2014 Shows

 
Jamie says his soon-to-be ex-wife, Jennifer, is a real-life “Mommy Dearest” who verbally attacks their two children constantly -- yelling at them, calling them “stupid” and even waking them up at night to correct their chores. He says the drama has gotten so bad, he got a protection order against Jennifer -- something she claims he did in order to force her out of their lives. Jennifer admits she’s strict but absolutely denies being abusive and says Jamie is exaggerating. When Dr. Phil brings this estranged couple together in search of a resolution, Jennifer confesses a disturbing and dangerous behavior. When offered a chance to get her life back on track, will Jennifer accept?

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: jamiehusband on Feb 11, 2015, 7:02AM - In reply to paulab12
I am "the husband" from the episode. I couldn't agree more as far as women [seemingly] doing no wrong...men very rarely ever get a fair shake in these matters. I've been watching in disbelief for months as most of these ignorant and assumptive comments have poured in. You, however get it! Thanks for making sense. 
 
Replied By: paulab12 on Jan 2, 2015, 4:36AM
As ever no matter what the mother does its ALWAYS  the fathers fault I noticed three things 




1 emotional  abuse of the children, they are happy with their dad and DON'T WANT to live with mom


2 The statement that the ex husband's new partner would not survive the year, a threat to committ murder 


3 She said she would commit suicide but not go alone now how many father's would be willing to leave a child or children  with a woman saying she wants to commit murder/suicide.  




Despite these threats its always assumed to be his fault.  He  has probably saved their lives by taking them from her, the authorities don't want her to have more than supervised visitation to keep them safe but the women here want her to be in a position to be able to murder her two children.   Just because she is the mother and mothers never do any wrong.
 
Replied By: lorinews on Dec 22, 2014, 7:45PM - In reply to helizabeth
I agree with you.
 
Replied By: lorinews on Dec 22, 2014, 7:40PM - In reply to beachroz
I had the same visceral reaction as you.  I was  .  Immediately creeped out by the guy.  I even expect that he's psychopathic.   Ok was terribly disappointed in Dr. PHIL'S complete cluelessness to this.   I posted a similar comment but it is mysteriously missing from all these other posts.  Thanks for your post.
 
Replied By: pilialoha on Dec 22, 2014, 2:00AM
I think a huge part of Jennifer's problem is the husband named Jamie.  I think Jennifer is very depressed.  Her affect is so flat (I am a registered nurse).  I wanted to reach out to her and just give her a big hug.  I think everyone in her life has been telling her what she does wrong and she believes it.  The children didn't seem afraid of her.  

But the biggest part of show came at the end.  I feel a major disservice was done to people who live with chronic pain.  The woman portrayed has arthritis in her thumb joints.  She also has some back pain but it is not everyday.  I don't think this woman knows what living with chronic pain is like.  She could have her thumb joints replaced.  I have had rheumatoid arthritis since the age of 19 so I have had it over 40 years now.  I have arthritis in every single joint in my body and throughout my whole spine.  There are a lot of things she could do to help her pain.  The first is to get rid of that whoa is me attitude.  I live in horrible pain everyday and people who know me are amazed because I always have a smile on my face.  I use distraction a lot.  Plus I am good at ignoring pain to the point of having a Jones fracture of my foot.  I had walk on my foot for at least a month with it fractured.  I knew it hurt but I just thought it was my arthritis.  I needed surgery to fix that.  It also didn't sound like she has seen a doctor which she should do if she hasn't already.
 
Replied By: dream28b on Dec 20, 2014, 9:47PM - In reply to skylarsimone
I think this mother was severly depressed and I do think that her husband contributed to it getting worse when he got fed up with it. She is seeking attention, care, compassion, someone who thinks about her and wants to spend time with her. She didn't have a normal childhood and although you can't hide behind it for long because it is treatable, it is a real thing to be effected by the way she grew up.

I dealt with rape and abuse and the ages of 6 and 7 and it haunted me in trust with men, I also grew up without a father and a mother who was not always making mature decicions when it came to punishing, talking to or just plain raising us. So when I became an adult I had to learn how I had control over my life and how to learn I couldn't have my hand held through it and I had no skills taught to me.

This lead me to trusting bad people. Luckily I never got into drugs but I had boyfriends that really pushed for sex out of me and thinking I was an adult and he's an adult and adults know right and wrong and he wouldn't be asking me if it was bad, I would give my body away to my bf's a lot and very easily. I finally became a woman, an adult almost over night and learned what I had the rights to and discovered my sexuality and what made me feel good and what I wanted and when I wanted it. It all was just about letting go of the fear that there is only you to make the decisions and you loved ones care and want to advise and support you but they are not the attention givers your parents were when you were 4

I've been there before, scared and alone and feeling that if I make a desperate cry, if I make people feel I would harm or kill myself, I got attention and codlling. And it would make me feel seen and cared about. But it's a much more freeing life to have confidence and comfort from yourself and your own strength then need someone else to keep saving you from yourself. No adult wants to babysit another adult, especially an able mind and bodied person who chooses not to change. It's no way of life for anyone. Get the backbone to ask for attention and speak what you need instead of being like a child and throwing a tantrum and getting someone else to fix it.
 
Replied By: rocketgal on Dec 19, 2014, 6:34PM - In reply to leogorky
Actually i spent 2 years in counselling dealing with my issues because of my past....i have nothing but peace and love within me....i am not bitter or angry because I learned to forgive.
 
Replied By: bagryan on Dec 19, 2014, 5:08PM - In reply to findlay11
I watched the show 4 times and not once did I see that.
 
Replied By: faninmn on Dec 19, 2014, 3:09PM
I recognized your affect.  I used to have it.  I finally had a name put to it; it's called disassociation.  when you are in such overwhelming pain and trauma that you literally have to emotionally sever yourself from your own situation to be able to survive it.  

What you are feeling?  Is invalidation.  Your worth as a daughter was questioned.  You have been undermined as a mother; you have had your family close ranks from someone who is trying to isolate you from your own children; you have been unvoiced in every way.  Your screaming is to try to be heard; but it is being used against you.


I know what that kind of pain feels like.  Mine also started in childhood.  It continued in my marriage; and at the worst; I literally had my family and at the time husband fully close ranks and they would go missing; I was blacklsted from everyone who spoke to my family or my ex; I lost my family, church, friends (he deleted their mesages and told them I didn't want to talk to them), had absolutely NO crediblity as a mother with the kids and my daughter was told to be literally afraid of me, and at the worst; I was thrown out of a home tht I was paying for even, because he did not want me in it.  I went to my parents and the reaction was "I don't blame him" and they shut the door in my face".

It KILLED me to leave without the kids but finally went to crisis conenction; and they told me if I did not get out of that dynamics environment I would be dead within a year at the most.  They said to put myself in position of strength; and then get the kids.


It was the hardest thing I ever did (the decision) but once I actually learned I would NEVER get validation from them?  I felt let out of prison  That was when I couldd heal.  For all the family who closed ranks with him?  Others who knew how messed up the family had always been closed ranks karound me, and cared for me.  For all the friends he taught to avoid me; I made new ones that learned who I actually was, not who they were told I'd become.  I picked the place I weas going to live, changed careers, told the kids they could pick how often they came (myd aughter chose to live with me right away; the boys was half and half until my ex learned my duaghter was never going to move back home; and then he left and did not look back; and I ended up with 100% custody (with no financial assistance, no child support, no interactionw ith him and them at all).  My church ultimately learned what was actually true and we have reconnected. 


My daughter, who had been taught I was crazy and to be feared one night called from the next room at 1:30 am, and said she just wanted to let me know she respected how I was able to respond to how I had been treated and that I was better than a mom and dad put together and thanked God every single day that I was her mom, and said she wanted to grow up to be me.  (she was the reason I finally got reconnected with my family; what my ex said and what actually occured she was direct witness of; so she knew how many times he lied; and she told my family they were being really unfair to me).   It was actually validating for her to know that no matter where a person comes from, they can dictate their own destiny as longn as they don't blame other people for their problems, focus on who they want to be, choose what they look at and make good things happe, and treat everyone with kindness and respect.


They are proud of me. And the people who only could see me through the other people's mirrors have either seen past that, or I have learned not to need their validation.


You will feel let out of prison once you stop getting invalidated and programmed to be voiceless and feel worthless.  You have worth.  You have a voice.  You won't get understanding  from some people.  You will not get validation from some people.  But those people?  Don't matter.  Look away, and learn to validate YOURSELF.


Until you start to learn the world is a better place with you in it?  Say the KIDS deserve the world with you in it.  Do not ever utter the words again that you won't be alive.  Because those words are devastating to hear for children.  Initially do it for them, but ultimately?  You will mean it for yourself.  Because the world IS  a better place with you in it.  You are a unique, gifted, loving, daughter and mother and friend and sister who is the only one of you anywhere on earth; the world is a better place with you in it.  And your kids NEED you to know the world (and their world) both need you in it.  Initially fake strength around them for their sake; but eventually you will feel it for yourself.


The girlfriend and the house are not what you need.  You need to learn who you are.  And you need to learn if someone does not bother to want to know you and love you?


Their loss, and good riddance.  Find someone else who does.  You CAN do it.  I am praying wholeheartedly for you and for your family

You said you just want someone to hold your hand and tell you it is going to be ok.  I CAN tell you and mean it; it is going to be ok.
 
Replied By: faninmn on Dec 19, 2014, 3:00PM
I recognized your affect.  I used to have it.  I finally had a name put to it; it's called disassociation.  when you are in such overwhelming pain and trauma that you literally have to emotionally sever yourself from your own situation to be able to survive it.  

What you are feeling?  Is invalidation.  Your worth as a daughter was questioned.  You have been undermined as a mother; you have had your family close ranks from someone who is trying to isolate you from your own children; you have been unvoiced in every way.  Your screaming is to try to be heard; but it is being used against you.


I know what that kind of pain feels like.  Mine also started in childhood.  It continued in my marriage; and at the worst; I literally had my family and at the time husband fully close ranks and they would go missing; I was blacklsted from everyone who spoke to my family or my ex; I lost my family, church, friends (he deleted their mesages and told them I didn't want to talk to them), had absolutely NO crediblity as a mother with the kids and my daughter was told to be literally afraid of me, and at the worst; I was thrown out of a home tht I was paying for even, because he did not want me in it.  I went to my parents and the reaction was "I don't blame him" and they shut the door in my face".

It KILLED me to leave without the kids but finally went to crisis conenction; and they told me if I did not get out of that dynamics environment I would be dead within a year at the most.  They said to put myself in position of strength; and then get the kids.


It was the hardest thing I ever did (the decision) but once I actually learned I would NEVER get validation from them?  I felt let out of prison  That was when I couldd heal.  For all the family who closed ranks with him?  Others who knew how messed up the family had always been closed ranks karound me, and cared for me.  For all the friends he taught to avoid me; I made new ones that learned who I actually was, not who they were told I'd become.  I picked the place I weas going to live, changed careers, told the kids they could pick how often they came (myd aughter chose to live with me right away; the boys was half and half until my ex learned my duaghter was never going to move back home; and then he left and did not look back; and I ended up with 100% custody (with no financial assistance, no child support, no interactionw ith him and them at all).  My church ultimately learned what was actually true and we have reconnected. 


My daughter, who had been taught I was crazy and to be feared one night called from the next room at 1:30 am, and said she just wanted to let me know she respected how I was able to respond to how I had been treated and that I was better than a mom and dad put together and thanked God every single day that I was her mom, and said she wanted to grow up to be me.  (she was the reason I finally got reconnected with my family; what my ex said and what actually occured she was direct witness of; so she knew how many times he lied; and she told my family they were being really unfair to me).   It was actually validating for her to know that no matter where a person comes from, they can dictate their own destiny as longn as they don't blame other people for their problems, focus on who they want to be, choose what they look at and make good things happe, and treat everyone with kindness and respect.


They are proud of me. And the people who only could see me through the other people's mirrors have either seen past that, or I have learned not to need their validation.


You will feel let out of prison once you stop getting invalidated and programmed to be voiceless and feel worthless.  You have worth.  You have a voice.  You won't get understanding  from some people.  You will not get validation from some people.  But those people?  Don't matter.  Look away, and learn to validate YOURSELF.


Until you start to learn the world is a better place with you in it?  Say the KIDS deserve the world with you in it.  Do not ever utter the words again that you won't be alive.  Because those words are devastating to hear for children.  Initially do it for them, but ultimately?  You will mean it for yourself.  Because the world IS  a better place with you in it.  You are a unique, gifted, loving, daughter and mother and friend and sister who is the only one of you anywhere on earth; the world is a better place with you in it.  And your kids NEED you to know the world (and their world) both need you in it.  Initially fake strength around them for their sake; but eventually you will feel it for yourself.


The girlfriend and the house are not what you need.  You need to learn who you are.  And you need to learn if someone does not bother to want to know you and love you?


Their loss, and good riddance.  Find someone else who does.  You CAN do it.  I am praying wholeheartedly for you and for your family

You said you just want someone to hold your hand and tell you it is going to be ok.  I CAN tell you and mean it; it is going to be ok.
 
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