Oh my god reading your message I almost cried, someone finally got it right, thank you, you are restoring my faith in women again, so many girls are sticking up for cadum and I can not understand what the hell they are thinking...hes a nut case I was 7 months pregnant and he knocked me to the ground trying g to get keys from me to steal my car when we separated the first time. Hes done horrible things and I have forgiven him because I love him for some unholy reason and after everything he just lied to me again last night...I think your right I should leave its so hard when you have build a life and now we have aidan and I never wanted a broken home but im thinking the pain isnt worth it. Thank you again for being sane and understanding.

Monica

This is what I saw when I watched this show. I believe these three couples represent us all to a very large degree. We all have made mistakes in life. We are all on this journey called life, and lets be real, it's tuff. I give props to Dr. Phil for having the guts to stand up to people that need to hear the hard cold truth. I do not want to preach at people so please forgive me but I believe the Bible when it sais that love covers a multitude of sins, or offenses as it could be translated. These couple have hurt each other deeply and they are starving for love but trying to find love from a person who is love starved themselves is like trying to dig a well in the middle of the desert. Jesus said come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest, take my yoke upon you and learn from me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Jesus said to learn from him. Forgive and you shall be forgiven. If you don't forgive your heavenly father(ie. God) will not forgive you. These couples first have to figure out if their really committed to each other, offenses and all. God was committed to us when he sent his son to die on the cross for us. For God demonstrated his love to us in this that while we were sinners christ died for us. His unconditional love for us is why he sent His Son Jesus Christ to die for us in spite of our many wrongs against him. If we by faith can open our heart to receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior and receive from God the forgiveness of our sins by putting our faith in Jesus Christ as the One who died for us to pay for our sins then we can give an abundance of love (ie. forgiveness) to others when they have wronged us, and for these three couples that would be the best thing. I believe that.

  After viewing this episode, it appears that Monica is the dominant person in this relationship. She seems like a loud mouth smart aleck, believing that Cadum is the source of all her faults. Cadum on the other hand is such a handsome, unselfish individual. I am sure there are countless sweet, good-hearted woman that would be interested in Cadum (including myself) that would treat him with a lot more respect than that b**** does!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am disgusted with how Monica treats Cadum. She is rude, unattentive, harsh, disrespectul and obnoxiously loud. If i was spoken to like that, it would push me to complete anger. This marriage is NOT worth saving at all. In fact, i wouldnt trust a hamster, let alone a child under her supervision. 
Cadum would have a happier life without Monica. You have to ask yourself this question: Do I benefit from knowing this person? You don't!  Go to court, file for full custoday, and pray she never returns. 
Monica reminds me of the white trash, rude girls that purposely act out on the Jerry Springer show. 

I love your message! I am actually only 25 and I still wonder some days if my husband will ever grow up. We have struggled in our relationship, and even seperated, which isn't necessarily the anwser, and through faith we are working on things and making our relationship and marriage better. I think you are a wonderful mother for taking the time to talk to them about what it means to be part of a family. My husband and I watched a movie called Fireproof, and I would recommend it to you as a tool for your daughters and the men in their lives. It's not just for married couples but couples in general and how to strengthen their relationships and become partners, I hate seening the divorce rate so high because to me it means that we are losing sight of what the vows mean, marriage is not easy and is work, but the reward can be so great. I hope I will be able to share the same relationship with my two children the way that you are with yours...

I don't know how old you are, but I was 20 when I got married, and while we have had our problems like any other couple after marriage I think we have a stronger bond them some older couples that I have met. It saddens me that you have such little faith in people and the institute of marriage. Those that don't take the vows of marriage to heart are the ones that typically turn to divorce as a way out. Marriage is for better and worse, and I commend these young couples for taking this step to at least try and save their marriages, not only for themselves but for their families. I dislike when people use age as an excuse, and anyone who has been married for more then 5 years could probably tell you that the first 5 are some of the hardest, because that is when most start a family, or buy a house, etc... there are a lot of stresses on young couples, please don't doubt them, they need all the support they can get.

I am 27 years old and will celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary in August.  My husband and I got together the summer before my eight grade year and married the summer before my senior year.  We have a 10 year old and a four year old.  Though we have not had to deal with the devastation of alcoholism or violence, we have had our share of trouble.  Financial issues and issues of trust have periodically come into the picture and each time, we have to sit down and decide if it is worth it.  All I can say is that you can't stay with someone for the children or so that you won't be alone.  I can't imagine not having my husband by my side even though there are days that I could strangle him.  We have a partnership that requires constant time, energy, and a lot of prayer, but it is worth every tear and every sleepless night.  I always remind myself that nothing worth having comes easy!!  I wish these couples the best of luck in whatever happens.

Cadum --- Run, don't walk. You may need to grow up a bit, but it's not going to happen in this relationship.

I think Dr. Phil is one of the most fascinating and right people around today, but I think even he has a little blind spot that I've noticed over the years, and that is he really gets his hackles up over strong women who don't break down and cry and who really stand up for themselves.  I think he has either a personal or gender-based issue with this.  He doesn't seem to trust women who can stand up for themselves and he will look for underlying issues with them. 

That being said, I think he's being far too hard on Monica.  Of COURSE, she is the one controlling that household.  Her husband operates on the same level as a spoiled five-year-old boy in a culture where boys are allowed to do whatever.  You know, there are very few women who really WANT to be controlling, but a lot of them get thrown into that role, whether they're married or not, because people try to walk all over them, so they set limits and try to enforce those limits. 

All of these women have husbands who are just stubbornly refusing to do their part, plain and simple.  These are extreme cases, but in my part of the country, Texas, I don't know one woman who isn't having to do most of the childrearing and most of the housework and most of the nagging if they get ANY help at all.  That doesn't make them controlling, that makes their spouses spoiled recalcitrant ego maniacs.  When you're young and in love and no kids and obligations, it's easier to overlook this stuff, but we all hope they man up when it's time, mainly because they keep reminding us they're men.  And then they don't.  I don't think the women should be penalized for this.  You do have to learn to fight in life when you're a woman because people will walk all over you as long as you'll let them. 

In my opinion, each one of these women would be better off divorced and without these lazy uncooperative men in their lives.  I imagine most of them would even leave them full custody of the children since they have no interest in caring for them anyway, although a couple might remarry just to have a new babysitter.  Life would be easier without these men.  That's the bottom line.  They are just one more argumentative mouth to feed at this point.  Dump them.

I found it very interesting to be watching these shows. Technically, I am a young wife myself. I was married at 21 and now have a 4 year old daughter. Yes,  my husband and I have had our issues and fights, but it isnt anything we cant work through. I think these 6 people need to do a little soul searching and ask themselves the tough questions, particularly relating to if these are safe environments to be raising children in. Now I just have a few things to say to the 6 individuals.
Jenna - Kudos to you for making efforts, but you are still scary. Seeing how angry you get makes me scared for your children's safety as well as your fiancee's. Yes he has made mistakes, but you are also making plenty of your own. Own up to them and make an honest effort to fix them, at least for your kids sake. You need to let the infidelity thing go. Im not saying its okay or that what he did (whether he really did it or not) wasnt bad - but you need to let it go for your own health. I dont want to know how high your blood pressure is when you get so mad - your body is not designed for that kind of stress. Relax. If this is a deal breaker for you (and you cant get past it), stay at the house to work on your anger, then leave. Life is too short to be angry all the time.
Ed - Wake up, you are an alcoholic. It is not cool to cheat on your wife. Also, maybe you shouldnt yell at Jenna, maybe you too need to work out a signal word too help her calm down. That might prevent the fights from escalating. One of these days you need to apologize for the infidelities - even the ones you deny - apologize for it appearing that way. You have no idea how much it hurts to find out your partner was or may have been unfaithful - it is a huge blow to your ego as well - add your comments about shes fat and ugly and you are an emotional abuser too. Jenna isnt the only one needing help. 
Monica - Calm down - you yell louder than Jenna does. No offence, of course there is something wrong with you. If there wasnt, you wouldnt have married him or have stayed with him. Do you honestly believe how Cadum acts is the only reason you are controlling - get a grip on a reality check - if you arent there to work on your problems to, you are wasting everyone's time.
Cadum - I cant believe how immaturely you behave. Do you have any idea how hurtful it is to be laughing and smirking at a woman when she is pouring her heart out, or telling you what she needs to stay with you? Do you even know you are doing it? You are not mature enough to be in a relationship. You two need some space I think.
Tara - Kudos on your efforts. But as with Jenna - calm down, you dont have to fight over everything. It is unacceptable to fight in front of your kids - especially if you do it enough that they try to stop you. Search your soul to find out what you really want from yourself and Matt.
Matt - Kudos on your efforts. But as with Tara, it is unacceptable to fight in front of your kids - especially if you do it enough that they try to stop you. Whether you meant the killing thing as a joke or not - it still will terrify someone, and it is something that she will never forget - do not play it down ever. By the way, unless you want to swap jobs with Tara, try to help out with the kids or spend time with them more. If you need a few minutes alone, work it out with Tara that x number of minutes at this time is just yours, but then allow her the same curtesy and watch the kids. Search your soul to find out what you really want from yourself and Tara.