2009 Shows

(Original Air Date: 01/28/09) Are you a newlywed suffering from honeymoon hangover? It’s when the vacation in the Bahamas is over, the dress is put away and couples realize there’s an important thing they now have to face: Marriage. Dr. Phil is shocked to find how little couples know about each other before they walk down the aisle. Jeremy and Tamarra have been married for only eight months, and they wonder if their marriage can be saved. Jeremy says Tamarra is so clingy that he’s had to give up everything he enjoys in order to spend time with her. Tamarra says being married means doing everything together, so why wouldn’t Jeremy want to spend every free minute with her? Dr. Phil gives them a newlywed quiz. How well do they really know each other? Then, Mandy says her husband of three years did a 180-degree turn after they got married and changed his mind about an important value they shared: faith in God. Now, Nic says he’s an atheist, and Mandy is worried about what this means for their marriage and their family. Plus, Dr. Phil answers important questions from engaged couples: Should partners open a joint checking account? Do you need to get along with your future spouse’s family? How much do you need to know about your partner’s past? If you’re about to tie the knot, grab a pen and paper and make sure you know these important facts about your mate! Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: kcballgrl20 on Nov 8, 2011, 9:33AM
I personally know many people who know thier now or previous husbands/wives for a year and boom get married. They don't understand why my hunsband and I waited 5 years to get married. Well there is a lot to get to know about a person before you get married. In my opinion this is why the divorce rate is so high. As a matter of a fact I have a sister who is doing this exact thing.

She's 19, has known her fiance for a year and they are getting married in 7 months. This scares the living daylights out of me not only because she'll be 19 and getting married, but they don't know one another. They have been living in his parents basement for almost a year now because they were kicked out of thier apartment for having a dog that is restricted. My biggest concern is she is going to get married and 5 years from now is going to realize she doesn't like what she learns about her husband. She's young and is jumping into something before doing her homework.

Another really close friend of mine actually just got married last month to a girl that he has known for not even two years. She dumped him this time last year, and they got back together. He proposed and boom 3 months later they are married. WHAT'S THE RUSH! I don't get it!!!!!
Replied By: chels188 on Feb 3, 2011, 5:03PM
I just saw this episode on OWN as a rerun. I'm going to have to call this like I see it. I understand this couple was pretty religious and had very traditional values, which I feel adds to my point.  Jeremy is clearly gay. He is struggling with this, which is why he'll find any excuse to be away from his wife, and with the fighting, gives it him a reason to refuse sex. Controlling someone is not an attractive trait, but she obviously sensed his need to pull away and tried to "over correct" the situation. What she did was not right, but she was trying to control a situation that she couldn't. Maybe she feared he'd meet a nice boy at Judo? Perhaps the horse wranglers were too attractive for her liking? And everyone knows that gay men notoriously hang out at gyms. Either way, the couple needs to split. I  also feel that this issue not being addressed on national TV was because Dr. Phil was sensative to Jeremy, because I can't fathom that he would be dense enough not to see it. Dr. Phil are you going to do a follow-up? Because I really want to see the coming out story...it could be encouraging to couples nationwide who are struggling with similar skeletons completely in the closet.
Replied By: albertarn on Sep 25, 2010, 10:31PM - In reply to cuteshaggy
I'm a (relatively) new husband, married to my wife for 2 years. She has a now 7-year old from a previous marriage. Things have been fairly solid up until recently I think - she says I am becoming worse & worse at listening to her. She says I routinely forget things she claims to have told me minutes before and that I tune her out. Naturally, she gets mad. I admit I have NOT always listened to her they way she'd like; I am FAR from a perfect husband. Unfortunately I'm not sure what I need to do to fix things. I absolutely REFUSE to go on the offensive (or defensive) when she accuses me of these things; I'm not going to counter-attack & just make things worse. I try to be there for them when they need me around (and for the most part, I think I am). Now I am beginning to fear what might come next.

Tamara's hubby has been a little unfair, concealing his atheism the way he has. I don't consider myself an atheist but am no longer active in any church, largely because of preachers and the particular church itself (which was GREATLY at odds with my chosen profession in life).

What am I to do???
Replied By: stamfcows on Oct 25, 2009, 3:55PM - In reply to scooter1062
I know you are right about this statistic- I guess I would say they do not have any covictions based on the Word of God with regards to marriage- My husband and I take the fact that we stand before a holy God and that oneday we will give an account -we take our lives and the way we live very seriously.
Replied By: clayandlinds on Apr 23, 2009, 1:32AM
I would just like to say that you should appreciate the time that you get to spend together. Also appreciate the fact that ya'll have civilian jobs that don't require either one of you to go on trainings and deployments not to mention just having a spouse in the military because the militarty demands a lot of their time. My husband is in the United States Army and we were apart for 2 years before I joined him at his first duty station here in Hawaii and six months of that two years we were married and also another six months he was deployed during those two years and I was not even able to see him before that. Now we have been together for a year at  this duty station and he has been on a numerous traingings and in 3 months fixing to be deployed back to Iraq for a year to 15 months. So with all that being said I don't get to see my husband a lot but our love is so strong for eachother that we enjoy the time we do have together and ya'll should too because it could be worse. I suggest that ya'll go out and do things together with eachothers friends and its ok to let him go hang with the guys and you go and hang with the girls. Just remember it could be a worse situation where you are forced to be apart for long periods of time.
Replied By: jesszoo on Apr 22, 2009, 1:17PM
I have two books to recommend to atheists authentically searching for truth in this faith called Christianity.  Both of these books are written by men who were orginally atheists, but after asking themselves the questions in these books had a change of mind and, of course, a change of heart.

1.)  "Mere Christianity" by C.S. Lewis

2.)  "The Case for Christ"  by Lee Strobel 
Replied By: bendore07 on Apr 22, 2009, 7:42AM
i don't respond to too many shows, but this young lady has to be the most controlling "young" person i've ever seen. Selfish, and like j says "PSYCO" . i told my kids (2and 2), never lose the person you were born to be. if you lose yourself , not give yourself it's different. i had a bad 1st marriage, i did just what jeremy is doing. and lost years of life.
Replied By: jrmass on Apr 20, 2009, 3:43PM - In reply to kittiesmom
Exactly. What does a woman do at home when her husband is working 60 hours a week? Princesses who are rich sit home doing nothing. I don't mean official princesses, I mean the ones whose daddies treated them like princesses all their life and made them marriageable at 21 because of all the cash. So, in that case, the husband is stuck with a high maintenance wife. I don't know if that's the case with this woman, but there are many examples of such women in life who aren't marriageable to begin with and end up marrying the best catch.
Further, dear friend, you are so sweet to  quote Khalil Gibran, but please don't get all nostalgic or messed up in the head about love poems written by such people. The actual reality of Lebanese marriages is far from the ideal of Khalil Gibran, very far from the ideal. All you have to do is google: women's rights in Lebanon and see for yourself. And please, don't be a Lebanese dreamer. I'm from this culture and although there are beautiful dreamy things about it, we're not really living in the land of milk and honey here in North America, nor are those women living out there In Lebanon having it any good at all. It's a hell of a life for them, trust me.
Replied By: jrmass on Apr 20, 2009, 3:33PM - In reply to kittiesmom
I agree with you. Die-hard Christians are usually very judgmental. Stop listening to morons who are religiously brainwashed.
Replied By: jrmass on Apr 20, 2009, 3:32PM
I think it's better when men make the first move in dating. Then women either accept or reject the move. For sure, women could reject the move. But it's my opinion that it's a lot better for women to be chosen than for them to do the choosing. In this case, with this couple, I wonder who made the first move.
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