Depression and Grief

 

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Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

Click here for General and Mental Health Resources.
Comments
Replied By: twokidsgone on Jan 7, 2017, 9:24AM
This is new for me.  Not that good on computer either.  Just wandering who else has lost children?  I had an only son, died at age 22, in his sleep from heart valve problem that we knew nothing about.  I had come home from work and found him.  He had been dead over 12 hours.  It will be 6 years in February since his passing.......I had an only daughter.  When she was 19 yrs old, her ex-boyfqriend shot her twice, while driving her car, instantly paralyzing her from waist down.  For 11 years, I watched her suffer with constant nerve pain, living in nursing homes.  Finally, her body started shutting down...She died the day after her 30th birthday, 2 yrs ago this past December......Less than six months later, my mom, 89, passed.  Not to mention, my dad passed on the one year anniversary of 911....and my sister died before him as she was sleeping.  They never found anything wrong with her, perfectly healthy 46 year old women, they said.  I've always believed that God doesn't put on you more than he knows you can handle....but my question is:  Have I come close to my limit yet?  I've been told I'm a very strong, determined person.  I am.  I believe it's a choice you have to make.  You can give up and let it take you or you can fight back and decide it can't have you.  I feel I still much more to give to others to give up now.  Don't get me wrong...I have my moments, but I know where they are, I know they are safe, I know they are with me at all times, and I know they will be waiting for me when my time comes....I'm at peace with that.  Maybe in a way, I hope to help someone else cope with their losses.  Let me know what you think?  Thanks for listening!
 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jan 1, 2017, 12:37AM - In reply to necesprinkles
What really resonates with me is the Dr. Phil quote "You are never alone when you are there for you."  

BE THERE 

When you get to the point that you don't want to eat, shower, be around people or face life that's when you need to the most.  You are at the precipice of the abyss of depression.  From personal experience I know there is a point where you still have a smidgen of a choice to not get sucked into depression.  That is by eating, bathing and all the other things you'd leap to do each day if everything was going right.  I have found that when you think things can't get worse that they can when I'm not there for me.  So you simply must be there for you.  Me too.  We too.  Breathing and relaxation exercises (and showers) and keeping healthy habits can ease pain.  

A Social Worker at a hospital might be able to help you maneuver a path to get you the help you need.  Most of us don't go barefoot if we have a hard time finding a pair of shoes that fit.  We just keep looking until we find the right fit.  That you came here means that you are being proactive so keep on keeping on until you find the right fit for you that works at helping you feel better... including you participating by bathing and keeping healthy habits and cherishing the control that you do still have.  Many would love to be able to shower.  Count your blessings.  I don't mean that as an over simplification and instead from my, personally, putting to practice myself so I'm there for me so I at least have one person who always is.  Dr. Phil is so right that "you are never alone if you are there for you."  BE THERE 
 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jan 1, 2017, 12:35AM
YAY! It's 2017. HAPPY NEW YEAR! Remember to leave any regrets behind so that you are fully present in all your todays so that you don't miss a single blessed moment. Praying blessings everyone's ways for a blessed every day in 2017 and always... Amen and Amen... 

THE GIFT OF Y'ALL

Did you know that not only is today a gift since the present

YOU are a gift

Being present


 
Replied By: necesprinkles on Dec 30, 2016, 12:18PM
Hi all! My name is Nece I am 27 with an 80 yr old body. I have been dealing with problems since I was a young girl and it has only gotten worse since my gallbladder was renoved in 2010. I now have health problems so severe that I can no longer work. I tried to get medical help but was refused and I can not afford medical insurance because I can't work. I am trying to stay strong and tell myself that it will all be okay, that if I just go to the hospital every day they will eventually have to help me. TO be honest though I am starting to feel done. I don't want to do anything anymore. Im losing my appetite for food, showers, people, and life its self. I do not want anyone to pitty me I just want some help! I just want to be a normal, working, and healthy 27 yr old! If anyone has any suggestions, anything at all, PLEASE I am begging you to share them!
 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 28, 2016, 4:22PM - In reply to sherriyoung
"One tear, one smile, one day, one moment at a time."  

Something that helps me to not have unwanted memories is to not listen to music from that time period.  Writing a full notepad page of "Fear Not.  Have Faith" and "I'm calm, relaxed, poised and confident."  I title each page I do SELF MATTERS INCLUDES and sign like I'm autographing my life.  Watching Joel Osteen weekly helps me to point my thoughts in a positive direction.  Actually, remembering some of Dr. Phil's quotes help too and I suggested he begin his own line of paper towels w/his sayings.  He didn't yet I think Sparkle and/or Basic paper towels did.  I suggested to them as well.  

Dr. Phil quote, "You are the one who talks to you all day, every day.  Characterize messages you send yourself with a rational, productive optimism.,,, You are never alone if you are there for you."  BE THERE  

THE GIFT OF YOU 

Not only is today a gift since the present 

You are a gift 

Being Present 

A couple of links that Dr. Phil suggests:  


http://www.ptsd.va.gov


https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml 

Above link suggests learning relaxation techniques etc.  Dr. Phil suggests equalizing breathing, breathing in and out to the same count of 3, 5, or 7.  Oxgenating the brain is very therapeutic.  In fact, often during anxiety breathing is too rapid or shallow.  These breathing techniques help me tremendously.  I hope that you find what works for you, too.  We are all individuals so what helps isn't one size fits all.  Exercise helps as well since, too, oxygenates the brain etc.  Even simply walking... is a natural mood elevator.

Be present in the present.  It is the best gift you can give yourself and your family.  You can't change the past yet you can "turn the scars into stars" taking back control of your life with both feet planted in the present.  An old saying, "Today is the first day of the rest of YOUR life."  Kick the ghosts of Christmases past to the curb... YOU have a life to live.  YOURS.


 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 28, 2016, 4:12PM - In reply to nephewgriff
Hi Griff...  

I always thought that I was a thoughtful person yet lately I've seen that I didn't validate and appreciate those I loved enough.  Though, I FINALLY forgive myself... I'm certain hurt their feelings.  I hope that you begin receiving the validation and appreciation that we alll deserve, that you deserve.  I had someone I never expected to be mean to me to be very inconsiderate of me on Christmas.  Sort of blind sighted me.  However, while collecting myself I saw that there were many I was unknowingly incosiderate of not appreciating and validating.  I now fully understand what being thoughtless is... not because of the person thoughtless to me Christmas yet because even before that person thoughtless to me I was having 20/20 hindsight.  I hope that your Uncle Phil wakes up before I did to appreciate and validate you.  Send him a Happy New Year card and say you'd like to hear from him more often.  I wish I'd been told.  In all honesty, I was.  I wish I'd listened.  I hope that your Uncle Phil listens.  I wasn't aware how important it was to others for me to validate and appreciate so sometimes we aren't aware how important our validation and appreciation is to someone else.  A belated MERRY CHRISTMAS and the HAPPIEST OF NEW YEARS...
 
Replied By: nephewgriff on Dec 26, 2016, 9:47PM
I am depressed because I am never thought of at the Hollidays.  Why can't I get a little love.




life sucks..
 
Replied By: sherriyoung on Dec 25, 2016, 8:53PM
My life has spun out of control. I am the product of severe physical, emotional and mental abuse. Of 6 kids my mom had, 3 have died of addictions/ODs, my surviving brother is an a** hole and I don't speak with him. Every woman he has been with he has physically abused, at least.


In the last 2 years, I finally heard from my mom in May of 2015. She wrote me a 6 line note saying that my step-father had died in March. That was it. She participated both actively and passively in the abuse my bi-polar step father inflicted on us kids for almost 50 years. I am now 53.


In June of 2015 my diagnosed as "severely bi-polar" son, 24, attempted suicide and came very close to succeeding. In July I lost my job due to poor performance. Go figure. In August my husband of 18 years died suddenly. 3 days after he died I found out he had been having an affair for 2 years.


I started therapy 6 weeks ago. The State of Utah has determined that I am disabled with severe depression, chornic anxiety and possibly PTSD - I have flashbacks several times a day, panic attacks at least once per day. I have applied for SSI but have not started receiving benefits. My 5 year old grand daughter are getting $393 per month to live on.


The stress, depression, anxiety and the broken state of my family is unbearable. We are in crisis mode at this point. When I tell my grand daughter that her uncle Jaison is coming over or we will be seeing him there is instantly a look of concern because she has witnessed her uncle screaming at grandma or someone several times. It is a minefield talking to him. He will obsess over a singel statement I or someone else makes convincing himself that there is reason to be paranoid and getting angry over something that is minutiea.


My 3 children have not scene each other in over a year. They avoid each other. I have lost so many to death and now my family is lost as a unit.


How do I "get past" all this? My therapist of 6 weeks is trying CBT (Cognitive Behavorial Therapy) to help me, but I resist because I know my brain and memories are an explosion waiting to happen. The flashbacks and nightmares are truly horrible. There were many times that I disassociated during the abuse as a child. CBT does not really address the memories but is focused on the "tape" running in my head. The problem as I see it is that I have so damn many tapes it will take 10 lifetimes to re write them.


I am desperate for my children, my 5 year old (so innocent and sweet) and my family as a unit. It is unbearable.
 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 24, 2016, 6:09PM
My Christmas wish is for everyone who stops by here at the end of their rope to find a reason to live not only during this Holiday season and in all the seasons of their lives.  SELF MATTERS INCLUDES YOU.  Me too.  WE too...
 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Dec 24, 2016, 5:57PM - In reply to tammy416
Thanks for sharing about here.  I think DOCTOR ON DEMAND is a wonderful idea, too, and think so even more than I already did since saved your life.  Have a blessed every day.  I'll post link here in case anyone else pops in who may need.

DOCTOR ON DEMAND

http://www.doctorondemand.com


http://www.doctorondemand.com/team?gclid=CN-Wl-GEjtECFU9cfgodomcCiw 

Dr. Phil and his oldest son, Jay McGraw, are Co-Founders of DOCTOR ON DEMAND and even Sir Richard Branson is an investor.
 
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