2017 Shows

Sandi says her husband of 12 years, Iain, has never been able to bond with her now 15-year-old daughter, Samantha, whom she claims he despises. Sandi says she and Iain are constantly fighting and he has threatened to kick his stepdaughter out of the house four-to-five times in the last year. Iain says his stepdaughter is lazy, inconsiderate, unmotivated and a master manipulator who is destroying their marriage, and he wants her out of his house at the end of the school year. But Sandi claims Iain’s mother is also a big problem and constantly stirs the pot by spying on her and her daughter and reporting everything to Iain. Sandi says her husband is always protecting his mother and treats her more like his wife and Sandi like his servant. Now, Sandi says she feels like she has to choose between her husband and her daughter. Who will Sandi choose? Will Sandi and Iain be able to save their marriage?

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: junerain on May 19, 2017, 1:17PM - In reply to upsydasy
I had a thought while watching that episode that it was the wife who the man's mother actually resented, but she didn't want him to know that, or especially, the wife to know that, because then she is seen as a jealous old lady. Plus, the wife, since she is an adult, has power, agency and also of course is the man's wife so she has recourse.

I felt the child was simply a convenient target for both the old mother and her old son to take their resentments and rage out on, though they had different actual reasons for their rage and resentment. I wasn't sure what the husband's really were, but I felt neither of them had any cause to be angry with the child. Both seemed to behave like entitled, overgrown toddlers and bullies, twin narcissists who had clearly not given a thought to where they were driving to with all of this. What was their end goal? 

I felt the mom resented anyone stealing her boy's attentions and wanted to be the one in charge in the household. Really primal and ugly stuff. I don't usually believe in these types of theories but in this case it just seemed a classic Oedipal tale (I don't mean physically.) Maybe she had a deep fear of losing power in the family and being put into a nursing home. In any case they had no reason to treat the child that way. I hope there's been a divorce and they never have to see Ma and Son Ogre again, ever. (One per household is bad enough, but two?!) I wonder how Son Ogre's father was treated when he was alive??
Replied By: junerain on May 19, 2017, 11:50AM
This family dynamic was awful.

The teenager seemed like one most families would dream of. The old man and his older mother seemed like ogres from a bad fairy tale. 

She's disrespectful because she didn't jump up and do your drudge work quickly enough? She was on her tablet? So what? Does she exist to live like a maid and await your every whim?

The older woman put a knife in the wife/mom's face? 

What a sick family dynamic. I think the mom should divorce the old man, move out, and let him live with his mother who seems to be the real love of his life. Nothing's worth your child being destroyed by an ogre.
Replied By: batchik on Apr 23, 2017, 12:24AM - In reply to upsydasy
ladies  us all flood this message board with words of encouragement to this deserving young lady. She is not getting it at home so the village must step in. 

i like what Upsidaisey wrote. so many of us feel for this girl. We hope she knows that in spite of horrible parenting she is a real winner
Replied By: upsydasy on Apr 22, 2017, 11:05AM - In reply to robertfromohio
The old phrase “what does she see in him” kept going through my mind throughout the show.  At the end when the mother, who is still unclear, asks “do you mean I should leave”, just made me want to throw something.  More often than not we see children being abused because their mothers don’t have a job.  They are completely dependent on these domineering men and sneaking around behind their backs only makes things worse.  Besides, that old woman is the eyes and ears in that house and, despite what she says, has NOTHING better to do than to spy on a child and her mother.  I really, really wanted to tell her what she should do with her damn chocolates.  Setting the table and clearing it is one thing, but expecting a 15 year old to prepare family meals because the old bat is fed-up with cooking is ridiculous.  She’s just a kid, not the family maid.  Their demands will only increase as she gets older.  I don’t know why Iain and his mother hate that child, but clearly they do.

Dr. Phil has said many times that you don’t end a marriage while there’s still unfinished business.  I suspect that Iain will quit the counselling sessions as soon as he realises that he can’t bully the therapist Dr. Phil recommends.  Samantha is 10 times smarter than the bunch of them put together.  She has a lot of potential and will go far as long as these so-called adults in her life stop sabotaging her progress.  If she’s able or allowed to read these comments on that secret tablet of hers, I’d like to say to her: you go girl and congratulations on winning that scholarship!  Education will be your ticket out so stick with it and never give up, you can do it.
Replied By: robertfromohio on Apr 22, 2017, 1:09AM
I don't think I've ever been quite so angry watching the Dr. Phil show. Most bad guests make me feel pity, confusion, laughter (I'm ashamed to admit) or exasperation. But these people are the absolute worst human beings I've seen on the show so far, and it was hard to get through the episode because of it.

The stepfather is an awful, abusive, self-righteous, loudmouth bully who is not qualified to be a husband or a parent. The way he speaks to his daughter and the way he treats her is abhorrent. It's like she's not even his daughter, just some rival sibling.

Iain's mother is even worse. A nasty, shrill old crone who doesn't say words so much as she spits them out like acid. It's no wonder her son grew up to be such a piece of crap with a mother so awful she's practically a monster from a Greek myth. The co-dependent, sycophantic relationship he has with this abusive freak is disgusting and feels like something out of Psycho or some other slasher movie about a killer with mommy issues. She's still playing mommy to him, and he's still acting like a petulant child.

They both talk about the daughter like she's this evil little hellspawn, but all I see is a quiet, scared little girl. It's very clear to me that they're just picking on her because she can't fight back, she's weak and they're so emotionally insecure and toxic they have to rip into a child to satisfy their sadism.

And then there's the mother, who has completely failed as a mother and allows those attack dogs to chew on her daughter again and again. Mothers are supposed to protect their children, not offer their children up as sacrificial lambs to the angry wolves she lies down with. It's absolutely disgraceful that she let these creeps do this for the past six years. I wouldn't have let it go on for one damn day.

This episode proves Dr. Phil is a candidate for sainthood in my opinion, because he had the patience to sit on the same stage as these jackals. If I were hosting the show, I would just have them all arrested right when they entered the room, and then the rest of the show would have been me yelling at them in their jail cells.

Thank you, Dr. Phil, for exposing awful people like this to the whole world. Now every in this child's life needs to make sure this garbage stops forever.
Replied By: viewer49 on Apr 21, 2017, 7:51PM
Ian is a jerk and Sandy has issues. They might be able to fix things with help but it will never happen with Yvonne around. She is a meddling, manipulative busybody. She has no business in the middle of that marriage. Samantha is a lovely young woman with some typically obnoxious teenage behaviors. She can outgrow them. The rest of you are adults. Start acting like it.
Replied By: patsyu on Apr 21, 2017, 7:13PM
There should be a travel ban on self-righteous jerks.  Send Ian and his mommy back to South Africa.
Replied By: karylysa on Apr 21, 2017, 7:02PM
I know there are problems being a step-parent, but as a step parent, I agree with what Dr. Phil says about that - you let the biological parent do the parenting - the step parent should be respected and the rules of the house respected - but let's be realistic about what that is.  Mom says she expects her room and bathroom to stay clean, and for her to do her own laundry.  I think that's great.  I see a lot of comments about how hard some people had it as kids - for gosh sake - doesn't that make you want to be more supportive of Samantha being allowed to enjoy a childhood a little bit longer?  She's not even old enough to drive a car.  Everyone's circumstances are different - some have it harder than others - but no one deserves to be put down continually as Iain admits to doing.  I still have my own childhood scars that run deep, but I can't understand anyone thinking Iain is justified in any way for saying that kind of crap to a kid - and he's been saying it for awhile - not just since she turned 15.  As Phil says - it takes a million atta boys to erase 1 you're stupid or whatever - and Iain is not capable of giving anyone a million atta boys - hopefully after therapy - if he really commits to therapy - he will be able to achieve a relationship with Samantha - assuming that she would want it, if only for her mother.   Samantha will grow up and hopefully have a great life - her mom needs to either find a good man, or accept that Iain is the way he is and that she won't see much of her child, or grandchildren, if she stays with him.  Makes me wonder what kind of young men Iain's sons are and how much is attributable to their mother and the fact that Iain has not been living with them for the last 12 years.
Replied By: patsyu on Apr 21, 2017, 6:49PM
Dear Lord, Sandy, what on earth do you see in Ian?  I guarantee that self-righteous, arrogant narcissist will never change.  Therapy hasn't worked because he's a genetic jerk.  You can tell from his mother that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.  Send them both back to South Africa.
Replied By: suzygil on Apr 21, 2017, 6:31PM - In reply to tinker1118

Thanks for your support!  I do know what I am talking about.

Sorry you got slammed by some weirdo. 
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