2009 Shows

(Original Air Date: 02/16/09) If you are a parent of a little girl, “tween,” or teenager, you’re going to relate to this show! Dr. Phil talks with parents who say raising a teen daughter is difficult in an oversexed, celebrity-obsessed, cosmetic surgery-seeking society. Char and Robb are concerned about their 14-year-old daughter, Demi, because they say she dresses too sexy for her age. She likes to wear thong underwear, tight jeans and high heels. They admit they’ve even used the word slut to describe how she looks. Demi says she doesn’t care what names people call her –- she’s “Demi-licious!” Are Char and Robb truly putting their foot down? Dr. Phil has some hard questions for these parents. And, what does Demi’s little sister have to do with the role Demi has chosen? Plus, meet the author of The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It. Join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: nanistarr on Feb 29, 2016, 12:48PM
It appears that he Mom and daughter shop in the same place. They are dressed almost the same. Mom stated: "She is special" (refering to her daugter) "She is Blonde".  Are you serious? Mom is her role model.
Replied By: lalexa64 on Dec 10, 2015, 9:36AM
Dr. Phil, I am sitting here watching this episode from 2009 about girls growing up to fast...

All the while praising all the powers that be that my three daughters, ages 18, 15, 12 have never...NEVER, wanted "sexy" clothes.  None of them want to dress sexy, or get boys, or any of the things that have been discussed.

Demi's parents failed, epically and totally.  There is a quote, I don't know who said it, but it goes like this:

Books, before boys because boys bring babies.

I feel so bad for this young lady.  I hope this family got the help they needed from you.
Replied By: smileheidiluvs on Oct 30, 2013, 12:11PM
This reminds me way too much of me and my childhood.  The beauty of this young girl seems tI be the only thing that has been encouraged.  She also seems to be suffering from either depression or at least close.  I really hope family and individual counseling was recommended or provided!  This seemed to be the biggest struggle I have seen Dr Phil have, wanting to blame it on society when I think the home, identity crisis was the bigger problem.
Replied By: hortense on Jul 17, 2013, 3:20AM
seeing this show for the first time tonight. Demi is coming across like an idiot psychopath. Or maybe that's not the right word, but she seems completely dissociated from common communication. At 14 she should be better able to communicate like a grown human, but perhaps she's just nervous to be on TV. This show seems to be from about 4 years ago and I hope to goodness now adult Demi has learned how to value herself and not need "attention" in order to validate her existance.
Replied By: lizawren on Oct 29, 2012, 8:08AM
Wow - this kid is so, so sad. And one day, when she's grown up a bit, she's going to be so incredibly embarrassed when she sees herself on this show. And then, hopefully, she'll grow up some more and everything will turn out okay. Girl, I speak from experience... start nurturing the unique person inside of you and stop looking to casual acquaintances and complete strangers to validate your existence. Good luck, Demi!
Replied By: annvdb on Feb 28, 2010, 12:40AM
This show was just on tv here in Belgium.
I am 23 now but when I was 14-15 I also started to dress more "sexy". Especially when I could go out. My parents didnt mind at all, no one did actually. I wore tight pants and shirts showing my tummy. Also my best friends mom bought me thongs when I was just 12 years old. I didnt show them thought but when I was older I did and guys I knew asked me which colour thong I was wearing and then I told them.
Did I want to have sex? no. Did I want a relationship? No, I actually have never wanted a relationship and I still dont. I dont even feel sexually attracted. Im never been traumatised, never had negative experiences, just dont want it. But thats another subject.
So anyway, I started to spend more time on the computer and came in contact with people who thought about life, and I read so many different peoples opinions and I started to realise why I was the way I was, and why I was behaving in such a way. I wanted attention and I wanted to be seen as "hot" because I saw guys responded to that. I had a lot of male attraction. Also the media is a huuugeeeee influence on children;, both males and females. Males are taught to like woman who dress like that, to pursue sexual imaging, and girls are taught to become the sexual image. There is so much to be said about that and I seriously think all people that have jobs promoting this kind of sexualistic superficial systematic programmed behaviour should speak up, stop, and make a carreer change. Its insane, and they remain blind to it although they know very well what they are doing.
Since my parents didnt mind it, and no one in my family did, I learned myself. And I think a lot about myself and questioned all my behaviour and what i think and feel and never follow it blindly. So I stopped dressing a certain way to be liked or approved off, I stopped wearing all make up and use of chemical products which promote animals abuse (animal testing) and sexualisation. We have to stop valuing ourselves based on pictures. Its crazy.

I also notice often in america people pay more attention to this, in my circle of growing up it is all seen as kinda normal. Also people were drunk a lot, my parents were drunk every weekend but its seen as normal here because all their friends do it to. I always dissaproved and me and my brother dont drink at all. My parents often drove drunk in the car with us. I was always very scared and really really angry at my parents. My mom stopped drinking. I had to tell her a thousand times how stupid it is an how she compromises herself. She said she never thought much about what she did but now she does. So its kinda upside down lol, the child parenting the parent. Although its not parenting. Its sharing the realisations and not allowing another being to keep up with destructive behaviour both towards themselves and others.

So maybe this girl will do the same and start to make up her own mind and direct herself towards what is best for herself and ALL. But anyway, the parents have a big responsability in a childs life and stop comparing the child to all kinds of things, and stimulate the child to express itself without fear, but also not to blindly follow feelings and emotions and thoughts because those are programmed within us. And since the parents have been programmed, it takes a lot of self honesty to see through it.
Replied By: loladd on Nov 2, 2009, 7:17AM
I personally think that if the parents have a problem with the way she dresses, how about not buying her those clothes? I mean, they are letting the girl take total control. She's just a KID for crying out loud! The only one they can blame is themselves because they allow it. They should not take away her computer/cellphone or whatever, they should take away the CLOTHES and the makeup. They can't blame the girl, she is just influenced by the media, as any girl probably is. They should get their act together and be responsible for their actions as parents.
Replied By: tirza12 on Oct 30, 2009, 10:26AM
I would just like to say that in Holland, it's perfectly normal for teenage girls to dress like that. I don't see the problem, they're young and attractive and are discovering men are after that and would do anything for them. It's part of a learning process, 14 is a normal age for that. Sure, for some girls this doesn't happen untill they're around 16,17 but those are late developing. 14 is the appropriate and normal age to be dressing sexy and discovering the differences between men and women
Replied By: shazz68 on Oct 14, 2009, 8:06PM
The role of Parent and child has clearly become quite blurred here. I have a 13 yrold girl who would love to dress like this. My answer NO!! that's it . and My respose to argument and whining is "It's inappropriate i said No"  She's 13 i have the money not her and i'm not buying these clothes for her. If i suspect she is sneaking something to school, i give her the opportunity to remove it from her bag and put it away, then she can bring the bag for me to inspect. Supervision, consistancy and heaps of open conversation about what is appropriate and what's not.
Replied By: perthlaval on Sep 9, 2009, 8:54AM
As the previous comment from Denmark, I was shocked about this show. Dr. Phil usually strikes me as wise and tolerant, but I completely disagree with what he advised here. We have young (even younger) girls trying to copy sexy girls they constantly watch on MTV or TMF too but the majority in The Netherlands would see this as typical puberty behaviour that is a normal result of changing hormones. We would laugh and even compliment on the way they are growing up rather than condemn. Complete intolerance will never be understood, the trick is to dose it, I would say. This girls father... spanking his little daughther and bragging that he won't stop it... What gives him the right to be such a tiran? This is all a combination of a changing body and indeed low self esteem. The parents should seek for a way to agree on a more mature look without it becoming too sexy.
Another thing that struck me was Dr. Phil's belief that wearing a suit makes him more reliable. Unbelievable! Can Americans not look through this? Be authentic, that's the point, suit or no suit, be yourself. The girl in the show is exploring where her authenticity lies, she should be carefully guided and not burned down nor spanked by her daddy. Amazed...
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