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Aubrey says that she was physically and sexually abused by her stepfather, Michael, from ages 8 to 16 and claims that her mother, Tammy, knew it was happening -- but did nothing to stop it. She says that she hasn’t spoken to her mother in over three months and can’t move forward until she gets an apology from Tammy for failing to protect her. Tammy insists that she had no idea what her daughter was going through, despite allegations that she makes about also being physically and sexually abused by her ex-husband. Michael pleaded no contest to charges of aggravated indecent assault and statutory sexual assault and is serving 6 to 12 years in prison. What red flags may have Tammy missed? Hear why Aubrey says she thinks it’s impossible that her mother, who worked at a treatment center for sexually abused girls at the time, was in the dark about what was going on under her own roof. And, how does Tammy respond? Dr. Phil offers Tammy the chance to take a polygraph test to prove to her daughter that she didn’t know about the abuse -- will she accept? And, how can Aubrey and Tammy begin to heal their relationship?

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: ljejaj on Feb 25, 2015, 6:16PM - In reply to aubreyrochelle
I've never posted before but I did post to this board.  Not knowing if you Aubrey will ever see my comment unless it was in reply to you (even then I'm not sure you'll get it but I assume you will receive an email letting you know I replied to you) I am re-posting.  Sorry, social network stupid here ;-)



Aubrey's mother did apologize for everything that happened to her, failing her, not protecting her and so on.  I thought it was quite obvious that Aubrey wants (needs) her mother to apologize for KNOWINGLY failing and not protecting her.  I understand "at some point the past is the past," but I also understand first-hand the anger that festers in Audrey due to her mother's denial.  


Aubrey, sorry girl.  I lived for years with anger that I had no clue where it originated.  In my 30's I have figured out I'll never have a "normal" relationship with my mother no matter how hard I have tried.  The anger always resurfaces because the past is not resolved from lack of acknowledgement.  Can't fix it if you don't know it's broke, a relationship involves two people and if one person refuses to be honest it likely can't be repaired (fully).  What's helped me in forgiving anyone who has harmed me (or anyone who has allowed harm to come to me) is realizing some people are sick, "they know not what they do", and you get to set the boundaries of who you let into your life.  You're so young and intelligent, I truly admire your strength ;-)
 
Replied By: ljejaj on Feb 25, 2015, 5:58PM
Aubrey's mother did apologize for everything that happened to her, failing her, not protecting her and so on.  I thought it was quite obvious that Aubrey wants (needs) her mother to apologize for KNOWINGLY failing and not protecting her.  I understand "at some point the past is the past," but I also understand first-hand the anger that festers in Audrey due to her mother's denial.  


Aubrey, sorry girl.  I lived for years with anger that I had no clue where it originated.  In my 30's I have figured out I'll never have a "normal" relationship with my mother no matter how hard I have tried.  The anger always resurfaces because the past is not resolved from lack of acknowledgement.  Can't fix it if you don't know it's broke, a relationship involves two people and if one person refuses to be honest it likely can't be repaired (fully).  What's helped me in forgiving anyone who has harmed me (or anyone who has allowed harm to come to me) is realizing some people are sick, "they know not what they do", and you get to set the boundaries of who you let into your life.  You're so young and intelligent, I truly admire your strength ;-)
 
Replied By: daniegirl916 on Feb 23, 2015, 7:03AM
Abandoned by mother at the age of 3, my father gave full custody of my older sister and I, to his sister and her husband at the time. due to  reasons with being a single father and struggling to provide. I was sexually abused by my Aunts now Ex husband from what I recalled the ages of 6 until 12. When i told social workers what had been happening, my older sister also confessed to it happening to her also. He was persecuted and sentenced to 12 years in prison. After my aunt divorced him,she always swore up and down that "she had no idea" and that "if she would  have known" etc. I never made a big deal of it with her throughout the years, because honestly, i was only a child and i was busy dealing with the emotional trauma it had caused me in very "unhealthy" ways. i turned to street walking and drugs by the time i was 13 and by 16 i landed myself in a "rehab" for teenagers. at age 18 i was dancing at the local stripclubs and "escorting" in vegas by 21. i had this image of men in my head and was only trying  to make sense of it all, i guess. Well im 27 now,and a little over a year ago i returned back home after almost 5 years of not seeing my family. I delt with most of my past troubles,or so i thought. when i was informed by my aunt that her ex husband would be released from prison march 2014, everything came rushing back. she still denied knowing or even suspecting anything that happened all of those years, which,now,as an adult i really truly in my heart,mind and soul find that very hard to believe. HOW DO YOU NOT EVEN GET THE Slightest hunch or feeling about something SO CLEAR whatsoever out of all those years? by age 11 or so i started sleep walking and would wake up in HER bed with her asking me why are you in here and my response everytime was i didnt know or remeber going in there.(they slept separate for as long as i can remember)  well here is the catch, Dr.Phil... about 6 months ago or so, the mother of my niece, my brothers ex, befriended my aunt and lived with her for a short while. My aunt got wasted and felt the need to "confess" some of her long lost secrets she had hid her entire life!! among the many she told was one that I WILL NEVER FORGET. My sis n law only told me because she knew it was a chapter in my life that needed to be finished and done before the arrival of my now month old daughter. My aunt said that when i was just about 4 years old, she went into the bedroom to find me in the bed with her ex husband, WIth no underwear on. supposedly he said that i wet the bed but if that was the case why would i still be in the bed with nothing on, under the blankets with a GROWN man!! so now, thinking back on things, and recollecting my thoughts of it all, I KNOW THAT THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY THAT SHE DID NOT KNOW!! or even get a clue or hunch or anything! and the way she always is trying to "convince" me that she didnt is even more of a clue to me now. she will repeat it over n over after i clearly tell her thats it doesnt matter or that i dont care.my older sister hasnt spoke to her in years because she sais she is just as much guilty as he is. im very suspicious and curious as well now. especially after her confession to my sis in law. I did speak to the jerk who caused alot of pain in my life recently before i had my baby, it was the only way to get over it for good. he had the nerve to ask me to email him and keep in touch. said he saw my facebook and knew what i looked like and that i was pregnant. WOW! i could say that i couldnt believe it, but i did, it didnt shock me at all after all those years. even with the regulations from parole and being a registered sex offender, for him to absolutely have NO contact with the victims of his crime, he still managed to find me on facebook AND ask me to send him a pic of my daughter when she was born!  So, dr.phil, my question for you is this, can u help me get to the bottom of my story? can you help me close this chapter once and for all? i need answers,i need the truth, and i need everyone in my family to know it. know the deep dark secrets that were kept from me all of these years, COULD my aunt have prevented my life from turning out the way it did? is she to blame for it all? is my mother, who abandoned me at 3, to blame? is the man who abused me to blame? OR am I to blame? PLEASE HELP ME! i need to get this dealt with and put behind me in able to raise my daughter properly and emotionally healthy. She needs a clear minded mommy. HELP US Dr.PHIL?!?
 
Replied By: duncanddog on Jun 29, 2014, 12:41AM - In reply to aubreyrochelle
I just finished watching your Dr. Phil episode on youtube because I like doing those kinds of things, and I noticed and was impressed by the way you held yourself on the show. I spent like an hour trying to figure out how to comment on this but if you want to chat about anything really, email me at duncandrummond1998@gmail.com. If you want to talk then that's GREAT. I definitely want to hear from you because you seem like a cool kind of person and I like that. :)
 
Replied By: jeanierp on Jun 9, 2014, 5:14PM - In reply to liancardie
I am not at all good about following up with my comments!  I just read yours and you are very kind.  I am so sorry you have had to deal with such a destructive family.  I hope you are able to continue to move on.
 
Replied By: penfold on Apr 1, 2014, 7:30PM - In reply to pinkangelgirl
You are spot on when you say this woman is also an abuser. The show made me furious, especially because Dr Phil was so lenient on her. Women need to know there is no excuse for not protecting your child...not fear of poverty, not fear of abuse....NOTHING! It is a mother's instinct and job to first protect their children and THEN themselves.



I notice on Aussie state is set to introduce an automatic 3 year sentence for women like Aubrey's mother. It can't come soon enough and I hope the other states quickly follow suit.



Paedophiles are sick but there are no words to describe a mother who sells her child into sexual slavery, in her own home. No words.

 
Replied By: penfold on Mar 30, 2014, 11:07PM - In reply to aubreyrochelle
It is completely understandable that you would want to keep your mother in your life, given your age and how fragile you must feel. However, I guarantee that you will eventually come to an understanding that she is a narcissistic sociopath and incapable of giving you what you need.

I don't know how long that will take because growing up is a process but I hope you can move on from her before you have children yourself. She is poison and would happily stand by and watch the same thing happen to them.

Sometimes you have to pull the thorn from your side and throw it away forever.

 
Replied By: penfold on Mar 30, 2014, 10:43PM
Your mother is a liar. Women like her...and there are many of them...need to be imprisoned along with the perpetrators. They turn a blind eye to the abuse of their children for some sick reason and present an innocent face to the world but don't buy it...she is a liar to the core and even sicker than your stepfather.

Aubrey, I know you are not yet a mother, but that bond is such that you would do anything to protect your child IF you care about them more than yourself. Your mother has no concept of that and cares only for herself. She only cried when taking about her own 'abuse' and I believe she did know what was happening but could only feel emotion based on how it affected her.....and that emotion was JEALOUSY.

Take it from someone who is in their 50's with a mother who is still living but has no part in her life. Sometimes you have to be prepared to accept that you will NEVER get what you need from your parent and you have to be prepared to parent yourself.

I am so proud of you. You are an incredible woman who doesn't need to continue to endure your mother's particular brand of cruelty. Stop waiting for her 'to get it'...it will never happen because she is not capable of it but you will go on to do great things without her and in spite of her.

Kick her to the curb and DO NOT LOOK BACK. Give your own children a sensational gift....free them from her poison and the damage she would do to them. Make your own way and be proud of yourself. You are already more mature and more emotionally intelligent than she ever could be. You are better off without her. I wish you every happiness.
 
Replied By: pinkangelgirl on Mar 30, 2014, 9:14PM
I just watched the show here in Australia and i was in shock. As i looked at my 2yr old daughter i felt heartache for Aubrey and just sick and angry with that women who is called a mother. What made me so angry was that she was just making excuse after excuse and also kept turning the attention onto herself wanting sympathy because she was also abused. Guess what? It was your choice lady. You are an adult who chose to stay with an abusive criminal. Your daughter did not. How do you turn a blind eye and a deaf ear when your daughter is pleading for help. Its disgusting. She should be in jail also. She saw a crime being commited against her daughter for years and ignored it. The other joke is that she worked in a job that dealt with child abuse. What the!? I believe in forgiveness and it is absolutely neccessary for Aubrey but that does not mean that its in her best interest to have a relationship with her mother. Her mother is not a victim, she is also an abuser. She may be forgiven but there are consequences for neglect. She doesnt deserve to have her daughter in her life. I don't believe she is truly sorry. She heard what her daughter was saying and was still basically saying what about me?

Aubrey is an amazing girl and has such a promising future ahead of her. I think its best she leaves her past where it is, behind her, including her mother.
 
Replied By: dogluver1970 on Feb 18, 2014, 2:52PM - In reply to cupid2011
Dogs act on instinct - people are much more complex!! So with all due respect, your example is extremely flawed.
 
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