Okay.  In the past, she always ended up having feelings for the man she was working with.  How about if they get jobs where they are working together?  If she is around her husband all the time working, she will naturally develop feelings for him.  The added benefit is that if she is working with him, he will know where she is and won’t have any need to drive around town hunting for her.  They should start working at the same place or start a business together.

I just watched this show today and just cannot believe how much like my situation this is.  My husband just left 1 week ago because he was the victom of my emotional affair  and we just could not get past it. My husband and I have been together 13 years, we met and started dating right away, 8 months later I was pregnant.  Just as Randy and Amanda we never really had relationship time and now have 3 daughters.  Although we have been together all these years we just got legally married 4 years ago, before actually getting married he cheated on me.  I just wanted to get over and past it and we did.  At the time he was doing this I contacted my ex-boyfriend and that was where I made my mistake. Our contact continued for a while although innocent and only over the phone my husband found out.  I then stopped and it started again and again I was caught denying it to the end. he was doing the same thing checking phone records , afraid to come home early etc.  although my emotional affair never amounted to anything more than a few phone calls a week they were so important to me in getting through my everyday mommy-wife life.  My husband however does not believe that they were only phone calls and I couldn't understand that and had the same Pollyanna attitude until watching your show today.  Although I do believe that it is to late for us to turn around from this I do see through you guys the devastation and upset I have brought to him.  I just wish that he had the same love and understanding in his heart to work through it as I did when he cheated.  I saw on the show how much randy loves you and I have to say I am a little jealous as I try to adjust to life without my husband.  best of luck to you two and I hope this experience has opened your eyes and you are able to get past all this and have a wonderful future together.

• Hello its Randy from the show. I need some help here , some advice. Any one who can give me some true advice email me  randy emond at yahoo dot com. I am really more screwed up then I was before the show. There are somany ways to deal with, look at this situation so please I'm really screwed up and yes I do feel like its me against the world.                
                                                                                        Thanks Randy
  

I, too, am in a relationship with someone who has many "friendships" that are kept secret from me.  A couple are ex-girlfriends and I know they email, call, text, etc. but when I confront him he's says nothing is going on and I'm overreacting and that they are just friends.  The worst of it is when he bought a webcam for his work computer, setup a separate SKYPE account from the one at home and starting webcamming one of the women  Of course, he said that's not going on anymore but I don't believe him - and of course he never admitted it was anything inappropriate.  I believe that if he had nothing to hide, he would hide nothing.  He hides a lot. I used to try to look for proof all the time but I quit doing that.  I deserve better.   I think one more lie about another woman and I'll leave.  Luckily we don't have kids and I am able to walk away without that complication.  I personally think he's a very insecure person deep down and that he needs this validation from other women.  He also says he always has to have  "back up plan" so I'm sure these women, in his mind, are his back up plan.  His behavior is very selfish and unfair to me.  Sometimes I think about doing the same to him, but i hate to compromise my values for him.  Oh well, I wish there was an easy answer.  for me, I think leaving this 3 year relationship will be the answer but I'm not ready to do it yet.

I watched the episode called “Affairs of the Heart” on 3/4/09 (air date) and I’ve been there done that, but wish you could follow up, but I know what the outcome will be, or should be. The man will either stay and be miserable, or divorce and be more miserable. (Been there done that) Your show indicated that they will be back, but I doubt it.

My wife when 16 was in treatment for alcohol abuse, and came out a great person, but then went back to drinking.

If I had to do all over again, I’d stay especially if she were to get custody of our two children (which the woman often does because the courts don’t care about moral issues) the only hope the man has is to get full custody and she pays him support.  She might (but I doubt it) hit rock bottom and go back to treatment or get some treatment because the loss of everything just might be enough to get her back on the right path, and after that, it will be mostly up to her to assure that she is not doing anything wrong anymore for a long time any way or method that the man required her to do until he is satisfied, but the woman will never last past a few weeks let alone a month or longer because she has a problem that she has no conscience and will never truly believe that she is wrong, but that the man is wrong to not trust her which came because of her actions without consequences.  

The woman is a sociopath, who has no conscience. And the man, even though he passed and was a Navy SEAL, it was she that triggered the onset and exasperation of his OCPD. They now feed off each other in a toxic relationship.  It actually gets worse after divorce if the man still loves her and wants her to get better but she can’t see that anything is wrong in herself so she will never get help unless something drastic happens to her such as a loss of everything and having to pay financially, but even then there probably is no hope since she didn’t get the help she needed as an adolescent or ever had the willingness to want to modify her behavior.

It’s hopeless for this couple, but if Dr. Phil thinks not (hard to tell since he advice the man that he may have to save himself, but not possible to save self and children)  

I too thought she would get raped or worse, and my greatest fear has happened and another man could not control himself as much as the OCPD man could and so another man beat the crap out of her and she ended up marrying him to keep him and get him out of jail.

The court system is too expensive and doesn’t punish women for things that a man would go to jail for.  My wife was even arrested for abuse and the assigned male guardian implied I was not a man because I reported her abuse and didn’t take it like a man on me and the children.  Then my wife told me she slept with the guardian who became a Judge.  I have this on audio tape, but I don’t want to believe that she slept with the lawyer that became the Judge, but she did sleep around many times before and then convince me she did not.

It got to the point I never could tell if she was lying or not.  Funny story post divorce, she said this in a deposition, “he never knows whether I’m telling the truth or not.” Also, she told our counselor that “he is so nice, and I treat him so badly and he doesn’t deserve it, but I don’t understand why I do it, nor can I stop it.”

I now live a life of hell even 13 years after the divorce because of our children, one of which has Down syndrome.  That woman will never change, she will just move on to her next victim until he figures her out and gets tired of it too.

Not only does my heart go out to the husband, but the children too will live a life of hell and probably become just like the mother as the mother convinces her daughters that there is nothing wrong with what she is doing.  Only God can help them now.

 

 

 

I saw a show of a woman being interviewed and said how bad her husband treated her and how famaily and people called her names because she had affairs when she was married.  Now she has a pollyanamy husband and she is happy because he is ok with here doing what Amanda does.
The husband is ok that his wive loves and sleeps with other men and is happy to share her and her needs are fully met and they have a very happy marrige.   It is a vey romamtic and exciting to see your wife in another mans arms as she desires. Its the true power of the female unleashed, taking her dominant superior role.

 I agree with you.Did you notice Randy's facial expressions and what ever was going on with his Jaw?My heart goes out to Randy.

 Bella,I am in the same boat as Randy,,you say he needs to find another woman,,people tell me that all the time,,with me there is such a strong need  for me to keep the family together.I'm sure he probaly has the same feelings also.

 Watching the show was like watching my own life.My wife has had many emotion affairs and I'm sure these affairs went further than just emotional.My wife drinks also and when she's drinking things seemto be worse.I do all the things I believe his name is Randy does and it just drives me crazy.Its no way to have a life.I also have children and I stay to keep them safe.I wish Dr. Phil could have given some advice on air on what people in our situation could do.Its a miserable life and people like us just want the best for our family.

The show had me in tears. I also mistrust my partner as he develped feeling for my "neice" . It broke my heart... She came to me and broke the news and wad disgusted wiith him and heart broken for me! Made a terrible split in my family. I feel as though if he could do this (develop feelings) for someone so close and not have any regard for my heart....what eles is going on? It is a terrible way to live....questions question questions! My heart goes out to Randy. Shame on Amanda. She needs to stop being selfish and take the alook at the damage she is causing!