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2013 Shows

 
Karen and Tim say the last six years with their 24-year-old adopted son, Adam, have been a nightmare, and Tim wants to cut him out of their lives for good -- but Karen says she can’t give up yet. The parents say Adam has become angry and violent, has pulled a knife on them and threatened to get a gun. They also say Adam abuses drugs and alcohol and has been arrested multiple times -- including an arrest one week ago for felony drug-related charges. With Adam now facing seven years in jail, Karen and Tim post bail so he can meet with Dr. Phil, in an effort to turn his life around. Hear how Adam explains his destructive choices. Does he want to change? And, find out why Tim says he’s not hopeful that Adam will make a turnaround. Then, hear from Adam’s ex-girlfriend, Kristin, who calls him a “ticking time bomb.” How does Adam respond? When Dr. Phil offers him a lifeline, will he grab ahold? And, will both of his parents be willing to give him one more chance?

Find out what happened on the show.
Comments
Replied By: caseylewis1 on Feb 16, 2014, 5:51PM
Unless you know the Miles both Tim and Karen as well as Adam, it is very difficult to judge. It is equally easy to cast judgement on people who have lived through unspeakable horror and emotional turmoil. I live in the same community as the Miles live. I have known them for many years. I coached Adam as a young man and know all of the kids he grew up with. There is much more here than meets the eye. Tim and Karen (both of them) were are and have been wonderful parents to Adam. They gave him everything materailly and emotionally as he was growing up. Adam along with many other young men his age in this town succumbed to drugs and partying. We as parents can only own so much in that process. Trying too hard to be good parents, and letting them grow up soft may be our only mistakes. But these young men, lots of them in this town have made the concious stupid decision to take drugs. It is those drugs that corrupt their mind. listening to Dr. Phil and his merry band of psychiatrists makes me sick to my stomach. These people all have an answer. Most of the time it involves more drugs and more of the same thing. Tim is right, it takes tough love and a swift kick in the ass to let Adam "bottom out' Then maybe Adam can appreciiate fully everything and every sacrifice these wonderful people gave him. And for what? To be tortured, ridiculed and made to feel that they somehow are to blame. BS Adam is to blame. And he needs to find the internal strength and fortitude to stop taking drugs, cleanse his body, mind and soul and apologize to everyone for his stupidity. I'm so sick as a parent watching the medical community practice on our children with drugs! That's the problem to begin with. For those of you out there over the age of 45, how many freinds do you remember being diagnosed in grade school with issues that required anxiety medication, tranquilizers and pain meds??? Come on people. Wake up! Stop listening to tel evangelst medical gurus. The place they sent Adam and all of them like it have a 90% failure rate! Check it out. Bravo both Tim and Karen. They must come together for their own lives and Adam needs to grow up. I am hopeful that he will find his way, but not if the medical community contnues to coddle his condition and exacerbate it with more medication. Adam like many of the other kids in this town can trace all of their issues to the day they starting toying with drugs. I bet you that if you did a graph chart of Adam's behavior it started at that point. He is a good kid from a good family. Drugs (prescribed drugs) are the issue in this town and in this country.
 
Replied By: goldenbeach on Feb 14, 2014, 9:04PM
You collected this baby from the hospital, you reared him, you are resposnsible for whatever his failings, if any.   He was not born with them.

What an unpleasant man is this father.  He has NO heart.  When the young man is well, he would be better off if he moved far away.
 
Replied By: strine on Feb 13, 2014, 11:45PM - In reply to mscounselor777
I said the father has a problem, then read your comment. He really is a big part of the problem here. Adam owns some too, but he's a young guy whose brain hasn't fully developed yet and doesn't know better like his father should. That father should know better than making outrageous statements based on 3yrs out of his son's life "I disown you because for 3yrs you weren't perfect". Did his son murder anyone? Were his threats real or hollow? Hollow.

Seems he just wanted that father to notice him and he knows how to get his attention is through bad behaviour since good behaviour didn't work either- never good enough behaviour I'm sure. Always a criticism attached, "Yeah son you hit the ball, but you could have done xyz to make it go further".  He always had a bad thing to say on the stage and never anything good about anything concerning Adam (things that I could see as a stranger to Adam). I just hope he doesn't harm himself and gets clean enough to realise he can have a good life of his own determined by himself rather than by his father's measuring stick.
 
Replied By: strine on Feb 13, 2014, 10:37PM
When Tim said he wished they went to a pound and picked up dogs instead of their son, I could see he is sick. I bet he was treating Adam poorly when he was smaller also due to him not being his biological son. Who compares their kid to a dog?

Why were they drugging him when he was smaller if he was the PERFECT kid they kept claiming he was? Not perfect enough for his "father"?

Adam's "father" there said he disowned him 3yrs beforehand. It's only been 6yrs since he "Went off the rails" according to them>>> It would take my kids A LOT longer than that to make me disown them when it took me almost half a lifetime to emotionally disown an alcoholic father who was NEVER there for me. I love my kids and their mistakes do not make them who they are any more than their successes make them who they are inside. 

How can a man get to the age that Tim is and not realise that saying things like he said is wrong? He was spouting impulsive BS like a teenager himself (stuff that I would laugh at if my kids said it). Did he always talk like that to his son in the privacy of their home? Not cleaning a room, not training at sport hard enough etc = I spout hurtful BS, turn my back and medicate you? Kids need to hear they're loved too and Tim should know it because I bet his Dad never said it to him either and he is too weak to tell his own son. 


If Adam dies after that barrage, you can bet Tim would be hating himself (either because he really did care or because everyone knows what he said) and he would own it too since he should know better. 


I can understand how futile this exercise of getting "better" would seem to Adam: What's the point of  spending the rest of his life trying to prove he's perfect for that guy when he spent his formative years trying to be perfect and IT DIDN"T WORK? He needs to find a reason of his own to get "better" that doesn't rely on someone else.

 
Replied By: mscounselor777 on Dec 29, 2013, 10:37PM
That 'father' is THE problem.  He is a bully, and I don't know how anyone can stand to be around him.  Hats off to 'that kid' for living with that 'monster' as long as he did.  On the show alone, the 'father' was emotionally abusive, cold, and narcissitic, and I don't know why that wasn't addressed.  Dr. Phil let him drill Adam for far too long, should've reigned 'dad' in a lot more.  I don't buy this as being a neurological problem either.  Like preacher's kids, it's not surprising that a boy raised by this kind of emotionally bad cop would have an equally extreme opposite nature.  Mom is way too weak... probably from living with cavedad for too long.
Obviously, Adam can manipulate, is a typical lying dope head now, and has done some very bad things, but 'dad' is such a huge jerk he can't even cover it up for a few minutes on national tv.  And I don't buy this whole, 'dad is just damaged' stick for one second... he's cold, sickening, and abusive.  Adam is a credit to this poor excuse for a 'father'.  He's brighter than both his parents, he's not crazy, and he's right, he does NOT need drugs, no matter what they poured down his little mouth during his vulnerable, formative years.  Society has failed him since birth; everyone has failed him.  His reaction is not surprising to me in the least. The whole schrade makes me sick.
 
Replied By: artkern on Dec 17, 2013, 9:48AM
Dr. Phil, you got this one completely wrong and the father was absolutely right. I think the show went well UNTIL DR PHIL'S DARK ROOM ANALOGY. To paraphrase Dr. Phil's analogy, if my son were trapped in a dark room and moved away from me every time I tried to help lead him out, I would eventually come to the conclusion that he didn't want my help and I'd step back and wait until he showed me he really wanted help getting out before I tried to offer any more. The father was right to say thet He's not going to offer any more help without seeing a real track record of positive effort. This kid is a manipulator who wants to blame everyone except himself for the fact that as a 24 year old man, he still acts like a spoiled child; if he were my son, I wouldn't give him anything else until he showed me that he was ready to grow up and be a man. Dr. Phil's diagnosis is to give this guy yet another reason why nothing is his fault, and put him in a situation where he can learn to be an even better manipulator. What he needs is a chance to experience the consequences of his actions, which apparently he hasn't had to do up to this point. Finally, his mother needs to stop enabling his behavior and get on board with his father for some real tough love. You took the wimpy way out this time, Doctor.
 
Replied By: artkern on Dec 17, 2013, 9:39AM
Dr. Phil, you got this one completely wrong and the father was absolutely right. I think the show went well UNTIL DR PHIL'S DARK ROOM ANALOGY. To paraphrase Dr. Phil's analogy, if my son were trapped in a dark room and moved away from me every time I tried to help lead him out, I would eventually come to the conclusion that he didn't want my help and I'd step back and wait until he showed me he really wanted help getting out before I tried to offer any more. The father was right to say thet He's not going to offer any more help without seeing a real track record of positive effort. This kid is a manipulator who wants to blame everyone except himself for the fact that as a 24 year old man, he still acts like a spoiled child; if he were my son, I wouldn't give him anything else until he showed me that he was ready to grow up and be a man. Dr. Phil's diagnosis is to give this guy yet another reason why nothing is his fault, and put him in a situation where he can learn to be an even better manipulator. What he needs is a chance to experience the consequences of his actions, which apparently he hasn't had to do up to this point. Finally, his mother needs to stop enabling his behavior and get on board with his father for some real tough love. You took the wimpy way out this time, Doctor.
 
Replied By: natinchicago on Dec 16, 2013, 3:44PM - In reply to mstephens01
Carole and M. Stephens, thank you so much for sharing what you did. I still assert that no parent has ever been in the extreme point when they are ready to give up on his or her child, that person can never, never in a million years know what it is to be there. Thus, no one who hasn't been there is in a position to say "a parent never gives up on his/her child." The world is full of people doing things they though adamantly at one time they would never do. Everyone has a breaking point. No one is a saint. Never tell someone else how he/she can or can't feel about ANYTHING if you haven't walk 10ft. in his/her shoes.
 
Replied By: mamarena on Dec 14, 2013, 9:26PM
In my opinion they missed the point. I was sitting in front of the TV - yelling. In my opinion the issue is very very deep. I also think Adam knows what the issue is but he don't want to let it out. My parents adopted me when I was a baby. My childhood was good but once I hit the age of 12 i was going crazy. Nobody know what was going on with me. My parents took me to various doctors to figure out what was going on. They also gave me different diagnoses. I lashed out, was angry, ran away from home, I tried to harm myself etc. My family and I were at the same point this family was minus the drugs and the violent behavior. I can relate to all of this so much. But the real reason why he lashes out like this is because of the adoption. Knowing that your biological parents gave you away is very painful. Adam said that he can't understand why a parent willingly turn his/her back on hiis/her child. He is refering to his biological parents and his father. I wanted to scream at his father when he said "“I regret the day that we went to Santa Cruz and adopted Adam.” This sentence crushed Adam if he admits it or not. To say that to a child period is already bad but to say it to an adopted child that has been given away by his biological parents is evil. Adam doesn't feel love. He wanted to hear his father say that he loves him. Now I can understand why the parents try to protect themselves because I do not want to excuse Adams behavior. However, the issue lies way deeper which would be the adoption. He is directing his anger he got towards his biological parents to his adoptive parents. I did the same thing and it took us a long time to figure that out. I wish I could sit down and talk to this family. I've been there and I can relate to that. I feel Adams pain. I can feel the parents pain.  There are some things even doctors can't understand unless they went through it. Praying for this family that's for sure. All of them are hurt. All of them hurt each other.
 
Replied By: terryann123 on Dec 9, 2013, 9:23PM - In reply to another2cents
I have to agree with this comment. As hard as it is to hear anyone say the things this man said I think it comes from pain... I find my family in the same situation with our 15 year old son and am scared for him everyday. There are so many young people falling through the cracks because they have no one to turn to. We are doing all we can for our son but we seem to be the ones that he takes everything out on. Until a few days ago I would never think I would even think to say" Im done with him" but ..Im struggling. I would never go as far as some of the things this dad has said but I can see why he said them. Your right in saying Dont Judge until ya know. My husband is an RCMP officer and I know it kills him to see where his son could end up. Being brought up in a military family I think he has a really hard time understanding the disrespect and disgard our son has. It is a very hard situation to be in. Mental Health is not an easy thing to live with but try having it inside you.. we can never understand what their going through inside of them. I REFUSE to give up on my son Im just so tired of being his mental punching bag but if that is what I have to be then so be it.
 
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