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Depression and Grief


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Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

Click here for General and Mental Health Resources.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Feb 4, 2016, 11:46PM - In reply to nightlady
Hey Barb... nice to see you again.  I remembered quote that sort of summises what I was talking about earlier caving when belittled.  Eleanor Roosevelt:  "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  I no longer consent and hadn't realized allowing to get me down, in a way, was consenting.  

We went to get horse feed and a few other items.  Lynn drops me off at Thrift Store occasionally.  Today, ladies pants 50 cents today and t-shirts a quarter.  Saturday is 50% off day which will cover things not on sale today although t-shirts 75% off today and pants for 50 cents today usually $3.  

Our Dutch American neighbor gave us two chickens.  Don't know if roosters or chickens or one of each.  Roosters don't crow till about 5 months old and they are 3 months old.  Pixie was nabbed by wildlife first of February.  These two chickens are black so Lynn named Amos and Andy after a TV show.  I was concerned yet saw DVDs made of TV series so I guess not a poltically correct violation.  My brother's name is Andy anyway.  He was like, "I'm not sure how I feel about that since don't know if a rooster yet or not."  I said I'd change to Andie.  He said Andi would suffice.  Sometimes his subtle humor can have you in stitches.  

We talked tonight and he asked if I was still for Trump and he said he's for Bernie Sanders.  Well, bedtime so this is shorter...  Hugging prayers, SEA
Replied By: nightlady on Feb 4, 2016, 11:55AM - In reply to yesyoucan
You are always there to encourage and help, thanks.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Feb 4, 2016, 11:25AM - In reply to keciapratt
Short since about to go to town on errands.  Be sure to copy/paste what you wrote here to "Be On The Show" opportunities since Dr. Phil goes the distance when helping.  Sounds like everyone is hurting.  I pray that your prayers are answered in the most optimum way.  

Sometimes a family SELF MATTERS notebook can help.  On front (write): SELF MATTERS INCLUDES TEAM: Then ad your and children's names and even their father's name (if comfortable with).  You all then ONLY put positive compliments about one another.  Ten a day.  You can even compliment children if they don't want to participate.  Have in a visible place so they see how much they mean to you.  They'll be curious and we all need a cheering section yet sometimes we adults have to pat ourselves on back so be sure and include compliments of your attributes too.  Just a suggestion...

ONLY compliments and positive goals and positive affirmations.  If too hard to add your husband try to refrain from critiquing him in front of chidlren.  You might could put his attributes you saw when met him.  They may tell him and get him out of defensive mode.  Sharing compliments are WAY better/healing than sharing insults parents have for each other.   "Life is mostly habit."  You've likely seen that on Dr. Phil how damaging insulting other parent to child is.  

Dr. Phil says it takes a 1000 ataboys to heal every criticism so y'all have a lot of compliments to begin giving each other to cheer your team on.  SELF MATTERS INCLUDES you, your daughter and son and even their dad.  That doesn't mean anything done to each other to hurt was right if done.  That just means You and he will always be your children's parents and they will always be a part of you both.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Feb 4, 2016, 11:16AM - In reply to nickmoran
Welcome.  Glad you were able to get out of abusive relationship.  Sorry you are feeling depressed and hope you feel better soon.  Being proactive helps as you were coming here...  Keep reaching out until you find the help that helps.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Feb 4, 2016, 10:58AM - In reply to nightlady
Been missing seeing you here so I haven't been on in awhile.  During a VERY traumatic time in my life that happened to me.  Believe it or not after being insulted here about giving up on ever being on a reality show for medical, dental and visual makeover and new home since only persons with children chosen and most my family had died...  I bought a home.  Well, a bookcase up in photo taken down and HUGE crack across where had been covered by bookcase.  

Eleanor Roosevelt:  "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  Unfortunately, I consented and bought into being belittled "hook, line and sinker" and not the first time.  It is liberating when you see a quote and you have an empowering epiphany.

Saw horrible accident in front of me on way to close on house which made me realize a bit late how stupid I was reacting in want of a better response.  We are entitled to our dreams.  Said didn't want house so realtor said okay just return to Dallas.  Did then told me if I didn't close they'd sue me.  Logistics of that a nightmare so closed, put house up for sale and lost $3,000 of my savings to have a home in home town again.  Sold house for more yet cost to keep lawn mowed, utilities on to show, get fire extinguisher, fix gas line etc.  

Anyway, you can imagine how reality of it all made me beyond anxious to point concerned I'd lose it.  LOL, although I guess I'd already lost it buying house since not even in home town yet was in same State.  All from being bullied online about my dream to be chosen for reality show being stupid.  Well, maybe "stupid" too as never was chosen and wrote in so many times got writers cramp.  LOL!  Just asked again.  That said, but for seeing others get dream on TV I wouldn't have ever even considered.  Nonetheless, I accept responsibility.  Boy did I...

I'd been talking about SELF MATTERS notebooks here writing SELF MATTERS INCLUDES and signing name like autograph.  I felt so stupid that I grabbed notebook and saw where had done before "Fear Not. Have Faith." which was on one of my fave shows: "Touched By An Angel."  Felt peace writing so kept writing and kept feeling calmer and calmer which was amazing considering mess I CREATED for myself.  That is why I suggest to people because my saving grace.  I think the connotative meaning stored in our memory for "Fear Not. Have Faith." has a calming effect to write over and over "Fear Not. Have Faith."  

Plus, since I felt like a complete fool more so than dreaming of a medical, dental and visual makeover and cottage in my home town to take too big of a risk using my savings to get a fixer upper not even in hometown.  I have made so many second hand choices being influenced by bullies belittling me yet, you know what, second hand choices have consequences too and you have to own them.  I got into that habit from being a battered wife in first marriage, "Learned Helplessness."

Anyway, writing SELF MATTERS INCLUDES and signing my name like an autograph helped me to forgive myself and regain my confidence after that enormous blunder.  I know what I did unhinged.  Plan was to get house and a job since I felt more self respect when I worked for OU and had insurance since domestic engineer lifestyle just not respected by others.  However, key is respecting self.  I guess a hard way to learn to respect self and not cave to insults yet, oh well, none of us are perfect and I definitely know that includes me.  Of course, I'd done not long after mom's death and was still grieving since hit me so hard yet no excuse.  

It isn't quite as intimidating to see point where my decision making could have yielded a better result then I feel more control to avoid at least some mishaps in my life.  Including my thought diet can effect how I feel.  So, too, whenever I beat up on myself running the reels of should've, could've, would've, what's happening or what may happen.  Well, I began timing myself and saw how much time I lost.  

Too, I realized we can get drunk on sadness or anxiousness or panic entertaining those thoughts.  I no longer grab a bowl of popcorn and binge to validate my pain, however justifide.  Sure we all have unwanted thoughts occasionally to a greater or lesser degree yet "life IS mostly habit."  It take practice, practice, practice to get ourselves upset running "what if" reels and "what was or may never be reels."  I'm sharing and not critiquing your life because all we can do is share experiences and what helped each of us as individuals.  Yet, while sharing anytime I have, I hope some find something that helps them too.  Some things are beyond our control and Serenity Prayer helps me then.  Dr. Phil:  "You are the one who talks to you all day every day, characterize messages to yourself by a rational and productive optimism."

I was actually shocked how much writing "Fear Not. Have Faith" helped since so panicked about my house predicament and helps now prn.  Shocked how much writing SELF MATTERS INCLUDES me and signing my name like an autograph helps.  Also, breathing exercise Dr. Phil and his son talk about help using Martial Arts breathing exercise of breathing in and out to count of 5 each way to equalize breathing.  I actually adapted saying or thinking same length "Have Faith" as breathed in and "Fear Not" as breathed out.  Dr. Phil originally said breathe in and out to count of 7 each way.  However, he's six feet tall.  He revised on an episode of the doctors to calm yourself breathing in and out to 3 each way.  I use that a lot too now, plus if lying down Jay's count to 5 each way or Dr. Phil's original to 7 each way.  Depends how stressed I am whether self-induced stress (THEN I change thought channel), unexpected stress etc.  Internal or external stress, that is.  Dr. Phil:  "Life isn't cured it is managed.  You are never alone if you are there for you."  Be There.  

Dr. Phil quotes help me too and I have many memorized as these I shared.  Most less than perfect thoughts or circumstances I've found myself I wasn't there for me including but not limited to house drama, ever becoming so down on myself, in first marriage abuse that I almost became my worst abuser via suicide.  So glad I failed since I later graduated from college with honors and had some of best times ever with my renewed relationship with my dad.  Sadly, he passed just before my graduation.    Now, I never let any person, place or thing get me that down... especially not me... THAT I can control... with practice, practice, practice.  Over 30 years now anyway.  G2G we're going to town.  Hope sharing what helps me helps you even though we are both individuals and I know you are hurting and your feelings every bit as valid as mine..  I just want you to find ways to feel better too as we go way back, Barb, in an online sort of way, here.  I hope this helps, Barb.  

Too, saw some professional help techniques for anxiety etc. induced racing thoughts via Google.  Dr. Phil and his son, Jay's, breathing exercises help me as does my SELF MATTERS notebook idea.  Texas Sized Hugging Prayers to you, Barb, and ALL.  SEA
Replied By: nightlady on Feb 3, 2016, 11:11PM
I know if I just hang on the things I'm feeling and thinking will pass, but sometimes it's such a struggle to keep on fighting this horrible depression.  Don't know how to turn off the brain.  I don't drink or do drugs so there is no escape.  I'm trapped with thoughts that want to lead me into a very dark place.  I can't even escape into sleep because I can't go to sleep or stay asleep, my brain won't stop.  Wishing I could just pull the plug on my brain.
Replied By: frannyfarkle on Feb 1, 2016, 3:31AM - In reply to nickmoran
I truly hope that find the support you are looking for. Have a great week.
Replied By: nickmoran on Jan 30, 2016, 12:21AM
hey everyone,

my name is Nick and I am A gay man from Canada.  Ive suffered depression all of my childhood from being bullied.  I have no good memories.  I got out of a physically and mentally abusive relationship three years ago and havnt been the same since.
Replied By: keciapratt on Jan 26, 2016, 7:45PM
I viewed a story a couple of weeks ago about a young girl of three sisters who was having trouble coping. I could relate. My 18 year old daughter is going through a lot of confusion. The episode today hit home due to the possibility of why she may be going through what she's going through due to her father & I separating, for sure this time. I'm even seriously considering relocating in order for us to not reconcile. My poor daughter is not understanding any of this & is lashing out. She spent her Christmas (5 days before & after the actual day) hanging out with the homeless on skid row. At this very moment, she's with me, her mother, but I'm unsure of how long she will stay. If I try & convince her to stay, she'll just threaten to call the police on me and tell them that I'm holding her against her will. The father refuses to do anything because in his previous attempts, she has cursed him out & terrorized his new girlfriend & their household together. He's even verbally abused her by telling her that no wanted her or no one loved her; hence, why we're no longer together. He is a verbal & psychological abuser. We also have an autistic 15 year old who he recently forced child custody from me. We now share custody; around 60/40 instead of the previous 93% verses his 7%. I just continue to pray for all of my children & continue to 'mother' as well as possible.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 28, 2015, 10:54AM - In reply to fabulousbeauty
Looks like you have a New Year's Resolution.  Dr. Phil quote, "If you can name it you can change it."  You named it.  You are the Google master so look up how to conquer an obsession and addiction.  Dr. Phil search box likely has some tips too.  The C word most of us have to apply is commitment to change.  Took practice to get obsessed with COJO and will take equal practice not going with COJO urges you entertain and pursue.  You can do it IF, as Dr. Phil says,  YOU "Commit to do."  2016 is a blank canvas to create a new you.  Me too.  WE too.  

Obsessions? December 10, 2008

What is an obsession? Is it harmless? Or is it interfering with your life? How is it different from a passion, habit or quirk?

Obsession: Conscious preoccupation with ideas that interfere with thought or action. Quirk: Peculiar habit, mannerism or aspect of character. Habit: Behavior pattern acquired by frequent repetition. Passion: Strong desire or devotion to something. 
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