Depression and Grief


This content requires the Adobe Flash Player and a browser with JavaScript enabled. Please install the latest version of the Adobe Flash Player.

Get Adobe Flash Player

Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

Click here for General and Mental Health Resources.
Replied By: nightlady on Aug 21, 2016, 1:37AM - In reply to lwalla31
I didn't understand all you were trying to say but there are people that care.  Sometimes people just don't know how to help someone.  I understand about insurance and not having the money to buy it and it not being the right time and all that.  Those of us that have limited incomes all face those same problems.  I'm really sorry you are having all these difficulties and health problems.  If no one else cares, God does.  It might not feel like it, but he does and I care.  We live in a time when our government seems to fail us at every turn, but we have to hold on to hope.  I will pray that you get insurance and find the answer to your health issues. All you can do is do the best you can until things start happening for you.  Don't give up, don't lose hope.
Replied By: lwalla31 on Aug 19, 2016, 5:55PM

        Hope this letter find you well.  I'm have some problems with a broken bone in my neck with my c7,my c3, c4 and off of the tip of my spinal cord.  I fell off of a rope at my grand fathers house and landed on my face, well I hit the ground so hard my head came back and broke my vertebrates and the talk about fractures from doctors.  I was around ten years old and every since, I have suffered from headacks with out knowing the problems at hand.  My mother took me as a child growing up to find out the reasons for the headacks everyday, but to resolves.  As I got older my problems got worse.  I'm 37 years old and done around 5 years in college and had to take a medical leave because I could not find a doctor that would take care of me while I was working on my master's at UNCC 49ers in charlotte NC.  This has taken a lot of my life away and I no God thru Christ heals but they also want to see you all and other Country's and Continent's doing there job as well.  I do have a issue because when I had insurance but they still acked like just passing me around to doctors to doctors with no idea on what to do.  Well finally when my insurance drop, (blue cross etc.) I didn't have the money to get it started back right then so I had to wait.  But then as the time passed along, I got the money to get insurance, I couldn't because how things are set up.  The enrollment date was the issue. So once again no insurance and no help. Thru Obama care, blue cross, cigma, and I meen nothing.  I value a education and meen well but have life treating problems and need some help, wondering if anyone really cares at all.  Besides money and greed, and only what they want out of life.  So I'm reaching out with a caring heart to see if anyone really cares, which it seems I already have my answers.  Hopeing you all would prove me wrong.  You sir with the meens you have why would you not go out with a bang in your presidentry and so the world a caring heart.  Come get me and help me get fixed so I can go back to school and finish my life. And run for prime mister in Israel  where my true home is in this world. So I no what a real life is like with out pain and mirser.  Thanks again
                                         Lewis Adam Wallace Jr  

          So the world how people really works.
Replied By: nightlady on Aug 16, 2016, 10:44AM - In reply to yesyoucan
I was very worried about you.  Hadn't seen anything from you in awhile.  Sorry to hear about all the troubles.  Hope things start getting better for you soon.  Hang in there!!  I have my okay days and my bad days but have to hang in there for my mom, who will be 87 next month.  I am planning to take her back to the town we lived in four years ago, for a visit, later this month for a few days.  Then in September for her birthday a girlfriend and I are taking her to Disneyland one last time.  We took her 3 years ago and she said she wanted to go one more time, so that's what were going to do.  I've been having a lot of trouble with my hip and I'm just hoping I can handle all the walking and standing.  Getting old is not for the faint of heart that's for sure.  Have a good day and I'll chat again soon.
Replied By: yesyoucan on Aug 16, 2016, 8:04AM - In reply to lindamw77
Rudy is so right about breathing relaxation tips, walks etc..  Often panic attacks occur because when anxious or depressed our breathing can become shallow.  

Some links Dr. Phil suggests:  

suicide prevention 800 273 TALK 1 800 273 8255

Things that have helped me are 1) Brachs little real peppermint candies with real peppermint oil.  Peppermint can have a relaxing effect.  

2) Writing Fear Not. Have Faith...  over and over if extremely stressed by a particular unexpected event. Example:  Write Fear Not.  Have Faith... across each line and/or down entire sheet of notebook paper.

3) Learned to equalize breathing reading Dr. Phil's son, Jay's, book with a teen here that wanted someone to read his books with her.  Then, Dr. Phil did a mini breathing exercise version on The Doctors.  Oh, also, there is Doctor On Demand to visit with a doctor online that Jay and Dr. Phil began.

Breathing exercises of Dr. Phil and Jay.  All three suggested breathing in and out each way to same count whether to count of 7 each way (Dr. Phil's original), to count of 5 each way (in Jay's book he learned in Martial Arts) or to the count of 3 each way mini version Dr. Phil shared on The Doctors TV show.  

If in public I do the mini version.  At home I most often do to the count of five each way.  As lightly touch finger tips: calmly keep count breathing in to the count of five, then exhaling to the count of five.  Do five times each time touching next finger till you do five times.  

Once when very stressed during an unexpected distressing event:  I substituted Have faith as breathed in and Fear Not as breathed out.  The connotative meanings of these two mini phrases have a calming effect for me.  I hope you find what helps you.  

4) Keeping healthy habits of sleep, diet, fluids, rest and activity usually helps us all to feel healthy.  Life is mostly habit.  Sleeping so much you likely have a lot of pent up energy that walking might be a good release for if your doctor thinks okay for you to walk.  In fact, Cooper Institute discovered walking worked well since walking a natural mood elevator since oxygenates the brain.  Breathe... calmly...  Hope you are feeling better.

Replied By: yesyoucan on Aug 16, 2016, 7:42AM - In reply to rudy03
Glad you, lindamw77 and nightlady were here for each other.  Love the purple heart.  How'd you do that?
Replied By: yesyoucan on Aug 16, 2016, 6:58AM - In reply to nightlady
I checked back a couple of days after my last reply then several mishaps on the farm had me more than a bit down.  Situational.  Lynn loves the farm.  I don't.  After he killed water moccasin 15 feet from my bedroom door.  Well, didn't go outside unless he was with me since he sees better.  Then, plumbing messed up here so we are both bathing outside.  Lynn was like, "No problem... I know how to make an outdoor shower from when in Viet Nam."  Is rather liberating just so UPS man doesn't pull up yet in many aspects... beyond depressing.  You know how we ladies love a nice tub and shower. Likely, will take a HUGE lose when sell IF farm will even sell...  I'm blessed even so yet a lot easier to count blessings when all your ducks are in a row.  

Me too as per sleep.  Screaming snake nightmares first few months here after seeing FOUR poisonous snakes by house first week.  Owners said they'd never seen any snakes by house only to learn lady here had called a neighbor while her husband gone since huge snake by porch by bedroom door.  Her husband was making crosses he sells at flea markets in shop when we came to look at house so we trusted person to be honest since making religious crosses.  No.  Lied on disclosures no termites only to learn are.  Inspector crooked...  Got lawyer to sue yet Lynn so overwhelmed since we'd already sold our house and so hard to move here didn't want to.  However, lawyer said common for city folk to be taken advantage of by local folks.  

Lynn is a Special Forces Green Beret Medic Veteran with one silver and two bronze stars and I'm heartsick more for him since his dream since Vietnam of owning farm became a nightmare.  He said we are moving next year.  So stressful being out here will be doing like Dr. Phil suggests when moving taking as little as possible.  So whoever gets farm in some aspects will be set with furnished home, tractor, shop full of tools etc.  Plus, we put a new metal roof on and chain link fence around back and barbed wire fence so can have horses etc. and have two.  Beautiful just even Lynn is seeing quite an undertaking even if everything goes right to decide to move to country when senior citizens.

Like today.  Need to bathe before going to town.  Lassie got me up at 4 a.m. to go outside and I couldn't go back to sleep.  Waited till 6 a.m. to get up to not wake Lynn who is so blessed to go to sleep when his head hits the pillow and sleep sometimes till 9 a.m.  I have to stay up to be sure Lassie and Eddie come back in since a neighbor had a dog killed by a bobcat.  Constantly looking over shoulder bathing outside to see if a snake decides wants a bath too like any of the relatives of cotton mouth Lynn shot.  Lassie needs to go out again...  BRB  

Birds:  Thanks for sharing your bird knowledge.  Much appreciated.  There's a wild bird out here that has a two part whistle.  One long whistle followed by a very short whistle.  Sometimes I'll do first part and he'll do last part.  Others he does first part and I do last part.  Wonder if as fun for the little bird as it is for me...   I loved my little canaries yet unaware only males sing so my two females, Vega and Deneb, didn't.   My zebra finch, Arctu, was like a miniature rooster with his cadence when the sun rose.  Toot, toot, toot... toot tootle la toot... toot tootle la toot.  I do love the front room here that I am in now.  Noticed you'd been feeling down and hope you are feeling better.  

I'm the same as you with rest.  I can get so sleepy just curl up in chair yet if I go to bed... wake up in route and toss and turn and turn and toss.  Partly, since I went from a queen size to a full size bed and on antique frame.  Bed so high, now, need a step stool to get off and on.  I am concerned I'll roll off bed or trip making a pit stop during the night.  Lots of things you think you always wanted, like Antique poster bed, once have discover, "Well maybe not after all."  LOL.  Rolled off a top bunk in  basement of a cousin of mother's once and landed on washer then rolled off onto a heap of clothes.  Bunk beds in basement and we'd gone over during tornado alert.  Thought so cool to be on top bunk until rolled off.  LOL  I guess I have bed PTSD.  We never used to vacation so lets just say we are on year three of an extended Dude Ranch vacation.  Lynn is happy as a lark since he's a dude.  :)
Replied By: lindamw77 on Aug 6, 2016, 8:44PM - In reply to rudy03
Rudy, thanks for the suggestions.  I found MoodGYM online and going through that course.  It's teaching me  about cognative thinking. I heard that works.  Yeah I know i need a theropist but no luck with getting one  :( so I'm trying this MoodGYM and call crises line if I get really bad.  I really thank you Rudy for texting me here.  It helps me know I'm not alone and someone cares and identifys.  Yeah I take depression med.  I also have ocd but can't take meds cause they cause me to sleep more then I do now so dr. said no to that.  I can sleep 12 - 15 hrs a day just to avoid life.  i guess thats my drug.. sleep.  If I'm sleeping I don't have to deal with anybody or anything. I'm in a catch 20/20. I can be "normal" sometimes, and not normal at the other times.  That's when I sleep.     lindamw77
Replied By: rudy03 on Aug 6, 2016, 1:20AM - In reply to lindamw77
I feel your pain! I'm guessing you're on medication? You need to find a therapist you can connect with. Calling a support line might help you until it passes. Has anyone told you: Remember to breath, stay away from caffeine, get fresh air and walk some. Talk to your panic attack camly and say " ok, move along!" sing a song you like or think of a funny memorie. A hospital is not the answere unless you're going to hurt yourself. It won't be easy at all but you need to get to the root of this. Please let me know if I can help. I'm no Dr. but as you, I've been through hell and back. Stay strong your never alone. 💜
Replied By: lindamw77 on Aug 5, 2016, 9:02PM
Where do I call if I have panic attacks i have a hard time controlling.  Will the hospital take me if I'm NOT SUICIDAL or do I have to be sucidal BEFORE they take me.  Can I call crisis line if I'm in a panic attack?

Replied By: nightlady on Aug 5, 2016, 5:31PM - In reply to lindamw77
Thank you for your return post.  Yes, it's nice to know there are other people out there that feel the same way as you do.  Times are hard and sometimes I feel so lonely and overwhelmed.  I guess there are a lot of us that feel that way.  I hope you are having a good day today and we chat again.
Showing 1-10 of total 7613 Comments