Depression and Grief


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Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

Click here for General and Mental Health Resources.
Replied By: wndyeliza on Mar 24, 2017, 1:20PM
hello - 

l don't think l can remember a time when l didn't have dome level of depression in my life.  That includes growing up, young married life, mid-life, and now after having " the pause that refreshes " it is still there.  I know that at least half of this was and is situational in nature, the other half is biochemical.  my inner landscape is grey.  It looks like the ash covered landscape right after Mt. St. Helens blew... all you can see is shapes but no color. No forest, streams, flowers, birds singing, animals grazing, etc.  Grey lumps.  The worst part of depression is that you get comfortable in your grey devastated forest. Soon you feel thats all you deserve or can create in your life.  And heaven forbid you should actually achieve better and it is somehow, someway, removed from your otherwise grey world. It only reinforces that this is what you are and deserve.  But still we go on. Smiles at the ready, doing what we need to do to look " normal" hoping one dy God hears our prayers to lift the fog in our psyche to make the grey colorful.

This is our battle for those of us with chronic depression. I have no answers. I can only trudged
Replied By: jromani on Mar 21, 2017, 9:52AM - In reply to marybb2
I have been diagnosed with bi polar depression, I AM TIRED I WANT TO DIE, I would be out of pain then!
I married my high school sweetheart at the age of 19, he was 20. November 14, 1995 he VERY SUDDENLY PASSES AWAY, he left me with a 3 year old daughter, never had a time to grieve, but just put on so many anti depression meds just left me a zombie to this day! Six months later my brother in law committed suicide as he could not live without his brother, left my sister in law with a 5 year old son.
In 2011 my mother was diagnosed with Altimeters, she dwindled away from 220 to 60 lbs, and died June 15, 2013.
December 18, 2012 my father was diagnosed with Multimyloma ( cancer of the bones), he passed away August 23, 2013.
May 13, 2013 I face planted while taking my father outside where he was in short term rehab, broke my nose, slipped disks in neck C3-C5, injured my Patel tendon in my leg, had trauma in my arm left me with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome.
June 18, 2016 my house burns down.
I am tired, have no will to live, I don't know how it feels to be happy!
Replied By: marybb2 on Mar 10, 2017, 12:38PM - In reply to yesyoucan
Dr on Demand is a joke.  I've tried them several times, never really get connected, and they charge too much for me!  I got online with them, and then no one showed upll but they didn't forget to charge me.
Replied By: marybb2 on Mar 10, 2017, 12:33PM - In reply to littledolphin
However, you do not think that this woman has an addiction she cannot break.  Addiction is a special thing that only 15% ever conquer, and then, that itself is another thing to overcome.  
Replied By: marybb2 on Mar 10, 2017, 12:28PM - In reply to hebrews412
I am also the youngest and now I'm alone because all of my family have died.  So, here;s how I'm like you... no money (my trust fund ran out) and I'm 81.  How am I going to get hired by anyone?  I was a saver, thank heavens, and I had to turn my savings into income producing types of property.  I'm almost through doing it, but I can tell you no one will ever save you but God... and even then he exoects you to find something that will make you  hapoy... even if it's working at Mcy D's.
Replied By: hebrews412 on Mar 9, 2017, 5:25PM
Well i am not a fan of labeling on my name it's not a graceful way of me to say this of me. my Father gave me a name so I would say that drowning is how I feel sometimes but still going with faith to hope.......I am not sure if I need help because I never was to be the one to ask even my brother is a psychologist here in Burleson Texas really doesn't give me advice son Dr.Phil This is why I get so upset to see how all my siblings are well off and me the youngest is not and they don't even call me to see if i am doing ok they don't bother with me mind u my other brother is a minister and the other a fire fighter and my sister the teacher of daycare.......and I'm losing hope because I am a victim of so many mental child issues mom was a narccist my aunt dies of mental problems and my grandmother that is ok with it all is why I cut my self off for my well being......I am an empath and struggle to survive with no family to be of good use my Father live in eagle pass and helps to establish churces and so i am very much alone and I just left an abusive realtinship that was a huge step because I have no job no way to ask for help from my family because they for some reason expect me to get over it andnot speak up what advice can u help me with if any I am very well informed of being able to do on my own but when I am alone to start with any kind of help with no job or even know what to do with this feeling of drowning. I am very active in church but I don't interrupt the faith being taught so I just feel very lost in a sense of what to do next. I sleep well but then I am at my apartment not able to do much but sit and pick my son from school I have no clue why I am so smart but why I feel like I can't do

Replied By: littledolphin on Mar 9, 2017, 3:32PM
Dr. Phil

I would like to comment or answer the womanès question she asked you on your show, she asked what would you do different.

I will give you some information on me, my husband on December 3, 2008, was hit by a car declaired dead then taken to a trama unit, where he under went brain surgery, 5% of life left, we dug our way out where they said he would be luck if he lived, let alone walk again, we were married for 18, years at the time, I can tell you I never turned to a bottle, I turned to the fight. I brought him home 5 months later not likindg the way the hospital was treating him, and that began hours of work 24é7, therapy appointments doctor appointments., I can proudly say I never stopped I got him walking, we made new memories because he had none left, I made him work, until last year he had 2 more life threatening strokes, I still did not turn to a bottle, unlike the woman on your show I have grown children, but they have children also that are our grandchildren the oldest one I face each day turns 9 next week. Everyday my husband spent in the hospital something like her I had to face three of my grandchildren on a daily basis, and lye to there faces when they would ask when there grandfather would come home and had to tell them soon, when in my head I was not certian he would again, but god being on my side he has been home for 0 months we fight every day, to keep him going he will never walk again we will be married 27 years this year, I can not see that she needed to turn to a bottle she has a family there for her, I have my family behind me, his has given up, they are not there. If I could tell that lady one thing is throw away the bottle, that is no help rally the people that are there for her and she will have what she needs, getting st^pidly drunk does nothing but shove them people away, you are going to look up from that bottle may it be a week, month or year down the road, and them people will have given up on you and you will say why, so trust the people who are surrounding you that is what you need.

I add when my husband was first in his accident I was told I was one in a million, that stayed together and after the second I am one in a billion, but when your surrounded by love you can accomplish anything. Adding one more thing, this time around I do not have the threapists, we can not afford them, I do not have nurses comming in on a regular basis, its me and this is my 24 hours a day 7 days a week, I get out, when my son watches his dad and at the most that is a couple hours a week, if any one should turn to a bottle maybe that should be me but I look at it, then what help would I be, to him and how is that going to help me, its not, so just think what could have been, what could be. Oh yea last year we went through emergance brian surgery for the second time and it paralized his left side he is in a wheelchair, he needs to have his food cut up, and handed to him to find it on the plate, he is in breifs and have to be changed because he can not go to the bathroom, he is a shell of a man but my life his life is not in a bottle, they are for me to make our life or live our life the only way we can, and that is at home not going out unless we have a doctors appointment and that is never on my own I need all kinds of help to do that. Just think of who your hurting, besides yourself

Replied By: lindamw77 on Mar 5, 2017, 2:22AM - In reply to yesyoucan
Hi - yes you can...  Thanks for responding....  If you ever hear of a good quote from Dr. Phil  jot it down for me  and  not just a quote..  I'm just wondering knowing and understanding  his quote about not trusting myself..  what the next step is... Dr, on Demand doesn't carry my insurance provider so I can't go there... A shame too. I talked to one counselor and he, I think, is the ONLY ONE that takes me seriously...  I have called suicide hotline a time or two; and I did promise family I would go to the hospital if suicide urge gets extreemly unbearable... in fact if suicide hotline didn't help me  that would of been my next step...  And you and Dr. Phil are right.  Not wanting to live is like wanting to say goodbye to the pain in life.  Pain has always been there and will continue to be a part of life I hate.  Especially emotional pain.  Anyway if you hear of any further tips from Dr. Phil let me know.  Don't know if I ever got a response from him...  Wish I did...  i've sent him countless letters and I also know he's beyound busy helping the United States emotionally confused, ill and stuff  MUCH MORE SERIOUS THAN MINE.  But when I talk about ending my life  I think that's pretty serious too but nobody's paying no mind. Well my folks and daughter do  BUT they get mad at me.  So I can't really talk with them  you know?    Anyway...  thanks for writing back :).
Replied By: yesyoucan on Feb 26, 2017, 9:20PM - In reply to lindamw77
Hi Linda...  That would be a let down to have appointments cancelled.  Have you asked counselor or whoever takes messages for her why appointments being cancelled and/or if you could see someone else until she's back?  That is IF you'd want to see someone else when she's unavailable.  I guess counselor could be having a crisis of her own or have patients w/emergencies requiring her to juggle her schedule.  Sometimes a counselor will begin to have less apointments if believes a client is doing better or feels like isn't helping client.  When talk to her or whoever makes and cancels appointments for her you could express concern for your counselor to see why appointments being cancelled as she could have even had her own personal crisis.  Dr. Phil is a CBT counselor I think.  

Did you see CONTACT DR. PHIL and BE ON THE SHOW in menu box at top of page that you can click on. 

Powerful Dr. Phil quote that you shared:  "Trust is not about the other person. How much you trust someone else is a function of how much you trust yourself and your ability to handle whatever they do.”  I think many suicide prevention sites say, too, "You don't want to die and you just wants the pain to stop..."  Being proactive like you were coming here I think that you will discover/learn positive ways to make the pain stop so that you can and will feel better.  

Many Dr. Phil quotes have helped me too.  One of my faves is "You are never alone if you are there for you."  I always add BE THERE.  I'm a suicide survivor for over 15 years and I refuse to ever let any person, place or thing ever get me that down again (not even myself beating myself up since not perfect or rolling tapes of past pain or mistakes getting drunk on sadness.)  I'm there for me for now and always...  Looks like you are there for you too too since, to me, your coming here means that you are proactive and committed to feeling better.  Keep on being proactive until you find the positive help that helps to make the pain stop.  Here's a couple of help contacts.  You may not need yet I post once in awhile in case someone else pops in who does.  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number 1-800-273-8255  

Dr. Phil also suggests  Sometimes on Twitter @drondemand and maybe on Facebook too if you contact them they will give youa promo code so first visit FREE. Too, there's GENERAL AND MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES that you can click on above that may be helpful.  Finally as says above:  "If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages."

Dr. Phil spoke at Crystal Cathedral once when a group of counselors had finished training to be a New Hope Counselor.  It's not religion specific and is help specific and free.  Some here have said helps to talk to and others have said didn't   Finding the best positive help that works is like looking for a pair of shoes.  We shop around until we find the perfect fit.  Don't settle and, "Never, never, never give up.": for NEW HOPE counselors.
Replied By: lindamw77 on Feb 26, 2017, 12:38AM
My name is Linda... been watching Dr. Phil for a long time...  The best info I recieved from him happened on a show a few weeks ago.   He said somthing to the effect... about Trusting others...  from the episode The girl in the closet -   You can't trust others because You can't trust yourself in how you would REACT to that person - i think...  WOW that was KEY!!! and has opened my eyes in my situation. I cant trust others because I can't trust what I would do,think or feel in response to that person who I'm having a hard time trusting... or anyone for that matter..  Dr.  Phil  what is the key to resolving this problem?  Or if anyone has a heads up on the matter  PLEASE write back...Or if even Dr. Phil, or another theropist wasnts to respond that would be awesome...  I can relate to what she said... she doesn't really want to die but she just wants the pain to stop...  that would be me too.  The pain of life... crazy... It's not much better then Biblical times is it Dr. Phil.  Is that how we're suppose to live on this earth with pain and suffering who wants a part of that?  Ya know what I mean?   I'm confused.   Well I sure could use some help with this.  Please respond  as my theropist isn't dependable to see right now.  She keeps canceling apts.  Not fun if you're trying to get better.
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