to surface. Why do we doubt this?  Not one of her children has ever heard this story from her before and we feel that due to her getting pregnant while her current husband was off at war, she may be too embarssed to actually acknowledge her mistake.  Either way, I feel she should at least meet with her daughter and explain what happened, this child is hurting and is longing for the love of her real family, something she says she never received from her adoped family as she is Hispanic and her adopted family Caucasin. Any thoughts or comments on this situation would be greatly appreciated as my husband and I feel lost and confused, trapped in what could be an awesome reunion vs a lifetime of confusion as to why a mother would reject her biological daughter, worse yet to view your mother/mother in law as a cold uncaring person.  This stuff was only suppose to happen in the movies ( and Dr. Phil)  LOL
 
Replied By: brobby on Apr 6, 2009, 3:54PM
My father left my mother when I was only 3years old. She was alone with 4 of us, no job and very little education. my father didnt even tell her that he was leaving. simply went to work and never returned. It was 5 or so years later that we learned he moved to his hometown in Puerto Rico. We live in ct. anyhow, he visited only twice in 24 years and didnt stay as long as he promised he would. he cut out early both times without warning. when I was 23 years old, I decided to visit him in Puerto Rico. I paid for the trip myself and my mother warned me that I would only find pain there. I went anyhow to satisfy my curiosity. I only stayed for 26 hours. After I told him I was leaving, he stated that he did not want me to go. I replied through tears that we did not want him to go either, yet he left like a coward. He then said something I will never forget...."you were just a little girl then, now you are a woman. You shouldn't think about that anymore"   WOW!  Needless to say, I shouldve listened to my mother!
 
Replied By: kathleen27 on Apr 6, 2009, 10:31AM
I'm not sure how I feel about "finding" people, even though there is a biological link.  SOMETHING had to have happened that was pretty radical, if a nuclear family was torn apart.  If this separtion has been ongoing for many years, there had to be a "new reality" created by each individual who was involved, and perhaps being found, would entail having to detail an explanation to yet another family, and could cause resentments.
If I were to try to "find' a lost family member, it would have to be only between myself and that person, not by phone, or by "showing up", but by a letter.  That way, the door is opened, but the second party has the right to choose, depending on where their life is at.
If innocents can be hurt, and lives disrupted ...again...I see this more as an invasion.
Some cases, it may be positive, and a letter would allow that to come about without a dog and pony show.
We had a horrible situation within our family, and one member chose to depart.  Although numerous attempts were made by me to try anything to re-connect, my efforts were futile.  I have two younger children who suffered the most, and now, as young adults, I feel they have the right to get on with their lives, minus any intervention.  It IS too late. 
I do have compassion for those who made wrong choices, but still feel that no one has the right to re-enter and unravel a reality that THEIR actions forced a "loved" one to create.
Some genies are best left in the bottle...just my own opinion.
 
Replied By: housewife52 on Apr 6, 2009, 4:28AM
Sometimes I wonder about my own beginnings. It wasn't until my first child was born that I began to wonder a little. I have 0 negative blood and my husband has 0 positive blood. So, when my first child was born, I had a Rhogam shot at some point in the pregnancy. My daughter was born with 0 neg. Then I had another Rhogam shot at some point with my second pregnancy. My son was born with 0 neg. My daughter just recently had a baby and had the Rhogam shot. Both of my late parents had positive blood. I have wondered off and on if 2 positives parents could produce a negative child. I am the oldest of 5 and the sibllings that I am aware of thier blood types have positive blood. There was always a secret about my parents' anniversary date. About a year before they died my sister found out that my mother wa s already pregnant with me when they got married. Which was very taboo in 1954. As a child I had been in school one day and the other kids were discussing thier parents' anniversaries like it was a good thing. So, having never even heard the word "anniversary", I went home and asked my mother when was thier anniversary.(thinking it was a good thing) To my horror she flew mad and was very angry and I was scared to death and confused. Then as an adult, I asked her why she had gotten so mad when I had asked her as a child about her anniversary, and she reacted the same way as when I was a child. I was not afraid the second time I asked but still very confused. So after discussing it with my sister, she pestered them until they told her. She said they after they confessed, my mother cried, after all those years. So, I never tried to discuss it with them. I never tried to discuss how my blood type was negative and both of thiers positive. Now, at this point in my life, I don't really care anymore. If I were to be told that it IS indeed impossible for 2 positive people to have a negative child, it wouldn't make any difference. Whatever secrets they had died with them. I am a happy person with a full life and accept who I am, whatever my origins were.
 
Replied By: missyvr on Apr 6, 2009, 12:49AM
In 1966 I was told by my Dr. and Social Workers that the best thing for me to do was to give up my child.
That if I really cared for her that this would be the best thing to do.  I was 19 years old and didn't know what to do.  No money, no parental support and an interracial baby that I wasn't sure who the father was.
This was too hard to deal with and I was suffering terrible morning sickness and working and trying to hide this from everyone at work and from friends and the possible fathers.
Too embarrassed to tell the truth because it made me look like I was a whore.  My parents had told me not to come home pregnant.  Not to darken their doors and no marriage proposal and very little income.
I went to a clinic to get affordable health care and talked to social workers who convinced me NOT to keep the baby.  I cried through my whole pregnancy and kept the secret until 2 months before delivering.
During the delivery, I could not have my boyfriend (possible father) in the room.  That was the rule in the sixties.  I was so scared and in so much pain and no one to help me.  The doctors and nurses kept leaving me alone and I didn't really know what was going on.  After I gave birth they took the baby away.
They would not let me see her or touch her.  They did tell me she was a girl.
This was a turning day in my life.  One of those moments you can't take back and that change your life forever.
Two years ago I finally was able to meet my daughter and it was a remarkable reunion.  We are still getting to know each other and she has two sisters that are from the same father.  We did get married and I never knew who the baby's father was for sure til I met her 40 years later.
This was a relief and I had a lot to deal with.  This was a secret I kept for 40 years and now I had to tell all my family members including my two daughters that I raised.
It sent me on an emotional roller coaster ride for a few weeks and I went through the whole pregnancy, bith, adoption and pain and relived it. 
But now, the peace I live with every day is worth every bit of pain.  I had to do this before I died and my secret died with me.
If I could change that day that I gave up my baby, I would.  When someone asks me if I could live my life over, is there anything I would change.  That would be my wish.
 
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