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Depression and Grief

 

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Are you overwhelmed with dark feelings of despair? Have you suffered a loss and are having a difficult time coping? If you or someone you love is suffering from depression or is grief-stricken, you know it can be a struggle, but you don’t need to suffer in silence. Share your story here.

If you need immediate assistance, please call your local emergency number or crisis hotline listed in your local phone book's government pages.

Click here for General and Mental Health Resources.
Comments
Replied By: annie0109 on Oct 29, 2014, 10:23PM
My life has been a great ride. That being said I have an issue I have never seen advise for. I have been married for 33 years. We have 4 adult children and 4 grandchildren. All and all we have had a pretty good marriage.


4 years ago my husband was diagnosed with Atypical Parkinson's Plus with dystonia. For the first year things were not to bad. Then he was unable to work and everything has snowballed since. Of course with Parkinsons he has the mood swings and memory loss. Lately he has really been scaring me. My kids do not see it because they do not want to. He is parinoid and accusing. One night he was walking around outside the house with a pistle in one hand and a flashlight in the other. The next night he was checking on me every 20 minutes or so to make sure I was not sneaking out ( we do have different bed rooms due to sleeping habits) Usually the problems start about 3am and can go all night. He keeps all the money from me and says it is his. I have to beg for anything even food money. I get disability and it is not much. Now he is telling me how I have to spend it and keeps track of it.


I am on disability for depression and Fibromialgia and major migrains. I feel like I am falling apart.


I know I have already "checked out" of the marriage. I am being emotionally beaten down not only by my husband but also by people who think I should give up my life and dreams. I need to get out before he either kills me or I go insane.


How do I make the break without feeling like a terrible person, and get some happiness in my life again.

 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Oct 29, 2014, 4:55PM
Tomorrow is the day that the show of Dr. Phil's son, Jay, THE DOCTORS announce how to win their healthy house.  If don't watch THE DOCTORS it is like having an hour with best of the best doctors.  Not sure about y'all yet don't think I'd ever had an hour with a doctor before Dr.Phil and Dr. Oz EVER and THE DOCTORS often has more than four doctors on show.  Plus, you know THE DOCTORS has to be good since Dr. Phil is one of producers on his son, Jay's, show THE DOCTORS.


Lots of valuable information on THE DOCTORS who have more than four doctors contributing to their show.  I've learned lots of healthy advice from totally going off sugar in my coffee to honey like Dr. Travis.  Use plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream like Dr. Jim.  Dr. Ordon taught me how healthy beets are even for emotional wellbeing.  Well, too much to list in my long list of helpful tips I've learned.  Even regained eyesight back lost due to adverse reaction to a medication by eating sweet potatoes DAILY since learned on THE DOCTORS better for your eyes than carrots.  I didnt know if would help that much yet, amazing grace, did.  


Plus, OMG, if that wasn't spectacular enough... learn how to win a house on THE DOCTORS tomorrow.  Lots here already watch so be sure and watch tomorrow for details.  Have a Happy and Safe Halloween.  Texas Sized Healing Prayers to all.  Your fellow member, SEA
 
Replied By: stella213 on Oct 29, 2014, 9:50AM - In reply to airfobrat
Hello, 


I suffer with depression also, and I do believe I am bipolar. Having these challanges in our lives makes everyday living so much harder. 


I know you don't want to hear this, but in my opinion, and I express strongly that this is just an opinion, if your husband hit you once or twice and got away with it, it will surely happen again. I also was once in an abusive relationship, and I didn't want to leave him, I know it was only because I didn't think enough of myself to leave him. I didn't want to be alone, and I didn't think I would get any better. But, because I had a daughter to a previous boyfriend, I left. I had to put her ahead of myself.


There are times when I know my kids are the only reason I am alive today. I don't care how depressed I get, I will not ever leave my kids behind, unless God desides it's my time.


I was also bullied my 6th grade year in school. It honestly scars you forever. Those type of kids take something away from you that it seems you can't ever get back and it's called self worth. After so much bullying, you begin to believe what they say is true.



You can over come everything that you face. It's not easy and it never will be, but you can do it. We are strong because of everything we suffer from, depression, bipolar, bullying, it don't matter what it is, it WILL make us stronger in the end.


I don't know you, but I know how you feel and my advice to you is to get help ASAP and tell yourself everyday you are strong and beautiful from the inside out. Even if you don't believe it, as I said, after a while of hearing it, you'll begin to believe it. Compliments are always harder to believe then put downs for some reason, but don't EVER stop telling yourself.


You can accomplish ANYTHING you put your mind to!




With love and respect,

my prayers are with you,


Stella
 
Replied By: airfobrat on Oct 28, 2014, 4:40PM
I am 27 year old female, married, with 1 child from before I was married.

I suffer daily. I fight for my life on a daily basis, and I'm tired of it. 


I have PTSD, with depression, severe anxiety, and DID. One of my personalities is extremely angry, and constantly wants to harm me. 


My PTSD is due to 2 rapes and childhood bullying. My first rape was full-blown rape. My second rape was oral rape while tied down to a bed. The bullying started in elementary school, and then again happened during my senior year of high school. 


I am just tired of fighting and struggling. I'm tired of fighting for control of my life. My husband doens't help the situation at all. He is very controlling of me. His emotional abuse finally stopped just a month or 2 ago. He has struck me before. He slapped me in the face, and he has thrown my phone at my chest. Both of them were caused my actions caused by my DID that I had no control over. Yet I'm punished for it.


I'm reaching out for help and support. Please...
 
Replied By: bychancethomas on Oct 28, 2014, 12:34AM - In reply to hurtgirl11
The fact that you see all this and don't want that for yourself is huge.  Good for you and making a conscious choice to love yourself and those around you.  Love is not hurtful, although, there are times we do hurt others without meaning to.

I gave you my email and the link to my blog.  Keep your chin up and open your arms to all that's in front of you.  Life is full of choices it's up to us to try and make the right ones.  Just know that it's okay to make mistakes along the way.  Forgive yourself if you make them.

Chance

 
Replied By: bychancethomas on Oct 28, 2014, 12:27AM - In reply to hurtgirl11
I will listen and offer advice any time you want it.  I have made many mistakes in my life, and I have learned from them.  I know each of us is unique and worthy of both giving and receiving love. 

You can also talk to me on my blog

https://plus.google.com/u/0/100334062724420786456/posts/p/pub

My email address is bychancethomas@gmail.com
 
Replied By: hurtgirl11 on Oct 27, 2014, 8:33PM - In reply to bychancethomas
Hi im just looking for friends here on the dr phil site. I have no one close to talk to and I thought I would start of here slowly with people who can relate in issues such as depression, addiction, turmoil, and chaos. I am a 21 year old girl and I would love to find connect with people that may be able to support and give me advice on how to better my life and future.
 
Replied By: hurtgirl11 on Oct 27, 2014, 8:24PM
I am 21 and all my life there has been verbal and physical abuse in my family. Its just something I have always seen and to me and my grandparents its just a normal thing we expect to happen especially when my mom is a part of any conversation or put in the same room as us. And now that my mom lost her house some months ago and after living in a storage shed for weeks and eventually being kicked out of the storage shed by the police. She is staying with us in a small 2 room house. We had offered that from day 1 when she lost the house but she refused the offers knowing that it was going to be hard to get her fix and visit all her drug buddies. I don't want to put this all on her because I have contributed to a lot of the chaos, name calling, and fighting but I have so much anger and disgust with her its hard to see things differently sometimes.And now that she is living in the same house as all of us it is getting to a life threatening point. ( the turmoil, name calling, screaming, hitting, throwing tantrums, throwing items,and overall complete chaos) My worst fear is that one I am going to end up just like her and two that because of all of the abuse , yelling, fighting, chaos, and drama my grandma who is 70 years old and my grandpa who is 72 years old are going to die as a result of this Turmoil. I can really only speak for myself but I know that we are barley hanging on anymore and if God forbid something were to happen to either of my grandparents because of this toxic environment we are in before I am able to get help at least for myself but hopefully for everyone involved and find some peace, the peace that they deserve I could never forgive myself. Recently I have watched two of your new episodes titled Family on Fire Caught on Tape and My Son is a Wild Animal. I specifically mention these two because this is what my family looks like if not even more severe in some areas.     When I was 18 months old my mom and I got in a severe car accident going down the highway. I was in the back seat trying to get out of my car seat so she took her eyes off the road for one second to get me back in and the next thing we knew was that car hitting a curb and flying through the air doing 3 summersaults. I only had a small bump on my head, barley hurt, but my mom wasn't as lucky. She broke her neck and for 3 months she was paralyzed from the neck down. She was never suppose to walk again but she did and she is. In Medical terms an incomplete quadriplegic is what they call her. She has a severe dragging foot limp and other obvious issues that come along with a spinal cord injury, but still a miracle. But now she had this false justification of using drugs and doing them way heavier than before. She says, and I quote: " I deserve these drugs for what I've been put through... God at least owes me that." That's all I've ever known. I have never seen my mom sober except for those 2 short years she was gone.          My mom went to prison for 2 years around the age of 10 for selling drugs to an undercover cop.  I was given over to my grandparents for that time as full custody but even before she went away they were still my main caregivers because all my moms money would go towards drugs and she would be gone weeks at a time not letting anyone know  where she was.By that time I was not scared of my only parent going to jail because at that age I understood. I understood too much for a little 10 year old girl to know because she put me in those adult situations by bringing me to drug houses and putting my life in danger and witnessing things I should not have. So no, I was not scared. I was relieved. I thought 2 years and I will finally get to meet my real mom. the mom that has always been there but now removing the mask of addiction. I was excited for that day and I definitely was getting my hopes up and apparently expecting too much....     When my mom got out of prison after a 2 year she ripped me away from the only stable thing I had in my life which were my grandparents. it is my personally believe a lot of this turmoil stems from the amazing relationship I had with my grandparents. She was consumed with jealousy that I had the sort of relationship any parent would want with a child but that my parent was truly , as harsh as it may sound, Then she would use me as a pawn trying to win this " game " on who could hurt who the most and who was in control.  I have been recording hundreds of videos for the past couple months to finally have the truth in my pocket for multiple reasons but the main one is trying to have someone believe me and not think I'm making this stuff up or think I'm exaggerating and blowing things out of proportion. ( As a teen the cops were called several times and she would make false allegations of assaulting her and other things like that. It was so frustrating because she can manipulate anyone at anytime. No one believed me, except for my grandparents, and having to witness this evil abusive human being do some unthinkable , mostly verbal but sometimes physical , things one minute and the next minute when the cops came in she played the role of a single mother doing her best and just a mom who wanted the best for her daughter. There were times when the cops were over where the minute they turned their back she would mock me crying or have this vicious grin on her face.  I have so mu Most of the videos I take I just save and have never looked at them or them because I am so depressed and mad as it is I can barley stand it. But if this is what it takes to find help then its worth it. Im done sitting here in silence watching myself turn into a monster and watching all of us tear eachother down until one of is hurt beyond repair. My Grandparents don't deserve this. They have raised me all my life and are the most amazing people in the world. The chaos my mom and I both have planted in their life is disgusting. Im sick of the screaming and violence. Im sick of the name calling and drug abuse. Im sick of the overwhelming guilt I fill and the hatred I have towards my mom. I want to change and I know I play a big part in this mess I just hope my entire family (  mostly my mom ) wants help as well. I know people aren't born evil and I want to get back to the core of who I am and who my mom is. Dr. Phil PLEASE I AM BEGGING TO YOU PLEASE HELP US , HELP ME , BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENDS THAT CANT BE UNDONE. PLEASE GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO TALK WITH YOU OR A PRODUCER AND EXPLAIN IN MUCH MORE DETAIL. WATCH THIS DARK VIDEOS THAT I REFER TO AS " EVIL SECRET FAMILY VIDEOS". I PROMISE YOU IF YOU GIVE ME THAT CHANCE... WATCH THE VIDEOS... YOU WILL SEE HOW DESPERATE WE NEED HELP!     - Please help, , a 21 year old caught in chaos
 
Replied By: yesyoucan on Oct 27, 2014, 5:03PM - In reply to bebe4_6
Looks like you need to stick around for those two sweet pets of yours.  When I used to work at a non-profit homeless pet shelter... it was so sad to see persons bringing a pet in who adored them.  Pets had no idea being left.  One lady brought in beautiful Shelite that she had groomed before bringing who's name was Scotty.  Shelter manager said would be sure got to be an indoor dog and instead gave to some friends of her who planned to keep that beautiful dog outside.  I quit not long after that.  Tried to talk owner into keeping Scotty because obvious she was going to regret and I could tell her dog adored her.  

There are places you can place ads for free and sometimes someone will connect with someone else's pet like we did to our two collies and one collie mix we adopted when all 3 years old.  Sometimes seniors like to adopt older pets.  Nonetheless, breaks my heart how sad you are and will be if give away your pets and they will be if lose you.  So try to hold on and get better.  i'll be going on a walk soon with my husband and two collies.  Thank goodness even though sort of have had the duldrums since moving to the country... I force myself to go on and go because I always enjoy walk if do.  

I hope that you begin feeling better so you can take your little dog for a walk even if just to curb and back. The fresh air would likely do you both good.  I know the perils of no insurance when my husband laid off and it is true uninsured discriminated against.  Ironically, the hospital in news Presby Dallas accused of turning away Ebola patient since uninusred first visit.  A doctor there cancelled my appointment when i arrived in 2002 "since uninsured."  That doctor said he didn't want to take my money too since knew didn't want me as a patient since uninsured.  He said doctors refer to dump which is often what ERs do to uninsured telling uninsured to follow up with primary care when obviously if uninsured doesn't have one.

Recently, at dentist the assitant put impression in dirty sink on drain.  I said, "That's not the one you are going to use right?"  Felt certain she'd say wasn't.  I needed to spit and no sink by chair.  She said she did plan to use it yet wasn't going to hurt to be there and to go on and spit in same sink.  I reluctantly spit and thought well maybe she was just joking yet not funny.  i questioned again when she WAS going to put back in my mouth after sat on top of sink drain at least ten minutes.  

I told her I didn't think a good idea to set my impression for temporary crown on drain since likely germs.  Asked if they cleaned sink washed hands in after every patient.  She said, "Yes we wash it out each patient." Then she said, "actually, I dropped it in there but it's okay. I rinsed off."  Not long after left dentist had horrible stomach cramps and worse and one of sickest I've been to stomach ever... only just now feeling better three days later.  I still have to go back to get permanent crown.  This all cost $900 and I was done that way.  For another thing done to uninsured is to be insenitive too.  Not only was that insensitive it was unsterile.  Service was very good until I was at midway point of no return needing a temporary crown and to return for permanent.  

Depressing yet I refuse to allow to get me so depressed I give up.  I did get depressed about when feeling so bad.  One thing for sure one of the worst dental experiences I've ever had.  Last four dental trips without insurance so stressful.  Whereas I used to love to go to dentist to keep my teeth healthy I hope I never have to go again.  


I'd love to try that hormone patch Dr. Oz talked about IF knew a doctor who liked uninsured or would help me navigate Obamacare since official navigator couldn't.  The plus of not having insurance... there's been a lot of things I've thought might improve my life popular in medicine recalled so, oh well, maybe I'm blessed after all without insurance.  That's "sweet lemon" philosophy.  Still sort of would like a medical, dental and visual makeover by THE DOCTORS since THE DOCTORS treat persons with dignity.  Yet, like you, I know all too well what it feels like to be treated like the gum on the bottom of the medical professions' shoes.  Still peeling myself off the bottom of dental assisant's from dental visit Friday. 

Some good news though.  THE DOCTORS TV show of Dr. Phil's son, Jay, are giving away a house and information will be on THE DOCTORS on TV Thursday, October 30th, I believe.  If don't watch already... Google to see what channel on in your area.  Comes on at 11 a.m. in DFW area.  They do help persons and so does Dr. Phil so contact them and, even if not helped like I've never been since first asking in 2003 on, "never, never, never give up."  SELF MATTERS INCLUDES YOU.  Yell it.  Spell it.  BELIEVE IT.  Me too.  WE too.
 
Replied By: bebe4_6 on Oct 27, 2014, 1:37PM
Something is wrong with my physically but doctors don't seem to care.  I'm not young enough, pretty enough, thin enough or insured enough to matter and I can't go on like this.  I have slowly become so weak I can barely get out of bed.  And, yes, it has lead to loss of hope and depression.  I love my pets with all my heart and they deserve a wonderful, loving home.  I have a cat and a small dog.  They are in the twilight of their lives.  I have no one.  They have been my life.  I'd appreciate with all my heart help in finding them a forever home with someone who will love them in their last years.  I would love to stay with them but I cannot.  Thank you.
 
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