In August of last year, when I was 23, my mother died very suddenly from a brain haemmorage. It was very unexpected and shocking as she was one of the healthiest people I know. It was just me and her at home when it happened - my dad was at work and my sister was out. I keep reliving those last moments and thinking that I should have done more. I called my dad before I called the ambulance and I keep thinking maybe if I had called the ambulance sooner I could have saved her even though I've been told there was nothing anyone could have done - not even if it had happened in a hospital. I can accept that theoretically but I'm struggling to put it into practice. At the time, I was working to complete my Masters degree at University and when it happened, I was just finishing up the first chapter of my thesis - which I was so excited to share with her - she was the person who always encouraged me in my studies and she read every single draft of everything I wrote. But when she knocked on my door to tell me she had a headache, I snapped at her because I was trying to concentrate and those were the last words I spoke to her. I relive it everyday - and I hate myself for it. I have been trying to finish my thesis for her but I have been struggling because I wish I'd never started it because then I never would have snapped at her. My dad and sister have been able to move on but I feel like I'm stuck - I can't let it go. I was very close to my mum and all I have are regrets. I don't know how to move on and sometimes I'm so weighted-down by guilt that I feel like I shouldn't - like I don't deserve to. I miss her every single minute. I'm exhausted from constantly trying to fight this grief and I feel like I just don't know where to start - I'm totally overwhelmed.

Has anyone gone through something similar who can help me? Or who has some advice?

Hi, I read your post and it sounded familiar to me. Many years ago my sister had a relationship with a young man. They were only 16 at the time, and they were in love. Her boyfriend asked me if I could go shopping with him because he wanted to buy her a promise ring. We got the ring and the next day expecting my sister  be over the moon, instead she was crying and said that he broke up with her!!!  Many years later we found out that he was a mormon and I guess he told his family about the promise ring and because she was not a mormon he had to break it up with her!!

I do not know if this could be a possibility for him or not. Either way, like you said he is an adult and if he is led by the nose by his parents now, imagine what it is going to be like in a few years. May be you are better off without him.

Welcome to the boards! Losing a loved one is extremely hard, that goes without saying. However as long as they remain in our hearts they truly are not gone. Where ever we go they go also. They do not disappear from our memories just because we move away. My father passed away on Dec. 2,1997, my mother on Dec. 31,2007. After mom's death we heirs lost the family home due to her will. I was living there and it was in our family for 50 years.Every single one of my memories of them was in that house which is the only home I've ever known. I now have my own house (notice I didn't say home) that will never truly be mine. There are Black eyed susans growing along the side of it along with some purple Iris! My father use to call the black eyed Susans "daisies" and they were his favorite! Mom loved the purple Iris! I also have some of the yellow "flags" growing in the front of my house that were from the back yard of the other house! Yes, I'm still very sad about losing the family home and leaving the old neighborhood but the memories of all those years are still with me both the good and the bad. From bringing my newborn son home from the hospital which was the happiest day to the day my mother's attorney called to say I had one week to vacate which was the worst day! Guess what I'm trying to say is that the memories of your husband come from the LOVE you have for him and not the places you have lived or been to with him. Does that make any kind of sense? If not let me know and I will try again!

Yesterday my boyfriend called up and said his parents don't approve of our relationship. He has always been extremely close with his parents and family which attracted me to him. He said he respects what his family says and feel it wouldn't work out between us any longer because of them. He said he fought with them to tell them our relationship is what he wants and that he is happier than ever. I asked if him and I could remain friends because we made great friends before we started dating. He said no it would be to painful.it hurts knowing you spent all your time with this person you deeply cared about and they can just leave as ifbit was nothing. I respect he listens to his family but he is a grown adult. My hearts just hurting a lot rightof confusion saddness and anger.

It's been 5 mos since my beloved husband John has passed away and I'm at a loss as to what to do.  I feel empty and sad all the time and wish I was with him.  My son has also passed and I miss him too now it's so lonely here in the house.  I want to move on but can't seem to get a grip on it.  If I want to move away I feel it's bad because all my memories of my husband are here in this house and how could I possibly want to leave them.  Is it wrong to want to move away now?  I will be visiting the grave this weekend in CA he's so far away from me but it's his birthday next week and I must put flowers on his grave for that.  The house is half assed packed for a move but I don't think I can go much farther.  I miss him so much and want to be with him but I know logically I can't.  Stuck in Pahrump.

I may not be a doctor but I have been on some of the meds you have mentioned and know their side effects very well. Yes Ativan also known by it's generic name Lorazapam do a very good job at calming people down. However they are also very addictive as is Morphine and are not meant to be taken over a long period of time.Also I've seen on the news recently on their "healthbeat" segment that Klonopin is under scrutiny for causing Diabetes which you say you are allergic to meds they use for the treatment of. I can see why your doctors would be concerned about keeping you on either of those two meds.After all if you knew that slice of pie you were serving your spouse or child would be the slice that could give them Diabetes would you still serve it? I have diabetes and it's not fun.I thankfully got it as an adult but I couldn't imagine how hard it would have been as a child! So if you wouldn't give your own child something that might endanger their health why ask a doctor to do it?


I too had that movement in my legs! There were times they didn't stop for hours! If you don't mind me asking but how do you FEEL inside when it starts? I ask because there were times I just happened to look down and see them going and assumed it was an anxiety attack even though I didn't really feel anxious at the time! It was only after I saw my legs going 150mph that I started feeling anxious! Come to find out that I actually had something called restless leg syndrom which didn't have anything to do with anxiety at all! 

I go to t he VA, so I don't get many choices. I have talked to the doctors thier many times and all they want to do is put you on anti-depreessants. I AM NOT DEPRESSED.... I am a neavous person that just needs put on a nerve pill. I am also allergec to pills for chorlestoral, diebeties, and depression. I have tried thier anti depressants and they make me very sick and crazy. So I refuse to take them.
What do you do when your own doctor will not listen to you. They put me onn adavan for a month and that worked great and then they stoped it. A month later they put me on colonalpin. That worked great. I wasn't nervous no more, my legs quit jumping around which they do couple times a month and sometimes they will di it off and on all day. That stopped. I got back to playing my guitar and other hobbies I have. They stopped it. I can't goto a outside doctor or they will stop other meds I take from them.  What is a person to do. They give a med that works well and take it away from you for reasons I don't know why. I have been on morphine for alot of years for back and leg pain and I am weening myself off that. Makes me sick in stomach all the time. I was on 180mgs and I an down to 120 now. At 120 I am not sick in my stomach no more. Bot I still have this lousy nervous problem... Whay is a person to do ?

We recently found out that my former husband was video taping and photographing my then minor oldest daughter. The episode that aired today was very similar to what our family has gone through.  I've since divorced from him and my youngest has a no contact order in effect since Feb. of 2012. My daughter was afraid to tell because she thought that he would go to prison and by so doing his financial assistance would end therefore leaving us with out any support.  This kept her from telling me for about 3 years.  Salt several other family members knew and kept the secret for various reasons. That in-and-of-itself made me initially mad then sad. This has damaged or family in countless ways and we need someone who can bring us all together and get the answers we need and the help we all so desperately need!!!I've been hoping and prayingfor Dr. Phil's help.  

Hope really is paralyzing but I cannot imagine walking through life with out it.

Thank you so much for listening to me I appreciate your opinion and I will take it to heart And hold it close.  I have never been able to talk to any one about this and I feel better now that i know someone listefrom from the outside and sees what I see. Have a great day