Can I watch this video full online? Or order it I live in Amsterdam, The Netherlands thanks

Can I watch this video full online? Or order it I live in Amsterdam, The Netherlands thanks

you have to stop and think about why you married Randy and turn your attention to your husband and give him the love and respect that he deserves, and things will turn around for you as a couple i prmise

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in self-image, behavior, moods, and interpersonal relationships. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity.

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females. Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive-Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces by Nicholas Long, Jody Long and Signe Whitson

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson

High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy OR Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive (Relative) Ex by Richard Warshak

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny. But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits. Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.


Hope it helps!

Let's do an experiment. I'm not interested in your husband in any physical/real way... but give him my email address so we can start our own 'innocent fun' chatting. See how long you last before you go completely mad with jealousy, betrayal and paranoia... 

I know what your husband is going through. And he knows all about it, trust me.

Seriously, grow up. You're not suppose to have butterflies anymore, your love is suppose to mature and change into something even more meaningful. Will he be there for you when you are sick or hurt? How does he look when you snuggle? Has he ever completed a sentence you started in public, and then laugh about it? This love is deeper, more fullfilling if you would take a minute to recognize it.

I watched the show in awe. Finally someone was talking about what I'd been going through.

My partner and I had a wonderful love for 5 years, living together for 2. We still had passion in the bedroom, but for some reason, even unknown to him, he felt he needed to pick up other women and begin inappropriate flirtations with them online or by cell texting. They would chat throughout the day, flirting at the idea of having sex but never going through with it. I know this because I became a master snooper. I monitored all that he wrote without him knowing. I approached him and every time he'd say he was sorry and it would stop. But it didn't. He would get them to send him sexual pictures. He believed it was equivalent to watching porn - totally innocent and unrelated to our life as a couple. My crying fits and constant breakup dreams said quite the opposite. I tried starting an emotional affair with a friend myself, left the messages available for him to find, to make him feel what I was going through. He hated it and was paranoid, so we both decided to end it. I thought finally: empathy. 
I stoped. He didn't. No later than a week, he was back to it with another woman.

I left him and he said he'd change and seek councelling. But throughout the first few sessions, he's resentful towards me for leaving the house and making him admit he has an addiction. Now he feels he can't forgive me for making this a big deal. It's only giving me more reason to not go back to him.

The worse part was: we were happy, he gave me lots of attention and a great sex life, wanted marriage and kids in the near future. But there was no trust for me. And it just plain out didn't seem fair. I see him as weak now, wanting his cake and eat it too. How selfish. How could I ever want someone like that to father my children.

I'm happy I got out.

Seeing the program Affairs of the heart kind of hit home with me. After figuring out on my own what was going on with this woman I chatted with on line. This woman who was saying she loved me, calling me, leaving dirty voicemails and sending some questionable photographs. I found myself thinking about this woman a lot and realized she was being just like this Amanda and turned out to be married. When I confronted her I would never get an answer. That's when I realized this woman was doing to the same thing to lots of men. Not only that, I fell victim to it a few times over the years and was too stupid to realize it. She was leading me on making me believe one thing, but she was thinking of another thing. She was getting the butterflies when she was talking with me and sharing everything about her life. I tried to be friends even though I found out she was married. I also listened to her talk about her marriage. Again I was being used by this woman and became her therapist. Hell on more then one occasion I was called her on-line husband. I was just being manipulated and I don't think she even realized what she was doing. I find this type to be in a state of denial over emotional affairs.
When I decided to end it she got very angry and never felt she did nothing wrong. Like Amanda she sees it as harmless fun. I would really like to know if these woman ever think about what they are doing to the other person? How can it be harmless fun if the other person thinks it might be something real? With all the online line emotional affairs going on, I think people forget that there is a real person writing those words behind the screen. A real person who has feelings and a heart. So many woman feel it's okay to lead a man on when it's anything but okay. It's cruel and can be humiliating. Not just on-line, but in real life as well.
It's just so easy for a man with a big heart to be exploited by woman like Amanda. They give a sob story or some other crap and the next thing you know she has you.
There must be something in my past that is attracting this type of woman?
At least now I have the sense to realize what's going on sooner rather then later.

Give Amanda a kick in the but and leave her. It is better for the kids to be alone with you than be together with the both of you. Cause she can never stop locking for new "kicks". And you will always be unhappy.

first, I'd like to thank Randy & Amanda for putting their marriage on the line.   Sure, it's a lot of attention but after reading a few pages of comments - you really are getting a whole array of perspectives from what I imagine to be many walks of life!  I really admire your commitment Randy, thanks for sharing.

Watching this show was very validating - I could really feel Randy's frustration - I also wanted to know what *I* can do to change myself after infidelity - I haven't turned to meds and it certainly drives me up the wall - the "good news and bad news" that it's not about me is difficult to hear in many respects but in many ways freeing.

I just hope my partner learns how to respect me and more importantly respect herself.   The last line from Dr. Phil saying where this leads is risk of being raped is absolutely true.   After dealing with infidelity, my partner found herself almost raped by someone who just didn't know how to stop or say no.   So to you women who can relate to Amanda - please take this at heart!   Men like Randy & I absolutely fear for what might happen and cringe at the thought that you need to learn the "hard way" - don't put yourself there - stop it before before it happens especially if you want a fighting chance of having a friendship after a breakup - if that's what you feel is the right thing to do.  We don't want to worry about you more than we already do.

The journey I'm on right now is giving my partner 6 months to sort things out and if nothing changes, ending our relationship is not an issue.   I can accept that right now - we have no children at stake.

The most challenging thing for me to work out right now is if I can remain being friends.   I never understood in the past why partners get into situations where they "can't talk to each other" and I guess I never thought this is how I would understand.

All the best to anyone who's relationship is in a similar situation.   I have a resource list (books & movies) I felt were essential in allowing me to recover from infidelity these past 9 months - this show was definitely critical for me and allows me to have much respect for Dr. Phil and his followers!

This childish woman shows no interest in changing. Also, she looks to me like she might be mildly retarded. The man needs to face reality and get the strength to move on and leave the slut behind. Quit wasting time playing detective and use those skills to find one of the many grown women out there who would appreciate a good solid man and help raise those kids. It's one thing when a marriage gets off track;  but this one was never right, why would it start now? She's not wife material.