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Depression and Grief


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Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

Click here for General and Mental Health Resources.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jul 20, 2014, 11:01AM - In reply to forgottenpixie
So sorry for all you've been through.  You aren't letting your mom down.  Your molester did.  You are in the process of trying to heal being proactive reaching out here.  Guilt trips are expensive trips to go on so unpack your bags.  You have a life to live.  Yours.  Joel Osteen made a good point today.  He said that our minds are like computers and our negative inner dialogue are like viruses.  The anti-virus program is to practice positive thinking one more positive thought at a time reprogramming thoughts to cheer yourself on.  Ironically, in a psychology college course I took WAY back in 1977, text talked about our minds being like computers. 

You could copy what you wrote here to email to Dr. Phil.  Just click Contact Dr. Phil above and Be On The Show.  They might be able to allow you to stay in waiting room and not show your face to help you.  Anxiety is very common and a good subject to touch on because persons shy about going on show need help too and your coming here to share took courage.  So pat yourself on the back.  

Anxiety attacks are brought on because of not enough oxygen to brain due to getting breathing out of sync.  Getting breathing out of sync can be caused by working self up playing reruns of traumatic events or catastophizing even just going to store or not having healty habits of sleep, diet etc.  So learn to immediately begin breathing ...calmly... to count of 3 exactly each way.  To ground yourself gently touch finger tips as you breath in and out ...calmly... to count of three each way until do at least five times.  Try right now.  Works for me and I hope will for you too.  Exercise, like walks, can oxygenate brain so a natural mood elevator.  So often when persons say "feel like wind taken out of their sails" more truth to that saying than realize.  There's a relaxing song Just Breathe... have you heard?

Dr. Phil says "you are never alone if you are there for you."  I always add BE THERE.  You ARE being there for you coming here and that was a big step.  I have something else I'm going to add to this so stop back by if you don't see yet...

"Discover the champion in you" today and get a notebook and title SELF MATTERS INCLUDES ME and sign your name with confidence. Then each DAILY entry of ten entries to cheer yourself on title SELF MATTERS INCLUDES ME and sign your name with confidence then write ten positive things about yourself even if you don't feel that way and things you aspire to be. There is a lot to act as if until you are. Positive thinking isn't learned through osmosis and it takes practice, practice, practice. Begin practicing today! DR. PHIL QUOTE: "You're the one who talks to you, all day, every day. Characterize messages you send yourself by a rational and productive optimism." 

I know you are hurting and not trying to make it sound easy to boot strap it back up from camp despair. It takes concentrated effort at a time you feel zapped of energy. Walk to corner and back and equalize your breaths to count of 3-5-7 each way to same count like Dr. Phil suggests...breathing in healing and exhaling the pain. TOO, thinking Have Faith... as you breathe in and FEAR NOT as you breathe out is calming too, as well.  We all have to learn to have faith in ourselves and takes extra practice when something has shattered our faith, doesn't it?  Joel Osteen helps me...and you have to find what helps you. What would you suggest to your best friend...(?)...then be your best friend...always... Your fellow member, SEA 

1) I am feeling better and better every day. 
2) I will be proactive in my recovery of happiness. 
3) I will have faith in myself. 
4) I will turn negatives into positives. 
5) I will be my best friend. 
6) I am calm, relaxed, poised and confident 
7) I will cheer myself on writing DAILY positive things about myself. 
8) My past is the past and today is today and I have the steering wheel to my future 
9) "Life is not cured it is managed" and it is up to me to manage my life well 
10) Quitters never win and winners never quit so I'll never, never, NEVER give up on me...

 YOU are a winner...  Believing is seeing.  Yell it... Spell it... BELIEVE IT!  SELF MATTERS INCLUDES YOU.
Replied By: forgottenpixie on Jul 19, 2014, 9:58PM
So my name is Jordyn and I have had depression since I was eleven years old.

It started after my father molested me when my mom was in the hospital for the night due to a really bad headache and my father thought it was a good idea to touch me since I was so worried about her. A year later my dad was coming home from Iraq because he was in the army then, I eventually told my mother who reported it to the MPs who said there was no evidence, but my hymen was bruised but they didn't think it was ENOUGH evidence... *insert eye roll* My mom, brother and I moved to Oregon where I got some counciling but it didn't seem to work for me. I had nightmares and even kept a knife in my room as protection for several years but eventually stopped having it in my room since I knew it was pointless to have it.

Because I was molested and mentally abused I always felt like crap about myself all the time and no matter what meds I took they never seemed to work forever. In the last six years or so I have developed anxiety being around people, especally in stores that are crowded and it makes me feel embarrassed about it because of the anxiety and depression I can't work to help my mom and brother AND we need the money badly which makes me feel worse. I started picking at my breats, leaving scars and open wounds on them so now I feel uglier than I did before.

The sad thing is I have no one to talk to about all of this because no one in my family gets it, even my mom. I mean she listens and is really the only one that doesn't judge but I feel bad for putting all of this on her. I wish I had money to go to like the PMP  Center or the other places Dr. Phil talks about but we don't have money for that stuff and I would have anxiety going on his show...

So does anyone have any adivce or something?
Replied By: kashmir66 on Jul 19, 2014, 1:14PM - In reply to yesyoucan
Max is fine, no plans here, just sitting around as usual.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jul 18, 2014, 9:05PM - In reply to kashmir66
How's Max?  

We went to Paris today.  Paris, Texas.  I hadn't been there since my brother managed a shoe store there in his twenties.  Lynn had business there.  Brought back lots of memories.  We took collies, Eddie & Lassie, for a walk when returned.  May mow tomorrow because grass getting SO high after all the rain past two days.  Takes three hours to mow.  Amazingly, only in the 60's.  I think the first time ever in 60's in July in Texas, Lynn said the weather folks said.  About to head off to catch some zzzz's.  Have any weekend plans, Mike?
Replied By: kashmir66 on Jul 18, 2014, 11:20AM - In reply to yesyoucan
The whole things very embarrassing, opening up to her like I did.

Trying not to think about it.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jul 17, 2014, 4:57PM - In reply to kashmir66
Thanks Mike.  Sounds like you were having an axiety attack.  Usually, during an anxiety attack our breathing gets out of sync.  Do you ever do Dr. Phil or his son's breathing exercises?  Helps me A LOT.  I rarely to never have full blown anxiety attacks now.  When one stops by during stressful times... I'm usually able to abort when I breathe in to count of 1, 2, 3 and out to count of 1, 2, 3... as I gently touch my thumb to my fingertips to keep count.  Now, I'm in the habit of doing yet EVERY time when I begin doing breathing execise helps.  Every time.  I use too to relax to go to sleep when I'm keyed up/anxious.

Breathe in and out to same count  each way:  of three up to seven...  

Breathe in 1, 2, 3 

Breathe out 1, 2, 3 

Gently touch your thumb to fingertips as you do so you do at least five times...  

Breathe in 1, 2, 3 

Breathe out 1, 2, 3 

You are breathing in healing forces 

Breathe in 1, 2, 3 

And exhaling stress 

Breathe out 1, 2, 3 

Breathe in 1, 2, 3 

Breathe out 1, 2, 3 

Breathe in 1, 2, 3 

Breathe out 1, 2, 3 

Also, amazingly, it can help to write down an entire sheet of paper.  

Fear not.  Have Faith.  Fear Not.  Have Faith.  Fear Not.  Have Faith.  

Have faith in you Mike...  She does and we do...  Join us... 
Replied By: kashmir66 on Jul 17, 2014, 10:56AM - In reply to yesyoucan
My app was rather different and unexpected.

All the other doctors I have talked to begin arguing with me and talking for me.

She didn't do that, she basically let me talk and ramble on and on.

oddly enough that she agreed that I am probably not fixable and that she wants to help me gather up and learn how to live again and cope with my illness.

I am completely pissed off over this, it's added way too much to think about.

I cant stand it, I cant stop shaking and sweating.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jul 16, 2014, 10:25PM
How'd your appointment with new doctor go today?
Replied By: yesyoucan on Jul 15, 2014, 10:55AM - In reply to kashmir66
WOW!  How time flies.  Hard to believe almost 16th.  I, too, hope she's dedicated and good.  

I've had a few Dr. Phil dreams.  LOL!  He should do a show about.  Mine was I was at computer much like right now.  Dr. Phil grabbed me by back of collar & wheeled me out from computer demanding to know where my York Peppermint patty stash was.  Someone here had emailed Dr. Phil that I was self medicating on York Peppermint patties using as an anti-depressant and not fully committed to his Ultimate Weight Challenge.  Then, Dr. Phil kicked my sack of York Peppermint candies to curb like a football.  I'm still traumatized by dream so pardon flash back.  Hope Dr. Phil emails you.  You know, that'd be a fun show as I imagine lots of fans have had Dr. Phil dreams.  Although, Dr. Phil actually emailing any of us may only be in our dreams.  Or, at least, mine since 2003.  However, he did tweet me in 2009, thanking me for my help online and here etc.  

So, Mike, what have you been up to since the last time you popped in?  I'm trying to get organized.  Oh, and trying to eat healthier and exercise more "one day at a time."  Adding commitment.  When I took Dr. Phil's Ultimate Weight Challenge test it said I lacked commitment.  I do have a habit of commiting myself to the wrong things like keeping York Peppermint patty company in business partaking thereof.
Replied By: kashmir66 on Jul 13, 2014, 11:22PM - In reply to yesyoucan
just wanted to say hi.

Lol I had a dream recently that Dr Phil was visiting a neighbor and I gave him my email and asked him to contact me if he ever got the time to.

I do have an app on the 16th for a new doc, hope she is ok, this will make number 4.

I have never met one that could even remember who I was, let alone offer a real ear,

The last guy I seen for almost 3 months, he had no clue what meds I was on, or a thing about me, it was quite frustrating spending 1/2 hr catching up on who I was and then spending the rest of the time listening to him try to tell me that everything will work out.
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