2014 Shows

Dana is furious with her sister, Jaye, who she says refuses to relinquish temporary guardianship of Dana’s 13-year-old daughter. Dana admits she has struggled with drugs in the past but says she has been clean for 21 months and is desperate to bring her daughter home. But Jaye insists her niece is doing great in her care and questions whether Dana has really changed. Dr. Phil intervenes in this sister vs. sister custody battle. Why does Dana claim Jaye is acting out of spite? And, hear from the teen caught in the middle of this tug-of-war -- what does she want? Plus, Dr. Phil weighs in -- what does he think is the family’s best plan for moving forward? (OAD: 10-13-14)

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: imperatrice on Feb 3, 2015, 7:54AM - In reply to legallydee
Smoking perhaps?   Or drinking alcohol perhaps?  Or eating junk food?  Or or or
Replied By: imperatrice on Feb 3, 2015, 7:52AM - In reply to alwaysaskeptic
And does not require you to "believe".  It simply is.
Replied By: laura1111 on Feb 2, 2015, 3:28PM
I think it is terrible the way Dana treats her sister...for her to try to make it about childhood and jealousies...

that often happens with a lot of sisters, one compares the outsides and stays stuck in their mind, that the other one envies them because they were more attractive at some stages in their development...

When some people grow up, they realize that being the most 'visually appealing' is not the most important thing to strive for.  Dana gets caught up in this because she is shallow, and I think with her drug use, it is one of the only things that she can try to 'hang on' to the idea of ...as a false sense of self esteem.

Dana obviously needs to feel this...even though it has become delusional in many ways...

It seems the grandmother does favour Dana over Jaye...Jaye is struggling to do the right thing...and seems to be feeling guilty about having Dana's daughter...though she is doing the right thing and will do better with Dr. Phil's professional guidance.  

Dana, has to move to Tennessee, if her motives are real...

Replied By: alwaysaskeptic on Dec 28, 2014, 5:06PM - In reply to loyalalways
I personally believe that addiction is not a "disease" as many claim and document in medical and psychiatric manuals. My take on it is that addicts are merely those among us who have no backbone or strength of character to realize that the road they have chosen is a dead end. They have the maturity of a two year old and just kick and scream when they want their way. If they don't get it, they self-medicate to insulate themselves from the mean, mean world out there and to forget what losers they are. Addiction is the same as cancer? I've yet to hear of a cancer patient stealing from family and friends or selling their body to strangers, because the cancer made them do it, they had no choice.
Replied By: legallydee on Dec 28, 2014, 3:40PM
I'm sorry I can't help but feel offended when you compared addiction with cancer or diabetes. My mother died of cancer a year ago. It was not her choice to have cancer genes and it was not her choice to die early. i am at high risk for cancer too because my grandparents and mother died of cancer in spite of living a healthy lifestyle. As for drug addiction, I beg to differ. A person always has the choice to use illegal drugs. Weren't we all warned when we were kids not to use illegal drugs because it brings about drug addiction?? drug addiction is not a virus or a cancer cell but rather a product of one's choice. If a person opted to take drugs for the first time and abused it, then most likely he or she will suffer from drug addiction. But if a person chose not to take illegal drugs at all of course that person will never get addicted.

So please do not compare drug addiction with cancer because the former is way too different from the latter. 
Replied By: legallydee on Dec 28, 2014, 11:48AM - In reply to loyalalways
Addiction may be a disease but please remember that before one became addicted, it was the person's choice to use drugs in the first place. Please do not make it appear that it is the drugs' sole fault because the reality is any person has that choice to stay away from drugs. Any responsible person would not even dare try drugs or even abuse it in order to avoid that dreaded addiction. I had been offered drugs a lot of times before but I chose not to take it because I know I don't want to get hooked. Some friends of mine became addicted. It was Dana's choice to repeatedly use drugs until she cannot stop herself. It is a great thing that she is now recovering. I sincerely hope that she will fully recover so that she can finally be reunited with her daughter. 

As for Jaye... I kinda applaud the woman for taking full responsibility in raising her niece. If Dana wishes to raise her daughter, I suggest that she leaves the custody with Jaye for the meantime while she is still recovering. I also hope that these sisters would learn to love, forgive, and support each other in spite of what happened to them in the past. 
Replied By: upsydasy on Dec 28, 2014, 7:25AM - In reply to jayerocks
There are ways of telling the truth to someone without diminishing who they are.  For example, when it came time to tell my daughter about who her birthfather was, I never said that he was a lying coward and a snake who cheated on me multiple times and changed the course of my life forever.  Instead, I related to her all of the positive qualities that he had, some of which she or my grandchildren may have inherited.  There’s no place for a 13 year old in adult situations that they have no control over.  Since her mother has addiction problems, she will need to be told gradually before she ever takes her first sip of alcohol or puff of smoke.  However, at her age all she really want's to know is that she is loved and cherished by everyone in her family, including her mother.  Jaye needs to keep her considerable resentment towards her sister, even if it's justified, to herself.

Replied By: loyalalways on Dec 28, 2014, 12:22AM - In reply to warrenk
You're welcome. I find people today to be SO judgmental and self-righteous. They're so busy watching for everyone else's faults or even looking for faults that they don't see their own transgressions. NOBODY is perfect! They look at addiction as a fault. It's NOT a fault. It's an illness, and a horrible one at that!! These people who judge addicts should count their blessings that they're not addicts themselves. EVERYBODY has a problem. How would these people like it if everyone criticized them as they do addicts? A very wise man once said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Replied By: warrenk on Dec 27, 2014, 4:41PM - In reply to loyalalways
Thank you for your comment. I agree with you and I was trying to make this point also. I'm not even saying where the child should be placed. I'm just saying that I'm really frustrated with people still preaching at addicts and alcoholics like their disease is a character defect. This is the 21st century. Addiction has been considered a disease for over 40 years. I wish people would get off their moral high horse and show a little common sense.
Replied By: warrenk on Dec 27, 2014, 4:35PM - In reply to jayerocks
I didn't make any suggestions about where the child should be placed. All I said was that addiction is a disease. And even though so called "professionals" claim to know this and sometimes even preach this, it sure shows in their attitude and behavior that they don't believe it. It is not helpfull nor is it professional to disrespect and insult an addict because their disease is viewed as a moral failure. This is the way people thought about it pre 1970. We've come a long way since then. Or have we???
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