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Depression and Grief


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Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

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Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 2, 2014, 2:15PM - In reply to sundaiz
Had family in Tulsa and Dr. Phil was born not far from Tulsa in Vinita, OK.

That sounds serious and I was unaware considered MTBI - "Mild" Traumatic Brain Injury

I agree.  I'm like you and many of the things shown on "Funniest Videos" where looks like person got hurt not funny at all to me.  I haven't had as many MTBI's as you yet a few.  Have you ever seen or do you remember Road Runner cartoon where things got dropped on Coyote's head?  At five a boy dropped a brick on my head after watching Road Runner.  i was hiding in box during neighborhood kid game of "hide and seek" & he climbed up tree and dropped brick on my head.  Still have a scar.  Hope things get better for you and your being proactive they will.  Be sure and notice CONTACT DR. PHIL and BE ON THE SHOW above.  Glad you joined us.  Take care of yourself...
Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 2, 2014, 1:55PM - In reply to goodguy01
So sorry for the loss of your mom and other pain you've been through.  When my mother passed away as a VIOXX casualty I was devastated. It wasn't until one day when I woke up at the same time nurse called me to tell me mother passed that I happened to turn TV on to Joel Osteen.  He was sharing about the loss of his dad and spoke of "rising from the ashes to grasp the beauty of today."  I've lost most my cheering section and, like you, I miss tremendously my parents and grandparents being in my corner rooting me on.  Thank goodness I found Joel Osteen who is a cheerleader for life.  We can only share here what has helped each one of us as individuals all the while knowing since we are all individuals this may or may not work for you to watch Joel Osteen.  

From personal experience I have found not only is walking a mood elevator and a stress reducer too.  Breathing exercises can help too.  You don't have to do lots and can just do five in and out cleansing breaths.  To counts equally each way of 3, 5, or 7.  Recently, Dr. Phil did to count of 3 each way on his son's show, The Doctors.  Breathe in to count of three, exhale to count of three... five times.  Gently touch finger tips as you do each one to ground yourself.  Breathing in healing forces and exhaling destabling emotions I think is how Dr. Phil puts it in one of his books.  

A SELF MATTERS notebook is good too to point your thoughts in a positive direction being your loudest cheerleader.  A notebook with a schedule of healthy habits, of sleep, diet and exercise, to refer to is good too.   Medication won't teach better coping skills or habits yet we can retrain ourselves to not react and respond with practice, practice, practice.  That's not saying medication doesn't help it just isn't always the end all cure all and sometimes is just treating the symptoms of needing to create healthier habits including our thought diet, coping skills and making healthier choices in general.

I began timing myself of how long I'd roll the tapes of everything wrong, now and then, which didn't change one thing and was time consuming and draining.  I was almost on automatic pilot I had such a habit of seeing the glass half full.  Then, like Dr. Phil suggests, I took back the steering wheel of my life and got out of the passenger seat.  This is my life and my life has value and so does yours so we all need to value our lives.  Dr. Phil is correct that "You are never alone if you are there for you."  BE THERE.  Whenever, I was at my lowest it is when I was no longer there for me.  You are the star of your life... shine on...  

Sometimes routine things give you a sense of accomplishment when done, like household chores, even if don't feel like doing so have to focus on how good will feel when done.  So, on that note, I am going to fix dinner for my husband.  What are you up to today?  A good physical is always a good idea plus sometimes B12 shots can help... ask your doctor...   We don't learn from osmosis how to think positively and takes practice, practice, practice (one more positive thought at a time) especially if we no longer have a cheering section.  Your mother would want you to be your best friend and loudest cheerleader loving yourself as much as she loved you.  Wishing you all the best always...  Plan on it...
Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 2, 2014, 1:38PM - In reply to alissaling
Sadly, I do believe all that is possible from the many things I've personally seen or heard about in my life and on The Dr. Phil Show... and even here.  So sorry for all you went through...  

Love your Grumpy Cat profile picture you chose.  Last night I watched Grumpy Cats Worst Christmas Ever.  Which reminds me I want to Google what kind of cat that is besides "Grumpy Cat" as cuddly cute.  Even though I'm allergic to cats I'd still hug Grumpy Cat in movie as too cute to not.  

You can copy what you wrote to copy/paste to send to Dr. Phil or BE ON THE SHOW opportunities by clicking BE ON THE SHOW above or CONTACT DR. PHIL.  Also, if you are needing dental care occasionally The Doctors, TV show of Dr. Phil's son, Jay, does dental makeovers.  I'm still waiting in line yet Dr. Phil "and" The Doctors say they choose most they help from those who write and email in and they do A LOT of makeovers.  There's lots of people writing in yet you have as much chance as anyone else to be chosen and many are.  Lots aren't chosen yet lots are.  I'm sure Dr. Phil Show and The Doctors prays for all those unable to help just like we do here.  Yet you never know... next person helped could be you.  

 Dr. Phil has a saying I love:  "Sometimes we have to rise above our raising."  Keep being proactive reaching out until you find the help that helps and "always" BE THERE for you.  "You are never alone if you are there for you," as you were coming here.

Excellent to be proactive reaching out for help until you find the help you need.  You are wise to be cautious on public boards as we all should be.  Vent all you need to with that in mind.  We all have and SELF MATTERS INCLUDES YOU...
Replied By: alissaling on Dec 1, 2014, 1:24PM
I am going to try to explain my story in some small way without giving way to much info because it is very easy to do that with my story and when I do people think it's to much to fast or they don't believe me. Yes I know that my story might sound insane but it is very true like it or not.

Let's start at the beginning I guess, I'll try my best to explain and please give me a chance......I remember it from the eyes of a 4 year old little girl that was never able to be a real little girl. See my "family" was not your normal family, I was born as a toy for my parents...not my name, it came from them. To my father I was a sex doll and to my mother I was a bunching bag. So much so that by the time I was 4 I had to start running away because my father would rape me any chance he could, my mother knew it was going on but she told me it was my fault for letting him do I had a chose. I don't remember a lot of my childhood because of what started to happen next.......My parents didn't want the truth to come out so they made me ask how did they do that? They did that by literally bashing in the skull on the kitchen floor with a solid wood table and chairs. My father would sit on the chair that was on top of me like a cage that I could not get out mother was on the floor with me helping my father slam the table leg into my head over and over again. I do not know how many times they did it because I kept blacking out. My mother would ask me..."are you going to forget" and me trying to be strong and said no I will never forget what you did to me.

This went on for over many many hours....after sometime my father would do other things to me when he was sitting in the chair on top of he would spit on me, he would pee on me, he would punch me in the mouth plus more. After the night was over I came to on the floor of the kitchen and could barly even move but when I was able to get up I found them sleeping in there bed. I went into the bathroom to look at myself but couldn't stop crying when I did. My face was huge, black and blue, covered in huge lumps, some of my teeth were knocked out, I was covered in both pee and poop , I looked like I got slammed into a brick wall face first repeatably. skull was cracked on top of everything.

I was told that if I told anyone about anything next time it would be ask yourself how could it get any could and it did because that little bit that might sound like so much for a child to have to live with but that was only 5% of the story of what my parents did to me. I would go on but I don't want to freak people out anymore then I might have already.........I need help because no one ever helped me, they have gotten away with what they did to me and they now have moved onto a new doll. I have tried so hard to get someone to help me help them but no one believes me so no one will help.....PLEASE HELP, PLEASE HEAR ME, PLEASE I AM BEGGING.....PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Replied By: goodguy01 on Nov 30, 2014, 11:20PM
all my life  I been through all sort's of abuse, my self esteem has been pretty bad since childhood , seem's people are always underminding my effort's to succeed and same with my trying to help my community  to be a better place to live all I want is to make a differrance in the live's of those less fortunite then me and get some kind of reckonition of some sort , everything I ever tried to succeed in my life I have been a complete failure, I been kicked down so many times and been defeated my whole life,I get  laughed at,  and betrayed and insulted and even bullied, and taken advantaged of  and shunned and unappreciated and I get taken for grantate ,all cos I have a big heart  even though my childhood and adult hood was never really a walk in the park  ,I suffered 2 bad marriage's and been lied to ,cheated on and almost murdered by these women  and had addiction issue's  as a teen and again later as an adult   due to all the trauma I deal 2with in my life,I do attend AA meetings  the past 8 year's I keep trying to do right by other's but later I keep getting the usual slap in the face, a lot of time's I feel absolutely worthless,I suffer from being developtmentally disabled, PTSD,  anxiety bipolar depression no one understands me or get's it I am just trying to fit in and  do what is right and trying to be loved which love is one real thing I never really had to be realistic here, and all else I just want to make a difference and be appreciated and reconised for my good work and be cut a break every so often and be liked but seem's NO ONE is willing to give me a chance and open door's for me for anything I try to do ,my mom passed on at a young age of 65 and that traumatised me to no end she seemed to have been the one person who stood by me the most she wasnt perfect and  had some serious mental health issues and wasnt the perfect mother but she done her best for what she had to offer my mom made plenty mistake's but she was also my best alie I hate myself so much m7y whole life I never really liked myself my class mate's and some abusive family members as well as my step father made sure of this that i keep getting torn down,harrassed,embarrassed and abused and bullied as much as possible, this sort of life long trend can do a number on a person as it is doing to me in my life I have some good days and weeks butI am never a hundred percent happy  my church is very clicky and the last time i went there they shunned me and humiliated me [the pastor] so i walked out and never came back story of my life. if [ DR. PHIL ] wishe's to help me cope and try to fix this in any way  he is more then welcomed TIRED OF FEELING STRESSED OUT AND LONELY,ANGRY AND DEPRESSED!!
Replied By: wingsoflife7 on Nov 28, 2014, 7:35PM - In reply to hurtgirl11
You are welcome to chat with me any time.
Replied By: sundaiz on Nov 25, 2014, 6:47PM
I have suffered multiple head injuries. the most recent was due to a car wreck. chiropractor Barry Roberts diagnosed Me with Post Concussion Syndrome. Two years later I bullied my Lawyer to send Me for a psych evaluation. The result of that was I had MTBI. 

 I thouroughly dislike America's Funniest Video's because of the humor people find in someone being "Bonked' on the head. 

I recently ran into a couple I went to school with. I was telling the husband that I had MTBI due to a head injury and He started laughing. That made Me remember all the fly balls that hit me in the face in grade school gym softball. It happened too often to count. And it hurt worse because of the laughter.

My first injury was when I was around 18 mos old and my Mom and Aunt put my cousin in the playpen with me. I had a wooden radio was a music box. My cousin and I struggled over it and when He finally had it He hit me with it, and I had My first concussion.

I was walking home from school one day, by myself, when two boys from my class passed by in a car and one of them threw thier clay art project at me and hit me in the head. I came to got up from the ground and cried all the way home.

In sixth grade two of my friends and our sisters were walking home from school, I had gotten a little ahead of them when One of them asked me something. I turned to look back at them. thats when a younger boy stepped out from behind a tree and hit me in the head with a large piece of  asphalt. I came to staring at the sky about half a block from where we started, My friends and little sisters were all crying they thought I was dead. Again I had a concussion.

I made poor grades in school and was held to my brothers high standard. Its a miracle i made it to graduation. I hated school. I hated report card time and I waited until I was 29 yrs old before I went back for a few hours a week at community college.

I was working for the City of Tulsa when I fell off a roof and did a full body slam on the ground. My face bounced off the ground. My most noticeable injuries were my broken hip and elbow. WC dr's didn 't search for any other injuries.

I now work four hours a day, three days a week. I have poor cognitive skills, I have auditory perception deficit. I get exhausted from the four hours a day I work.

I was at a friends grandaughters birthday party last year. the child was trying to get on the concret picnic table bench. She slipped backwards and hit her head. hard. Everyone but Me laughed. It brought tears to my eyes then and again right now. HEAD INJURIES ARENT FUNNY.

Replied By: yesyoucan on Nov 23, 2014, 12:12PM - In reply to bambib8
I have felt as you for many reasons.  Some I can pin point... others I can not.  Even not enough water or if blood sugar too high or thyroid problems can do a number on our body chemistry.  Sodium in ham has me in twilight zone.  Stressful events have me on the edge... (then writing a page of "Fear Not. Have Faith" helps because of word association with our feelings).  Equalizing breathing can help, Dr. Phil and his son, Jay, have said in their books: breathing in and out to exact same count of 3, 5, or 7...  Three the most recent count Dr. Phil gave on his son's show, THE DOCTORS.  Breathe in healing.  breathe out stress calmly breathing in 1,2,3 then out 1,2, 3.  Gently touch tips of fingers each time calmly breathe in and out to count of 3 to ground and reconnect with yourself.  Do five times right now if want to try...

Also, if using heat... carbon monoxide poisoning is a possibility for all of us this time of year... so if when you leave house and get fresh air you feel better... Could be that or just that you need to oxygenate your brain walking which can also raise endorphin level and help you recalibrate thoughts too.  We are all individuals and you just have to keep being proactive, as you were coming here, until you find what works for you.  If this is recent it'd be good to think what has changed in your life recently from diet to habits to even just turning on heat etc.  That said, you could have developed a blood chemistry issue so always good to have blood work physical once in awhile.

Scroll down at first link and begin reading at HOME CARE: 

You may or may not be interested in above link or below number...

Referral to psychologist number Dr. Phil suggests on page 255 of one of his books: 1-800- 964-2000  

Hope you found something helpful in what I said.  If not, "never, never, never give up," until you find what clicks with you as an individual.  SELF MATTERS INCLUDES YOU.
Replied By: dawnmae on Nov 21, 2014, 3:53AM - In reply to frannyfarkle
First I don't have any insurance, and won't for about 3 months. While I think I qualify for medicaid, I applied before I was put on a waiting list.  I'm not good at asking for help, not that I think I don't deserve it but that it never comes. And being away from my cats would just make me worse. When I'm with them I'm happy, peaceful, and content. Away from them I become sad and I suppose guarded would be a good word, never letting anyone see me. Which I do realize that I could also be blocking people from helping me. I think my biggest pet peeve, no pun intended, is that no one seems to be hearing me. I realize that Dr. Phil is a very busy man, but my friend's therapist said that suicide threats can't be ignored. I feel that I am being ignored by someone whose help I am seeking. But thank you for listening and caring.

Replied By: frannyfarkle on Nov 20, 2014, 1:17PM - In reply to dawnmae
While I am no stranger to depression to the point of having suicidal ideation, I do know that one must reach out UNTIL you find that one source of help that you need.  I am surprised that the "hotline" you used was not helpful for you because I've used the National Suicide Hotline and I found them helpful.  Last month they even found it necessary to call an ambulance for me because they knew I was in a life or death situation.  I am sorry about the things that you're going through; depending on your insurance, you CAN present youself to any ER (as I've done a few times) and asked them to keep me until THEY determined  that i was no longer a threat to myself or anyone else.  As for your cats, there maybe be someone in a local animal shelter who may be able ot CARE FOR your the cats while you seek help.

Don't give up, you are stronger than you think you are.
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