Depression and Grief


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Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

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Replied By: nightlady on Jul 18, 2016, 11:36PM
Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself but if I didn't have my 86 year mom to worry about, I'd just check out.  You'd think I was an only child and I have two brothers.  One lives 15 minutes from us, so does both of his grown daughters and we never hear from any of them.  Mom and I both have been sick for over a week with the stomach flu and they know it but we haven't heard from any of them. My older brother lives in Minnesota and he can't do anything.  I'm so tired of trying to do this by myself.  Thank goodness my mom can pretty much take care of herself but she is starting to fail, especially mentally and it gets harder and harder for me.  I'm not in the best of health and struggle to take care of myself.  When she's gone, I'm gone because no one really cares.  I'm 64 years old, never married and no kids so there won't be anyone to take care of me. Sorry, but I'm really sad and angry tonight and just had to vent a little.
Replied By: nightlady on Jul 7, 2016, 10:28PM - In reply to yesyoucan
I loved my birds so much and still miss them but they can cost you some money.  Not only are they expensive to buy but if you have to take them to the vet that costs and not all vets take care of birds.  Birds can get stressed easy and may pick out all their feathers.  Once they start that it's hard to get them to stop.  The Cockatiel can learn to talk and if they stay in good health they can live a long time.  I had a Green Cheek Conure and she said a few words but they aren't known to be talkers.  Parakeets can be real good talkers but they are hard to understand.  The bigger birds are better talkers but you are talking about paying thousands of dollars for one of those and you have to have a huge cage for then that cost hundreds of dollars.  I guess if you have a lot of time and money a bird is a nice pet to have but if you want to go somewhere you're kind of stuck unless you have someone come in and take care of them.  At this stage of my life my dog is about all I can handle and sometimes she is to much, but I love her.  Hope you are doing well these days.  I'm struggling with my depression and lack of sleep.  If I could go to bed at a decent hour and sleep 6 or 7 hours straight, that would be a miracle.  I fall asleep in my chair in front of the TV for a couple of hours then get up and go to bed and can't get back to sleep and when I do I wake up every hour or so and it takes me awhile to go back to sleep.  I usually get up anywhere from 3 AM to 5 AM and maybe I've gotten a total of 3 1/2 to 4 hours of sleep all night.  It's crazy.  I think I worry about stuff to much and it keeps me awake.  I almost have panic attacks at night thinking about everything.  I sleep better sitting in my chair with the TV on than I do when I get in bed.  I have slept all night in my chair with the TV on. lol  Well, I guess I've gone on long enough.  Talk to you soon.

Replied By: yesyoucan on Jul 4, 2016, 9:05PM - In reply to nightlady
I think I may get another inside bird instead of more roosters.  We were cleaning coop and just in fair condition.  Trying to decide if can repair enough to give away as if can if we still wanted a coop, if free, that'd do.  There's someone a half hour away who is seeking a free coop.  We do good deeds sometimes.  

I absolutely love roosters and even chickens.  Birds are smarter than people give them credit for.  I'm certain Fonzie and Pixie were geniuses.  When we got them the person said you'll love watching them and we both did.  Fonzie hung out in workshop, man cave, w/Lynn like a little assistant.  

Zebra finches are a lot of company and quite vocal, too, like a mini rooster.  Although, always sort of wanted a parrot.  I like cockatiels too that look like have blush on their cheeks.  That parots live long is incentive to get one and stick around.  I need to research more.  If you can think of any other information to share let me know.  Parot cost, care tips etc.  I know I can Google yet you cannot beat personal experience like yours.  That is... share if not too emotional for you.
Replied By: nightlady on Jul 3, 2016, 2:15AM - In reply to yesyoucan
It depends on the bird.  Some parrots can live to be very old, so old they tell you if you're going to buy one to make provisions for it should you pass away before it does.  Smaller parrots can live 20 years or more if they stay healthy.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jun 30, 2016, 9:49PM
How long do parots live?  Roosters can live to be 12.  Occasionally, I see free parots with cage on craigslist yet so far never nearby.  I used to have a zebra finch and two canaries and the zebra finch was much like a rooster beginning his cute little reveille when the sun came up.  He was a fun alarm clock.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jun 28, 2016, 10:01PM - In reply to nightlady
It is always good whenever I stop by and see that you've stopped by, too.  

It is very lonely in the country so I go on short trips to a country Thrift Store that has been there for 28 years next door to the Church of Christ.  Owner said she's lonely too.  Owner goes to Church of Christ and wants me to go too.  I've thought about a few times and "may" Sunday as I can always tape Joel Osteen.  

She's a character as I couldn't remember our cell phone number since Lynn just got it so she called everyone in city, she said, to find me and amazingly did.   We'd gotten new landline number too due to so many solicitation calls. This is a very small city yet still.  LOL...  My neighbor called and said "the owner of Thrift Store trying to find you."  

Then our landline out two weeks so we had disconnected since not first time and most out here don't have landlines since service SO undependable.  Owner of Thrift Store called neighbor across from us who we hadn't given new number to yet who called neighbor who stops by to be sure we are still alive who we'd given new number to one of the times he stopped by to see if we are still alive.  That could be why he stopped by since couldn't get us.   Neighbor said that Thrift Store owner wanted to be sure I was okay.  It was after I told her about cottonmouth near front door so thoughtful for her to do.  Country folk check on each other since things happen.  They are blunt and succinct too.  Like the neighbor who told us that he just stops by once in awhile to be sure we are still alive.  LOL...  So far so good...

Today we got home from errands and owner of Thrift Store called and left message saying that she was lonely so I went to take her a cupcake.  She's a senior citizen.  LOL!  Guess I'm one too yet she's had more practice.  Anyway, she is a bit scared since she's been feeling faint.  Had a bunch of tests this week.  Keeps me in practice driving and only about seven minutes away on seldom traveled road so relatively safe since I can only see out of one eye.  Plus, keeps me in practice driving so whenever I get other eye fixed if fixable I'll still know how to drive and won't be scared to from not driving.  No surprise THE DOCTORS tv show still haven't called me or I'd have fixed.  Oh well, someone tell Dr. Phil and The Doctors I'm available for a makeover even if only just my right eye, please.  

Thanks for saying to be careful.  I love to be reminded as I surely don't want to ever never ever get snake bit.  The idea of that has always creeped me out.  Eddie and Lassie are still with us though Lassie is grandma dog and Eddie has nasal cancer and his nose looks pitiful.  Veterinarian said as long as he's eating he must still want to be around and he is.  Did you ever get another parrot?  

I've been grieving the loss of our pet Rooster Fonzie and his hen pal, Pixie.  Both Rhode Island Reds.  We had Fonzie about two years and Pixie a little over a year.  We've lost all four roosters (Fonzie, Kernal Sanders, Amos and Andy) and all five hens (Alice, Catarina, DOTee, Crystal and Pixie).  Lynn said I couldn't have anymore chickens since wildlife keep nabbing so I gave coop to neighbor who keeps checking to be sure we are still alive.  However, he doesn't seem to want and said we could always put on burn pile.  It's worth about $50 and he'd broken his tractor window so I was trying to be nice in case he might want to sell.  Coops are very popular out here.

I hope neighbor doesn't  want coop now, and not just kidding about putting on burn pile and really wants, because Lynn said I can paint and get another pet rooster.  See most don't want too many roosters so often free on craigslist and often wind up in rooster stew.  Place we got Fonzie free said that "illegal immigrants with a car load of kids stopped by to get seven roosters before us and said going to make rooster stew out of them and just crammed them all in their trunk." 

I asked Lynn, if a rooster would you want to end up in rooster stew or have a fighting chance on a farm. Lynn decided he'd want a fighting chance on farm.  Fonzie was a happy rooster so now I so get your sadness losing your parrot.  I'd almost love to have a rooster sanctuary since most just want egg laying hens.  I did love all my chickens though.  Like dogs each has their own personality.  Fonzie and Kernal Sanders would knock on door w/beaks for a grated cheese, doughnut etc. treat.  First time I was like "Who's tapping on door?"  There'd be Fonzie and Kernal Sanders.  Wish chicken not on the menu of so many wildlife creatures out here.  I even have a hand painted rooster armoir I paid $80 for on craigslist.  They steal your heart PLUS scare off snakes and eat bugs and were always up by front door foraging to protect me or to search for goodies in-between treat handouts.  Texas Sized Hugging Prayers...
Replied By: nightlady on Jun 27, 2016, 7:47PM - In reply to yesyoucan
Be careful and watch out for those snakes.  Up where I used to live, a friend of mines dog got bit by a rattlesnake.  It survived but they were lucky.  I hate snakes too.  I was out watering the other night and a big alligator lizard  came out from behind one of my potted plants.  That scared me half to death.  My little nephews would have loved it.  They are always going out trying to find lizzard.  They have several that their parents have bought for them.  They are alway trying to get me hold one of them.  No thank you.  It's alway good to come on the Dr. Phil board and see you are still here.  Take care and be careful when you're out walking.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jun 27, 2016, 10:14AM - In reply to nightlady
I kid you not...  Not less than five minutes ago I just was saying, "I'm taking Joel Osteen's advice and going on a news break."  When I went to a seminar at Richland College years ago not watching news was advised since stressful.  Although, part of tension in my eyes is Lynn killing a cotton mouth snake in front of house by walkway this past week.  Then, the next day on the way to town near driveway another snake stretched out that I couldn't tell if a stick or a snake at first that Lynn confirmed a snake.  

In fact, I'm ready to move back to city.  If my grandmother or dad still alive and lived in my hometown, THE first snake I saw here by house I would have been packed and gone.  Living here is like a living nightmare so I totally cannot deal with the non-stop drama on news.  My snake distress is to the level of Dr. Jennifer Ashton on Dr. Phil and his son Jay's show, "The Doctors."  They allow her to not be on stage when snakes on show talking about snake anxiety.  Shakespeare may say the world is all a stage and we are all merely actors yet Dr. Ashton nor I are faking our intense snake anxiety.  It is real and a very real and present danger here.  Okay if country brave like Lynn yet, alas, I am not.

Personally, I think that the news is often a catalysit to the proliferation of publicity seeking tragedy of terrorists etc. evil persons.  Now, far too many too, seek a nano second of fame for the flowers they leave to be on the news at the latest tragedy sight and use as an excuse to go there and be on camera.  "Oh, look there's my flowers I left..."  Persons who may never give flowers to their mom or a dear friend to validate and appreciate while alive... pile in a heap hoping to see theirs on the news. 

IMO  Protests that wouldn't grow as large as do if not in hopes to be on the news grow to point of anarchy levels blocking traffic of persons just trying to get home after working hard all day.  And there the news folks are seeing how many different ways they can describe situation all the while inciting and exacerbating.  As everyone asks how and why, perhaps, the news media should just go look in the mirror to find the answer to how and why...  However, the not sharing of information again like experts said led to 9/11 disaster occurred again to when FBI questioned man in Florida THREE times yet no record nor had local authorities been made aware.  Once again that's supposed to change...  Common sense to have always done.  Common sense is not so common always...

Not to mention the exploitation and abuse of the first amendment that has drug us all down into the gutter.  Oh well, since this isn't an English class I won't go on.  Believe it or not I used to get A's for my passionate writing in college yet oh well...  I'm passionate about Emotional and Life Skill Education K-12 since parents cannot teach what haven't learned.  Maya Angelous quote, "When we know better we do better."  Those who know better need to do better and those who don't need to be taught.  I guess I'm preaching to the choir.  Good to see you Barb...
Replied By: nightlady on Jun 26, 2016, 5:41PM
You fight to keep from falling into the darkness and then you turn on the TV or go on the internet and everywhere hatred and murder, people killing their own children, or abusing them, people abusing animals, I don't understand.  What is wrong with people, with society.  All the murder and violence is acceptable to everyone?????  Society is out of control.  I'm afraid to even leave the house anymore.  This isn't a world I want to live in.  Things have got to change, we are going to hell in a handbasket and no one seems to care.  People seem to think that as long as it doesn't touch them, it doesn't matter.  Wake up people.  Just saying!!!!!!
Replied By: yesyoucan on May 16, 2016, 1:32AM - In reply to mindsthunder
I just popped in since my hair wasn't quite dry yet need to get some sleep, now.  Leaving all y'all in God's hands via prayer... 


If ever you reach out in word 
And feel like no one heard 
To me each comment that I see 
Are like prayers rising up to Thee

After you left with all your tears 
Combined with all your haunting fears 
People stopped to read words you left 
Sending prayers for you to be blessed

Parting prayers prayed to help you some 
So you feel uplifted when here you come 
And when no one knows what to say 
Now and then know for you many pray

Thus if after you bare your soul 
You feel no one heard... not one soul 
I wanted you to know I stopped by 
Said a prayer for you signed please reply
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