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2009 Shows

 
(Original Air Date 02/23/09) What happens when a volatile teen relationship threatens to tear a daughter away from her parents? Giesel and Steve say their 18-year-old daughter, Devynn, has an unhealthy relationship with her boyfriend, and the tumultuous union has caused a rift in their family. They say Devynn’s beau calls her names, makes her disobey them and is destroying their daughter’s once promising future. The teen admits that she and her boyfriend argue a lot, but she recently revealed that she is pregnant and plans to have the baby. Find out the devastating news that Devynn learned just days before appearing on the show. What does the future hold for this teen if she follows through with her desire to marry the man of her dreams against her folks' wishes? Can Giesel and Steve broker a peace with their child, or will this family drama continue to spiral out of control? Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: wilsomark on Dec 16, 2009, 12:00AM - In reply to lovehb
kicking her out of the house isn't "running away", it's called "tough love" and the right thing to do. Obviously she hasn't been taught a thing about responsibility, it's high time she was.
 
Replied By: daylightamy on Sep 16, 2009, 8:20AM
What is frustrating about this story, is that it's everyone's "fault". I don't feel like I can say that either one of the parties is right - they're both very wrong in my opinion.

Yes, the parents need to handle this differently. Father suggesting to "mentor" his daughter's boyfriend? "Mentor"? What, does he not have parents? Is he not a civilized human being? Does he need to be programmed? That's just nonsense. Yes, he shows a lack of backbone and sincerity by not being by Devynn's side at the show recording, but the parents are still going about it wrong. The angry mother was incredibly frustrating to watch. You can tell that Devynn would be happy to talk to her mom calmly, and to be comforted by her mom - that's the only way back into your daughter's heart, and you just randomly start yelling at her? That's ridiculous. These people are clueless. Comfort her, love her, and maybe she'll listen. If you never ever respect her decisions (whether they are good or bad) she is not going to take your advice. Once she sees you trust her, she will be more open to talk and listen in an adult fashion.

Then there's Devynn. My goodness. I've never seen such an immature young woman trying to so desperately sound mature. She says everything with this tone as if she is saying "I've given this thought", but when you listen to what she is saying, she is just giving the easy answer. "Having a child as a teenager is possible." Yes, very well noticed. Biology allows it and society allows it. Biology and society also allow for horrible things to happen sometimes. Just because it's humanly possible, does not make it a good idea. But she doesn't give that any thought, she just comes up with this easy answer that shows just how little she understands of life. "It can be done" - so do it, right?

As for the matter of abortion, I do not dictate others how they should decide about that. There is a reason why it's a heated debate - there is no obvious right answer. I'm not gonna sit here and pretend I'd know what to do.

But what was most characteristic to me was the fact that Devynn said "we used protection" pulling this responsible face... and then said "FINE I LIED". Very mature. You sure do own up to your actions. You're clearly ready to raise a child. I mean when her mother called her out about the fact that she was lying, even "I'm sorry... I lied, it was the heat of the moment" would have been a more mature answer. But she admitted it as if the only reason to tell the truth is to make people happy, not own up to your choices. Incredibly immature. I'm sure glad she is not my teen. If you want to be mature, if you want to be seen as fit to raise a child, try owning up to your mistakes. She might as well have been 14.
 
Replied By: marineswife07 on Aug 11, 2009, 8:15PM
Ok Devynn is ok..... if she has finshed high school than she can do whatever she wants to do! But her mom and dad need to understand that she needs to grow up and they leave! Also we all have to learn and do what we gotta do!!!! I got married in high school my senior year.... im not gonna lie my husband and i do fight alot and my parents didnt want me to get married but you know what they didnt really have a choose i was 18.....  im not saying i wish i would have waited but you know what i love my husband and i know my husband loves me! but dont keep telling your daughter not to do something one its gonna make her want to do it more and two because she is gonna be mad at you..... i know the parents are worried but we have to learn on our own!!!!!!
 
Replied By: raquelguerra on Aug 11, 2009, 2:09PM

Sorry about  talking about something that is not happening in my country, but i really believe everytime i watch your programs,there are a total lack of values, but most of all, the most important one LOVE.

How can a mother said to her daughter to kill his own child, and at the same time is crying because she said she loves her. The girl is much more pure, even though she had sex, and that is the reason that she wanted to keep this little human being that is a consecuence of a stupid, but more pure love that she is living at home. I would be very angry with my daughter if she gets pregnant, but by my own experience  of being a mother, prepared for it or not, it is blessing of LOVE, i can not understand the obsession you americans have in sex, Human Beings are not sexual toys, there are alot of soul in making love, you dont have to be prepared to make money, you have to be prepared to be a good person, teens having sex is a social problem, because, they will loose all perspective, of comitment, (in all areas)of natural law, Sexuality was created for Love, only, and its natural consecuence is pregnancy, thats why no condom or security will secure those teens of feeling used, The problem is not the pregnancy is the values, sex is not a problem, but  human beings, are....Do you know a medicine that keep eyes from seeing, if we dont give sexuality its place, this whole world, will be worst than it is, sex, sex, sex, no love no comitment, only money, jobs, careers, looks, i wonder if that  will be enough when the time comes....
 
Replied By: janricke on Aug 11, 2009, 12:13PM
Just want to say that I was pround of Devynn and disappointed in her parents and Dr. Phil. Why wasn't putting the baby up for adoption even mentioned? Devynn at least had enough respect for life to say that she could not abort. She had a living human being that she was protecting. Too bad the rest of you didn't had enough sense to even think of it. Shame on Devynn's mother!
 
Replied By: susan056 on Aug 11, 2009, 11:17AM - In reply to hulagirl1
Goodness gracious hulagirl1 - you just don't get it.  These parents are being parents.  They haven't stopped just because she turns 18.  She is the one who wants to be set free thinking she's capable of making right decisions, but unfortunately she isn't.  This girl does not know what she's doing and it showed how she responded to Dr. Phil's questions on the show. 

This thing about them turning 18 and all of sudden parents are 'supposed to set them free' is wrong.   Maybe these parents need only to tone down the way they talk to their daughter, but thats all it is, and Dr. Phil hit bulls-eye on that one.  Otherwise, not all adolescents are ready and there are many good-hearted naive girls who get taken for a ride by boys who want control.  This is the problem in this girl's case.  Of course Devon is expressing her wish to have more liberty and freedom from her parents, but she's going about it all wrong, and this is what her parents are trying to tell her.

Devon is the one whose got a life ahead of her and needs to BE VERY CAREFUL how she takes her decisions.  She must LISTEN to her parents STILL for a little while longer until she fully understands good relationships and bad relationships.   And this thing about 'allowing them to make their mistakes'????  Why???? Why should we allow our kids to make mistakes, even when they are 'crossing the traintrack when the train is coming'???? Why???? Why don't these kids continue to LISTEN and behave and they'll see that in return they'll end up with a good life with very few mistakes????

Would you tell your employee at work 'oh go ahead and make your mistakes'???? or would you tell them, 'listen to your boss and do what he says becasue he knows better'????? 

So why are people like you insisting that adolescents need to make mistakes?????  Small mistakes are fine, no one is perfect, but come off it, these are BIG MISTAKES that she's making and she's being swept by a guy whose taking full advantage of the situation. 

Those parents are right, no matter what you say, they raised this girl for 18 years and they aren't stopping.  They are right and they deserve to see their daughter do whats right for herself.


 
Replied By: naapcorp on Aug 11, 2009, 6:45AM - In reply to shealy09
AMEN
 
Replied By: hulagirl1 on Aug 10, 2009, 10:56PM
Maybe the "bad" boyfriend is how this girl is rebelling against overly controlling, overly involved parents. Did her father really say had had "even offered to mentor her boyfriend?" Whatever the heck that means, it's a bit weird. I wondered if the mother has a job or other children or any other identity besides being this girl's mother. The girl is an adult, whether her parents like it or not. She is allowed to make her own decisions and/or mistakes. It's nice, but not necessary, for her parents to love everyone she has a relationship with. The mother's word choice was weird too. If her grown daughter doesn't tell her everything about her love life and sex life, that's not "lying". It is simply that a young lady has a right to her privacy.

The parents seemed to think they should be running the show, and were very upset that the daughter had broken away and was making her own decisions, even though that is exactly what a young adult is supposed to do. Also, I didn't hear anything specific about the supposed horrible things this boy did, aside from that the two argued a lot. It seemed to never have occurred to them that it's just as likely that their precious daughter is the one starting the fights. After all, they can't get along with her themselves.

I think she is living with the boyfriend just because she can't stand all the hysterics and smothering from her parents. No young adult wants to be treated like a 12 year old.
 
Replied By: mfallwyn on Aug 10, 2009, 9:54PM
Bless TiVo!  I'm a mother of two children and my Dr. Phil time is 8:30 p.m. every week night.  I just finished watching today's show, 'Teen Love Trauma'.  First, congratulations Dr. Phil for acknowledging Devynn's loss (miscarriage).  We all realize that "it" was probably for the best but by acknowledging the life that was lost, perhaps a little comfort can help Devynn come to terms with the situation she is currently in with ALL of her relationships. 

BUT! I have to add that I had the biggest laugh I've had in years as well tonight!  Though I realize the circumstances surrounding Devynn are raw and sensitive right now, I had to chuckle at the sheer innocence she demonstrated about having a baby at her age.  (Bless her!)

It brought me back to a time, eighteen years or so ago, when I thought I was pregnant (I was fourteen) and told my parents (I'm so sorry Mom & Dad).  I can still recall my own voice trying so very hard to sound mature and stating, "Mom, Dad.  Diapers are cheaper than buying a car!  What is the big deal!?"  It was another four years before I was pregnant with my first and I still wasn't ready! 

Awww!!  Those were the days!  Years and years later, looking back at all the money I've spent since, I'd have to say- I think I've purchased about 5 cars so far!  (No, this does not include college yet, either!)  Hand me another margarita!!

:)
 
Replied By: haroldbras on Aug 10, 2009, 8:46PM
Today teens have a choice.  There is the pill.  There is also the "Day After Pill."  There is abortion.  There are devices including condoms.  There appears to be a complete lack of responsibility in Teenagers.  When I was a teenager, there was an unwritten law that said "if you get her pregnant, you are going to marry her."  You are also going to support her and your family.  There were no ifs, ands or buts abouts about it.  Today, it would probably be that the two of you are going to support and raise your children.  Your mother and I have done our job.  Now. it is your turn. 

If you cannot wait until you are grown and can support them, get ready to do it now.  My suggestion for parents would be to give the  teen age girls each a bottle full of the Day After pills to keep in their purses.   Also, make sure that it never gets low or empty. 

My wife got an abortion.  She simply said, "I am not going to be raising any more kids at this age in life."  In my later single years, I  got two more women pregnant.    They got abortions.   No one likes these things, but life has to go on.   I do not know if it is possible to sue the under-age boy's parents and make them support the child.  I would certainly try. 

haroldbras
 
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