2013 Shows

(Original Air Date: 10/25/13) Valerie says her 19-year-old daughter, Alyssa, is a lazy, irresponsible mom who refuses to get a job and is often found asleep on the couch, leaving her 11-month-old baby unattended. Valerie claims she and her husband, Greg, are frequently left to care for the baby while Alyssa goes out with friends. Alyssa says she can’t stand being around the house because her mother and stepfather are religious extremists with overbearing rules. She says Greg installed cameras in the home to keep tabs on her during the day, and her mother tracks her every move with the GPS on her phone. Alyssa also reveals that she recently shared a horrific secret with her parents -- but questions whether they believe her. Alyssa takes a polygraph test to back her claim -- what will the results reveal? And, can Dr. Phil heal this fractured family and bring peace back into their home? Then, actor and model Antonio Sabato Jr. is campaigning for a new law banning the growth and distribution of medical marijuana in homes with children under 18. He faces off with the “Martha Stewart of Marijuana,” Cheryl Shuman, Executive Director of the Beverly Hills Cannabis Club. Find out why they are so passionate about this controversial subject.

Find out what happened on the show.
Replied By: goldenbeach on Jan 14, 2014, 10:21PM
That's it.  How very odd.  Odd appearance, odd parenting methods.
Replied By: goldenbeach on Jan 14, 2014, 10:12PM - In reply to msfrizbe
You are right.  He spoke to the audience when Dr. Phil asked him questions.  How rude.  Usually Dr. Phil berates someone doing this, but not this man.

He has lost his good looks, but still thinks he's God's gift to humanity. 
Replied By: upsydasy on Jan 5, 2014, 10:00AM - In reply to loyalalways
After reading your post, I wanted to tell you that just because your abuser used his hands instead of his sexual organ, what happened to you was/is considered rape in no uncertain terms.  You have a right to feel what you do just as much as any other rape survivor out there, because that's what you are.

I hope that by sharing some of your experiences here, albeit semi-anonymously, you were able to find even more healing and strength. 
Replied By: loyalalways on Jan 4, 2014, 11:29PM - In reply to jillsherwood
Jill Sherwood, you're very welcome.

Don't feel bad about not fighting back. I know too well how it feels to be molested and how scared it makes you feel. I've been molested by 5 different men (at different times, of course). Four of them were guys just feeling my breasts, but, they grabbed me from behind, just kept doing it and wouldn't let go. Some may think that's minor, but it wasn't minor to me (see paragraph below). I felt that I couldn't move. It felt like forever. I did NOT like it. Regardless of how minor it may seem to others, when you're younger, you're so stunned that you can't move. It's not minor to you. That's how I felt.

I guess those bothered me so much because the other time that I was molested (the 1st time), it really did leave emotional scars. It really did affect me for the rest of my life. I just try not to let it take over me. I remind myself that I was not raped like so many other people have to endure. For many years I thought that I must be a bad person and that people didn't like me, so that's why they did those things. I know differently now, though. 

OMG, I JUST thought of something. It is EXTREMELY hard for me to even talk about this, even though none of us can see one another's faces and none of us knows anyone else here. But, even though that creep didn't use his penis, he did use his fingers. I'm 64 years old and I have never, ever been able to say that to anyone before, and I cringe posting it here. I don't like to compare myself to someone who's been through the horror of rape, but, I think I can say that it's pretty darn close. When someone is on top of you and he's a lot bigger than you, you CAN'T move. Then I was told not to tell my mother or anyone else. Nobody told me that I SHOULD tell someone, like they do now. People didn't talk about it back then.

There is one other thing about that jerk that makes me angry, though. That bastard was a friend of my mom and dad.  This happened not long after my dad passed away. I was 3 weeks shy of my 10th birthday when my dad, whom I was still calling 'daddy', died. I was still grieving my father's death and that S.O.B pulls that. These people care only about themselves.

I think that's why I try to be so compassionate with others. I try to understand why people are like they are. I really love to be there for people who need someone to talk to. My friends in high school used to call me Ann Landers. lol! I'm still like that today. However, I can also get annoyed with  people and say things I shouldn't say, but I try not to do it very often.
Replied By: upsydasy on Jan 3, 2014, 9:21AM - In reply to jillsherwood
Please don’t blame yourself for not fighting back.  That’s exactly what these pedophiles count on.  My paternal grandfather was like that but I never knew it until my mother warned me that he may try something, when he and my grandmother came to stay with me while my parents were on vacation.  She also told me not to say anything to anyone or it would break my father’s heart.  It’s strange now to realize that her first instinct was to protect her husband rather than her 15 year old daughter, but that’s how some women thought in those days.  However, thanks to her warning, I was able to push his hand away when he did try to touch me inappropriately.  He was so humiliated that he took my grandmother and left me alone to fend for myself for 2 weeks before my parents returned home.  No questions were ever asked because nobody truly wanted to know the answer, but they were all aware that SOMETHING must have happened.

That’s how these pedophiles are allowed to operate for so long and continue victimizing family members.  Nobody wants to be the first to blab the family secret and their kids have to pay the price.
Replied By: jillsherwood on Jan 2, 2014, 7:40PM - In reply to torijane
To Loyalalways and Torijane, Thank you for listening and being compassionate.
Loyalalways, your right he molested my cousin and his sister who had downs syndrome, and she had more courage than me ,she told him no and I was too afraid to say anything.
Replied By: torijane on Jan 2, 2014, 4:16AM
Dear Dr. Phil

My name is Victoria "Tori" Janssen; I am a 24-year-old woman living in a small Canadian community named Woodstock, located in Southwestern Ontario.

I graduated high school when I was 17, and continued onto the University of Western Ontario for four years, where I successfully obtained a Bachelor's degree; an honors double major in criminology and sociology.

I graduated University in June of 2011, and have since been working back in my hometown as a server/bartender at a local British Pub named "The Charles Dickens". I come from a loving, close knit family, to whom I owe everything I am today as a woman. I am the middle of 3 children. I have a 26-year-old sister, a 20-year-old brother, and two loving parents I cannot begin to brag about (all of us also live in the same town). I am also proud to say I have been "on my own" since I left for school, and have continued to support myself (and my dog) for the last 6 years of my life, all while plugging away at my student debt.

I have varying interests including passionate opinions on religion (from a theological standpoint, I choose to not affiliate with any religious denomination), law, reading, movies, pop culture, society in general. I am working towards returning to school in the fall to become a paralegal, and I hope to one day attend law school. However, I'd like to see some of the world before I get too serious and want babies and all of that fun stuff.

I began watching Oprah as a (very mature) 12 year old. I specifically remember coming home from school to turn it on. Funny thing being, my parents weren't even regular watchers of the show or anything (they would usually be at work until about 430pm so I was able to "sneak" in some viewing time (most topics they were fine with me viewing anyway). I admired Oprah, as a 12 year old girl living in a "nowhere" town in Ontario Canada, population 37,000 people. I began reading into her life and learned her story. In grade 7 we were given an assignment to conduct "speeches" on our idols. Growing up here, most of my peers chose admirable Canadian idols like Wayne Gretzky, or Laura Secord. I chose Oprah. I borrowed an oversized blazer with shoulder pads from my mom, and an old microphone of my dads left over from his years as a local radio personality. I remember borrowing books from the library, and relating to the troubled 13-year-old Oprah Winfrey, even though I had no relatable experiences (when it came to abuse).

I watched you on Oprah as a pre-teen, and I have been listening and looking up to you ever since.

Enough about me, on to the REAL reason I'm writing you. I felt like I could not sit still, or even sleep tonight (New Year's Day).. after watching Alyssa's story about being molested and raped for the majority of her life. I don't know what it was but something about this story has sparked a sense of obligation in me. I want to help Alyssa so much. She is young, she has a baby, she has been shown no real example of how to live as a young woman in today's world. I'm sure I am far away from where she lives, and I realize I'm not going to be the only one writing you from a sympathetic standpoint in regards to Alyssa. But I know you stay in contact with guests, and I just feel like if given the chance to talk to Alyssa, I could help her with her journey. Even if it's over the internet. If you could maybe just pass on this letter to her somehow. I know she'll have millions of supporters, but I hear your silent cries loud and clear Alyssa. I have no idea why, and I don't know the emotions from a personal standpoint but I am very easy to talk to, a great listener. I can be a far away friend, a private confidant.

Perhaps when the "hype" surrounding this story dies down, Alyssa can know in her heart there is someone out there far away who will not forget her ongoing struggle. I commend her for her bravery, she is an inspiration and I am sure she does not know this.

A true fan, a feisty young woman,

Victoria “Tori” Janssen
Replied By: torijane on Jan 2, 2014, 2:59AM - In reply to loyalalways
I don't claim to be a victim of any sort of abuse. I have been fortunate for some reason in this life to be considered a "lucky one". This is my first day actually logging in and making a profile on this site of Dr. Phil's. I signed in and began scrolling. In reality, I felt like I could not sit still, or even sleep tonight (New Year's Day).. after watching Alyssa's story about being molested for the majority of her life. Your particular entry stuck out in my mind as I read. It just really shows how much more stronger/superior/ in touch with the reality around you you ..than was your family. I feel sick this happened to you, but I admire your strengh to be able to tell your story and live your life.
Replied By: loyalalways on Jan 1, 2014, 3:29PM - In reply to jillsherwood
OMG!!!!!!!!! I am SO, SO sorry that you had to go through that. For a mother to betray her daughter like that is inexcusable. I know it was a very hard decision for you to not tell your father. However, I commend you for thinking of him in his dying  years. I'm really sorry that you were again betrayed  when he died. But, look at it this way. Your dad would never have let this man get away with what he did, I'm sure. Had he known what this creep did, he would have understood why you did what you did. He also would have seen to it that your uncle was prosecuted. Why else would your mother not want him to know??? That's the impression I got from your message. Mind you, I think I would have asked my daughter why before I assumed anything, but, I haven't walked in his shoes, so I can't say for sure. I firmly believe that your mother KNOWS she did wrong. The people in the will may not know the full story, but, if they do, it will haunt them, too. Money isn't everything if you can't live with yourself. 

Try not to let these other people change you or your life. I hate to use the word 'forgive' for these things, but try to not let this make your life miserable. When your life is miserable, the people around you are also miserable. You don't deserve that and neither do your husband and children (I assume you're married with children). You deserve peace in your life. You've been through enough. Don't let these people know that it even bothers you. The best revenge is success. With success is happiness. Be happy in your life and be happy with the family you have now (if  you have them). Nobody else is important. Let them see how happy you are.

BTW, your uncle didn't just molest you. He also molested others. I guarantee you. Tell your mother to live with THAT.
Replied By: jillsherwood on Jan 1, 2014, 9:37AM
After years of therapy I told my mother that her brother molested me for years. She said 'I'm sorry it happened don't tell your father.' I was getting married a few years later and told my mother  her brother was not invited, she told me I couldn't do that it was everyone or no one .I chose no one. That was twenty years ago. When her brother died October of 2010 she could not understand why I didn't care. My father was very ill at the time and kept telling stories how he always thought of this man as one of his children and how sad it was he had died (lung cancer) I chose not to tell my father @ that point because I knew he didn't have long and it would have angered him to no end to know what my mother had said. when died  April 2011 I never saw his will til March 2012 and I was excluded specifically out of his will with the two beneficiaries being the two who witnesses the will. I havent spoken to her since .
its hard to live knowing your mother turned her back on you . She is going to hell when she dies,
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